Here is my new story. The Hidden Journal will not be deleted but will be moved to the back burner and when I feel that I've found my storyline again I will try to start it up but no promises. Thank you for all your feedback and support guys, it really helped.

Lara…you didn't fail me. You did everything right…I…I just can't go on anymore…

My eyes shot open instantly to the sight of my bedside clock flashing 8:00 A.M; the words from my dream…nightmare was still echoing in my head. It has become a routine; one that I have perfected. Once the words start to form my body would react and I'd wake up before the image that goes with the words starts to appear.

I kept my head pressed into my pillow and just stared at the red numbers; I could feel the sweat that had formed on my skin start to cool causing me to shiver under my t-shirt and sweatpants. I knew I should get up and out of bed but I just couldn't…this…this nightmare had become more insistent; it refused to go away. I could handle the other ones…but this one…

My head shot up when I heard the sound of the kettle whistling; as far as I was aware I was the only one in the apartment. As I pulled the sheets off my body and sat up I heard the whistling cease; I grabbed my sweater and walked out of the bedroom.

I was greeted to the sight of a young blonde's back.

"I didn't hear you come in last night?" I said to the blonde. "I got in an hour ago," she replied still facing away from me. I took in the clothes she was wearing; they were the ones she was wearing yesterday. A pair of blue jeans, a black shirt and a gray zip up sweater.

"Oh…"

"Do you want a cup?" she asked although she had already pulled out two cups and was pouring water in them both.

"Yes…thank you." I walked further into the small kitchen and took a seat at the slightly wobbly circular table in the middle of the kitchen. I sat there awkwardly and just twiddled my thumbs together; I wasn't sure of what to say.

"Did you stay at Cory's last night?" I asked. I heard her sigh before she answered, "Yes." I nodded my head and went back to twiddling my thumbs.

I glanced up when I heard her place the spoon on the counter. Finally…she turned to face me but she wouldn't look at me. She wouldn't grace me with her grey eyes; instead she just handed me my tea, took a seat across from me and quickly separated my view of her with the pages of the morning paper.

I wanted to say something but I was distracted by the date in the corner on the paper, March 26, 2014. I felt my throat tighten and my heart beat a little faster; I hadn't realize just how fast this day would come; I had been trying to avoid the inevitable.

I nearly jumped out of my skin when I heard the front door slam shut but I didn't take my eyes away from the paper; I already knew who it was; there is only one person who would just walk into my house without knocking.

"Walker…" I could hear the annoyance in her voice. The date was taken from my line of sight when the paper was placed back onto the table.

"Come on…I'd would have thought that we would be on first name bases by now…Amanda," I could hear Alex's words dripping with sarcasm. I turned to look at my house guest to give her a look saying 'don't start'.

Green eyes met mine and instantly rolled but I knew she got the message when she walked over to the lonesome coffee maker that only got used by her and began to make coffee.

"I'm going out," Amanda stated as she got up and dumped her tea in the sink. I pushed my chair back and stood up, "You just got home…" I pointed out.

"I have research to do," she said. I ran my hand through my hair in frustration making it more of a mess than it already was and let out a quiet sigh. Amanda walked into our bedroom and came out with a small bag that I knew was probably full of clothes.

"The library closes early tonight," I informed her. We both knew I was pointing out that there was no reason for her to not be able to come home tonight since using the 'staying late at the library' excuse wouldn't work.

"Enjoy your day," she dismissed me. She threw the straps of the duffel bag over her shoulders and surprised me with a quick peck on the lips before walking out the front door. I stared after the door with the small hope that she would come back through it but I knew that wasn't gonna happen; it was wishful thinking.

"Did she actually come home last night?" Alex asked. I looked over at her, "Don't," I warned her. Alex held up both hands in surrender. I glared at her for a few seconds before she turned around and started to pour her coffee. I took a seat and watched my lifelong friend…my non blood related sister.

She was a stunning woman but had an edge to her that demanded respect from people. She was 6'3" and well-toned. Much more fit than me but not in the gross body building way; just enough to make women envious and fit men feel bad about their bodies. She had short black hair that hung just a little over her ears, a strong squared jaw line and dark green eyes that had flecks of light green around the edges.

She had no problem getting attention and when we were younger she had a knack for getting straight women to go home with her for the night; of course the American accent helped with that. She was two years older than me but I tended to be more mature and defiantly had more patience than her. She was currently wearing a pair of black training sweatpants and a long sleeve green shirt that said Army across the chest. If it wasn't for her boobs and soft facial features she could easily pull off being a guy.

"When you going to ditch her?"

I gave her the finger as my response. She shook her head and occupied the seat that Amanda had previously vacant. "I'm serious…when are you going to say enough is enough?" she asked again.

"Alex…please. Not today," I whined. I really didn't want to talk about my practically distant relationship with my girlfriend of three years.

"Whatever Lara…you know how I feel about her," she said. She leaned back in her chair and took a sip of her coffee while scanning me with her eyes.

"I worked a late shift last night," I told her but I knew she could see right through the lie and knew that nightmares were the reason for my messy tired appearance. I let my eyes slide over to the large scar on the right side of her face that was still very visible even after 8 month. I quickly looked away but I was already seeing the other scars that were hidden under her clothes that almost matched the ones that were hidden under mine.

"Yeah…" I heard her mutter. I could feel her eyes boring into the side of my head but I didn't want to look at them…not today.

"Why are you here?" I asked in an attempt to change the atmosphere that had started to form.

"Well…I'm dragging you to the gym with me but I really came over here to tell you that we are going out tonight," she said. I raised an eyebrow at her, "Who's we?" I asked.

"You know exactly who we is," she replied. I smiled at her and let out a small chuckle, "I thought Wednesdays were yours and Rebecca's date night?"

"She left this morning," Alex said. I was confused at first but then I remembered what Alex had told me a week ago, "I thought she was leaving tomorrow for the states?"

"Nope…today. Besides even if she wasn't going to visit her grandfather I think she would be understanding as to why date night would be cancelled tonight," Alex pointed out. I sighed in defeat, "And where are you guys taking me?" I asked.

"Can't tell you," Alex simply stated.

"Come on," I begged. Alex shook her head at me and I gave her a childish pout. "Fine," she started, "we are taking you to a pub to get you laid," she said. My smile fell and I gave her the finger before getting up and placing my empty tea cup in the sink.

Alex chuckled and twisted in her seat, "What? Can you honestly tell me you remember when you guys last had sex." She was pushing my buttons. I leaned against the counter and crossed my arms, "What does it matter to you," I snapped.

Alex rolled her eyes, "Lara-"

"No…stop. We are going through a rough patch; every relationship goes through it," I pointed out. Alex stood up and leaned against the table so she could face me fully.

"This isn't a rough patch…this is her being a selfish bitch," Alex snapped. I could feel the tension rise in the room; Alex didn't like Amanda from the start but she defiantly didn't like her even more as of recently

"Don't call her that…" I growled.

"She wants you to do something that will cause you more pain than what you are already going through and for what? What reason does she have to want you to do that?" She argued.

"She is anthologist…" I said as if that would explain everything.

"Please anthropologist or not there is no reason…if she really cared she would have never asked and she certainly wouldn't be throwing a fit about you refusing," Alex exclaimed. I wanted to say something but I clamped up; I hated to admit it but Alex was right.

I placed my head in my hands and rubbed my eyes with the palm of my hands. I didn't hear Alex move but I felt her place her arms around my shoulders. "I didn't come here to argue with you…I came here to drag your ass out of the house and to a gym. I don't want you getting flabby," she joked. I let out a snort and pushed her.

"Please…I'm fairly sure that I am catching up to you," I joked. Alex waved her hand at me, "You wish, Croft." She walked into the sitting room and turned the T.V. on while I walked into the bedroom to change.

Shuffling around in my closest I was growing frustrated because I couldn't find my University of Cambridge pullover and I had this really strong urge to wear it tonight. I could wear another sweater but it felt right to wear my old university one. I glanced at my clock and saw that I had five minutes to find the sweater, brush my teeth and put my sneakers on before the two people who are very funny about time show up at my apartment.

I had almost given up when I caught a glimpse of it between Amanda's clothes. "Got ya," I muttered as I quickly pulled it over my head and rushed into the bathroom. I was mid brush when I heard Alex's voice, "Croft?"

I poked my head out of the bathroom with my toothbrush still in my mouth and held up my index finger before going back into the bathroom and spitting out the toothpaste.

"She is always making us wait," I heard Alex complain. I heard a deep chuckle, "No…we just happen to always be either early or right on the dot," a deeper voice said. I wiped my mouth on my towel and walked out of the bathroom. My face lite up when I saw the guy who was with Alex and without hesitation I ran up to him and hugged him. His strong arms hugged me back tightly.

"Lara…" he whispered.

"Thomas, it's good to see you."

I released my grip on him and took a step back to smile fondly at the man I considered my big brother and who was actually Alex's brother. Seeing them stand next to each other most people thought they were twin and they practically could be except Thomas was 27, was three inches taller than Alex and had one green eye and one blue eye. Plus he was also more level headed than his sister.

"How long are you in London for?" I asked him. Unlike his sister, Thomas didn't live in England; he lived in Boston where the two grew up.

"For a few months," he replied.

"Great…my sex life just decreased to, maybe if I'm lucky, once a week," Alex complained. Thomas gave her a slight shove, "Just think you get to see your favorite brother though," Thomas mocked.

"Wonderful…hang out with annoying brother for a few months or have great sex with beautiful girlfriend three to four times a week? Umm…let's see I'd prefer the latter of the two," Alex informed.

"Just send him over here when you want to have sex…" I said. I walked over to my hallway closet and grabbed my sneakers.

"That won't work because Rebecca will feel guilty and all that shit and she won't give me sex…" Alex whined.

"Awww poor baby and besides she is going to be gone for two weeks anyways," Thomas mocked while he placed his large hands on either side of Alex's face.

"Get stuffed," Alex muttered. I laughed; there was never a dull moment with them. It was always a good time when we got together and there was always constant bickering. I know that by the end of the night I will be part of the bickering too.

Alright you two…where are we going?" I asked after my sneakers were tied.

The apartment went quiet but judging by the looks that pass through Alex and Thomas's eyes I knew they were thinking of the same place I was thinking of. The one place that would be perfect for tonight; The Drunken Tavern.

Side note... IAA does not exist in this story. Thomas is just a regular solider. Review...