Fixing Everything By Breaking Some Things
Summary: Engineering is hard to do. Sometimes, you don't know what you're doing wrong, and sometimes you fix something even though you didn't mean to. Watch Ron Weasley struggle to engineer a better life for himself, his friends, and the Wizarding world as he breaks some other things along the way. Self Insert Ron Weasley.
Chapter 1: The Five Stages Of Grief
DENIAL AND ANGER
I don't know how I ended up here. I have memories of being a student pursuing my master's degree, with a family, friends and a happy life. I know what I was doing last night, out drinking with my friends, having a good ol' time. It was just an ordinary life, nothing extraordinary, nothing too bad.
So you can imagine my surprise when I woke up in a room that was definitely not my house, and in a bed (I had a mattress on the floor, beds are expensive), with much paler skin and freckles on my arm. I don't have freckles, and I know I most certainly do not have red hair.
Also, I hate orange.
This whole room was decked in orange, which made me shudder. I stared at the wall, full of moving players on their broomsticks.
"Wait" I said out loud to myself, looking up at the ceiling.
'CHUDLEY CANNONS'
"No" I said to myself, closing my eyes, willing myself back into sleep. Five minutes of shut eye later, I opened my eyes again.
'CHUDLEY CANNONS'
"NO" I said, louder this time.
And then, I heard it. A bang on the pipes, and a low moan. It sounded 'ghoulish'
"NO. NO. NO. " I shouted in anger. "NOT THIS, PLEASE NOT THIS"
Maybe shouting repeatedly would have sent me back to my original body and my original life, but all it did was cause a commotion downstairs.
Of course, knowing where I was now, this wasn't just a commotion, this was a loud commotion, accompanied by the screaming of several people, and then a thud. Someone was coming up the staircase.
"No" I said again, the force leaving my voice, almost resigned to this dream. "I have a good life, I have things I'd like to do, take me back now please"
I don't know who I was speaking to, but I sure hoped they were listening.
"Please, look, I will stop looking at porn online, I swear, just send me back to where I came from, okay? I'll stop looking at porn, even the weird shit, just- please, let me go back, please"
The thuds got louder, they were almost upstairs now.
Standing at the door was a plump looking woman with flaming red hair. She had an old face, wrinkles, and tired eyes, but they didn't hide the kindness in them, and the concern.
"Ron" she said to me. "Are you okay?"
I just nodded, not sure if I wanted to say anything. Maybe if I didn't say a word, I would go back to where I came from.
"You look pale" she said to me, coming closer, which made me pull back. She grimaced at that.
"Are you okay dear?" she asked me, bringing her wrist to my forehead. "You don't seem to have a fever, we were concerned when you did not come downstairs"
I didn't say anything, sticking to the 'don't get involved, get sent back' theory.
"Would you like to sleep in?" she asked me.
I nodded.
She smiled. "You don't have to say anything Ron, just sleep in, we'll see you at lunch, okay?" she said to me. She then kissed my forehead and left.
I kept staring at the ceiling, with the bright orange 'Chudley Cannons' poster on top.
As I heard the thudding on the staircase get fainter, I thought about where I was.
I was not Ron Weasley, this was not who I was, this was probably a dream.
I'm not even a psychology student, I know engineering, but I am a big Christopher Nolan fan. I must have seen Inception a million times, it was only one of my favorite movies.
There was no calendar in the room, so I did not know what day it was, and so I did not know how old I was. I have read Harry Potter several times of course, but not anytime recently, I was a child. There are plenty of things I did not remember still, but I did know how to wake up from a dream.
"A kick" I said to myself. Triumphant. I got out of the bed and marched downstairs to the bathroom.
"Okay" I said to myself as I moved past a very puzzled looking people, their expressions identical to their faces. I went straight into the bathroom, a grin on my face. All I had to do was fall backwards into a tub of water, and I was going to wake up.
"Alright" I said, not bothering to take my pajamas off as I stood in the tub.
I stood for a minute, hoping the water would start flowing by itself.
"You're silly" I said to myself again, "You need to turn on the knob"
There was just one problem, there was no knob.
There was no knob.
"Where's the knob?"
I stood gaping at the wall and the showerhead for a whole five minutes.
"WHERE. IS. THE. FUCKING. KNOB" I shouted.
I don't know why, but it felt like the house had gotten deathly quiet again. There was a moment, maybe two, and then a loud clang, banging echoing throughout the house.
"RONALD WEASLEY"
I grit my teeth. If a knob wouldn't do it, a chair would. I would fall off a chair and wake up, and go on with my real life, enough of this nonsense.
I stormed out of the bathroom, running past a tall, red haired, bespectacled man who seemed to say "Ron you have to ask-" as I made my way downstairs towards the kitchen, looking for a chair.
"YOUNG MAN", it was the kind, plump woman again, moving towards me with purpose in her steps, of course her face was red, and her brows were furrowed. "THAT SORT OF LANGUAGE IS NOT PERMITTED-"
"GET OFF" I said to her as I rushed towards a chair.
"AHA" I shouted, triumphantly. "A CHAIR, A BLOODY CHAIR"
At this point, my behavior seemed to have startled the lady into silence, as she just watched me climb the chair and cross my arms together.
"Ron, what are you doing?"
This was a new voice, I turned to look, and this was an old man. He had an equally kind look about him, but he was thinner and wore glasses.
"GOODBYE RECEDING HAIRLINE" I said to him. "I'm out of here, peace". I turned around, and closed my eyes, and fell.
-x-
BARGAINING
I opened my eyes, ready to wake up from easily the weirdest dream I have ever had, but I was still looking at the ceiling.
It still was orange, and garish. It still said 'CHUDLEY CANNONS'.
I clenched my fist.
"I'm worried about him Arthur"
I closed my eyes again.
"I am too Mollywobbles, but I don't really know what has brought this on"
"Do you think it is sadness? Is he sad about something?"
"Well, we did tell him that we couldn't get him that broomstick" the man said. "Do you think that's what it is?"
"We cannot afford a broomstick love" the woman said, quickly. "And if we get him a broomstick for christhmas, all the other kids will want broomsticks too"
"I could ask Perkins for a loan, he has offered it to me several times, we can buy a broomstick for him with that for his eleventh birthday"
"I don't know Arthur, I don't want Ginny throwing herself off a chair before screaming expletives" she told him. "And Merlin knows what Fred or George would do to get theirs, can you even imagine that?"
There was a moment of silence. The man, Arthur seemed like he was thinking.
"Do we even know it was the broomstick?" Molly asked him. "Ron didn't really seem to complain about that very much"
They went on for a while, but I tuned out. I just continued to stare at the ceiling, tears rolling down my cheeks. I hadn't cried since my dog died when I was eighteen. This would be the first time in six years.
I had had a hard life, not in terms of my upbringing, but in terms of dealing with mental health. There had been years where I'd thought I wasn't going to be anything in this world. It was thanks to my parents and my friends that I managed to regain my self confidence back, and now, they were gone, and I was stuck. Stuck in a world where I was apparently an almost eleven-year-old child. At least I would be in three months.
Oh, and apparently magic was real now. Great. Just great.
I continued staring, promising to be even better than I was being lately. No more drinking, no more smoking, no anything. I closed my eyes, and opened them again, only to see the poster again.
"-but it is so unlike him, Ron doesn't show his sadness like this" Mollywobbles told Arthur. "And what on earth was he planning to achieve by falling backwards off a chair?"
"Yes" Arthur said, I thought maybe he was nodding, I didn't dare look. "And why did he call me receding hairline?"
"Well-" Molly didn't seem to know what to say.
I sniffled, which caused an end to all conversation.
"Ron" Molly said to me, she had a relieved expression about her face. "Honey, why are you crying?"
"I'm sorry" I said to her, surprised by how hard it was to get the words out, and facing the idea that there might be no escape from this nightmare.
"Oh, you poor dear" Molly said, deciding to join me in crying as she kissed me repeatedly on the forehead.
They fawned over me for five minutes, before I managed to assure them that I just wanted to sleep some more.
"We'll get you that broomstick Ron" Molly said to me. "I promise you"
As I heard the footsteps fade away for the second time, I looked up at the bright orange poster.
I was stuck here.
-x-
DEPRESSION
I spent the next few days mostly in my room, and mostly silent. I'd go downstairs when called, eat breakfast when told, eat lunch and supper when told, and go back to bed, when told.
I would stare out the window sometimes and watch my brothers and sister play games with each other in the snow.
Whatever Molly and Arthur had understood about my situation, they seemed to have let the other kids know, because they all stayed away from me.
I would hear Arthur and Molly sometimes at night, talking about rearranging finances so that they could get me a broomstick. I didn't want a bloody broomstick, I wanted to go home.
Every night I would sleep, hoping that I would wake up back in my room with my laptop open and music playing, and every morning I'd wake up to the same old orange poster, and the same disappointment.
Eventually, I found the treehouse. I noticed Molly looking at me kindly, encouraging me to go out more often, and so I decided to climb the treehouse. Fred, George, Ginny and Percy (my siblings in this world) knew to leave me alone. I'd stare at the snowy expanse beyond the house, watch as the sun would set, and go back to sleep, hoping to wake from my nightmare.
The night before christmas, as I prepared to close my eyes, I heard knocking on the door. I hadn't heard footsteps this time.
"Ron" It was Percy. "Can I come in?"
"Yeah" I said, shakily.
Percy walked in and sat at the foot of my bed.
"The others, the twins and Ginny I mean, are worried about you, and so am I" he said to me.
I nodded.
"You weren't like this three days ago" he told me. "You were better, you smiled, and you talked. We just want to know what happened"
I didn't say anything.
"Mum and dad think it is the broomstick, but I'm not sure it is, and I don't think they are very sure either" he told me. "You wouldn't be this way for a broomstick, you're a better person than that."
For some reason, I teared up again. I knew it wasn't about the broomstick. I wanted to go home, and this wasn't my home. As far as I knew, this wasn't even real.
"You ever feel out of place Percy?" I asked him.
Percy snorted. "You're asking me that?" he said to me. "I think you and everyone else knows that I don't belong here" he told me.
I waited for him to go on.
"Oh, come on. I love you guys, but I don't know if I am loved back. Fred and George constantly make jokes about me in school, and I know that I'm going to be made Prefect, it is going to make things harder for me when I go back"
I just continued staring at him.
"I don't suppose you'll understand, I just wish people understood me more, you know" he told me, honestly.
"Perce" I said to him. "Fred and George are idiots"
Percy grinned at that, and I guess what they say about smiles being infectious is true because I soon found myself smiling, despite myself.
"But they love you" I told him. I remembered the books, they were upset about his falling out with the family, everyone was. "They might make fun of you, but it comes with being part of the family. You belong" I told him. "Trust me, you belong."
I knew what it felt like to not be a part of anything and being distant. It was an awful feeling that I wouldn't wish on my enemies.
Do you know what an epiphany is? You ever have one of those where in a sudden moment of realization, you change everything about yourself. I'll let you in on something, I've had that before, the last time I got myself out of a funk, when I told myself that everything I was doing to myself was wrong and that I needed to make a change.
"Perce, I need to sleep" I told him.
"Oh" he said, looking forlorn.
"You helped" I told him, as I moved closer to him and wrapped my arms around him in a hug. He seemed startled for a second, before hugging back.
"Thanks Perce."
"Thanks Ron."
As I heard the footsteps fade away, I looked up at the 'CHUDLEY CANNONS' ceiling again.
"You get used to it" I said, with my second smile of the hour.
-x-
ACCEPTANCE
Christmas day was better than the last few days. The twins, Ginny and Percy looked relieved as I joined them downstairs for the opening of the presents. I stared at the maroon colored sweater with the 'R' embraided on it and gave Molly- Mum a big hug.
"Oh Ron" she said to me, her eyes sparkling with tears of joy as I felt the other siblings roll their eyes.
"I need to talk to you, and dad" I told her, "After we're done with the presents."
I know what sadness is, but I also know what love is, and as I watched all the children and my parents in this world open their presents, I knew what I was seeing, and love beats sadness every single day of the week.
I watched as Fred and George made fun of Percy, who, perhaps bolstered by my conversation with him yesterday fired back with a joke of his own. I watched as Ginny moaned about not being allowed to fly, and I watched as Dad unwrapped what was a broken telephone ('fellytone' as he called it) given to her by mum.
The look he had on his face as he looked toward her was something I was all too familiar with, and it disgusted me thoroughly.
"You wanted to talk to us Ron?" Mum asked me after the presents were opened and the kids were outside playing in the snow again (even Percy joined them).
"Mum, dad" I told them. "I know I've been a little weird lately" I told them. "But it isn't about the broomstick"
They looked positively relieved about that.
"I love you, both of you. I might not say it often, but just the fact that you were willing to go through all of that to indulge me shows me how much you care about me, and my Christmas gift to you is a promise that I will never let you down" I told them.
Both Molly and Arthur looked like they were about to cry now.
"Oh Ron" Molly said to me as she enveloped me in a hug.
"You don't need to buy me a broomstick, not until I have earned it" I told them. "And I promise you, I will earn it, no matter what happens"
"But I do need a new wand" I told them. "I can't really earn anything without that" I added.
They nodded with enthusiasm at my much more reasonable request, promising me that they would take me wand shopping for my birthday.
"Is the love fest done?" Fred and George both asked me as they entered the house, both looking like they'd gone rolling around in the snow.
"Yeah" I told them, "And now it's time to be drowned in snow" I shouted as I chased after them.
Fred and George grinned and then took off, as I chased after them.
"Ron" my mom called out from behind me, causing me to stop and look at her.
"Yeah" I said to her.
"We have to have a talk with you about your language dear" she told me. I grinned.
"Of course, I'm going to be grounded for a week, is that okay?"
Mum looked shocked.
"You seem okay with it" I told her as I chased after Fred and George. "I'll go back to my room after this" I told them as I ran out.
As I played in the snow, happy for the first time in a few days, I realized that I wasn't stuck here. I had a chance to learn magic, what I was in wasn't a nightmare, it was a very pleasant dream, one I wouldn't want to end anytime soon.
There was a lot to do, and a lot to fix. I grinned as I rolled up some snow in my hand, ready for Christmas, and the rest of my life here.
Salutations to my readers. I know some of you are angry at me that I haven't worked on my other stories, but I was busy having a life outside of fanfiction and it was hard to get back into writing something old. The bug of writing fanfiction hasn't gone away though, I promise you, and I found some time today, so I decided to write this instead.
I just want to leave a message to all my readers who feel like they are alone, you're not alone, I promise you, there is always someone kind willing to help. When I was a kid, Harry Potter got me through a lot of my tough times, and it might seem sad to say that I had to rely on a book to get me through it, but it really isn't.
Even now, sometimes I get sad and depressed, and feel lonely, but I have the greatest friends in the world, and the greatest parents in the world. I want to dedicate this story to all my friends, my parents, and everyone who ever sent a kind message to me here on fanfiction, I have a friend, his name is Culiao, and no matter what, I always got a message from him on this website wishing me a merry christmas, or a happy new year, or an easter. I've had people asking me if I was dead, and it might seem like nothing, but the fact that they cared even that much means the world to me.
I want to encourage you to do the same to your friends, send them a message telling them that you are thinking about them and that you care. It isn't much to you to do, but it means a whole lot to the person getting that message.
This story is an ode to Harry Potter, I'll try to keep it light and cheery and humorous, there will be sadness, but there will always be hope.
I love you all, and I hope to post more often.
As usual, read and review and let me know what you'd like to see.
Pairings are going to be cannon, won't factor in for a long long time. If you feel like you want to see something, let me know.