He wasn't responding to her texts or calls. This was bad. Caitlin Snow paced around a hallway in star labs fingers in a flurry sending a barrage of texts to none other than Barry Allen. Not a single reply in the three hours that she had been trying to get any sort of response; even just a simple 'I'm okay'. Huffing to herself she crossed her arms staring off into blank space. Her mind spinning a thousand miles per-hour on the number of dangerous and or idiotic activities that Barry could be up to right now. In such a state as he is now there's no telling what kind of trouble he could be in…
"Earth to Caitlin!"
Her head snapped in the direction of a sullen looking Cisco not five feet away from her.
She replied with a sharp tone.
"What Cisco?!"
His shoulders fell.
"I've been trying to get your attention for like the past five minutes."
She raised her eyebrows showing no desire for small talk.
"Out with it then, what is so important?
Cisco frowned, "I found Barry."
Her eyes widened in surprise, "Where is he?!"
"The simplest place neither of us tried to look. He's at his house…"
Caitlin let out a huff of annoyance.
"And he couldn't tell us that even with a simple text?"
Cisco crossed his arms.
"After what happened he may just need some alone time… You know how much stuff like this gets to him."
She shook her head in defiance.
"I'm going over there now, he shouldn't be alone in this."
Cisco looked at her with surprise in her claim. Not that he thought of Caitlin as a cold person it's just that throughout their entire friendship she was always the most analytical person that he knew. For her to express a need to not only console Barry, but to break his personal boundaries said a lot to him about how much she truly cared.
"Caitlin just be… gentle."
She frowned in his direction.
"I know I can be a little…"
"Frigid?"
She shot him a mock glare, "I was going to say tactful, but trust me Cisco I know something about dealing with this kind of grief.
He nodded in understanding and appreciation for her acknowledgement of her own sometimes frosty behavior. With that she passed him squeezing his arm lightly before making her way to the outside of S.T.A.R labs and en route to Joe's house.
Thirty minutes later
While she knocked again on the front door of the house her worry skyrocketed with each passing time her knuckles met the smooth wooden door. Stepping back she leaned over to peer through the small window to the right of the door. The view inside granted her nothing but empty furniture and a shadowy living room. Standing up straight again she reached for the door knob. Why not try at least, right? Twisting it she felt the familiar click of the door opening. Test all variables, no matter how un-likely. Stepping in and shutting the door behind her she surveyed the room for the chestnut-haired man with no luck in spotting him.
Hesitantly she called out, "Barry?"
For a few seconds she heard nothing. Then her ears picked up the faintest sound of music coming from upstairs. Silently she made her way up the staircase to investigate the melodic tunes. When she reached Barry's door the music got louder until she paused to stand before it. Taking a deep breath in she opened the door as slowly as she could. What came into her field of vision broke her heat. Barry was on his bed sitting with one knee pulled up to his chest with his long arms wrapped around it. His forehead wresting on the top of his drawn knee. He wore a worn looking grey hoody, and red sweat pants that had wholes in odd places along thee knees. His usually untamed hair lay flatter against his skull. All in all Caitlin's expression fell to one of a person who just witnessed a puppy cry.
Knocking lightly on the door to get his attention Barry's head shot up. When she met his greenish-blue blood shot eyes she sucked in a breath.
'Oh Barry…'
"Barry I just wanted to say.."
He just shook his head not wanting to hear her words. She lowered her gaze in understanding. For what felt like a lifetime, but was really a second she battled with what she should do next. Raising her head she was met with a confused looking speedster. She marched up to him sitting down on the open side of the bed behind him. Kicking off her high-heels she brought her legs up onto the bed resting against the head board just as he was. Snaking an arm around his shoulder Caitlin with more force than what Barry thought she could do guided his head to the crook of her neck. Barry's eyes widened in surprise as her other hand came up to wrest in his hair as her fingers combed through his soft brown locks. His eyes softened as he felt the warmth emanating from her skin begin to calm him. Her scent filled his senses as hints of a calming flowery fragrance encircled him. Neither said a word as Caitlin continued her gentle menstruations through his hair.
After a few minutes she spoke in a low and soft tone.
"It wasn't your fault Barry… You saved so many people in that explosion, even you aren't fast enough to be everywhere at once."
She felt his breathe quicken at the mention of the event. In a hoarse tone he replied.
"That woman died because of me Caitlin… I had to watch her son's eyes as he looked around for where his mother was."
Caitlin tightened her hold around his shoulders.
"He looked me in the eyes and asked me why I didn't save her. How I saved everyone else's Mom's but not his?"
She loosened her grip on him as he sat up to meet her gaze. Tears welled in his eyes causing her own to grow misty.
"Why wasn't I faster? Why didn't I grab her when I had the chance?"
Caitlin brought a hand up to his cheek running her thumb over his skin.
"I… I don't know Barry. By the time you got there the explosion was already being set off.. You saved nine people in less than a second… Barry you're a hero."
His gaze fell.
"But, his mother died because of.."
She tilted his chin up with wide eyes.
"Listen to me. She did not die because of you. She died because some maniac decided to destroy the lives of everyday people. You saved as many as you could. Barry. You. Are. A. Hero."
His mouth opened to respond slightly, but closed almost immediately when he saw how set she was in her belief. His head fell again to wrest in the crook of her neck as her arms returned them to their previous position. Caitlin didn't know whether it was a few minutes or a few hours, but when she felt Barry's breathing slow and even out she let out a sigh of relief. He deserved as much rest as he needed after what had happened. More so with how many lives he had saved in the past half year he deserved to sleep for an eternity. Nuzzling her face into his hair she placed a kiss to the top of his head.
She would do anything for Barry Allen. And right now if that meant just being the person that could hold him in his times of despair, she was more than willing. Because Barry Allen deserved so much more.