Hi lovelies! Let me introduce you to Les Plaisirs Démodés, third installment of the La Bohème series.
Now, this fic is a bit different than the two others. It will be very much less based on canon, and there will be flash forwards every two chapters or so -it can go from a few months, to years into Dan and Blair's lives. Also, this fic will be a bit longer than the others, around ten chapters.
This first chapter, however, picks up at the end of the summer in which For me, Formidable ended. So will the next chapter.
The general theme of this is kind of their journey in life. I hope you will enjoy it.
Have a good reading!
As soon as they are inside her bedroom, Blair tugs Dan's shirt up and throws it over her shoulder. Dan laughs at her impatience, then grabs her by the waist and they fall onto the bed together.
"I missed you so much" she gasps against his lips.
Dan starts unbuttoning her dress, rushed but careful, because he won't want to deal with whatever happens if he rips one off. While doing that, he kicks off his shoes and socks to the floor. When the last button is free, Dan pushes the straps off her shoulders and kisses her again.
He bends his body in an uncomfortable angle so his mouth won't leave hers while he tries to take off her shoes. Blair halts him. She pushes him off, gets off the bed and hops to her suitcase.
"What are you doing?" Dan asks, his breath short with want and anticipation.
He watches Blair fumble until she finds the twin shoe to the one Dan brought with him. She puts them on, and comes back to bed with him. Dan laughs again.
"What, you wanna do this with shoes on?"
Blair nods, biting her smile.
"From now on, we'll only make love with me wearing those shoes"
"This is not going to end well for my skin"
Blair pulls him back on her "Well, it's your fault, deal with it"
It's the end of the afternoon, and the summer sunset hitting her skin, and her hair makes her look like a warm apparition. In this moment, Dan is not completely certain she actually exists.
Blair kisses Dan, never stops kissing him, and thinks about how she would have never thought to be at that exact place, living this moment, four days ago.
X
Four days ago, Blair wakes up in Monaco.
She doesn't open her eyes right away, just sighs in content against the soft cool sheets. She moves around, debating if she should sleep in or not today. Her body gets blocked by another one. Blair sits up in a startle, then sighs, half relieved, half annoyed when she sees Béatrice asleep next to her.
"Hey, princess!" Blair snaps her fingers "You have your own aisle in this castle, remember?"
Béatrice grunts, and turns away from Blair.
"My mother knows I was out last night, and she would have come to check if I was hungover"
"Which you are"
"Well, obviously. Stop lecturing me and ask breakfast up, will you?"
Blair sighs again, and gets out of bed. She calls the kitchen and orders up breakfast for two, then she opens the curtains – Béatrice growls –and gets out on the balcony. Everything is bright and sunny, as usual. The ocean is blue deep, the palm trees are fierce green. Monaco is perfect, really. Blair doesn't have any other words for it.
She had been there only once before, when she was fifteen and vacationing with Nate and his family. Being the guest of the royal family is highly different of being a tourist, as one should expect. The employees at the Hotel de Paris know her name, and always greet her with extreme care when she comes to lunch. She has two butlers at her disposition, and three maids –one solely for taking care of her hair.
It's easy to get used to that kind of life, especially when she had always secretly, or not so secretly, dreamed of it.
Chuck and Nate stopped by, on their way to Scotland, or Thailand or whatever. Blair got a little smug from their impressed faces as the employees of the casino took them to her 'usual table'. Nate does make fun of her for being 'someone's Dorota'. Blair shrugs it off, because it isn't the way she sees herself, when it comes to her duty toward Béatrice. Dorota was never paid to spend royal money on shopping for a princess. When she isn't watching Béatrice, or shopping for her, Blair likes to walk on the beach; stops for a few minutes to read a poem Dan recommended. In the afternoon, she takes naps, and finds when she wakes up a tray of pastries and tea.
In Monaco, Blair feels more important and glamorous that she has ever felt in New York. She shows off her taste in fashion, looks down to anyone who doesn't agree; she brags about her outstanding grades at Columbia University –never mentions NYU –and about her boyfriend, Daniel, the writer. She doesn't mention he is from Brooklyn, because people in Monaco probably think it's an American dish, and not a borough, anyway.
A maid comes in with their breakfast, does a little reverence at Blair with a smile. Blair thanks her, sends her on her way and Béatrice sits up, groggy.
"Last night was fun" she says "You should have come"
"No thank you" Blair pours two cups of coffee, and hands one to Béatrice.
"That's right, I forgot. You don't like to have fun. You don't drink, and you don't have sex"
"I came here to work, not have fun. And I have a boyfriend"
Béatrice rolls her eyes "Yes, the boring writer, David"
"Daniel" Blair corrects pointedly "And he is not boring"
"Being published once in some magazine doesn't make him interesting"
Blair doesn't give into her teasing, and simply smiles. She glances quickly over at her desk, where the two shorts stories Dan published in the New Yorker over the summer are lying, next to Cedric. Every time she reads them, every time she even looks at them, Blair is filled with a confident pride. The first story was about a young man, taking a self-discovering journey over the summer while waiting for his girlfriend to come back from Europe. The second was about a girl, a dreamer, who likes Jane Austen novels and reads them to her dog at night. After each of them was published, Dan called her, anxious about her critique.
Blair scolded him about having no imagination, but she told him she was proud of him. She keeps it a secret the delight she takes in being his muse. She never told him that she knew about Inside. She never implied anything, just patiently waited for him to mention it. He never did.
"Eat fast" she tells Béatrice "You have to attend a lunch with the Marquis de Bageois today, and then a cocktail party over at Madame De Lapernay. We need to lay out some outfits"
"I don't want to go see boring old people" Béatrice pouts
"Well neither do I, but it's your job to do so, and it's my job to accompany you, dress you and make sure you don't do anything stupid"
Béatrice sighs "What am I going to do, when you leave?"
Blair gives her a little smile "Give hell to your new handler"
"Well, I hope David is worth leaving a castle for"
"Daniel" Blair rolls her eyes "And he is"
X
Dan opens the door to the loft, and sighs in content, smile lingering on his face. He lets go of Léon's leash, watches him run to his pillows in the living room. Apparently, he missed the place just as Dan did.
The summer went by much faster than Dan anticipated. He was always busy, anyway; writing, being Eric's wingman, coaching baseball. It was a quiet pace, steady and uneventful. At the end of the days when he didn't feel like writing, Dan would take Léon for a walk on the beach; sit there a few minutes to read a poem Blair recommended –a lot of Emily Dickinson's.
He and Blair would text every day, and skype every two days or so; it didn't really feel different than when they were next to each other in New York. She is the one who convinced him to send his short stories to the New Yorker. She told him that his work was good, and needed to be shown. Then Dan had wanted to tell her about Inside, finally come out. He never did. He decides that it isn't meant to be published, then. He tries to put it in the past, see it as the work of unpracticed literary aspiration, leading the path to another one. Better, wiser, less based on fantasies.
Dan drops his bag in the kitchen, and opens the fridge. Two bottles of beer and a bottle of apple juice. It definitely feels like the end of summer; and he has to go shop for some food. Blair is coming back in four days; Nate, who is visiting Serena, is coming back in five days; Serena will be back in a week and soon, the loft will be taken over by young adults basically squatting and begging him to cook for them. There will be only the exception of Vanessa, who Dan hasn't talked to since she left his loft with a promise to never talk to him again. But Dan tries not to think about that.
He slowly takes back his territory. He walks around a little, turning on the power and water supply, read some mails, before taking his laptop and going to his desk. He opens Skype, hoping to find Blair logged on. With a little smile, he clicks on her name and initiates the call, praying that she is in front of her computer.
Blair's face and bust appears on his screen, a smile on her lips. It's dark around her and she is wearing a sparkling dress.
"Hey, you" she says
"Hi" Dan smiles too. He misses her.
"Back at the loft, I see. Does it feel good?"
"Very" Dan nods "But it would feel better if you were there"
"Four days, Humphrey. You made it this far without dying from the pain of missing me"
"Barely" Dan sighs, and sits back on his chair "You look nice. Fancy party with fancy people?"
"Cocktail party. I wish I didn't have to go. I would rather stay in the garden, and read under the moon light. But someone has got to keep an eye on that Princess"
Dan laughs "She can't be that impossible"
"She is worse than Serena"
"Wow. Now that's something I would like to see"
"Trust me, you don't" Blair sighs "I miss you"
"Now who's dying in pain?" Dan grins at her.
Then he stops grinning, and closes his eyes because a girl appears in underwear behind Blair. He hears Blair talk furiously in French, and the girl answering, and the situation is a bit ridiculous, but Dan keeps his eyes closed anyway.
"You can open your eyes, Humphrey, I made her put a robe on" Blair says, annoyed "Princess Sophie has asked for me, I'll be back in a few minutes"
"Okay"
Blair leaves her computer open, and he sees her walk away and leave the room through heavy doors. Dan takes advantage of it to check his emails, until he hears someone clear their throat. He opens up Skype again, and sees a dark-haired, blue eyes girl sitting in Blair's chair. She smiles at him.
"You're the boring boyfriend" she says, accent barely perceivable.
Dan frowns, a little cross. He wonders if Blair is the one who gave him this title.
"You're the annoying princess" he guesses.
The girl laughs out loud, throwing her head back.
"My name is Béatrice. And you are?"
"Dan"
"Right. She keeps calling you David"
Dan really doesn't know what to respond to that.
"Let me ask you something, David" Béatrice plays nonchalantly with a lock of her hair "What do you think about babies?"
"Uh…" Dan blinks "I like them, I guess"
"Would you like to have one?"
"Are you offering?"
Dan is confused, but he doesn't want to show it. Béatrice laughs again.
"You're funny, I get why she likes you, now" she says, fluttering her eyelashes "Because you look terrible, and I read your stories; it's not that good"
Again, Dan is silenced. Who is this girl?
"And to answer your question, no, I'm not offering. But I think your girlfriend is"
At that point, it's probably visible that he is confused as fuck. Béatrice laughs again.
"At least, I think so" she shrugs "Blair always drinks only one cocktail, when we're out and I heard her throw up, the other morning"
Dan's heart misses a beat. He tries to catch his fleeting breath. He sits up in his chair when he sees Blair enter the room. She tells something to Béatrice in French, and Béatrice answers something –it all sounds like gibberish –and Blair sends her away before sitting back in her chair.
"I'm sorry" she says "I really have to go. I'll call you tomorrow, okay? Love you"
"Wait, Blair…"
But the window closes down, and Dan facing her profile again, logged off. Léon whimpers from the living room, probably hungry, but Dan is basically glued to his chair.
X
Good morning Upper East Side, the summer comes to a close and even I need time to revive myself. But I won't be leaving you without a goodbye kiss. I hear a positive pregnancy test was found in B and S's trash, just as everyone was fleeing the city for a summer adventure. Brooklyn baby or Royal bastard? Surely, it won't be long until we find out. Have a good end of summer, xoxo, Gossip Girl.
Dan had decided not to freak out, after his conversation with Béatrice. He recalled Blair had once told him that Béatrice likes to mess with people's heads, and he figured it was her idea of fun. He had almost forgotten about it, while grocery shopping. But now, he is reading the blast, soy milk in one hand and an instant migraine takes over his head.
He is still looking at the screen when his phone rings in his hand, and Blair's name flashes. With trembling fingers, Dan answers.
"It's not me"
And Dan is breathing again, but barely. He swallows his anxiety, tries to say something but ends up stuttering her name.
"Dan, listen to me" Blair's voice is insistent "It's not me"
Dan lets out a deep breath, feeling his blood pressure going back down.
"It's not you?" he asks, just to be sure.
"It's not me" Blair repeats again. He hears her clear her throat. "But…you have to say it's me"
The blood pressure goes back up.
"What?" he asks loudly, and several customers turn to him "Blair, what the fuck is going on?"
"Calm down, okay?" Blair takes a deep breath "You have to say it's me. Because…Serena doesn't want Louis to know"
"Serena?"
Dan is hit by the realization that if it's not Blair, well it has to be Serena. It doesn't really make him feel better. He hears the double call signal beep, and he doesn't even have to look to know it's either Rufus or Lily. He cannot handle that kind of pressure.
"Blair, my father will go crazy, and then Lily will have a heart attack, when she finds out the truth"
"Listen, Serena and I hadn't planned this to happen. Gossip Girl ruined everything, as usual, and we have to adopt a plan"
"So you're willing to tell everyone you're having my baby?" Dan asks, annoyed and dubious.
"Plausible deniability" Blair says "If it's not Serena, it has to be me, right?"
"Blair, you are way too big on plausible deniability, I already told you that. So big that right now, I'm wondering if you're not telling me it's Serena because you don't want me to know it's you"
"I wouldn't lie about such a thing, Humphrey" Blair says, highly annoyed.
"That what you're doing right now!" Dan exclaims, and again several people turn toward him. He takes a calming breath.
"Well not to you!" Blair answers in the same tone "Which is why I called you"
"Blair, Béatrice told me something, yesterday. She said you don't drink anymore, and that she heard you throw up one morning"
Blair groans into the phone "She is a lying brat. She must have heard a phone conversation between Serena and I. I swear, I am not pregnant with your Brooklyn baby, Humphrey. Now, if someone like Nate or Chuck happens to ask, we are to be proud parents? Capice?"
Dan's jaw clenches. He doesn't agree with this plan, at all. But he remembers when he found out about Milo, thinking he was his, and he figures Serena must be scared as hell, right now.
"Fine" he says.
Blair sighs of relief "Thank you, thank you. I love you. I have to go, but I love you"
"Right" Dan answers dryly, still pissed.
Blair ends the call, and Dan puts the phone back into his pocket, stares at the soy milk still in his hand. He needs to get out of here, the security guard is starting to eye him suspiciously. He needs to take some air.
On his way to the cashier, Dan stops, spotting a familiar figure.
"Vanessa?"
Vanessa turns around, with a little jump to Dan, it's like he is seeing her for the first time. She looks like she always looked –brown skin, dark curls, colorful skirt and wedge-heels; but the permanent glint in her eyes is gone. She doesn't move as Dan approaches her. He glances quickly at her hand around a chili con carne can.
"Back on meat?" he asks with a smile.
Vanessa stares, then shrugs.
Dan clears his throat "I thought you would already be in Spain, by now"
"I'm supposed to be. I just wanted to be on my own for a while. Feel New York, figure things out"
Dan nods, and takes the can out of her hand to put it in his cart.
"Let me buy it for you"
Before she can say anything, Dan resumes walking to the cashier. He grabs a pack of gummy bears on the way, remembering how they use to share it when they were eleven or twelve. Vanessa follows quietly.
Once they're out, Dan hands her the can with a little smile.
"Do you want to come and cook this at my place?" he asks "We could talk about…things"
"I don't think it's a good idea" Vanessa avoids his eyes, and shakes lightly her head.
"Please. Blair just dropped a bomb on me, and I've never apologized for what I told you and…I just really need a friend, right now. And you're my best friend"
Vanessa looks at him, visibly torn.
"Okay" she finally says "But I won't stay very long"
Dan smiles "I'll try to make you change your mind about that"
X
Vanessa sits quietly at the kitchen bar, Dan opens two bottles of beer before he starts cooking. He expected things to feel awkward, but it's actually ten times worst. She hasn't opened her mouth since they've arrived, and why would she? He is the one who has to apologize. Every time, he is the one to do something wrong. Dan thinks it's his male genetic attribute; to fuck things up with his female friends.
He turns to her with a smile, asks about her parents. Vanessa answers evasively, everything is good.
"Have you talked to Blair about the novel?" she asks, and it doesn't really seem out of the blue, since it is the main reason why they are standing there like mere acquaintances.
"No" Dan sighs "And I'm not going to. I told you, it's not good enough"
Vanessa half rolls her eyes "And I told you, it's amazing. But you do whatever you want. I just think you should tell Blair"
Dan shakes his head "Forget about Blair. Vanessa, I'm sorry for what I told you. When you left to Vermont without saying goodbye, my heart broke"
"You didn't deserve a goodbye"
Dan nods, jaw clenched and turns his back to start serving the food.
"You could cut me some slack" he says "You took me by surprise, and you wanted me to do something that could hurt my friends, and my girlfriend"
He doesn't mean to start a fight, and fortunately, Vanessa doesn't seem offended by his comment. Dan pushes a plate in front of her, restrains to take a step back when he sees her grab her fork like it's a weapon. She points it at him.
"Stop being such a wuss" she says "And stop acting like you know everything about them. How do you know Blair won't like it? How do you know she won't be touched by that metaphor about her being a time-bomb and shit?"
Dan frowns "How do you know it's about her?"
Vanessa shoots him a look "You called her Claire, Dan"
"Yeah, I know but…"
Dan trails off. Something doesn't feel right. Especially now that Vanessa seems to be slightly shrinking under his suspicious glare. She seems to be pretty confident that Blair won't be offended by the story, and she and Blair haven't been friends long enough for Vanessa to make such assured assumptions. Unless she knows something.
Dan jumps a little when he hears his phone ring. Nate. He glances quickly at Vanessa, who seems kind of relieved and shows him with a look she doesn't mind him answering. Dan picks up, not entirely sure he wants to.
"Hey, man" Nate's voice is compassionate "How are you holding up?"
"Um…good. I mean, I'm fine" Dan fumbles on his thoughts, with not the slightest idea what he should say.
Vanessa shoots him a suspicious look while she starts eating. Dan decides to take the call in the bathroom.
"Does Rufus know?" Nate asks "Alison?"
"I'm not sure about my dad" Dan says, and he hates lying about that "I don't think so for my mom, though. Jenny is in London, so…I don't know"
"Okay" Nate says "Well, I just wanted to know how you were"
"I'm –"
Dan doesn't know if he is happy or not about the sound of shattered porcelain in his kitchen that interrupts his lie. He runs however toward it, and finds Vanessa standing above the sink, trembling, eyes closed; chili con carne is splattered on the floor, with the broken pieces of her plate.
"Did you put basilisk in the chili?" she asks Dan softly.
"Well, yes, but…"
Again, Dan is interrupted, and this time, it's by Vanessa leaning above the sink, vomiting her guts out.
"Is everything okay?" Nate asks on the other end "What's going on? Was that Vanessa's voice?"
Dan blinks, swallows the lump in his throat. He takes in the food on the floor, Vanessa's untouched beer and now that she is leaning, her shirt is stretching and Dan can see…
"I'm gonna have to call you back" he tells Nate, throat tight, before hanging up.
Dan kind of stands there, until Vanessa is done. She drinks water right from the drain, before turning to him. Dan takes then a shy step forward, and another one. He reaches out a trembling hand to put over Vanessa's stomach, then jumps back, kind of electrified by what he feels.
"It's you" he says, like he just discovered the murderer in a thriller.
Vanessa sniffs, then nods ever so slightly. Dan can't help the small whimper that escapes his lips.
"Blair said it was Serena" he says
"I went to see them before leaving, at the beginning of the summer" Vanessa shrugs "They forced me to take the test, then they swore they wouldn't say a word. When the blast came out, Serena told me they would say it's Blair"
Dan thinks about the burlesque of the situation. When he was on the phone with Blair, at the supermarket, Vanessa was probably two aisles away, on the phone with Serena. This kind of things only happens in their lives.
He takes a deep breath.
"I think I'm going to hyperventilate" he says, feeling all the pressure going up and down.
"No!" Vanessa points at him "Do not lose your shit, Dan! I have been managing to keep it together all this time, so I need you to stay with me in this"
"Okay" Dan says, but he shakes his head "Sure. You're the one who's pregnant, not me. There is no reason for me to…"
Then of course, it comes to Dan attention that there is only one reason why Blair and Serena would go through such trouble to hide Vanessa's pregnancy. He bites his lower lip, trying to keep his cool.
"Is…is Nate the father?" he asks, stomach heavy.
Vanessa half rolls her eyes "Well, what do you think?"
"Oh, God" Dan turns around on his spot, hands on his hips. When he is back to facing Vanessa, he takes another deep breath "Can I lose my shit now?"
X
"Dan knows"
Blair buries her toes in the sand, and looks up to the moonlight. The sea is calm, tonight, so she knows what she just heard is what Serena said.
"How?" she asks.
"He saw her" Serena sighs "And then he called me to lecture me about scheming behind Nate's back"
Blair huffs "It's not scheming. He doesn't understand anything"
"That's what I told him. I convinced him not to tell Nate, though. But I don't know for how long he'll keep it"
"Fine. Don't worry, I'll talk to him. See you in a week?"
"Yes" Blair can hear Serena smile "Can't wait"
They hang up, and Blair looks one last time at the ocean, before turning back to Louis with a smile.
"Everything okay?" he asks
Blair shrugs "Oh, you know. Upper East Side stuff"
She takes back his arm, and they resume walking. Louis has a little laugh.
"I miss how crazy everything is, back in New York"
"We can trade" Blair mumbles.
"That was Serena, right?" Louis asks, then after Blair nods "How is she?"
"She is doing great, as per usual" Blair sighs "She is found work in Hollywood. I think she is working with a movie producer or something"
"She must be making them bow in awe" Louis says with a smile.
"Perhaps not right away, but it'll happen eventually. Everybody falls in love with Serena"
"She told me that, before I left New York. She said people fall out of love with her, eventually. I don't know if I will"
"Well, try" Blair nudges him "Because Serena is not princess material"
"I think that's what I love about her. I didn't expect living out of the protocol I grew up in to be so good. Half of what she says would make my mother faint, but she is so warm, and so sparkly"
Blair watches Louis's fond smile, and she melts a little.
"I guess I can see what you mean" she says.
Of course she thinks of Dan, and of how he doesn't check any of her 'acceptable suitor' cases but still manages to make her fall for him without the criteria. She and Louis walk and talk in the night, until they reach the car that brings them back to the castle.
He leaves her at her door, kisses both of her cheeks with promises of a last breakfast together before she has to leave, the following morning.
Blair puts herself into her pajamas and looks around the dark room. Her eyes fall on Cedric. She is mostly packed, but she couldn't bring herself to stuff him in her trunk, and not have him with her to remind her of Dan.
She slides into her bed with her cellphone.
Dan picks up at the fourth ring "You lied to me"
"I know" Blair sighs, guilty.
Dan doesn't answer. Blair imagines him pouting in his loft.
"How is Vanessa?" she asks, trying to distract him from his annoyance.
"She doesn't eat pierogies anymore, makes her nauseous"
It makes Blair laugh a little. Then, when she doesn't hear Dan laugh with her, her smile fades away.
"I lied to you because I know you, Dan" she says softly "I know that you are a good person that cares about his friends and always does the right thing. I admire you for it, and it makes me want to be like you. That's why I lied. Because to you, doing the right thing for Nate would have been telling him. To me, doing the right thing for Vanessa was to hide her secret, while she figured things out"
Dan remains silent, but she can hear his breathing has eased. She settles deeper into her bed.
"It's your fault, you know. You shouldn't have come into my life and made me be friends with Vanessa"
Dan laughs at that.
"I guess there is a bit of truth in that" he says "It does feel weird that you seem to be more her friend than I am, right now"
Blair bites her lip, understanding he is talking about his fight with Vanessa at the beginning of the summer. She doesn't think she has ever felt so guilty in her life before. Toward Dan Humphrey, out of all people.
"Did she tell you what we fought about?" Dan asks, precautious.
Blair catches her breath "No"
Dan lets a silence settle, before asking in a soft voice "Do you know?"
At this point, it doesn't even occur to Blair to lie. She is tired of feeling guilty.
"Yes" she answers "I was the one who found it. And I wasn't sure if it was actually amazing, or if I was biased by my feelings for you. So I showed it to Vanessa." She pauses "Are you mad?"
"I don't know" Dan says, voice still soft "I don't think so. I just…we said we were never going to hide anything from each other, and look at us"
Blair presses her eyes shut. She doesn't like the doubt in his voice.
"I know. But we can't be open about everything, right away" she says "If there are things that I need to talk to you about, some of them will require time. And courage. And I know it's the same for you"
"Yeah, I guess" Dan replies, thoughtful, then he sighs "Let's stop talking about this. How are you planning on spending your last day of summer vacation at the castle?"
"Actually, I'm leaving tomorrow. I'm going to spend the last day in Paris" Blair smiles, happy that he changed the subject.
"Sounds like a great idea" Dan says "And in that case, I have a poem to suggest. Baudelaire"
"Read it to me"
"You should really read it tomorrow, in Paris" he says, but she hears him fumble in his library.
"I want to hear it from you" she sighs.
It takes him a few minutes for Dan to find the book, and when he does, he starts reading to Blair; voice soft and steady. Blair knows the poem in French, but she doesn't tell him. She lets him read, listens to his voice meddling with the sound of the wind coming from her open balcony.
X
Saying that she isn't ready to go back to New York would be the climax of euphemisms. But Blair has always felt this way about Paris; not ready to leave it. It's too convenient, too suitable for dreams and relaxing fantasies. She took advantage of Eleanor and Cyrus's cruise to come, and enjoy some quiet alone, for the first time all summer. And Paris happens to be perfect, for quiet.
In the Musée d'Orsay, Blair stands in front of Le Déjeuner sur L'Herbe, like she always does.
"You know, a little more than a year ago, I found you in the exact same place. Remember what you told me?"
Another perfect thing about Paris; how one cannot help feeling more in love than they already are. For just a second, Blair is sure that she is hallucinating Dan's voice in her ear. But she can somewhat feel him, having getting used to an unbelievable point to his presence. She smiles, turning around slowly.
He is indeed there, plaid shirt, worn out jeans, hands behind his back and grin on his face. His hair is longer, she hates it. It doesn't feel like they haven't really seen each other in fifty eight days. It feels like he has somehow always been there.
"I told you that I didn't want to hear you or see you" Blair answers "I wanted to pretend you didn't exist. Leave it to you to do exactly the contrary and make me fall in love with you, instead"
"You know I'm always up for a challenge" Dan shrugs.
Then he takes a step closer, he leans down and presses softly his lips on her. He doesn't touch her, just kisses her. Blair closes her eyes. She missed it. She opens them when he leans back up.
"What are you doing here, Humphrey?"
"I wanted to see you"
"I was coming back tomorrow" Blair rolls her eyes.
"I know. But there is something I wanted to talk to you about, and I figured Paris is just as good as any other place. I couldn't wait"
Blair lets out a deep sigh. Somehow, she even missed his writer's psychological introspections.
"What's on your mind?"
Dan grimaces slightly, trying to find the right words.
"After our phone call, yesterday, I took Léon for a walk around the city, tormented by an all-consuming, paralyzing thought"
Blair raises an eyebrow, and suggests "Why am I walking around the city when I live in Brooklyn?"
Dan ignores that "What would we have done, if it had been you? Pregnant, I mean"
Blair narrows her eyes on him, trying to understand where he is getting at. Dan shakes his head.
"I thought, and thought, I could hear you talking about plausible deniability and stuff" he says "And then I realized that I was actually more freaked out, when I learned that Vanessa was pregnant, than when I thought it might be you"
"Humphrey, I don't understand what you're saying" Blair stomps lightly her foot, annoyed.
"Béatrice implied that you might be pregnant, and my reaction to that was to go to bed, and go shopping the next day. I think I knew that you would have told me yourself, and sooner if it were true. But the thing is, I don't think Béatrice was lying"
And then he looks at her, dead in the eyes, and Blair feels like he is cracking her open. She takes a calming breath.
"I think she made an assumption, based on true facts. You didn't drink much, because you are serious and dedicated, and you wouldn't want to compromise yourself while working" Dan says, and then he frowns "As for the other thing, I know you're not pregnant. You're –"
Blair's first reaction is to put her hand on his mouth, to stop him from saying more. She doesn't want to hear it, and less from his mouth. Dan is still looking at her, Blair cannot quite say what he is feeling. Slowly, slower than she has ever moved, she brings her hand down.
Dan swallows "You're bulimic again"
He sees Blair's eyes lose focus, like she is trying to look anywhere but at him, and become a bit glassy. He waits for her to respond, half hopes that he is wrong and that she will deny it.
"I didn't mean for it to happen" she whispers eventually, looking down. Dan knows she is crying, but the shake of her body comes more from her bitter laugh "I don't know what to say, it's stupid"
Dan takes one hand from behind his back to lift her chin, forcing her to look at him again.
"Don't say anything" he kisses her, quick "We'll talk about it, but right now, there is something I would like to say"
Blair wipes her wet cheek and looks at him while he takes his other hand from behind his back. He is holding her shoe, the one she left him.
"This is the only thing I took with me, along with my passport. I was short on time, and I couldn't wait"
Dan's eyes never leave hers while Blair watches him lower to the ground, and eventually rest on one knee.
"Humphrey, what are you doing?"
The question she means to ask is really 'Are you having a stroke?', because she knows exactly what he is doing. She has read the books, she has seen the movies and heard the stories. She just finds it unbelievable that less than a minute ago he was making her face her disorder and now he is kneeling in front of her, legit proposal position and holding out her shoe, not giving a damn about the Japanese tourists that stopped to look at them.
"Blair" Dan says, and takes a deep breath "On the plane to come here, I had about seven hours to list in my head why doing this is beyond stupid. I came down to three reasons. One: we've only been dating for eight months, which I know in the Upper East Side is like three decades, relationship wise, but in the real world, it's not that long. Two: we are like, crazy young. None of us even has a college degree yet, and only one is legally allowed to drink. Three: there are stuff going on back home, which are probably going to make us pick a side, and I have a feeling we won't be on the same one. But come on, who are we kidding? We're never going to leave each other, it's a fact. And now that you are going through some things that I personally don't understand, I wanted to show you that I don't want to be just there exactly when you need me. I want to be always there. Always. And so, really, I don't care if it's today, or tomorrow, or in ten years; but someday, Blair Cornelia Waldorf, will you marry me?"
He asked with a smile, as if he already knew his answer, and Blair wonders when Dan Humphrey became so incredibly confident as to knowing what she wants. And she is still crying a little, but leave it to him to turn her tears of sorrows into weeps of joy. Still, she doesn't want to give him the satisfaction, not yet.
"I don't know your middle name" she says.
Dan laughs "It's Jonah"
Blair nods "Okay. Ask me again"
"Will you marry me?" she wasn't even done talking when Dan asks again, impatient to fall into the next moment with her.
Blair's left foot leaves her shoe, and she holds her balance on his shoulder to slide it into the one he is holding. She doesn't know if she is happier about getting her shoe back, or what it now represents at her foot.
"Yes" she says, and it feels easy "Someday, I will marry you, Daniel Jonah Humphrey"
His smile widens, Blair is certain that so does hers. He stands up, and it's only the next logical step to bring her into his arms, and kiss her. People around them clap, and they laugh on each other's lips.
Blair shakes her head when they separate "Our parents are going to lose it"
"Actually, I was thinking we could keep it to ourselves" Dan kisses her on the cheek, because he can't seem to stop touching her.
"Like a secret engagement?" Blair asks "It's tacky"
"It doesn't concern anyone but us, though. Don't you think?"
Blair thinks for a moment. There are still butterflies in her stomach flying wildly around.
"Actually, I might like the idea"
Dan grins at her "Good. Now let's get out of here"
He leans to pick up the solitary shoe she left on the ground, and lifts her in his arms when he stands back up. As he makes his way out of the museum, people who witnessed everything cheer, people who didn't see watch them curiously and Blair laughs in the crook of his neck.
In her Parisian bedroom, she gets rid impatiently of his clothes, and it makes Dan laugh. She says she wants to keep the shoes on, and he pretends he doesn't like the idea, but really he loves it. They roll around on her bed; Dan kisses her, never stops kissing her, and thinks about how unlikely it would have been to him to be living this moment, four days ago.
They make love until the sun goes down, and even after that. The next morning, they eat breakfast in bed, and they can't seem to stop smiling. Before going to take the plane, they go to sit in the Jardin des Tuileries, and gaze at the Eiffel Tower. Blair sips on a glass of wine, fingers tangled in his curls and Dan recites Victor Hugo's poetry with his head resting on her lap.
It's not until they are sitting in the plane, getting ready to head back home that Dan realizes the extent of what they are doing. It's fucked up. Blair smiles at him, and he smiles back, dismissing the thought.
Because somehow when it comes to fucked up with Blair, it's always the good kind.
Next chapter will address the reasons of Blair's relapse, and Inside, and Natessa's baby, and the secret engagement. I think it's going to be fun -a bit stressing for the characters, though.
I hope you will all be there for it.
I love you all!
xo