A/N: I was going to continue writing for my multi-chapter ana/Christian fic but I had this idea swirling around in my head for a few weeks and I just had an inspirational moment and I started writing
it and couldn't stop.
I really hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.
Just for clarification, Ana and Christian attend a prestigious arts school. Ana and Christian are both 16. Christian hasn't been seduced into the BDSM
life by Mrs Robinson.
Disclaimer: I do not own fsog or the character used. Nor do I own the songs I used in this story.
Sara Bareilles - She Used to be Mine
Lady Gaga, Bradley Cooper - Shallow
When the bell rang for lunch, Anastasia didn't rush getting up and stayed in her seat until the stampead passed. She looked around to check that everyone had gone and she closed her Art History book and got up, packing up her book and notepad. Picking up her bag she turned straight into a wall of muscle. Hands gripped her around her arms to stop her from falling and she looked down to see knuckles riddled with cuts, bruises and old scars. From there she looked up and saw the dark eyes of Christian Grey, the school bad boy slash loner. "Oh! - I'm so sorry!" Ana exclaimed, she held up her hand to push off him to stand up straight. His grey eyes shot down to her hands as she held them up and he immediatly let go of her. Too quickly. Because she stumbled again but using her desk to keep her stable. "I'm really am sorry, i wasn't looking where i was going. i thought everyone was gon-" God, shut the fuck up woman! She was rambling and she knew it. He just stared at her and smirked. Ana looked down hugging her arms to her chest.
"It's fine, honestly Anastasia" His husky voice sent shivers down her spine.
"H-how do you know my name?" She furrowed her eyebrows. Christian looked back at her confusion lacing in his face.
"Well, we are in the same homeroom, and we've shared the same classes for the past year."
Ana just gaped at him, "but no one really knows my name, I doubt anyone would really notice if I wasn't here." She looked up at the clock, noticing the time. "Look, I gotta be somewhere. I'm sorry for charging into you again." She quickly got up and left before he could open his mouth to reply.
Anastasia didn't really have friends at this school, there was people that she was friendly with and were friendly back at her but there was no one she could go to with her problems or go out for pizza and a movie with. But she couldn't really say anything to her mom, Carla because then she would be 'ungrateful'.
Ana always sneaked into the music when it was empty. She plugged her IPod into the dock and played the instrumental of her favourite song. She knew she could sing, but that was her little bit of peace she could use to let out her emotions. No one had heard her sing at school and that was how she liked it, being in her own bubble focusing on her eduction. The acoustics in the empty music room allowed her to let go without anyone hearing.
She breathed out and pressed play. The soft notes of the start of She Used to be Mine started played and she closed her eyes unaware of Grey eyes watching her from the entrance of the music room. She started singing, her raspy vocals started quiet, her voice matching with the notes of the song.
It's not simple to say
that most days i don't recognize me
that these shoes and this apron
that place and its patrons
have taken more than i gave them-
Ana loved the freedom of singing in an empty room, letting out her vunerabity through lyrics of a song. She loved how this particular song tested her range and how easily it expressed how she felt.
She's imperfect, but she tries
she is good, but she lies
she is hard on herself
she is broken and won't ask for help-
Ana smiled as she got to the big accent towards the end of the song, holding the big notes in perfect progression with the music allowing her to perfect the fermata at the end of the song.
And be scared of the life that's inside her
growing stronger each day 'til it finally reminds her
to fight just a little, to bring back the fire in her eyes
that's been gone, but used to be mine
used to mine
Anastasia breathed out and slowly opening her eyes. A creak of the old floorboard made her aware of the presence near the door, she whipped her head around, her blue eyes meeting his grey ones.
Christian POV
Christian stormed out of the councillors office not wanting to hear what a disappointment he's turning into. He walked down the corridor, everyone in his way quickly moved after see the expression on his face. Christian started skimming the faces of students of the school looking for his next victim to punch when he saw Anastasia. His eyes followed her walking quickly down the north corridor to the music room. His anger slowly dissipating and without hesitating he followed.
He silently slipped in throught the door and spotted her by the speaker. He stepped back closer to the door not wanting to be noticed just yet. He leaned against the concreate column next to the entrance, staying out of sight. Christian then heard the notes of a piano playing and then the most angelic, raspy voice. His eyes widened and he was transfixed, not being able to take his eyes of her. Christians heart felt like it was beating out of his chest. She looked so beautiful and free.
Her voice got more and more confident and strong as the song progressed. Christian wasn't familiar with the song but he was hanging onto every word she was singing. When Anastasia hit the big note at the end, Christian was in awe as the hairs on the back of his neck stood up. As his Anastasia finished off the final note with her gentle voice, he found his feet moving closer towards her. Her beautiful face suddenly faced him, shock covering her feature and quickly turning into anger at the invation of her vunerabilty. "That was beautiful," Christian complimented, "I'm not much of a Sara Bareilles fan, I don't really know any of her songs but i've never realised how real her lyrics are." After Christians admission, Anastasia's eyebrows shoot up still not saying a word. His eyes land on an impressive grand piano behind her, he nods his head towards her, "Do you know Shallow?" Christian starts walking past Anastasia towards the piano, he inhales the sweet smell of her as he walk past. He stops at the pitch black instrument, running his hand over the shiney surface, he expertly lifts the top of the piano and sits on the seat. Christian looks over at Ana to see she is watching him with annoyance and with slight interest, "Well?" She nods slowly. Christian reciprocates the movement and opens up the lid to the keys. He closes his eyes and brushes his sleder fingers over the keys.
Ana POV
He wants to duet? Of course he can play piano. With annoyance still flooding in her vains, Ana was at a loss when he called her beautiful. Well he called the song beautiful, don't get too ahead of yourself. When Christian was talking about the song, Ana couldn't help shooting her brows up at his confession. Not really listening to what he was saying, Ana was trying to taim her thumping heart, Christian walked past her, not touching her but close enough so that Ana could feel the heat coming off him. The sound of him inhaling sharply did nothing to calm her heart. Ana turned around, keeping her eyes trained on him, landing on his obviously muscular back. She looked up and met his eyes, still expecting an answer to his question, "Well?" He proded, I nod back at him still not believing he's serious. His long fingers open up the lid and brushes against the keys before starting to play. When Christian starts singing, she loses her breathe. He's got a gorgeous voice. Tears threaten to emerge but she refrains them from falling. Releasing a shuddery breath, she starts walking towards him, his eyes meet hers again and they stare. Ana sits next to him on the piano stool breaking the eye contact watching his fingers move effortlessly across the keys.
-I'm falling
in all the good time i find myself
longing, for change
and in the bad times i fear myself
Shit, he's waiting for me to join. He meets Ana's eyes and nods down at her for her cue. She breathes out and close her eyes.
Tell me something, boy
aren't you tired tryin to fill that void?
or do you need more?
ain't it hard keeping it so hardcore
Ana opens her eyes to find grey ones staring back at her, he offers her a small smile as she continue on. Ana looks away concentrating on the big notes, hoping that she doesn't screw this up infront of this incredibly beautiful man. Don't fucking screw me over now throat.
Im off the deep end, watch as i dive in
i'll never meet the ground
crash through the surface, where the can't hurt us
we're far from the shallow now
Both of their voices mince together for the chorus and they perfectly contrast each others vocals. They both sing the last notes of the song gazing into each others eyes. He plays the last few notes and slowly slides his fingers onto his lap. Christian bows his head, staring into his lap. This time Ana can't keep quiet. "I've never done that before." She spoke quietly, her voice croaky from singing but she knew he heard her. Christian turned his head, catching her gaze once again.
"Done what?" His brows furrowed.
"Sing with anybody. Sing in front of anyone," Now Ana was the one to look down in her lap. "My dad encouraged me to sing, even though i was only a baby, but when he died, my mom would tell me stories about how me and him would put on concerts for my mom," She chuckled, rubbing at the stray tear, "but now that he's gone, my mom doesn't approve of the career choice. 'It doesn't put food on the table, it doesn't pay the bills, and it didn't stop him from dying!' That's what my mom said the last time I wanted to pursue a singing career. That was last year." Oh god Steele! Why did you just tell him all that? Ana just let out a shuddered breathe, still staring at her knotted fingers.
One large, warm hand covered both of her cold, knotted hands. He squeezed them once before sliding a bit closer to her. "You have a gift Anastasia. It deserves to be heard." Christians free hand came up to tilt her chin up and stared deep into her innocent, ocean blues, "Thankyou." His gentle voice murmured to her. He leaned down, and ever so softly kissed her cheek and then he stood up, walking towards the exit.
"It's Ana, by the way. I prefer Ana," She spoke quickly before he left. Christian paused in the doorway looking at her.
"Ana. Ana. AnAA," He repeated, as if testing the word out on his tongue. Oh God, you can say my name all day and i'll never get bored of you saying it. "No, I don't think so," he turned again, opening the door and paused, "I would," Christian told her quietly.
"You would what?" Ana frowned, utterly confused by his comment.
"I would notice." He continued, looking over his shoulder at her, "you said earlier that no once will notice if you wasn't here. I would." And with that, Christian walks out, talking Ana's heart with him.
Ana POV
It's been two days, three hours and forty five minutes since that lunch period with Christian and Ana still hasn't built up the courage to go back in there. What was her safe haven has turned into the place where she finds herself on edge, even in lesson time where Ana is suppose to be writing sheet music, she's constantly staring at the shiny, black piano. Fuck you Grey. Fuck you for taking away my bubble. But Ana isn't really pissed at Christian but rather at herself for letting him wriggle his way into her heart. She just can't stop thinking about those grey eyes that have invaded her dreams. Waking up in a sheen of sweat, still able to feel his hands on her body.
Still daydreaming about that boy, Ana hasn't noticed the commotion that is occurring down the hall in the same direction she's walking towards. She furrows her eyebrows, walking towards the massive crowd that's forming. She manages to manoeuvre her small body to the front of the crowd just in time to see Christian punch the quarterback of our schools football team, Jack Hyde. So that's how he gets those cuts.
Ana wasn't some naïve girl, playing ignorant to the schools gossip, but who hasn't heard of the school loner getting into fights nearly everyday. But today, after what happened, she couldn't stand by. "Christian!" She shouted at him. But all that did what make him lose his focus and end up with an uppercut to the jaw, courtesy of the jock. They continue to scrap until Ana has had enough of them killing each other. Well, if no one else is going to stop it. Ana walks up to them both, trying to pry them apart, Jack's hand around Christians neck rears back and hitting me across the face.
Ana drops to the floor holding her cheek. She looks up seeing both the boys staring at her. Jack's eyes full of regret then looks around seeing everyone's disapproving stare, and then he runs off out the main entrance. Charming. Chivalry is obviously dead. Especially after smacking the fuck out of a girl's cheek. After turning her eyes off Jack's retreating figure, Ana looks up at Christian. His eyes filling with concern, sorrow and rage? I'm the one that just got hit infront of the whole school and he's mad?
"Ana," Christian rushes by her side, helping her up off the laminated floor, "are you okay?" He asks, dragging his thumb over her bruising cheek.
Ana just look around seeing everyone's eyes flicker between her and Christian. Christian then notices everyone and take Ana by the waist, escorting her to the music room.
After entering, Ana walks out of Christian's arm and walks over to the piano and leans against it, her cheek throbbing from the pain. "Ana," His voice full of pain, pulls her attention to him. Christian, seeing you this broken is worse than the pain in my cheek. "Ana, ar- are you okay. Seriously now, no bullshitting or pussyfooting around. Are you okay?" His expression tell me not to lie to him. Ana breathes out and walks over to where Christian is standing. She looks up to him craning her neck. "I'm okay, it was just a slap. I'm fine." She whispers out the last part. Christian makes a face of disgust.
"Just a slap, Ana! You could've seriously been injured! And it would've been my fault!" His booming voice making her flinch, seeing this, his face softens, "I'm so, so sorry Anastasia." He grabs her hand. Ana stares at their clasped hands, turning them over to assess the damage done to his knuckles.
"Christian," She says softly, "I'm going to clean this for you. Wait here." She turns and disappears out of the room before he could protest. She's comes back him, holding a first aid kit under her arm. "Sit." She points to the piano stool. Christian starts shaking his head, backing away. Ana just looks at him, "Sit!" She says with a don't fuck with me right now, Grey look on her face. Christian walks over to the stool with a smirk threatening to break free. She holds his hand and starts applying ointments to his broken skin. "So," She trailed off, breaking the silence between them. Ana can feel Christian staring at her but she refuses to look back at him, "are you going to tell me what that was all about?"
Christian looks away, a frown crossing his face, "It was nothing." Ana wasn't buying it. She rolled her eyes at him, Christian just started at her, his eyes darkening and a smirk replacing his frown.
"Really," Ana said sarcastically, "you really expected me to believe that it was nothing. I got a battle wound now you know, I think I deserve a bit of insight." Christian huffed and looks down at their clasped hands.
"He was talking smack about you," he looked up seeing Ana's shocked face, "he was talking about how prudish you are, walking around teasing him and everything. I- I just couldn't handle it." Christian looks up into Ana's eyes.
"So that's why he keeps staring at me when I walk past him!" Her mouth gaping open, "Urgh, the prick deserved what he got then," Ana looked down continuing to clean Christian's cuts. Ana suddenly felt his thumb of free hand gently caressing her cheek, she looked up to see he was gazing at her. "Why are you doing this to yourself, Christian?" It was clear to her that Christian had issues, judging by all the scars and bruises from his face and knuckles. Ana gently squeezes his hand not letting go, "you know you can tell me right? I don't exactly have any friends I could go blabbing to." She tried laughing it off but suddenly feeling how true it is.
He just stared at her, internally debating whether to tell her or not. But he knew, he knew he could trust her.
He huffed out, "I was adopted when I was four but before that my life-" He looks up, taking a deep breath "-my life wasn't easy. Because of what happened to me, I have Haphephobia," seeing Ana's confused face, he clarified, "fear of being touched." He sighed. "I can't tell you all of it now. Not that I don't want to but I just can't."
Anastasia just started at him, lifting her other hand and gripping Christian's free one and lifting both of them up to her mouth and kissing his knuckles, "Thankyou. For telling me," She suddenly frowned, "forgive me Christian, but I don't understand what it has to do with you fighting all the time." She told him quietly pulling her hands away but Christian
gripped them again holding them back in his lap. Christian started chuckling, red spots tinting at his cheeks. Is he embarrassed?
"I'm sixteen, Anastasia. I've got all these girls throwing themselves at me and I just can't bare it! How fucked up does that make me?" He barks out a frustrated laugh.
Ohhh! My subconscious starts shaking her head at me. "You let me touch you." Ana's trailed off. Christian just started at her, not knowing what to say. "You're not fucked up Christian," She continues, "Your bodies coping with a trauma, I don't know the details of your past but that's exactly the past. It wont feel like this forever, hopefully with the right help, you can get better." She placed her palm on his cheeky whilst she spoke with certainty and maturity.
Christian started at her in awe. "You said you don't have many friends-"
"Ah ah, I said I don't have any friends here" She wagged her finger at him grinning.
He chuckled at her, he took her had from his cheek and laced his finger with hers, "Okay, you said you don't have any friends. That's not true." He looked to Anastasia's confused face, "You have me." He finished smiling down at her. Ana's face broke into a Cheshire grin as she hugged his forearm to her chest, he laid his cheek to her head and embraced until the overhead speaker announced: "Christian Grey to the principles office."
"Huh. I was wondering how long it was going to take them to find out about that." Christian mumbled into her hair. Ana, realising what Christian just said, burst out laughing with Christian joining in.
1 Month Later
"So how does it feel to be seventeen?" Ana grinned up at Christian. They were both lying on Christians bed at his family home in Bellevue watching The X Files on his MacBook Pro. His birthday party winded down hours ago but neither of them wanted to sleep.
Christian grinned at her, "I feel exactly the same as I did yesterday." Ana laughed along with him.
"Well at least I'll get to find out next month. Urgh I hate being younger than you," she nudged him hard enough so he nearly fell off his bed which made Ana laugh even
harder. Christian crawled back over next to her, his face bright red from laughing.
"Ana be quiet, its three am for fucks sake," but neither of them quietened down. After a solid two minutes of seized giggling, Christian got serious, "Thankyou for
coming tonight, Ana. It honestly meant the world to me and I know it meant to the world to my mother. She was just dying to meet the girl that tamed me." Ana
blushed and grinned at him, she cracked an imaginary whip. Christian grinned down at her, shook his head and gave her the eye.
"What?" Ana asked, after noticing the look in his eye, "No," she pointed her finger up to his face, "No! Don't you da-" before she could move away from him, Christian grabbed her around the waist and straddled her waist, tickling her relentlessly. "Stop! Christian!"
She managed to buck him off by lifting his knee from one side of her waist and tilting him off the bed, "Oh shit-" for leverage, Christian grabbed onto Ana and they both rolled onto the hard floor, Christian rolled in a way so she landed on top of him, both of them laughing so hard they didn't realise Ana's hands her on Christians chest.
In the time that Ana and Christian became best friends, Christian told her everything that happened to him before he was adopted. Ana no longer saw him as the
angry guy that made everyone quiver in fear of getting a fist to the face but now as the brave man that survived an horrific childhood and still came out on top. Well in
this situation it was Ana. By the time they both realised, Ana was apologising pushing herself off him. "Oh god, I'm so sorry Christian! I didn't realis-"
"No. Wait," Christian held Ana's hands on his chest, not wanting her to move, "Ana!" He gaped up at her, his eyes widening.
"What? Christian what is it?" Concern laced her voice. Christian rubbed her hands and let go. Ana kept her hands on both sides of his chest.
"Ana, It's not burning. There's no darkness. No fear," Tears were filling his eyes, "Oh Ana, I never thought this would ever happen." He pressed the heals of his hands
into his eyes.
"Hey," Ana hushed him, in her sweet, quiet voice. She pulled his hands from his face to find that he was quietly crying, "Hey, its okay. Come here Christian." Ana pulled
on his hands so he sat up, with her, her knees straddling both sides of his hips. Ana wrapped her arms around his neck, Christian quickly reciprocated the embrace,
wrapping his arms tightly around her waist. He was sniffling in the crook of her neck. Oh my fifty. My beautiful fifty. Their embrace was more intimate than before
tonight. She rubbed her and across his back in comfort. He groaned from the contact. "I'm sorry," Ana whispered in his ear. Thinking it was his phobia.
"No, keep doing that please. It feels good." And so she did. His breathing became heavier and thicker. She pulled her hand up to his head, running her fingers through
his hair, lightly scratching him with her nails.
"Oh Ana, you need to stop that," He growled, his voice laced with need.
"Why, Christian." She did it again. Her heartbeat speeding up and the want for him swelled around her body.
In the past month, Ana developed feeling for her best friend but knowing his issues with trust and touch, she kept it to herself. Keeping it her own little secret hoping
it would go away. They didn't. They only intensified.
Christian pulled his head back to look her in the eyes, "Because," he said slowly, "if you keep doing that, I wont be able to control myself." His Grey eyes darkening.
Ana slowly grinned down at him through hooded eyes. "Well, Mr Grey," Ana purred, "what makes you think I want you to control yourself?" A sexy growl arose from the
back of his throat. Before she knew it, Christian had them flipped so he was lying above her, him laying in between her legs. His stiff member pushing against her
leggings. "Ana, what is this?" Christian stared deep into her eyes as his hand came up stroking her hair of her face, caressing his hand down her face.
"Isn't it obvious, Christian? I want you." I love you. Ana gazed up at him, not blinking. She sighed, stroking his cheek moving her hand around the back of his neck. Christian groaned lightly, closing his eyes. Before she could say what she wanted to say, Christian opened his eyes and looked at his Ana.
"Anastasia," Christian sighed. Ana closed her eyes. Here it comes. The rejection. "I love you." He whispered it, ever so gently into her ear. Her eyes shot open, mouth
gaping. Ana was speechless. Christian obviously thinking the worst leaned back onto his knees looking defeated. "It's- Its okay if you don't feel the same." Hurt glazed over his eyes and he went to stand up. Ana was quicker though, pulling at his t-shirt so he fell back down onto his
place between her legs. She grasped his face between her hands.
"Christian Grey, for a smart man, you can be quite stupid sometimes," she grinned up to him. Her face aching from all the smiling. His brows furrowed, making a 'v',
Ana stretched out her hand smoothing it out, "I love you. So. Much." She once again, curled around his neck pulling his head down so their faces were inches apart.
"Ana. My Ana." He breathed, Christian gave Ana her favourite dimple-popping smile as their lips met. His hand held the side of her head whilst the other stayed holding himself up. The kiss started off small, but grew more intense as Ana
wrapped her legs around him pressing herself into him, both of them groaning at the contact. Christian suddenly picked her up, like she weighed nothing, making her
squeal and laugh into his mouth. He gently laid her down on his bed without breaking contact with her. "Touch me, baby. I want you to touch me." He growled into her
mouth. Not having to be told twice, Ana's hands gently came down to stroke his chest. Slowly, she got the hem of his t-shirt, pulling it up. He understood what she
was trying to do as he sat up, releasing her lips, both breathing heavily. He pulled his shirt over his head and immediately kissed her again. Ana could now feel his
chest with no barriers.
"Christian, is this okay?" She moaned into his mouth.
"Yes, baby. It feels so good" Having the confirmation she needs, she used as much strength as she could to flip them over so she was on top, straddling him once again.
Christian grinned into her mouth, as did she. Ana felt his hands drag from her thighs and around to her ass, with this, she ground into him causing him to let out a loud
groan. "Baby, don't do that. I wont last long if you keep doing that." Ana only smiled at him and she grinded into him again.
Christian pulled up her shirt, wanting to feel her beautiful, soft skin against his. Once he threw it on the floor, he wrapped his arms around his girl. His heart swelling
at the feel of her against him.
He flipped them over so Ana was under him. Christian suddenly broke off the kiss. "Wha- What are you doing?" Ana tried pulling him back down again but he only held onto her small hands into his chest, staring down at her in awe.
"Anastasia," He groaned, trying to catch his breath, "you should know before we do anything, I haven't been with anyone else." His cheeks reddened at his confession.
Ana just stared up at him. "Wait. Seriously?" Ana couldn't believe it. How is he still a virgin? Oh, his touch issues. The realisation dawned on her. She smiled sweetly at
him. "Christian, its okay. I haven't been with anyone else either," she freed one of her hands caressing his cheek. His eyes closed at the contact. "It will be a night of firsts
for both of us."
"I love you," He spoke with such sincerity, she felt a tear coming up but she blinked it away. He leant down reconnecting their kiss.
A/N: Thankyou so much for reading. I might actually continue with this story or I might just add to it and keep it as a oneshot. Let me know your thoughts and
opinions. Once again, I really hope you've enjoyed reading it as much as ive enjoyed writing it.
Also let me know if you have ideas for more Ana/Christian oneshots, i'd love to hear what ideas you guys come up with.