Caroline ran through the hallways of the hospital. She had managed to make it here in record time breaking several traffic laws on the way not that she cared all that much mind you. Her only concern was getting to Dean and Sam, was making sure that they were okay. She skidded to a halt at Dean's door bringing her hand up to her mouth to keep in the little sob that tried to escape. Her green eyes filled with tears at the sight of him lying there in the bed lifeless breathing with the help of machines. Tubes and wires every which way. She walks slowly over to the bed as if she was afraid that if she moved to fast it would shatter the odd mix of calm and agitation that had a strangle hold on the room.
He was alone for the moment and she wondered where Sam and John were she knew that they wouldn't leave him alone for long. She took a little hiccupping breath and sat in the chair beside his bed and took his cold hand in hers. "Dean…Dean come back please." she felt the energy in the room shift but she ignored it keeping all her focus on the man lying in the bed. He laid his big gentle hand on her shoulder and murmured, "He's not gone Care…he just…he just can't be gone yet." he sounded so lost and heart broken that her own heart almost shattered.
She brought her other hand up to rest on top of Sam's that rested on her shoulder. Giving it a little squeeze she whispered, "What happened Sam? Why is he like this?" her eyes never leaving Dean's still form she was terrified of the answer she would receive. "The demon it…uh…it got to us and then as we were driving trying to get Dean to a hospital we were hit by a truck. The driver was possessed." She nodded, she knew they were going down a dangerous path knew that something like this could happen but honestly she thought they were something akin to superman. Something like this shouldn't have happened Dean shouldn't be lying here so close to death.
"The doctor said that we shouldn't have much hope. That his chances of coming out of this aren't good.""What do they know anyhow? We know differently Sam we know that his chances are better than most."
"Come on Care dad's gonna wanna see you. Maybe you could tell him about Bonnie maybe she could help." He sounded so desperate not that she could blame him she was desperate to. At this moment she was willing to do anything to bring Dean back to them. "I don't know how much she can help but I'll call her. But I don't think telling your dad is such a good idea. Bonnie's a witch she maybe good but hunters hunt people like her." He nodded his eyes downcast and it made her sad. She'll do what she could search for anything that would help but she couldn't betray her friend. Such a fine ledge she walked.
She stood up her eyes falling back on Dean. His chest rising and falling with the help of the breathing tube. It killed her to see him like this banged and bruised a huge cut on his forehead. She leans forward pressing her hand to his cheek. "We'll be back Dean we wont leave you alone." she whispered into his ear ignoring the tear that fell from her eyes. She kissed his cheek tasting the saltiness of her tears. It hurt to pull away from him and to leave the room to leave him. But Sam took her hand in his and she felt a little better at the contact.
Caroline sat in the chair and crossed her legs primly as she eyed Sam and John. She could feel the tension rolling off them and not just from Dean's current predicament either. It made her a little mad. Here Dean was laying in that freaking bed looking pale and close to death he was in a coma for fuck's sake and they had the audacity to fight. Because yeah this was so the time for this shit. She frowned at them her green eyes going dark with her own anger. But she had been caught in the middle of Sam and Dean's arguments before and she knew that getting in the middle of these two Winchesters would likely be a dangerous thing to do.
"Why aren't you doing anything dad? Why?" Sam yelled his pain and anger at his father getting the best of him. The fight just kept escalading to the point they were both ready to explode. She knew she shouldn't step in that she should just sit here look pretty and worry about Dean and let Sam and John just have it out. But there was this…oh hell she didn't know how to explain there was just so much pain in this room that it was slightly suffocating. And the strange thing was she could feel Dean could feel him watching them eyeing them praying for the same thing she was. For them to just shut the fuck up and help Dean.
"Could you please shut up?" She asked quietly her eyes glued on the vase of flowers just off to the side of John's hospital bed. She has know idea why they all of a sudden seemed very interesting they just did. "Excuse me little girl?" John said his voice dangerously low warning her that she was on thin ice and better respect her elders if she knew what was good for her. But you see she loves Dean is so willing to put herself in the line of fire for those brothers. One who has her heart the other she loves like a brother so you see she doesn't know what's good for her. If she did she would have let Dean go a long time ago.
"I said could you please shut up. Your son is in that bed dying…" he cut her off with a vicious swipe of his hand. She still wouldn't look at him choosing instead to look at that stupid vase. She wasn't afraid to look at John no not at all. She has faced death before and compared to that John is not all that scary.
"Don't you think I know that?" He barked his dark eyes boring into hers. She turned her head slowly to look him in the eyes. She was so tired of all this right now all she wanted to do was go be by Dean's side. "and here you two are fighting about something stupid." She continued not missing a beat. He maybe able to rile up Sam but she refused to be baited that way. "And why are you here exactly? I thought my son ended things with you a long time ago."
She bit down on her lower lip until she tasted blood she wouldn't do this with him but truth is that comment hurt worse than she was willing to show him. Sam had called her had told her what was going on she had come because of him. She didn't know if Dean wanted her here at all and how could she its not like he could tell her. "Stop dad! She's here because I asked her to be. I needed her." Thank you Sam for saving me. Their argument continued as if she hadn't said a word. And you know what she thought. She was thinking how sorry she was that she couldn't help Dean in this way. But then again from what he said he had been trying to stop Sam and John arguments for years and he had failed each time. Didn't make the failure any easier though.
She knows how he feels now. She looked back at that vase ignoring the fight as tears pooled in her green eyes. Just as both of them began shouting their faces red eyes bugging looking so alike it was scary the glass of water that was sitting on the tray beside John's bed went flying against the wall shattering into a million pieces water spraying everywhere. They all looked shocked for a moment but then John's face became shuttered and she had no idea just what he was thinking about that. But when Sam looked at her she knew he was thinking the same thing she was. Dean was here.
Dean was in this room and he just let them know it to.
"Bonnie said we could Ouija him and see if he'll answer that way." She says slipping back into Dean's room. He looked up at her from his spot on the bed. He looked so sad it hurt to look at him so she looked away. Yeah she was a big chicken. "She really thinks that will work?" She shrugged still not willing to look at him. Or Dean for that matter. "Its worth a shot right?" she murmured looking around the room for anything that was safe to look at she settled on the floor the floor was safe no Dean in a bed dying no sad eyed Sam or pissed off and lost John. Just white and speckled black linoleum. Yeah the floor was a safe place.
Then the tips of Sam's boots stepped into her view and she felt him wrap his arms around her it was almost enough to make her shatter but by shear force of will she managed to keep it all in check. That was until he had to go and speak. "We'll get him back Care. He will come back to us." with that she shattered into a million pieces like that glass of water. All the emotions she had bottled up spilling over until she was sobbing like a baby in his arms. At one point his tears mixed with hers until neither one of them knew who was crying anymore. Still sniffling she pulled away and reached her hand up to wipe away the tears that lingered on his bruised and cut up cheek. "I know we will." Emotions firmly shoved back down and capped off tightly she gave him a smile that was meant to reassure but she was sure had the opposite effect. He nodded and left her alone with Dean to get the Ouija board.
She fell asleep in the chair beside Dean's bed her head by his arm her hand wrapped around his. She shouldn't be sitting here with him what if he didn't want her here what if she was dong the wrong thing. Caroline was a fairly confidant girl but underneath all that confidence was a scared little girl that was in need of approval from the people in her life. She hid it really well on most days. If asked most people would say that she wasn't afraid of a damn thing in her life. That she was pretty darn fearless. But ask those that knew her that could see past her bullshit and they wouldn't tell you a damn thing. Dean was one of those people.
He had always been able to see past all her fronts see through all the walls she put up to protect her heart and soul. It had almost killed her when he had told her he could never see her again. That his life was to dangerous for her that he never really cared about her that it was all a front to get into her bed and have a warm place to stay. But just as he had always been able to see through her bullshit she had always been able to see through his. She knew why he told her that knew why he distanced himself from her. Didn't mean that it didn't hurt any less she just understood. That was their thing after all. He hurt her and she understood. What a fucked up cycle they were on.
She was startled awake by a warm hand on her shoulder. She sat up and looked into John's dark fathomless eyes. Sam and Dean's eyes maybe different from their father but in color only they all shared the same fathomless eyes. So deep that a person could get lost in them and not care if they never came back. "I'm…I'm sorry Caroline I shouldn't have…" she cut him off with a shake of her head bringing her hand up to lay on top of his. "No its okay." He nodded letting the subject drop. It's not like either of them wanted to talk about it anyhow. There was always later. Always another time. Right? He took up the chair opposite of her. And they both sat there in silence looking waiting for any sign at all that Dean was coming back to them.
She drove to Bobby's letting Sam talk to Dean alone. Ouija Boards sacred her. One can never be sure just who one is talking to with those things. She pretty much thought they were evil. Give her one bit of proof other wise and she'll change her mind until then she'll keep her opinion. She made the big mistake of parking next to crushed Impala. Getting out of her car and shouldering her book bag she ran her fingers over the beloved steel. A lot of memories were made in this car. Too many to think about right now. She swiped furiously at the tear that dared fall. Stupid tears they always seemed to be falling.
"Hey doll." Bobby murmured coming to stand beside her. "Hey Bobby." she said looking up at him. He smiled at her one of those smile that was full of concern and a whole mess of other things. Bobby was good at those smiles he reminded her of Stefan in that way. It was a smile a man gave to people when he had seen and done things normal people could only imagine. In their worst nightmares that is. "Come on in the house Caroline." She smiled at him one that lacked any real emotion. She felt like she was dying on the inside. Every moment that Dean stayed in the coma it became harder and harder to feel anything.
After a long hot shower and changing into clean clothes she felt human again. Barely. He fed her and didn't talk didn't ask questions. That's what she likes about Bobby he just let you be. You knew he was there if you needed him but he didn't push unless he felt like you needed the push. "Do you know what John is up to?" she asks him suddenly. She knows John is up to something. She had seen that face on Dean one to many times to not recognize it for what it was. John Winchester had come to a decision that could affect them all. Mostly Dean and Sam. And she loved those boys and would protect them as much as she could. Except this time she didn't think she stood a chance in hell in protecting them from what was to come.
"No…at least I have an idea."
"And that would be?"
"He's gonna summon old yellow eyes. Why I don't know."
She nodded not really sure why he was going to do it. Until clarity smacked her upside her head so hard she felt like she was going to fall over. "Son of a bitch!" She snarled jumping to her feet anger boiling up in her. "What?" He asked surprised at her out burst and why wouldn't he? She was usually the quiet in the storm. Until you pissed her off that is. Green eyes met blue for a moment and just like that all her anger flew out the window. How could she be mad at him for that? He was doing this for Dean. For his son he couldn't sit there and watch his boy die.
Was it any less than what she and Sam would do for him? John just thought about it first. "Nothing Bobby…it was nothing." He looked at her with those soft blue eyes of his and in that moment she knew that Bobby knew exactly just what John was up to. He just didn't say it. She sighed and put her face in her hands sorrow for those brothers she loves rushing over her. John was going to hand himself over to that goddamn demon and there wasn't a damn thing she or Bobby could do about it anyhow.
She walked into John's hospital room only to find him standing fully dressed his arm in a sling. "Tell me why. I'm not your son's so you have no real reason to. But I'm asking you John…I'm asking you why?" He looked at her pain and shame, loss and determination burned in those deep depths. He didn't pretend to not know what she was talking about. She was glad for that. This wasn't a time to be playing games. "You know why Caroline. You know why I'm doing this.""For Dean?" It wasn't a question even though it was formed as one. She knew from the beginning why he was doing it. Didn't make it any easier. "This is going to destroy him John." He looked away from her focusing on that same damn vase she had. He rubbed a big hand through his thick curly hair. She loved John usually they were at each other throats but she loved him and never feared telling him so. He was there for her and mom when her dad died. He was there at a time when a little girl was lost, damaged and broken and he helped stitch her back up. But this, what he was doing now was going to kill Dean. Dean would forever be changed by his father's actions.
"I can let my boy just die.""There are other ways we're looking into other ways.""We're running out of time Caroline!""Don't do this Johnny…please just don't do this."
She pleaded with him and she could do it till she's blue in the face but the truth of it all was that he wasn't going to listen. His choice was made the minute he heard Dean's chance's of pulling himself out of this. He sighed and put a big hand on her upper arm. His touch was gentle but it conveyed everything he was feeling. All his loss his sense of urgency.
"I've already lost his mother to this thing please don't let me loose my boy. I…I may not have told him how I…how I feel but he's my boy. My first born the child that reminds me so much of Mary. Sam he's…he's all mine. Full of hate and revenge. The need to kill this thing that killed his girl. But Dean…Dean is all Mary. He's light to Sam's dark he's softer than he thinks he is. He loves with a ferocity that could only been seen in his mother. Sam can't loose that. He can loose me but he can't loose Dean." Tears pooled in her green eyes as she looked at him. His pain washed over her freeing her own.
"Sam may not be able to loose Dean but Dean can't loose you John. You're his father.""He'll understand one day.""Please John…please…"
The tears began to fall as he moved his hand up and down her arm. She felt like that little girl again. But this time that little girl was reaching out to Dean. She of all people could understand that kinda pain the kind of pain he was about to go through. "I have to do this Caroline. I have to save my boy." She nodded what else could she do his choice was already made. Once John Winchester made his decision there was no going back for the old man. She tossed herself at him already missing him before he was gone. "We'll find a way to free you John."
"They can't know darling."
"Then I'll find a way. I'll find a way to free you from the pit."
"I don't think that'll happen honey but if anyone can do it its you. You are just like your old man after all."
There's a heavy burden that comes with holding a secret deep in side one's soul like she was holding. The burden is so heavy that it wants to pull her down into a pit of empty blackness where she can free fall until the day she dies. It clouds her mind her heart and her soul. But she'll keep quiet she has to. She's there along with Sam when Dean wakes up. And for a moment the burden she carries is gone replaced by sheer joy. Sam yells for a doctor and all at once the room is flooded with doctors and nurses pushing her and Sam out of the way. They cling to each other like they were each others personal life raft. Sobs of joy rack her body as Sam cries silent tears of joy and relief. Dean was here Dean was alive. He was pulled back from the brink of death.
Dean shares a smile with Sam he doesn't remember a thing about being dead which she could figure is a good thing. He doesn't look at her but he refuses to let her hand go. And the guilt she feels is almost crushing like a fucking a tidal wave just dumped on top of her head. John walks in the room looking burdened and relieved. His deal had gone through Dean was alive and well. She had to look away from him and those eyes. If you knew what you were looking for you could find all the answers in John's eyes.
And of course like always when John was in the room Sam's testy side reared its ugly head. But John cut him off his lips trembling his eyes watering and you could see the fear in Dean and Sam's eyes. "Can we please just not do this Sammy? Please?" Sam looked wide eyed as he nodded. "Yeah…sure dad. Are you alright?"
"I'm good. You think you could get your old man a cup of caffeine?"
"Sure dad, anything."
Just as Sam walked by John pulled his youngest into his arms and hugged him like he had never hugged him before. She wiped away the tears that threatened to fall and refused to look Dean in the eye. "Caroline you think you could help him?" Standing up she nodded and kissed Dean on his cheek. She had already said her good-byes already told him she would never forget him. It was Dean's turn even if he had no idea what was coming. But all the same he grabbed her hand as she walked past him. He pulled her close and whispered in her ear as she leaned her forehead onto his chest.
His breath moved the delicate hairs by her ear and she wanted to break down at what he said to her. "Take care of them Caroline. I…never told you but you were like a daughter to me." He pulled away and kissed her forehead. She fisted her hands in his shirt a moment. Refusing to let him go just yet. But soon he was pushing her out the door. She found Sam at the coffee machine where you can get the world's crappiest coffee. Reserved only for hospitals and police stations. She would know the station in Mystic Falls had the same machine. Same model to.
He grabbed the coffee and they walked back to Dean's room his arm around her shoulder her arm around his waist. God forgive her for what she has done. And may Dean and Sam forgive her as well. Its fine really he's trying not to act as scared as he felt and she was trying not to show how guilty she felt. Their getting ready to walk past a room nothing unusual about that right? Except that there was. John lay lifeless on the floor his chest not even moving. Sam yells drops the coffee it spills all over the floor and like that damn glass of water it moves in slow motion. Seeming to fall forever until it splashed all over the floor and onto her boots. She doesn't even notice that last part.
She falls to her knees as Sam screams and nurses push their way through pushing him out or trying to at least. Dean shuffles his way over yelling "He's our dad! He's our dad and we're not leaving!" She watches them from her place out in the hallway. Her hand over her mouth as she cries. She crawls over to the wall where she falls to her butt pulling her knees up to her chest and bringing her head down to them. John was gone. The great John Winchester was dead. And there was no bringing him back. The doctor calls time of death and Sam sounding so lost and heartbroken yells, "No! No he can't…Dean! Dean he can't be tell me he's not!"