Disclaimer: I do not own Love Hina or Rick and Morty.
-oOoOoOo-
Keitaro was walking as he carried a Technological-looking box labeled 'Keitaro'. Right behind him was an old man with wild hair and dressed in a lab coat. He carried a similar box, but it was labeled 'Rick's stuff".
"Careful with all that, Keitaro. One hard hit to either of the boxes and all your crap and my stuff goes flying out," the old man said.
"You didn't have to come with me, Grandpa Rick," Keitaro said as they waited at a crosswalk. As they crossed, Keitaro added, "Really, I'd be fine at the Hinata."
"That'd mean I'd be spending my time with your bitch of a mother and listening to her rant about 'saving face' and how you failed because of a promise to a girl you barely remember. You'd think her husband would stand up for you, but he's a spineless jellyfish, even though he's my son," Rick grumbled. "At least her equally-bitchy mother is willing to put her money where her mouth is, instead of trying to hide behind imaginary honor among people who don't give a crap about anyone but themselves."
"Could you at least be nicer when talking about my parents and Granny Hina?" Keitaro asked.
"Piss off. I'm a senior and can say whatever the damn hell I feel like, Keitaro," Rick shot back when they arrived at the stairs of the Hinata, Rick sarcastically said, "Gee, I'm so glad Hina thought about everyone in wheelchairs and crutches and fixed these stairs up for them."
"Grandpa Rick, I think that path is a bit down the street," Keitaro said.
Rick sighed before he replied, "I take back what I said about Hina. she's worse than her daughter."
Rick then looked at the Teashop, which had a 'Temporarily closed' sign. Putting down the box and grabbed his flask, Rick said, "Keitaro, notice anything unusual here?"
Keitaro looked around before he answered, "Haruka's store is closed?"
"Got it in one, Keitaro. Any thoughts on why a workaholic like Haruka would have her shop closed?" Rick asked before taking a swig of his flask.
After a few moments, Keitaro shook his head. Rick sighed before he picked up his box and said, "Let's head up to the Inn. I doubt she'll be there, but let's see if the old bitch will give us a room."
-o-
Once inside the Hinata, both Keitaro and Rick put down their boxes.
"I'm going to go soak in the hot springs, while you talk to Granny Hina," Keitaro said as he tried to walk away.
Rick grabbed Keitaro's shoulder to stop him. He said, "Wait, Keitaro! Can't you smell it?"
"Smell what?" Keitaro asked.
"Stop and smell the fucking air!" Rick ordered in an annoyed tone. Keitaro took a few sniffs, but looked at Rick in a confused way. "...Everytime I think you couldn't get more stupid, you go and surprise me."
"Sorry, Grandpa Rick," Keitaro sheepishly said.
"Since you can't tell, I'll tell you what I just smelled. I can't smell anything man-scent here. You know what that means?" Rick asked.
"That Granny Hina's had a long line of women getting rooms here?" Keitaro answered with a grin.
"Sorta on the right track, Keitaro. But the full answer is Hina's probably got a hard-on for raising Daughters on(burp)ce more, which me-means…" Rick began, hoping Keitaro would finish.
"Intruders! Male Intruders!" A dark haired would-be samurai girl yelled as she drew her bokken.
When she rushed at the two, Rick pulled out his freeze gun and fired it. The Samurai girl instantly was frozen.
"Motoko!" Another girl yelled.
"Sounds like tr-(burp)-trouble, Keitaro," Rick said as a long-haired with hair-antenna lady wearing a thick sweater appeared. Fury was etched on her face as she ran around the frozen Motoko with a fist raised. Another shot and the furious girl was frozen as well.
"Rick! What the hell are you doing here?!" a woman's voice yelled from outside.
"Oh, it's Haruka. Your face-saving bitch of a sister threw Keitaro out because he failed a test and refused to give up his 'promise girl'. So I offered to take him someplace and get him a nice place to live. He refused and wanted to come here," Rick said before letting out a loud burp. He had made quotation finger signs when he said 'promise girl'. "So where's Hinata?"
"She just went on her world tour. Now unfreeze Motoko and Naru!" Haruka demanded with fire coming from her eyes.
"Al-al-alright, but you better stop them from trying to at-(burp)attack us," Rick said as he fiddled with his freeze gun. Haruka quickly stepped between the two men and the two frozen girls.
Once Rick unfroze the two furious tsunderes, Haruka yelled, "Stop it now, girls!"
"But those two perverts have entered this sacred-" Motoko began, while Naru said at the same time,"They froze Motoko and-"
"Shut it!" Haruka yelled with a glare aimed at Naru. "We're going to have a tenant meeting. Go get the others and bring them to the living room, now!"
"Haruka-" Naru began.
"I gave an order!" Haruka yelled. Motoko and Naru quickly left. She looked back at Rick and Keitaro and said, "Now follow me and don't do anything stupid."
"That's gonna be a hard one for Keitaro," Rick muttered as he took another swig from his flask.
"You as well, Rick," Haruka replied as she led the two men to the living room.
"So why so many women here?" Rick asked as he and Keitaro sat down on a couch.
"Granny Hina decided to change the inn to a girls' dorm a couple years back," Haruka answered as everyone sat down.
After a few minutes, Motoko and Naru led Kitsune and Su into the living room.
"New playmates?" Su asked.
"You're all too young for me and I prefer redheads," Rick said before he burped.
"And you're too old and not the right kind of drunk for me," Kitsune said, clearly not impressed with Rick. She looked at Keitaro and a smile formed on her face as she thought of ways to scam him.
"Alright, The younger one is Granny Hina's grandson, Keitaro. The other is a drunken ass named Rick Sanchez. As for Granny Hina, she left to go on her world trip. She left me this," Haruka said as she put a letter on the coffee table.
The letter had Keitaro's name on it, so he grabbed it and read the contents inside. He let out a shocked gasp as he said, "Granny Hina left the Inn to me?"
"What?" The Female Tenants all yelled as they snatched the letter away and tried to read it.
"Wow. Any other guy would think you got really lucky. But I know Hina. This whole thing is probably nothing more than to meddle in your life and get you married," Rick said before taking another swig. "Take my advice, Keitaro. Forget love and marriage. Stick with science."
"But the promise girl! I gotta get into Tokyo University to meet her!" Keitaro exclaimed. He then glared at Rick and said, "Besides, didn't you call me stupid?"
"That's because your damn head's in the clouds, thinking of love. If you applied yourself, then you'd prove yourself to be a kickass scientist like your dear old Grandpa!" Rick explained before he burped once again.
"This can't be true! Granny Hina must've made a mistake!" Naru yelled before Rick snatched the papers from her.
After a few moments of reading the letter, Rick said, "Looks cut and dry. Keitaro owns the place."
"Yay! New playmates!" Su exclaimed with a smile. Rick stared at her, getting a feeling she was hiding something.
"What was Granny Hina thinking?" Keitaro thought out loud.
"Clearly, she must have made a mistake," Motoko said. Looking at Haruka, The Samurai said, "Haruka, let me correct this error by throwing them out!"
"Denied. You have no idea how scary Rick can be in a fight," Haruka said, glaring at Rick.
"Haruka, he beat you in a fight?" Kitsune asked, wondering if Keitaro was too dangerous a target to be scammed.
"Several, but I blame my aunt for starting them," Haruka spat out.
"She did make a mistake by having a son," Motoko muttered.
Motoko was surprised when she got a furious glare from Haruka. Haruka opened her mouth to say something, but Rick slapped Keitaro on the back of his head and said, "You go-gonna let her say that, Keitaro? Be a man and stand up for yourself and your mom. Grandpa believes in you!"
"Really?" Keitaro asked, sounding like a mix of uncertainty and happy that Rick believed in him.
"Yeah!" Rick said before he pointed at Motoko. "I-If he wins, then you not only have to accept us being here, but you have to help him out in his manager duties!"
"And if I win, then the two of you will have to leave this place forever, but also give the property back to Granny Hina!" Motoko replied with a glare.
"Deal!" Rick said before he shoved Keitaro off the couch. "Now git outside and fight! Grandpa Rick demands it!"
Within moments, everyone was outside, watching Keitaro and Motoko prepare to fight with Bokken.
Rick was taking a swig from his flask as Kitsune asked, "So what's in that?"
"Why should you care? You'll never have a taste," Rick answered, taking another swig. Kitsune narrowed her eyes, as she didn't like being denied alcohol.
"I bet you're scared! Motoko's never been beaten!" Kitsune replied
Before Rick could answer, Haruka said, "Rick defeated her in mere moments when he came here today."
"...What?" Kitsune asked, wondering just how bad things would be getting if Motoko lost.
"Freeze gun," Haruka said, as if that explained everything. A worried Kitsune turned her attention to the fight.
To Motoko's surprise, Keitaro easily dodged each and every attack she threw at him. "Stay still and receive your punishment!"
"No!" Keitaro cried out as he dodged another flurry of attacks. He didn't want anyone else to know, but even he was surprised by the fact he was dodging everything Motoko was throwing at him.
No matter how Motoko swung, thrust, or moved, Keitaro dodged by mere centimeters. Motoko thought he was mocking her by how scared he looked as he expertly dodged her.
"Be a man and attack!" Motoko yelled as she thrust her bokken at Keitaro, who dodged it by stepping to the left. When she altered her attack to a swing, Keitaro dodged it by limbo-ing.
"Are you going to give your spineless brainless grandson more commands?" Naru asked with a glare to Rick.
"I don't know. Are you going to stop being a bitch?" Rick asked, glaring back.
Keitaro tried to swing, but his 'attempts' were either so slow or inaccurate that a tiny bit of Motoko's anger turned into pity.
"I don't know. Are you going to stop being a rude asshole?" Naru mockingly spat as she stepped closer to Rick.
Eventually, one of Keitaro's swings wound up throwing his bokken into the air.
"I don't know. Are you going to get that stick outta your ass?" Rick quickly asked back.
"What a piteous opponent. This is worse than trying to fight a chi-" Motoko said right before Keitaro's bokken hit her on the head. She fell forward, falling on Keitaro, knocking to the ground. Keitaro's face was pressed against Motoko's bosom.
"Keitaro won!" Haruka called out, getting Naru's attention. Kitsune grimaced, while Su looked shocked. The latter stared at Rick for a moment, her eyes getting a weird gleam to them.
"What? How?" Naru yelled as Rick and Haruka walked over to Keitaro and the unconscious Motoko.
"Bokken to the head, hitting her right on Nature's snooze button," Rick answered as Haruka picked up Motoko. "Well, Keitaro. How was the fight?"
"Why did you put me through it, Grandpa Rick?" Keitaro asked as Rick helped him up. A sticker fell off the back of Keitaro's head and burned to a crisp once it hit the ground.
"To get respect from these bitches, you gotta beat up the strongest one!" Rick happily explained.
"No, that's prison. This is a women's dorm," Haruka quickly said as she laid Motoko against a tree and began to rummage through her pockets for some smelling salts.
"Eh, who cares? Betcha she'll get a crush on my grandson after this," Rick said before he began to drink some more.
"No, she won't!" Naru yelled as she stomped her way over. "She hates men!"
"And why does she?" Rick asked. Motoko slowly came as Haruka waved some smelling salts under her nose.
"It's because… Because…." Naru began, quickly realizing she knew little of her fellow dorm mate. After a few moments, she decided on an old standby. "Men are perverts! All of them."
"What happened?" Motoko asked as Haruka helped her up.
"You lost," Haruka said.
"What? No… It… It can't be true," Motoko uttered in horror.
"Get used to it, sweet cheeks. We're here to stay and your honor will make you Keitaro's right hand while you're here," Rick answered.
Motoko stared at him for a few moments before she ran to her room. Naru glared at the two men before she ran off after Motoko. Kitsune and Su soon followed after the two.
"You really are a jerk, Grandpa Rick. You know that, right?" Keitaro asked as he tried to glare at Rick.
"Eh," Rick said as he wandered to the Inn. "Might as well select our rooms.
-o-
Late that night, Rick snuck into the Tea shop, where the old inn tenant records were kept.
He took out a small orb, which began to fly around the room. He ordered, "Al-alright. Go scan the records and discover what young girls around the age of six were at the Inn back in 1984. Max age being like… nine. Minimum age a few months old."
Light shone out of the little robot before it said, "Records indicate that three within such parameters were at the Inn. Naru Narusegawa, Mutsumi Otohime, and Mizuho Fujisawa."
"Huh... interesting…" Rick muttered as he grabbed the robot and put it back in his pocket. "Maybe Keitaro was a player like his grandpa back then?"
-oOoOoOo-
Notes from HotelKatz:
I wrote this in bits and pieces over my breaks during work over several month some time ago.
For this fic, I guess I was inspired by Rick and the Louds by Comicfan97 and the Rick segments of I Just Walk Away by MadHat886.
In a way, this fic is a bit of a gift to Mz340, simply because of the pairing.