Chapter One

Unassuming little Yuri captured my heart. From that first time I saw him skating my routine, I sensed something instinctively about him that it took me a long time to put to words. His movements weren't as smooth, muscles weren't as trained or flexible as even the beginners I'd trained with. But in every extension, every step, every turn of his head, I felt his heart shining through. It struck me hard, like a physical blow to my heart.

I wasn't sure what to do with this feeling, so I did the only thing I could; stuck to him like glue and tried to bring out every ounce of his potential. I did my best. I don't think I was the best coach and he deserved better, but I wanted to see my art stretched over his body. Wanted to be as close to him as physically possible, as if we were one. And then the day came when he said he was going to retire. And I couldn't be his coach anymore.

There he sat on the hotel bed across from me, his cute, innocent head bowed as he said the words that broke my heart. He thanked me and told me my job as coach was done. In sadness and frustration and anger, I couldn't speak. But as I struggled to respond, hot tears dripped down my face. One caught Yuri's attention.

"Victor?" he mumbled in amazement. "Wha-…why are you sad?"

I sighed heavily, feeling like I'd been bitten by a beloved pet. "To think I'd ever hear Katsuki Yuri acting so selfish."

"Yes. I made this decision selfishly," Yuri said, calmly. "I've decided to retire."

More tears dripped down my face as Yuri's calm, logical voice twisted the knife. We'd only been together less than a year. I'd forced myself on him from the start, but I had started it and I should finish it, I thought selfishly. So short a time, but even so, the idea of going on without Yuri tore me apart.

His fingers entered my vision, brushing aside my bangs to see my eyes. He blinked up at me with those black, innocent eyes, fascinated. I frowned at him in irritation. "Yuri. What are you doing?"

"Sorry…I'm just surprised," he murmured, watching me so affectionately. "So even Victor cries."

"I'm angry!" I protested, grabbing his wrist.

Yuri frowned back at me. "You're the one who said we would just be together until the Grand Prix Final."

"Yes, back when I thought you needed me more that you apparently do," I answered.

"Do you mean you won't skate again?" Yuri didn't seem to want to accept this. He almost seemed angry, but I couldn't imagine why. He looked away, frowning in frustration. "You've already done too much for me-"

"Are you really telling me that you're just going to retire and leave me to go on alone?!" I demanded, losing control of my anger.

I pushed him down on the bed and made him look hard into the eyes he'd made tear up like this. He watched me helplessly, seeming to want to reach out to comfort me but holding himself back. His fingers tightened on the sheets beneath him.

Even as I tried to maintain my anger, I started imagining not being able to be together with Yuri like this anymore. Not being able to see my heart in his moves anymore. Never being able to watch him pour all our work together into his beautiful skating, knowing part of me went with him. And more than just not being his coach anymore, if Yuri quit, I'd never get to see him skate again. It felt part of my love was dying.

And then I couldn't hold it back anymore. I sobbed and pressed my face to his narrow chest. I cried into his chest loudly like a child, gripping his jersey. I kept waiting for him to cry too, but even though Yuri was normally such a crybaby, somehow he was completely in control now. Eventually, his hand covered one of mine. As my sobbing subsided, I held his hand. I resituated myself on the bed and lay down on top of him, my head resting on Yuri's shoulder.

"Okay," Yuri said, his soft voice echoing into my ear. There was so much darkness in his voice; he had no hope. I didn't understand what made him feel this way, and the simple fact that I couldn't reach him to console him was hurting me. It meant my presence wasn't as big in Yuri's heart as I'd thought. At the same time, I didn't want to admit the fact that a small part of what he'd said was true: seeing Yuri do such beautiful things, I had begun to miss skating very badly. But skating without Yuri? It wasn't worth it. I'd rather let my skating self die than kill Yuri's beauty in exchange.

"Tomorrow is my last free skate in this competition," Yuri said, and again the darkness there echoed as a sharp pain in my chest. "And mine and Victor's last skate together," he went on, not even a trace of sadness as he did. I bit my lip as another wave of tears dripped onto Yuri's shoulder. "After that, we'll both give our answer. Of what we should do from now on."

I sighed, pushing my head into his shoulder, wishing badly there was a way to be closer. Wishing I could touch his heart with mine, so we could understand each other better. I already felt no one understood me better than Yuri, and vice versa, but apparently it wasn't enough. To my relief, Yuri's arms crept around me. His hand gently stroked my hair.

I nodded a little. "All right. If you say so, Yuri. Tomorrow." I took his right hand in mine, the cold of our rings soon warming to our combined heat. "And you'd better not be distracted. Whatever happens, make me fall in love with you all over again."

Yuri's lips tightened in a painful smile. He closed his eyes and pressed his forehead to mine. Even this sweetness hurt, thinking it would soon be out of reach.

The next day, Yuri and I had a little difficulty speaking to each other as we normally did, but we still touched now and then. Reassuring each other that even though it hurt, even if our relationship might change, our feelings wouldn't. I spoke to Yakov before Yuri's free skate. I hugged the Russian Yuri, even though he tensed up like a little cat. I needed help.

Finally, it was Yuri's turn. I said the only thing I could think of to draw Yuri's heart back into skating. He watched me, hurt for an instant, and then a brilliant, painful smile bloomed over his face. He hugged me and sobbed in pain and joy, almost laughing.

"I really want to kiss a gold medal," I whispered in his ear. He nodded into my shoulder. He started to drift away. He grasped my fingers one more time, our rings almost touching. And then he took the center of the ring. From that moment until the end of his last free skate, a thousand times he broke my heart, and made me love him all over again.

He had never looked so beautiful. Every jump was perfect, but few even noticed. Not when love was pouring out of him like a wave. There was no dry eye, no heart unmoved by Yuri's love. And even as I watched Yuri perform his perfect program, I lamented the loss of my heart. Because from now on, whatever happened, Yuri would always hold it.

The music ended. Yuri stopped, his fingers outstretched toward me. His eyes held mine and I knew it had all been for me. Everything he'd done, most of his life had been spent trying to reach me. Even running away was for me; he couldn't bear to gain my wings only to never see me fly again. And I realized we'd both been thinking the same thing. I loved him so much.

I opened my arms to hold him. Even so, I knew he was tormented at this moment. Now it was my turn to be calm as Yuri broke down, waiting for the final blow on our relationship to fall. He didn't return my hug as he exited the rink. In a haze, he let me guide him to the scoring area and we sat to wait. Of course, he got a great score. He was first, and it would take quite a lot for one of the remaining competitors to beat him. But among them was the Russian Yuri. And I think we both felt then, although we couldn't be sure, that he had still more to give.

In the end, I didn't get to kiss Yuri's gold medal. And yes, that was disappointing. Not in Yuri, but in myself. I had known he had gold in him and I had failed in convincing him of the fact. I couldn't quite gather the right words to say to him. But as always, Yuri easily did what I could not.

"Well, Yuri?" I pressed, forcing him back against the railing. "What can you give me that's as exciting as a gold medal? Any ideas?" A flush rose to his cheeks and I smirked. "Did you think something naughty?"

After a moment of insecurity, his expression hardened with determination. Yuri tackled me to the ground and said the words that sent my broken heart soaring. "Victor! Please, skate with me for one more year! I'll get that gold medal!"

I couldn't help getting a little teary with all the joy in me at that moment. "I like it! I'm a little worried about coaching you while skating for myself too. At the very least, I'll need you to win five in a row to satisfy me."

Yuri's eyes filled with joyous tears to match mine and he smiled. "Yeah," he whispered.

It took a while to come down from the high of seeing Yuri perform so perfectly, and then hearing those wonderful words from him. But even as we celebrated with everyone, I think we both had the same idea in mind. We held hands almost the whole evening, and as soon as we could, snuck back to our hotel room alone.

My body was still tingling from his performance. I couldn't wait anymore to confirm how Yuri felt about me, to be as close as physically possible to him. As we entered the room, Yuri closed the door behind us and turned his face up to me. I cupped his face in my hand. He caressed my cheek. I couldn't stop. I kissed him deeply as I'd always wanted to.

Yuri's breath came hard as he trembled in my touch but tried in his inexperienced way to hold me as I held him. There was no resistance or embarrassment; he trusted and loved me with his whole heart, as he knew I did him.

Desire was starting to make me lose myself. My hips pressed to his as I pulled him ever closer, causing Yuri to gasp into my mouth. His eyelashes fluttered as I performed the same action again. I was relieved and happy to feel Yuri as hard as me. I kissed him deeply one more time and then drew back to start undressing.

Yuri pushed my coat off my shoulders and I let it fall there. A thrill ran through me as his hands snaked up my chest, feeling all my muscles over my shirt. I shivered and grasped his wrist, encouraging his touch. He unbuttoned my shirt quickly and stood up on his toes to claim my lips again. I gratefully indulged in more kissing as he continued undressing me. I took off my belt as he pushed off my shirt, and then I ran my hands through his hair and kissed him hard.

"Victor," he whispered breathlessly against my lips. His cheeks were flushed, his eyes lidded and fluttering, his lips moist and parted; I had to fight myself hard not to keep kissing him. But then Yuri dealt the killing blow as against my lips he said sweetly, "My costume…unzip me…"

I physically doubled over a little with the effect those softly uttered words had on my cock. Wordlessly, I nodded. I allowed Yuri to turn around in my arms and placed both hands on his shoulders. The costume suited him so well, it was almost a shame to lose it. I ran my fingers through Yuri's hair a little with affection.

I located the top of his zipper. With great care, I slowly dragged it down as far as it would go. I watched with fascination as Yuri's pale skin was revealed beneath his sparkling costume. I couldn't stop myself from drawing in close and breathing in the skin of his neck. Yuri gasped and leaned back against me. I began kissing his neck as I slipped one hand deep down the front of his costume, pulling it down as I caressed his chest. I loved Yuri's sensitive reactions to my every touch.

As I pulled his arms out, Yuri turned back his head and claimed my mouth in a kiss again. To my delight, he pushed me back toward the back and as I sat there, he pushed me down, clasping both my hands in his and pressing them into the bed. Unlike any partner I'd had before, another thing that was currently thrilling me was that I had no idea whether Yuri would prefer to top or bottom, and I didn't care. I wanted to fill him up with me, but equally as badly I wanted to feel him thrust inside me. I could only run out some of this passion with kissing or I felt I might go crazy.

We managed to kick off the remainder of our clothes, and finally we looked at one another naked. Yuri's sweet expression tied my heart up in knots. He gave me two or three light kisses. Then his gaze traveled down to my chest. He shifted down the bed a little. In a move that practically broke my heart and made my cock start to ache, he leaned down and placed a gentle kiss over my heart.

I thought he might ask me what to do, but I realized there wasn't a right way to express our feelings. He wanted the same thing I did. He grasped one of my arms, first weaving his fingers through mine and then lovingly running his fingers lightly down my arm. He kissed the inside of my wrist and my bicep. He ran his hands down my chest again, feeling every bump and curve. I arched my back and shuddered.

Yuri whimpered a little and instinctively rolled his hips against mine. We both gasped. Yuri panted as he held himself over me, and moments later rolled his hips again. "Mm," I murmured, biting my lip and reaching a hand around Yuri's waist to encourage him to do that again.

Yuri cried out, increasing the pace without really knowing what he was doing. His elbows buckled and he collapsed on top of me, grasping me tightly as he thrust against me. His cock was brushing against mine and creating irresistible sensations from the top of my head to my toes.

"Yuri," I panted in his ear, grasping his hair. "It's okay, you can cum."

Yuri whimpered again, his hips shaking. He held me tight as he thrust again and again, and I barely held myself back from cumming. Finally, his whole body tensed just for a few moments, and then relaxed against me. I stroked his hair lovingly as he came down from his orgasm.

"Yuri…my love…" I whispered to him.

"Victor!" he cried, holding me tight again. "Ah…Victor…it won't go down…" he said, starting to sound tearful. He trembled and twitched and I realized he was right; his hardness was still pressed against my belly, now slick with Yuri's cum.

I kissed his forehead and cheek. "It's all right. I'll give you everything you need, Yuri."

Now pliable like a kitten in my arms, Yuri mumbled faintly and moaned as I drew his face up and kissed him again. I ran my hands all down his body and clasped his buttocks in both hands. He gasped, then trembled and made some adorable noises, his hips moving against me again.

With my lips brushing against his ear, I whispered, "Can I come inside you?" I reached around and ran my finger from his balls, down his taint and circled around his hole. "Here?"

Yuri trembled, his expression blissful. "Yes…"

Not having expected such an honest answer, I quickly bit my lip and turned away to stop cumming. Without wasting time, I tossed Yuri onto his back and suggestively grasped both his thighs, wrapping them around my waist. Before I could even ask if he were all right with this, Yuri took my face in both hands and whimpered sweetly as he kissed me.

"Victor…" he murmured, then captured my mouth with his again. He was a naturally good kisser, if a little awkward.

"Yuri…" I gently chided. "You're going to have to tone down the sexiness or I won't be able to keep up." Though even as I said this, I indulged in more of his sweet kisses. Yuri didn't seem to be listening though, just concerned with maintaining contact with my lips and tongue.

I tried my best to comply with his desires as I reached one hand into the bedside drawer. Luckily, this was a nice hotel and they were well supplied with things we would need. I fished out what felt like a single packet of lube and a condom and placed them on the bed beside us. Still trying my best not to break contact with Yuri's demanding mouth, I opened the lube and let it drip down his crack.

"Ah…" he murmured in surprise. "What's that?" he asked, though he looked more interested than nervous. I was so happy to see how much he trusted me and I swore never to betray that trust. I was going to make him feel amazing.

I kissed him softly before replying, "Lube." I pressed my hand into his crack and his lips parted with a quick inward breath. I swirled my finger around his entrance, loving the shiver that ran up his body as I did. "It's so I don't hurt you."

"You can hurt me," Yuri said, without a trace of hesitation.

I let my head rest on his shoulder in exasperation. "Yuri, I'm so happy you love me so much, but I'm angry you're not more concerned for your own body. It's a complicated feeling!"

"Victor," Yuri murmured, and he pulled my face up so it was inches from his own. In a manly voice that I'd rarely heard from him before and sent shivers down my spine, he said, "You can do anything you want to me."

"Ah…" I cried, having to tense my whole body to hold back the urge to cum. "Yuri…you're…a formidable opponent."

Yuri chuckled. "Keep going."

"Gladly."

I kissed him hard as I slipped the first finger inside him. Yuri barely made a noise. He returned my kiss with equal fervor, letting his muscles relax around my finger. I was amazed; for his first time, he got used to it remarkably quickly. Again my chest felt squeezed and I couldn't believe how lucky I was, realizing that was just how much he loved me.

As I inserted the second finger, I kissed and licked his neck, provoking sweet gasps. I touched him everywhere I could reach with my free hand as I kissed him all over. Finally I began licking the traces of cum from his stomach. Yuri moaned, letting his head fall back against the bed.

"Get ready. Third finger," I murmured, and the next moment, slipped a third finger in just as I wrapped my mouth around his cock.

"Ah…ah…" Yuri cried, his body tensing as he accidently thrust up hard into my throat. I choked a little but lovingly coaxed him in again as I pressed deep inside him. "Sorry, Victor…" he panted desperately, covering his eyes with his hands. "Please wait…I…it's too much…"

"Nn?" I muttered in slightly annoyance, reluctantly removing his cock from my mouth. "You're the one who said I can do what I want."

"But…I…I'm going to cum!" Yuri cried.

"Mm…" I answered simply, deeply swallowing his cock as I searched for his prostate.

"Kya!" he cried, a jolt running down his body.

Bingo.

"Ah…" Yuri cried, turning away tearfully. "No, Victor…not…in your mouth!"

Slowly, I pulled my mouth away from his cock. I smiled down lovingly at him. "On your chest is okay?" I inquired, swirling a finger around his nipple.

Yuri twitched, but reluctantly nodded.

"Okay." I gave him a light kiss on the cheek, then looked deep into his eyes. "Stay relaxed. It may hurt for a moment, but you'll be okay." Yuri regained his breath and nodded. He wrapped his arms around my shoulders and watched as I lined up outside him, rolling the condom onto my cock as I did. "Yuri…I love you."

"Victor!" he moaned, his nails digging into my shoulders as I slowly pushed into him.

"Ah…!" I cried as my hips pressed against his. Finally, I was inside him. Unfortunately, that fact and all his previous sexiness was pushing me too far. I gasped and trembled, grasping Yuri tight for support. "Uh-oh…sorry, Yuri…I didn't think…this would feel so good…ha ha…I'm in trouble…"

I looked up at his face to make sure he was okay. To my horror, I saw a tear run down his cheek. His lip was caught between his teeth, and I had a dreadful moment thinking he was in pain so great he couldn't even speak. But then he let his lip go and panted. With moist eyes, he looked up at me pleadingly.

"Victor…I'm sorry…" he said softly, and I was afraid he would say it hurt too much and he wanted to stop. Instead, he continued, "If you move, I think I'm going to cum again…"

I blinked. Unable to hold back, I began to laugh.

"Ah! Don't laugh…it echoes…" Yuri objected, his fingers tightening against my skin.

"Okay, Yuri. Go ahead and cum again. Feel me all the way to the deepest part of you," I murmured in my best sexy whisper. "My Yuri…"

"Victor!"

I pulled out a little and slowly pushed to his deepest point again. Sure enough, Yuri squeaked and tensed up again. His hole clamped down tight on me and I cried out, my head falling against him. Yuri trembled for a few moments and then collapsed back on the bed, gasping for breath.

"Yuri…" I murmured. "I want to let you rest but…I can't take it anymore. Can I go faster?"

"Victor…" he moaned, looking up at me again with unbridled desire. "More, please…!" he gasped.

I shivered. Capturing his mouth in a desperate kiss, thrusting my tongue in his mouth as my cock slid deeper inside his hole, I began to thrust harder and faster. It wasn't long before the wild sensations running through me robbed me of all other thought. Love for Yuri and happiness and relief and the amazing feeling of being so deeply connected brought me to near insanity. Pleasant feelings ran down my entire body and I couldn't think. I moaned against Yuri's mouth as a terrifyingly large orgasm swept over my mind.

"Ahhhh!" I cried, thrusting one last time as my love for him exploded in fireworks behind my eyes and I almost passed out.

"Victor!" Yuri gasped, grasping me tight.

It took a good minute of stillness for my head to return to normal. My body was still thrumming with adrenaline, my heart pounding and sweat dripping off me. To my own disbelief, my cock hadn't softened even a little.

I bit my lip with a moan. "Yuri…I'm sorry, bear with me a little longer…"

Yuri cried out as I pulled out of him for a moment, and did not object as I turned him over beneath me and pulled his hips up to meet mine as I knelt over him. Still shaking, I slowly but desperately inserted my cock inside him again.

"Nnngh!" Yuri moaned, his back arching as he bit down on the pillow in front of him. I reached around his waist to discover with delight that he was still hard too. I halfheartedly stroked his cock as I thrust lightly a few times, but then I couldn't take it anymore. I grasped his hips in both hands and pounded into him as hard as I could.

"Ah…ah…ah…!" Yuri cried, arching his back and matching my thrusts with ones of his own.

"Yuri…Yuri…" I mumbled, unable to hold back any longer. I loved him so much I feared I would really lose my mind.

Yuri pushed himself up on his hands and panted, turning his face toward me. I desperately clung to him and demanded more kisses as I fucked him. "Victor…" he gasped as our lips parted. "More…just a little…more…"

Then at once, we both screamed in agonized pleasure as the same orgasm hit both of us. It felt so good I felt tears reach my eyes. It ran down every inch of my skin like a wave. And again. I shivered as it kept on going, turning me into a puddle of exquisite sensation. Finally, the wave started to ebb. I couldn't speak or move for long seconds after. We both tumbled to the bed, regaining our breath. We held our right hands as we lay in the blissful afterglow. I caught Yuri's gaze and smiled, filled with love for him.

I thought he would smile back, but instead he pushed himself up and kissed me again. "Nn?" I murmured in surprise as he moved over me with a hard dick pressing against my hip. "Really, Yuri?" I laughed nervously. "I knew you had stamina, but I don't think I can…"

"It's okay," Yuri told me softly. He kissed me. "Just relax."

"Eh?" I murmured in surprise. I jumped as I felt cold liquid drip down my taint. While I wasn't looking, Yuri had already stolen my move from earlier, pulling another packet of lube from the drawer and opening it while kissing me. I watched in disbelief as he swirled a finger around my entrance. And even though I was spent, I shivered and moaned appreciatively as he prepared me. "Oh…I hoped you'd want to do that for me too…but…ha ha, I had expected a bit more of a break in between."

"I'm sorry," Yuri said in a husky, manly voice against my lips. "I want you so much, Victor. I can't wait." I smiled as shivers ran down my spine.

I hoped Yuri wasn't disappointed by the fact that I was even easier to prepare than he was, but he didn't seem to notice. After a few minutes teasing me into a puddle of sensation one finger at a time, Yuri slowly removed all fingers and pressed his throbbing cock against my entrance. I felt myself twitching against him and I ran my hands through his hair while arching my back like a pleased cat.

"Okay, Yuri. Show me what you learned."

Yuri swallowed, eyes locked on my lips. He kissed me once and then met my gaze with one of lustful intensity. "Victor," he murmured. And then he pressed my hair back and clasped my head in his hands possessively. "I swear, I'll surpass you someday. And then…I'll finally be worthy of you."

My eyes widened in shock at his statement. I'd always suspected he considered himself unworthy of me, but I had no idea it was to that extent. I smiled ruefully, shaking my head. That's my line, I thought. And I promised myself to spend all available time removing this inferiority complex from my adorable lover. "Show me what you got," I said against his lips.

Yuri pushed himself up to sit over me like a lion. Slowly, he slid his cock inside me. I choked out a cry, surprised at how sensitive I was after coming so recently. "Ah…just…take it easy at first, Yuri…you…ah!"

Yuri pulled out a little and then thrust deep inside me. White light flickered in my vision as sensations ran all down my body. He was still so hard and hot inside me, and the feeling was so different from being inside him. It was like he was claiming me. The feeling was overpowering and I clung to him as I lost my language and thought.

"Yuri…" I whimpered, rolling my hips blissfully against him. Every thrust of his hips reverberated deeper inside me, sending warmth through every inch of me. After thrusting deeply a few more times, he kissed me deeply and increased the pace.

I cried out like an animal as Yuri thrust faster inside me, hitting every sensitive place. "Ahhh…Yuri!" I screamed. I wanted to speak, I wasn't sure if I wanted him to go faster or stop but either way I could only cry out in desperation or form his name on my tongue. "Yuri…ahh…ah! Yuri!"

I think Yuri may have been crying a little but moments later he kissed me hard. "Victor!" he cried. "I can't stop…Victor! Ahh…I love you!"

I don't know how long he pounded my insides, but he came again and then kept on going, barely even stopping for breath. He fucked me until I literally passed out. My cock spurted against my will even as all the lights went dark. I woke to find a sweating, exhausted Yuri lying beside me, gently brushing my hair from my face and kissing my forehead.

"You passed out for a moment…are you all right?"

It took me a little while to respond. When I could, I shifted a little and pressed my lips to his. I smiled at him, even as love for him made my whole body feel weak and my heart feel made of glass. "Perfect," I told him.

Yuri gave me the cutest little joyful smile. It faded a little as he held my gaze. "I love you so much it hurts."

"Me too. Hey. Let's make a program about it."

"Both of us?"

I grinned. "I have an idea."