TITLE:  Horoscopes:  Lucky Stars
AUTHOR:  Thel
EMAIL:
ARCHIVE:  Drop me a line by email and I'll probably say yes.  :)
FEEDBACK:  Yeah, baby, yeah.  :D
CATEGORY:  Short stories.  Some humour, some drama, some angst.
SEASON:  From the movie on up to season seven
RATING: Gen, all the way.  PG for content.
SUMMARY: Short stories written to the theme of the horoscopes from late January.
STATUS:  Each story is complete.  The series will be continued as it comes to me.  grin
THANKS TO:  Pettygrew, as always.  She didn't get to beta these, but she probably will sometime, right Petty?!  ;)
AUTHOR'S NOTES:  This is what we term 'filler'.  Since my home computer is kablooey, I can't work on my big fic, Dreams.  This kinda leaves me dead in the water.  I'm at work at the moment and thought I'd post these fics that I worked on last month.  The original idea was that I got kind of burned out on the fandom.  I wanted to write something as a little exercise just to get back on my feet, as it were.  I copied the horoscopes for January 22nd or thereabouts from the webpage www.humorscope.com and wrote a story on the theme of each horoscope.  These are vignettes.  I don't intend to follow them up or expand them any (although I am susceptible to nagging if you find one you really, really want me to write grin).  As they stand, I've done 6 of the 12 and hopefully will get to the rest someday soon.  :)

Aries (March 21 - April 19)

Good day to put a few kumquats, some of those teensy little ears of corn, and a few Brussels sprouts in a tiny little bowl, and leave it on someone's doorstep with a tiny little note reading "Dear Big People...."

"Daniel… there's no way an entire race of people can shrink!"

"Jack, this is not necessarily the case here."

"Oh, Gulliver?  Then what do you think?"

"Colonel.  These ruins are intriguing, but not necessarily indicative of a miniature race of people."

"Teeny-tiny little buildings.  Teeny-weeny little temples.  That, under Teal'c's foot, is a itsy-bitsy horse and carriage.  Now you tell me…"

"Jack, firstly, words like teeny-tiny and itsy-bitsy should never enter your vocabulary again."  Jack looked up as the stern-faced archaeologist pointed a finger in the air meaningfully.  "Secondly, you've pointed out my exact problem with this site already."

Jack picked up his hat and reseated it on his head.  "Uh… what?"

"Teal'c is standing on a horse."

"As I said."

"Yes, you did."

"Not everyone would have noticed that."

"Well, obviously Teal'c didn't, but that's neither here nor there…"

"But I noticed."

"Yes, Jack.  Uh… Well done."

"Thank you."  Jack squared his shoulders and gave a smug look at Teal'c.  The Jaffa merely lifted an eyebrow and took one careful step sideways.  Everyone immediately looked down and focused on the crushed horse and carriage.

"See.  What did I say?"

"Yes, Jack.  And as I was saying, that is a horse and carriage."

"As I said."

"Yes."  Daniel hissed the word with a mounting sense of irritation.  "And I said that this is out of place."

"What?"  Jack looked around.

"Jack, if this was a race of miniature people with a miniature temple and who rode in miniature carriages pulled by miniature horses… well…"

Jack looked confused.  Daniel pointed downward.  Jack followed his gaze down, resting on the crushed terracotta horse and carriage.

"Ah."  Carter got it and grinned.

Jack shuffled from side to side.  He frowned as Teal'c gave a little snuff of air that could either mean that he had followed Daniel's logic or, Jack meanly hoped this was the case, he had swallowed one of the many flying insects swarming around them.

Okay… he could focus.  The horse was the key.  Stupid little terracotta horse.  Good thing it wasn't real because that would have… would have been…

"Ewww."  He looked up at Daniel, who grinned quickly.

"If this was real, then the animals and people would most likely have been real too, and that would have proved a little bit…"  Daniel made a little gesture with his fingers.

"Ewww."

"Well, yes, I suppose it would have been."

"So what do you think this is, Daniel?"  Carter, as always, was a step ahead.

"Well, it's probably something along the lines of the burial chambers of China where scale models of entire armies were buried along with the deceased, in order to provide him with an army in the afterlife."

"So this little toy village is someone's domain to rule in the afterlife?"  Jack shifted, surreptitiously readying his gun.

"Well, I suppose that is likely the case."

"And our Godzilla impression is probably not all that cool with the locals, right?"

"Ah… oh.  No, I'd think they wouldn't be very happy with us if they found us here."

"Which explains the spears."

"Yes, which explains the…"  Daniel spun around.  "What?"

"Daniel?  Carter?  Teal'c?"  Jack stepped cautiously backward, wincing as something fragile crumpled under his boot heel.  "Run!"