And time will break
The dreams that take the pain away
Ever after never came
And I'm still waiting for a love I'll never have
And all the dreams I lay to rest
Are ghosts that keep me
After all that I've become
I am only one
I'm on my own here
And no one's left to be the hero of
This fairy tale gone wrong
As night will fall my heart will die alone
Ever after never came
And I'm still waiting for my heart to beat again
And all the dreams I've laid to rest
Are ghosts that keep me
After all that I've become
I am only one
~I Am Only One
We Are The Fallen
Down the Rabbit Hole
by tomy
6 months – had it only been 6 months? As cliché as it sounded, it sure as hell felt a lot longer.
Chloe Decker hunched in barely concealed pain at her desk, well past dark, fussing with unneeded paperwork; shuffling them, pretending to be busy. At this point the precinct was dark, mostly empty, only a few on duty and others finishing up for the night.
She ached deeply – on so many levels. Her left arm still in the brace, strapped to her chest to keep it as immobile as possible. In total honesty it did little. Most things did little.
She missed him, missed the friendship, missed how he could turn everything into an innuendo, missed how even as he annoyed her, he could make her laugh. Mostly she missed his caring protection.
Time was running out.
Flashback 2 weeks before – another stakeout, another bad guy to chase, another case gone to shit in 3 seconds or less.
She ended up following a lead. Right place, wrong time.
Back up was en-route.
They spotted her, she had to move and they surrounded her. Many of them, happily toying with her, knowing they had a bit of time for this game.
In that moment she missed him the most – of all the annoying, dumb, careless things he did – he always had her back – and some truly stupid line to distract them, giving her the precious seconds to figure out a plan.
Gun drawn she stood mind in a whirl, searching for an idea, an out, a break in the ranks.
Time caught her up and they got bored – the bullets flew, one nicking her side, sending her sprawling. They were on her in a flash. Hands grabbed her throat, others grabbed her arms and legs pinning her as the hits landed – keeping her conscious, never breaking bones – but just barely. She coughed, sputtered, fighting for air, for any chance they might let go and she could gain some ground.
Giving in was not in her nature.
For a brief flash, as one of the goons held her throat closed, she pictured seeing him soon, and in that moment, she remembered him saying she would not be going there – she fought harder, struggling against their holds, bucking, kicking, trying to draw in more air to keep fighting.
Then someone grabbed her breast and her eyes sprung open.
Oh no! no no nononono….
She heard Dan's voice yelling, cars, more people and a gun went off – pain seared through her chest - her world went black.
She had woken in the hospital expecting to see his face, that smug expression he used to cover his concern. Instead she found herself alone in the room with only the beeping of the monitors keeping her company.
A strange kind of despair settled on her, a clarity of sorts.
He was gone and she was alone.
She had left the hospital AMA when she realized they were watching her.
She recognized a face from the night, originally chalking it up to drugs and nightmares. On the 3rd night, she knew she wasn't safe.
They were waiting for the right time.
Stalking her.
Cleaver enough to evade cameras, cops, surveillance – anything they set up to try and find these guys.
She'd sent Trixie on an extended vacation with her mom – oddly with Dan's blessing. Who'd have thought that day would ever come. She cynically thought she would have to ask Lucifer if Hell froze over.
She had to give these bad guys some credit – they were methodical and patient. She remembered one of them commenting that her protector was gone; how right hey were. Without Lucifer's looming presence they knew time was on their side. They were toying with her.
That was what was slowly fraying her nerves.
The precinct was one of the few places she felt semi-safe. But she couldn't live there. They'd taken her off all cases – considering how beat up she was – shot, beaten, could barely move – she wasn't surprised. In reality she was surprised they were allowing her to work at all.
But cops get cops and work is a very welcome distraction.
Dan was beginning to call her paranoid – of all people she thought she could depend on him, at least a little bit. On the other hand, she knew how she sounded, and how bad she looked.
She hadn't eaten – correction – she ate, nothing stayed down. Her frikken traitorous body was succumbing to the stress.
She would have asked Amenadiel, but watching Charlie was paramount. Too many knew there was a half angel baby since the demons roamed. He and Maze were his only protectors and Linda was doing all she could being a new mom and not letting events affect them.
She wanted Charlie safe and happy as much as they did.
Ella and Dan stood offside in the dim light of the evidence room, out of Chloe's line of sight, watching her fade.
"How do we help her?" Was Ella's desperate plea, one Dan could only shake his head and shrug his shoulders, just as much at a loss as she was.
He had no idea how to help. He hadn't been able to find any trace of them, or anything proving they were watching Chloe.
It was the worst kind of torture.
Seeing her after Lucifer disappeared – heart broken, grieving was hard. This – this was damn near impossible.
It was pissing him off.
And if she was correct, that they were watching her, targeting her – there wasn't much time left. Her weight had dropped, her wounds refused to heal without the strength in her body. She was so pale and so very weak.
"Where is Lucifer?" Ella's whisper growl brought his back from his thoughts.
"I asked Amenadeil, he said Lucifer had to go back home for some family business. That there is no way to reach him. I'd call bullshit, but after Charlotte died, Amenadeil said he went home as well and there were no phones."
Ella shook her head, eyes never leaving Chloe's slumped form. "This is so not right," she glowered at the ceiling.
Dan had to agree wholeheartedly. He'd followed her, stalked her himself. Chloe had put a quick end to that. Tearing his heart out by saying that one of them had to stay alive for Trixie. He'd sputtered, unable to respond as she drove off, leaving him standing on the sidewalk with a horrible sense of dread.
He knew she wouldn't give up, but she was also the practical one of them. They were both cops – the risk was real. Too real at the moment.
Chloe glanced at the time on her computer 12:13 – she was going to have to leave soon. People in the building were making sure she was gone by 1 am. Her fear cranked up a notch knowing she was going to have to leave the security of the building - alone. Dropping her head to her hand she tried to breathe deep – the pain in her chest stopping her short. She should know better really. There was no way to stop them. She was going to die soon - whether it was from them, or simply her stupid body shutting down – either way they would win and it pissed her off.
No seeing Trix grow up, no threatening her boyfriend with a gun (a scenario that brought her imagination a lot of glee), no seeing him again.
That thought caused a different kind of pain to cross her chest – though equally as painful.
Wasting time, she pretended to organise the small stack of files on her desk. The bullpen was strangely quiet.
Too quiet.
Her hackles rose, her heart rate skyrocketing.
She heard the footsteps a moment before their owner stepped into view around the corner.
Chloe stopped breathing.
He wasn't sure what he was expecting – but this was well beyond anything he had dared to imagine.
Amenadeil's message was terrifying, but seeing her, slumped, a waif of her usual self tore him. His pace sped up, covering the distance in a few strides all the while uttering a small prayer of protection.
Dropping to one knee he swiveled her chair around – his height allowing him them to be face to face.
Chloe blinked, not trusting who she was seeing until he dropped before her, his hands turning her to him. Reaching out a trembling hand she touched his face – expecting to find blank air, not the soft scrape of his stubble against her palm.
"I'm sorry," he whispered leaning into her hand. "I just heard."
"Lucifer….?" He'd never heard her voice in such a desperate tone – not even that night on his terrace when he left, breaking both their hearts.
"I'm here,' it sounded penitent even in his mind. "And the Devil kneels for no one," his attempted at humour, covering his own distress, fell flat.
Chloe could barely believe what her eyes were telling her. Never taking her eyes from his face, her hand slid from his face to his chest to find his heart hammering against his ribs.
She dissolved, reaching for him, feeling his arms wrap around her.
Hope sparked inside her for he first time in weeks as she hung onto him with her good arm.
Lucifer didn't waste any time; their moment of privacy would disappear at any moment and no one needed to see her like this. Though a small secret part of him relished the feeling of her being putty against him.
Plucking her cell and keys from the desk he lifted her easily from the chair, carrying her as close as he dared as he strode from the bullpen.
His attention completely on the woman in his arms he didn't notice their witnesses in the evidence lab – Ella practically bawling happy tears, while Dan stood stoic – unsure of what he felt.
Under the ash and the lies
Something beautiful once here now dies
And the tears burn my eyes
As you sit there, all alone
I just want to come home
But you see the shelter as the storm
Holding wind to keep you warm
You are everything to me, this is why I have to leave
So sleep well my angel
~Sleep Well My Angel
We Are The Fallen
Lucifer managed to make it out of the building with no one seeing them – more by dumb luck than anything divine he mused as he carefully reached for the handle of the Corvette.
She had relaxed completely against him and he didn't want to jostle her. Her shallow breathing spoke of the pain she was hiding – how she was functioning at all was a mystery.
Reluctantly he placed her in the passenger seat. Her arm around his neck loosened, but didn't let go. Not that he was complaining. He'd been working on a few things, plans and projects that once in place would allow him to come back to LA – his role would drastically change and his presence would not be needed on a full-time basis.
Leaning over her, he snapped the seat belt into place. With a small smile on her face, she quirked an eyebrow at him. "Buckle up for safety, Detective!" It was us usual, jovial tone.
She couldn't contain the comment "especially with how you drive." He responded with a huff walking around the car before dropping into the driver's seat.
Chloe found herself relaxing into the fine leather. The night was warm with a touch of humidity without being hot or stifling. The wind as they drove helped her breathe, add the feel of his upper arm against hers. "How did you know?" She wasn't sure she wanted to hear this answer.
Lucifer glanced at her briefly, taking in the relaxed expression under all the bruises and cuts. "Amenadeil got word to me. I came as soon as I could."
Nodding, Chloe accepted is response, not wanting to ask the real question ?How long can you stay?
"Are you falling asleep on me?"
His teasing tone made her smile and truth be told…."yes, I believe I am."
"Bloody Hell, I travel all this way and you fall asleep? And not actually on me, I might add."
Chloe knew it was a mock affront, unsure of how much he knew, she laid herself open. "This is the first time I've felt truly safe." She took a chance and glanced at him. His expression was sheer surprise mixed with that same look of complete adoration. How she'd missed that look. How much she treasured it.
"They knew you were gone, made a point of letting me know," she tried to collect her thoughts as the fear spiked.
"Of course they knew! How could you not notice this?" He made a grand gesture towards himself.
The snort that escaped her was actually really painful.
"They are watching you," he surmised turning serious. "Watched you long enough to know who you spend your time with and where."
Chloe nodded slowly, "they let me see them, but no one else. They are very good at what they do and I have no idea who they are, or why I'm their target." The whole thing was so frustrating.
"What has Maze uncovered?" Of course, he would know Maze had been protecting her – or trying to.
"Very little," that caught his attention. "She's doing what she can, but protecting Charlie is a full-time job at the moment." She didn't like the expression on his face, it mirrored her own feelings.
She gets it – she really does, but right now, in the middle of all this, she has never felt so alone, so broken. So selfish in her need that cannot be met by those close to her.
He reached one long arm out, his hand big enough to cover both of hers where they lay against her belly. "Chloe…" Hearing him say her name, a sob escaped, completely unbidden. "Do you want me to leave?" That shocked her, then she realised..
"No! That was joy. It's so rare for you to say my name, but when you do…" she was losing it, too tired, too weak, too happy to see him to control her emotions. She didn't dare look at him, it was too much. "How are you?" she diverted instead.
"Me?" his turn to be surprised. And really, quite touched. "You know," he turned to face her at a red light, his fingers lacing with hers against her belly. "No one's really asked me that before." She wasn't surprised by that revelation – instead it saddened her. "In all honesty, being in Hell was uncomplicated. Simple and somewhat boring after being here." The light changed and he drove on smoothly – the Vette was a much better decision than her clunky Dodge. "I've been working on a project," she turned her head sharply, hope sparking anew. "Once complete, I'll be able to stay, only going back periodically to make sure things are running smoothly." Relief caused her to sag even further into the seat. "Like that idea, do you?" He was half laughing as she nodded, not trusting the catch in her throat.
They drove into the parking lot of the complex and he found a spot close to the doors. Hopping out he quickly strode around the car, helping her out. She was very unsteady and on high guard. It was disturbing to watch her struggle – she'd always been such a force to reckon with.
Halfway to the building she froze, stopping short, her breath catching. If he hadn't been paying such close attention to her, he would have walked straight into her.
Looking up, he caught the movement our of the corner of his eye – just barely saw the figure dart around the corner, fading into the dark. He made a motion to chase after the culprit – Chloe's hand on his arm stopped him. Looking at her, at the barely concealed terror, he knew he couldn't leave her. Plus, the would-be assailant might not have been alone.
"That was one of them?" she nodded practically clinging to his arm. "You're safe with me." It was spoken as a fact
"I know – I've always known. Just lingering PTSD I think."
"Come on, let's get you inside and we'll see if we can discover anything in the morning."
Once inside they settled quickly on the couch, his long legs out in front of him on the coffee table as she curled into his side, her head on his chest, listening to his heart beat, feeling his warmth, his slowing breaths as he relaxed fully.
"Thank you," she whispered, wrapped in his arms, surrounded by his warmth.
"Irony," he cynically chuckled. "That you feel safe with the Devil."
Chloe levered herself slightly off him, forcing him to look at her. "Devil you may be, evil you are not!" she sternly informed him. "The fact that you are here when I need you is testament to that," she hated feeling weak, needy – but with him, it was easy to be herself, to be honest with her needs. "You could have ignored Amenadeil's message."
Lucifer shook his head slowly, his eyes not leaving hers. "No, I could not. Not when it comes to you." He cupped her tear stained cheek in his palm, caressing with his thumb.
"I woke up alone in that hospital," she closed her eyes at the horrible memory, taking in the feel of his hand against her face. Just as she remembered it. "I expected to see you – your crazy lines about how long I was out."
"That was brilliant," he interrupted her, smiling at his own shenanigans.
"It was, though it freaked me out."
"I will do my best to make sure you don't wake up alone anymore." She expected to hear some kind of innuendo – instead she found promise in the new truth between them. "Shall I take you up to bed then?" this time he raised a suggestive eyebrow, his gaze traveling down her body.
She rolled her eyes at him, "right, like A – I'm so far from feeling attractive, amorous or otherwise with two gunshot wounds, and bruises and B – I don't think I could until these heal."
With a knowing smile he leaned in, brushing a soft kiss across her lips – it was so unexpected, so incredibly tender her body reacted without her consent. Not that she hadn't dreamed of being with him a hundred times since that night on the terrace.
"Not fair," she grumbled as he chuckled, helping her stand leading her to the bedroom.
The noise downstairs started her awake. Heart pounding, she tried to get her breathing under control while listening for who, or what might have made the noise.
"No harm will come to you," his voice, barely audible at her shoulder immediately calmed her. Lucifer was there, he was alert, and he'd heard it too.
He slipped from the bed in total silence – she knew the bed creaked horribly, the floor too, but if she hadn't known he was there, she would not have been able to detect his movement.
Celestial being… right. She almost forgot.
At the top of the landing he watched the two tear the living room area apart – quiet enough – but not so that he couldn't hear them.
"What the fuck are we doing here?" one of the intruders bitched in just above a whisper. "We know the bitch doesn't have anything here."
Interesting… Lucifer thought to himself.
"It's not about finding shit, it's about terrorizing. Which in my opinion is fun in it's own rights." The second responded, giving him a little bit more insight.
"Speaking of fun – she's up there alone, no one's watching her. I got a feel of a nice firm boob before."
Lucifer's eyes flashed red – 'not above rape for fun, eh…. Let's have some fun then.' With a nasty grin Lucifer let his presence be known, expanding his aura.
Both men below froze, feeling, but not seeing, becoming increasingly agitated as their instincts took over. They exchanged panicked looks before hurrying out of the apartment, leaving the door ajar in their rush.
Not concerned about an unlocked door, Lucifer returned to the bedroom, finding her fully awake sitting up, waiting.
"They're gone. Heard them say this is more about scaring you than anything else. They have a lot to learn about sneaking about and menacing people. Amateurs," he groused climbing back into bed beside her.
Chloe couldn't believe the familiarity that brought a sense of relief she didn't think she'd feel again. She actually caught herself chuckling. At his semi affronted look, she tipped her head to his bare shoulder. "I really have missed you."
"If I'd known it was this easy to get into your bed…."
"Go back to sleep, Lucifer."