Jess put down the book he'd picked up at the gas station and looked at his watch. Been gone about five hours already; the sun was beginning to stretch itself across the horizon, nestling into the earth to rest. Jess ran his finger through his hair, breathing deeply through his nose. What the hell had the book been about? He didn't know.

Jess let out a shaky, exhausted breath, the strong scent of Menthols surrounding his senses. Rory would be mad he was smoking again. He sighed, eying his phone with disdain. He didn't want to turn it on.

Nothing good could come from it, he knew. He would have dozens of missed calls and texts from Rory, probably Luke and Liz. Ms. Leon for not showing up at group tonight. Jess rolled his eyes; God he couldn't think of anything worse than sitting in a circle with those idiots.

Ultimately though, Jess knew he needed to turn his phone on and deal with everything. He leant back against the curb and surveyed the land around him.

Jess had no idea where he was.

Well, he had a loose idea. He saw street signs. He was in another town. He just wasn't sure which one, though some things looked vaguely familiar. Jess wondered if he'd ever been there before or passed it on the bus. So great was his desire to burn off the adrenaline in his body (and to identify a place that would sell him cigarettes) that he had merely departed from Stars Hollow in a blind fury.

If you'd asked him, Jess wouldn't be able to recall what direction he'd gone. He wouldn't be able to remember what bus he hopped on. He'd just needed to get away, and quickly. The last thing Jess wanted was to burn everything in his wake, least of all Rory; he knew his anger was capable of it.

Groaning, Jess grabbed his cell and regarded it with scrutiny, the way one might look over a grocery bill to make sure they hadn't been charged for two cucumbers. He hung his head, dangling the phone from his fingers.

He scowled as he pressed the ON button, waiting for it to come to life.

Earlier, in Stars Hollow.

The Gilmore House

Lorelai watched helplessly as Rory paced back and forth throughout the house.

She was trying to distract them with TV, but Rory could not sit still. After the initial impact of the outburst, Lorelai had led a teary Rory back to the house, shaking her head at Luke. Since then, they'd had one phone call, in which Luke promised to let her know if he heard from Jess. Lorelai had had her cell phone close to her side ever since.

"Rory, honey. The floor."

"Huh?" Rory asked, lost in her thoughts. She'd spent the last three hours trying to make sense of things but came up flat. She hated that Jess was hurting and she couldn't help. And she hated that she didn't know where he was or what he was doing.

"I said, the floor. You're hurting the floor and giving mommy a leg cramp just watching you."

"It's not funny," Rory frowned, walking over to where her mom was positioned on the couch.

"I'm sorry, I'm not trying to be funny," Lorelai sighed, offering a sympathetic smile. "I'm just worried about you. Why don't you sit?"

"I can't sit, if I sit, I'll cry," Rory sighed, fidgeting back and forth.

"Well, we have ice cream for that," Lorelai insisted, patting the space next to her. Rory lamented and sat next to her, sinking deep into the sofa cushions.

"Why won't he turn his phone on?" Rory asked the wall.

"He needs space, babe," Lorelai reassured her, pulling Rory closer into a side hug. "Imagine how you'd feel if I kicked you out and just showed up out of the blue."

"What is she even doing here," Rory hissed, crossing her arms in agitation. Lorelai frowned and held her thoughts to herself. She wasn't happy about it either, but Liz was Jess's mom. She did have a right to see him, even if it felt like she shouldn't.

"She kicks him out. Doesn't speak to him for months, and then just shows up? For what?"

Lorelai bit her lip. She had an idea. Luke is so stupid.

"Maybe she missed him," Lorelai offered half-heartedly.

"She called him earlier that day," Rory remembered suddenly. "She called maybe an hour before we got off the bus. I guess she called to say she was in Stars Hollow."

"Probably," Lorelai agreed.

The doorbell rang suddenly, and the two exchanged a look. Rory scrambled to her feet and ran to the door, ripping it open in anticipation. She frowned when she saw the woman who was apparently Jess's mom looking at her, an awkward-looking Luke hovering closely behind her. Lorelai came up behind Rory.

"Oh. Hey," She said casually, nudging Rory to the side.

"Hi, you must be Lorelai," the blonde woman said sheepishly, offering two cups of coffee to the women in front of her. "A peace offering."

Lorelai forced a smile and graciously accepted the cups, handing one to Rory.

"Do you guys want to come in?" Lorelai asked softly, locking eyes with Luke. He looked like he felt guilty. Good, he should.

Lorelai took a step back to let the Danes siblings enter, bumping into Rory who seemed transfixed on Liz. Lorelai offered an uncomfortable smile as they all stood in the foyer, awkward.

"Did you guys eat yet?" Luke asked, twisting his hands and surveying the women around him.

"Food sounds great," Liz chirped. Looking between Lorelai and Rory - neither of whom seemed particularly overjoyed to see her there - Liz put her hand on Luke's forearm. "Why don't you guide me to the kitchen or something?"

Lorelai offered a tight smile before Rory grabbed her by the arm and pulled her toward the closed front door.

Forty-three missed notifications. 13 from Luke, 5 from Liz, 1 from Ms. Leon, 1 from Lorelai - Huh - and 23 from Rory. Jess felt like dirt as the text messages from Rory poured in, guiding him on her panic attack from hours prior. Something in him was both grateful and deeply unsettled for the amount of blinking notices on his device; he wondered briefly if this is what it felt like to feel missed.

Jess knew he had every right to be pissed, mad, annoyed at the situation. No sane person could have expected him to receive Liz with a warm welcome, throwing his arms open for a sappy hug and cryfest. And yet, guilt tugged at Jess's throat like a collar that was too tight; he knew he hadn't handled it as well as he might have.

But God damn it, what was Liz doing here?

There was no way she had magically decided that she missed him. She hadn't bothered so much as to throw up a smoke signal in the last seven months. In all of his time to think and overthink, Jess had only come up with one conclusion: somebody had invited her.

He all but growled thinking of the only logical possibility, given that Lorelai had no way of getting in touch with her and Rory wouldn't dare. It had to be Luke.

But why would Luke call her? Didn't he know what a fucking shiv to the side that was?

And for what? What good could Liz possibly do? She should be the last person to talk to Jess about making something of himself, if that was where Luke was going with this. All she did was numb herself because she couldn't deal with the fact that she already had failed. Jess didn't numb himself; in fact, he was very meticulous in setting himself up not to fail at all.

Sure, maybe Jess was being stubborn about the school thing. But it was his life to screw up or not; it was his decision, damn it! He knew he was intelligent, but he didn't believe in pipe dreams. Would it be, in theory, amazing to be published? Sure, but there was no guarantee anyone would pick up the garbage that came out of his pen. And he wasn't some wet dream for a teacher who wanted to flex his connections and try his hand at being an agent.

Salutatorian? Jessica would castrate him before she let him take what she had clearly worked so hard for but which had come effortlessly to him. And college? He had no need for it. He wasn't going to work around random requirements for a piece of paper that communicated his values to others; he didn't want to live off of anyone else's deadlines. He wanted to travel, to finish paying off the car he'd secretly been saving for, to surprise Rory at her dorm. Maybe see her smile when he eventually got an apartment nearby wherever she ended up.

Jess breathed deeply and tossed his cigarette on the concrete, scraping it out with his toe. He propped himself against the curb he was leaning on, popping something in his shoulder.

Admittedly, Jess knew he wouldn't get any real answers in this nameless town. But he'd rather shoot himself than listen to his mother's voice, talking to him as if she hadn't thrown him on his ass, encouraging him as if she hadn't failed at everything involving him.

Jess groaned and regretted stubbing out his cigarette; he fumbled for the pack, taking out another and lighting it. Now that he had burned out of his anger, he was exhausted. As he clicked through the missed calls and re-read Rory's texts, guilt constricted itself around his throat, like a collar that was just too tight.

The last text was time stamped for two hours prior - undoubtedly she had decided to give him space.

Jess sighed, looking around. He needed to figure out where the hell he was. Something told him that he should at the very least text Rory to let her know he hadn't left the state, but another voice suggested this whole deal was in-person worthy. He tucked his phone in his back pocket; the gas station he'd bought cigarettes at wasn't that far away. He took off in that direction.

The Gilmore House

"Um, ouch, that's my arm!" Lorelai protested as Rory let her arm go.

"What are you doing, inviting them inside?" Rory whispered incredulously, gesturing pointedly at the kitchen.

"What was I supposed to do, slam the door in their faces?" Lorelai shot back exasperated.

"I don't know, not invite them in for dinner! I'm a mess right now, mom! What if Jess calls? How is he going to feel that his mom is buddy-buddy with mine in the kitchen?"

"Sweetie, we're all stressed out over this, but I don't think treating Luke like crud because we're stranger-dangering Jess's mom is fair."

Rory sighed, knowing Lorelai was right.

"Maybe it'll do us all some good to sit and talk things out while we wait to hear from Jess," Lorelai hedged, putting her arm around her daughter. Rory sighed again, nodded, and allowed herself to be guided into the other room.

"Hey," Lorelai said with a nervous chuckle. Rory did her best to plaster a smile on her face, but she didn't know how successful it was coming out. Judging by the collective stare, she imagined it looked more like the fake grin you offered somebody who had gotten you a horrible gift.

Luke cleared his throat.

"Who's down for pasta?"

"Yum. Rory, pasta," Lorelai tried, nudging her daughter's shoulder.

"Uh, sure, thanks Luke," Rory mumbled, shrugging out of Lorelai's arms to sit at the far end of the table. Lorelai took her own seat between Liz and Rory, tapping impatiently on the wood. She looked between all parties, sighing. Lorelai briefly considered whether she'd rather be at Friday Night dinners than at this table right now.

Jess, you better call soon, you punk.

I posted a chapter after piece mealing together different versions of what I wrote for this back in 2019, but ultimately hated it and deleted it. Two years later, here is chapter 6, one I feel okay about. I hope you enjoy it. Thanks for any reviews - they've been so sweet over the years, and they have directly contributed to me returning to this old story.