My muse has finally returned.

Every recognizable character, plot, setting, etc., does not belong to me.

Never Ending

As I started breathing in water, I started to recollect my life. It didn't necessarily come naturally. I had to think about remembering it. But it was happening.

I was craving to remember how I felt. I was trying to feel those amazing things that humans do, to just hold on another moment. I was living those moments, not this one. My mom's hands stroking my hair. My eyes crashing with Stefan's for the first time. Damon's lips moving with my own. It felt amazingly real.

I started feeling afraid when I stopped being able to remember. The feelings from before were gone and a feeling of irony crashed so hard over everything that it seemed to shatter and splatter everywhere in the car. In the lake. Across my skin. Everywhere. But my dad wasn't there, and his hands weren't there to hold to, and when I mouthed,"I love you", it wasn't meant for him.

When Stefan's face became visible in the divers window, I was still very conscious, but done fighting. He had saved me from this car once and a third chance for a girl like me seemed ridiculous. This was Matt's turn, he deserved it. He wouldn't fall in love with vampires. He would get married to a human and have beautiful, talented, humble children just like him. He wouldn't waste his chance.

I used my last ounce of consciousness to point towards Matt and make it clear to Stefan that I wasn't going to be saved this time. I kept waiting for him to tear my seatbelt off and grab me instead, for me to have to fight for my free will, but that was stupid of me. His eyes weren't blue.

He grabbed Matt from the car and I began to consider fighting for my life again. Maybe whatever guardian angel was bound to me would give me an extra minute of oxygen to last me until I got my seatbelt off and swam to the surface. Just maybe.

But the angel wasn't there. I looked for what seemed for a long time to me then—just a couple seconds, I suppose. No, there was definitely no one there. I didn't fight.

My body wasn't really there anymore—I didn't need it. But my mind was working. Everything was blurry, and crooked, and I wasn't thinking in words anymore, but I was conscious enough to realize what was happening.

My life was flashing before my eyes, for real this time. It was a scary feeling, because I couldn't control it—couldn't pick out the good from the bad like I had before. My emotions were flickering by so fast—innocence, love, curiosity, pain, love, lust, love, pain. It almost burned.

It only took a few milliseconds. I remember realizing that all those emotions going through me so quickly was going to be my death, not the water. My heart was slowing down from drowning, but the wall of emotions that crashed into me would cause the wounds that bled my life.

The last thing I saw was the blue of the water, the azure color that seemed so familiar. It spread warmth over me—that color. I wasn't exactly sure why until the racing of my heart gave me the energy to think one last thing.

I wish I had told Damon I love him.

Then my heart broke into two, my lungs swelled and burst, and I was dead.

Tell me what you thought,

~Molly B.