I couldn't handle it any longer. I couldn't sit there and watch Sue get hurt again. Maybe something is wrong with me; I shouldn't want to help her. But I'm her big brother and I can't let this keep happening to her. I sigh and push away the food in front of me.
"Sue, don't join the team. You suck at sports anyway!" I say, wincing a little because I knew it hurt her feelings. I didn't want her to get hurt though, and I couldn't see any other way to tell her that wouldn't make her suspicious.
Okay, here's the honest truth: I kind of, sometimes, maybe a little love my sister. She's a good girl. She's dorky and has terrible taste in clothes, but she is my sister and I would always stand up for her. Sometimes I have to stand up to her to stand up for her. I know it's complicated. I also know that she is the type of person who constantly hurts herself. She just wasn't meant to be popular. There wasn't anything wrong with it.
I throw a straw at Sue and then turn away when she yells "Axel!" because I did that just to irritate her. I am her brother after all. Mom says "Axel, go do your homework and quit picking on your sister!" I'm sorry, but she's so predictable. I roll my eyes and walk towards my room. I won't do my homework; it's not in me to do my homework. I toss a book off my bed; I'm fairly sure it's Brick's but it's on my bed and I won't let it be. I throw myself down on my bed.
A short while later, while I'm playing with a soft foam basketball (tossing it in the air), I hear a knock on the door. I hear "Axel, can I talk to you?" Sue asks tentatively. I sigh but I say "Sure Sue. Come in." Brick is in the kitchen working on a project. I only know because I can hear mom shrieking "You waited until the last possible day to do it again?! Brick, when will you ever learn?!" It's at this point I block mom's yelling out and focus in on what Sue is going to say.
"I… well, so you know Mat broke up with me…" She began, seeming sad to me. I raise my eyebrows. "Yes…" I say, trying to get her to explain more. She sits down next to my feet as I sit up, bringing my knees closer to hug them. "Well, I was wondering.. and please, don't be mean about this… but I was wondering what it is about me that guys don't like or don't want to stay with me." Her chin quivers and I know she's really hurt. A surge of anger shoots through me. I know that this is a touchy subject, so me being mean wouldn't help anything. While I'm not sure why she came to me for this, I know that I can't be a jerk this time.
"Sue, there's nothing wrong with you." I say, being completely honest. Dork or not, Sue is a great person. I genuinely think that any guy would be lucky to have her. I can't tell her that, though, because she would be offended or weirded out by me being too nice. "Mat just wasn't the one. I wouldn't sweat it though. You'll find someone." In my head, I finish that sentence with Someone who won't deserve you. That thought bothers me a little bit. I shouldn't think that way. It seemed a bit weird for a brother to think. Maybe I am just being protective. That seems normal, so I accept that as the truth.
Her eyes are brimming with tears and I don't know how else to deal with it, so I put my arm around her. It's at that moment that I realize that she kind of fits in my arm the way I'd want a girlfriend to. She just kind of melted right in and got cozy. I care too much about this situation because I want to wipe the tears from her eyes. In my mind, I see myself tilting her face towards me and kissing those soft looking lips gently. I shake my head, trying to get that errant thought out of my brain. I can't think those things about Sue. She's a dork.
I do it anyway, I wipe the tears from her eyes. I don't kiss her, because I'm not that stupid. At least not at that moment. I sigh as she leans into me more and I do something I shouldn't have done, but it's not something that she would have questioned, not like a kiss. I lean down a bit and I kiss the top of her head. I breathe in the scent of her strawberry shampoo and my mind gets a little foggy. This is Sue. I hold myself away from this situation. It's only been a couple seconds but now Sue is starring up at me. I force a normal, easy, carefree Axel smile at her. She nods and wraps her arms around my waist, hugging me tight. I picture kissing her again, but instead I hug her back. She smells like strawberries and vanilla. And it's easily the most arousing smell I've never noticed on a woman.
Freaked out a bit, I pull away, effectively ending the hug. She throws me a tight smile and walks out of the room. I put on some metal music and do my best not to think about how she smells or how adorable she looked while she was crying. I try not to think about the way she says my name or how she knows, without me ever having to say so, that I am glad to be her brother. I unsuccessfully try to get her out of my mind. But lately, that's all I've got.
A month and a half has gone by and I still think about Sue. I still think about kissing her. I still go crazy when I smell vanilla or strawberry. I still want to hold her close. I need to quit this. I am Axel Heck. I am a ladies man. I can't get caught up in one girl. I especially can't get caught up on one that is my own flesh and blood. I go and get mom milk from the store and when I get home, mom, dad, and Brick all have their jackets on. I look, confused, at Sue who is sitting on the couch. Sue looks at me all wide-eyed and innocent. I look back at mom and dad, who are turning to face me.
"Did I miss something?" I prompt, because no one seems to want to tell me what is going on. "Brick failed to mention that he signed your dad and I up to be in charge of his trip this weekend. You and Sue can stay here by yourself. You have all the extra numbers, and if anything goes really wrong, you can reach my cell. We will be in Indianapolis. Take care of your sister and NO PARTIES. One mistake will cost you two-months' worth of cell phone time." She pointedly looked at me and they left out the door, dad looking rather pissed about it all. I couldn't think straight. Three days with just me and Sue. I look at Sue and she's smiling at me.
"They left us money to eat on." She said, tilting forward so that her low-cut shirt showed just a bit of cleavage. "I was thinking we should eat pizza and rent a movie tonight." I did my best to look up from her cleavage and I met her eyes. "Pizza sounds good. I wouldn't mind watching that new Melissa McCarthy movie." I say, my eyes travelling to her cleavage again. It's amazing. I rarely ever see it, and now here it is right in front of me. My heart tells me to touch her but my brain is screaming don't you dare! Instead, I go to the house phone and call in the pizza order.
While we are waiting for the pizza to be delivered, Sue orders the movie on the T.V. I'm sure that mom and dad will be mad at the pay-per-view, but what's $4.00 extra on the bill when I have it on full knowledge that Brick orders the scientific stuff all the time. After the pizza comes, we both settle on the couch. I chance a look over at Sue and she has her legs crossed underneath her, a piece of pizza in her hand, and her eyes on the T.V. screen. She smiles and knocks her arm into my leg. "Eat Axel." She demands, looking at me. My heart picks up speed a little, but I ignore it.
I ease up some, goofing around with Sue like always. It's hard not to be yourself around someone you have known their whole life. After the movie, we just talk. Somehow we wound up talking about tickling and she says that she isn't ticklish. I know better; everyone knows better. I decide though that now is the time to touch her without her freaking out. So I tickle her. And she giggles. During the tickle though, she falls over. I fall over too, landing on top of her. I tickle her a bit longer, but then she is right next to me and we both fall silent.
Instead of moving, like I should have, our heads begin moving towards each other. Our lips met in a gentle kiss, my arms locking her down to the couch. Her hands find their way up to my head, her fingers tangling in my curly locks. I sigh into the kiss, kissing harder. Her lips are soft, just like I knew they would. She was wearing some kind of watermelon lipbalm or lip stick or lip something or other, which makes her lips ever sweeter than I thought. I let the feelings rage inside me for a moment longer than I had intended and I managed to pull myself up, giving her enough room to escape if she chose to. She sits up, biting her lip.
"Axel…" She begins, and I shake my head. It sounds like rejection, and the Ax-man doesn't face rejection. I shrug it off. "Oh, don't worry about it." She looks kind of hurt at that, but I can't be rejected. Suddenly, her lips crash against mine and she knocks me down on the couch. She straddles me, kissing me with a fierceness I didn't know existed inside her. I wrap my arms around her waist, feeling my erection begin to grow. I try to think of other things, but it's so hard when I feel Sue's small but nice boobs against my chest. My hands of their own accord move up, cupping her breasts in my palms. She moans and I push her up before I do something stupid.
My move surprises us both, but I can't let it happen, at least not yet. Our eyes meet, and she starts looking hurt before she realizes my reasoning. We can't because we're brother and sister. Still, she looks dejected. "Axel, it's okay. I understand, I'm just not attractive." I sigh and shake my head, biting my lip as I look at her lips. I take her hand and move it over my erection. "Sue, it's not you. It's our… relationship" I say, for lack of better words. She nods, but her eyes are huge because she felt my boner. I groan in frustration and stand up, giving us space. "I'm going to bed. Please, don't be hurt by this. We will… see where we're at tomorrow, okay? We both need to think." Before I could stop myself though, I press my lips lightly to hers and whisper "You look beautiful tonight." I treat myself to one last look, dipping my eyes into her cleavage. She notices the move and grins. I'm sure I'll be seeing more of those beauties in the next couple days.
As I lay in bed, I think to myself: Axel, what have you gotten yourself into? You're wanting your sister in more ways than anyone should ever have wanted. I know that in my mind, I'm doing the wrong thing. But then I picture all the moments I've shared with Sue and they only make me realize more that the woman I want to be with is Sue. I think I'm falling for my sister. Aloud I say "Aw Hell." And try to get some sleep.