(Okay I came home tonight and sat in front of the laptop and didn't stop until I had another chapter done. I have this one done but have done nothing for proof reading. As I wont have another chance to write anything for a few days I am just sending this out raw. I hope you guys like it. I see one more chapter coming after this. Promise you won't have to wait as long. Enjoy)

Buffy rolled over on her back holding her head. "Oh shit my head."

Dawn stepped in to the room. "You are awake. "

Buffy just stared at the ceiling confused. "Oh God Thanksgiving dinner. Did I miss it."

Dawn sat on the corner of the bed. "You don't remember?"

The thoughts and memories came rushing back to Buffy's mind. "Oh God the dinner, tell me all of that was just a terrible horrible nightmare."

"You have to look at the big picture. Andrew raved all about your pumpkin pie. We all stuck around ate a meal and cleaned up and put the food away."

"Did everything go down as bad as I am remembering or is that just a hazy drunken nighmare?"

"I would say it went every bit as bad. If not ya know maybe a lil worse."

Buffy groaned sitting up in bed. "I can't believe I let it get this bad." She rolled over and looked at the clock. "I have got to find him. I have to make this right."

"When you say him?"

"Xander of course. He must be pretty confused and lost after everything that was said" She swung her feet over the edge of the bed. "I need to find him."

"Buffy slow down. You do realize what you are doing?"

"Looking for jeans and a t shirt?"

"I'm talking about your boyfriend. I mean Angel is." She stepped in front of her. "If Angel is your boyfriend shouldn't he be where you put your priority."

Buffy closed her eyes thinking it over. "Everything you are saying is right. What I said to Angel was incredibly cruel and hurtful but it also was very true. I've been resenting Angel more and more every day. I hate that I'm feeling this but I have two choices. I can keep pretending and wearing this mask or I can be honest ya know maybe find some happiness."

"Happiness in Xander."

She opened her mouth but paused. "I'd of never thought this was possible. Xander was my best friend. He was the reason they created the term friend zone but."

"But nothing. We can try to plan and map out all the steps in our life but at the end of the day sometimes life is going to throw you a curve."

"A Xander shaped curve?"

"Maybe."

"You are right about one thing. Before I can talk or figure out what my future is with Xander I need to talk with Angel."

"Do you know where he is?"

"I'll find him. I always do."

Dawn left a few minutes later as Buffy got dressed and was looking for her car keys. She heard the back door open. "Did you forget something Dawn?"

Angel called out. "It's not Dawn."

Buffy spun around. "Angel you are here." She sighed "I was just about to take off and look for you."

"We might have had some angry moments and said not the kindest things but I do still care."

"I know."

Angel walked picked up the empty wine bottle off the counter. "How are you ah ya know feeling?'

"Trust me when I tell you hang overs suck."

"Perks of being a vampire. I don't have to deal with that."

"Angel about what I said."

"Stop. I don't want to re hash. I don't want you telling me that you didn't mean it. It was building and simmering for a while. I get it. As for all of it coming out at Thanksgiving dinner I mean wouldn't have been my first choice."

"Angel even after everything I said you have to know I do love you. I just."

"Things aren't like they were. We can try our best to recapture the past but in the end maybe things end for a reason."

"Maybe."

"I thought maybe we could give it another try because I felt like."

"We had all the ingredients to make it work. We were just one or two pieces away from something really great and if we could just find those "

"Pieces. We'd finally have our happily ever after. The ever after we deserve."

"But maybe things change and move on for a reason."

"You aren't the same girl. You've grown and changed and the idea that we could just pick up where we left off."

"You've changed too."

"Maybe."

"So what does all of this mean?"

"I think we have to write our final chapter and close the book on us kind of forever."

Angel opened his mouth. "I want to ask something and it might seem hurtful."

"It's okay. Go ahead."

"Is this just about the sex? I mean what if we were able to be together. If there was no curse about a moment of happiness would we have worked out."

Buffy took a moment to wrap her brain around the question. She pulled herself up sitting on counter. "Wow. That one is hard."

"Sorry."

"Don't be you deserve an answer."

"So?"

"I feel like there are things that are there that even with out the sex"

'Things like a life in the sun?

"Things like growing old with someone and you'll stay the same."

Angel bit his lip and shook his head. "I hate that all these years later and the Mayor is still right."

"It does suck."

"So I guess you are right. This is our final chapter. We are done."

Buffy swallowed letting the thought hit her. "It's done. Like done done."

Angel stepped to her and hugged her. "For Good done. It's hard to finally accept but."

"So how do we move on? I mean please don't ask if we can be friends."

Angel just laughed still holding on to her. "I think step one is I am going to find my own place. I don't know if I am going back to LA. I think we have to give each other space for a while. Get to this whole place where we maybe don't hate each other."

"Non hate is a good place to be." She pulled back from the hug. She backed up against the counter "There is no rush on moving out. If you need help."

Angel nodded "I will get it done."

"Remember that whole idea of getting space. I think I'm going to take off for a bit."

"Are you going to find Xander?"

"Angel" There was a reluctant tone to her voice.

"I know I don't have a right to ask. I want you happy I swear. It just ya know sucks that he's the one who makes you happy."

"Angel for years he was on the other side. He watched us be happy and I'm fairly certain it gnawed at his soul. To be honest though I don't know if I'm going to see him. I need to get out and get some air. I need some time to think." She hopped down from the counter and went to the keys in her pocket. With her back too him he asked.

"You can tell me I don't have the right to ask but do you love him."

She stood there for a moment questioning if she wanted to engage. "On some level I've always loved him. He's my best friend. He is my rock. He is my true North."

"I'm not asking if you love him like a best friend."

"I know what you are asking and if I did don't you think he should be the first one I say it too."

"I really don't like him but I think."

"You think?"

"I think if I mean it when I say I want you happy I need to make that the priority and I'll find a way to maybe hate him a little less."

"Thank you. For the record though you are betting a lot on something that might not even matter. I mean let's say I do love him. What if he doesn't want to be with me."

"For as long as I've known Xander Harris I would say that is not something you need to worry about."

"Maybe we will see." She stepped back too him. She took his hands. "Angel for what it's worth a part of will always love you. You were my first great love. This isn't easy."

"You are a little heart broken."

"Will that make you feel better."

He smiled at her. "A little."

She squeezed his hands. "I hope you find real love some day." She moved in and kissed his check. "You deserve it."

He looked in to her eyes. "Thanks Buffy." He stepped back from her. "Well don't let me keep you."

Buffy turned one last time to look at Angel. Of course she knew she would see him again but after so many years she knew this was different. He was the man she once would have given anything to spend her life with but that was done. Under her breath she walked out the door. "Good bye Angel."

20 minutes later she found herself standing on Willow's door step. She was about to knock but the door bell cam spoke to her "Come on in Buffy."

She walked in to the house and sighed. "Hey I'm doing the Buffy Summer's Holiday apology tour. You are my first stop."

Willow stood up from her couch and shook her head. "You don't owe me an apology Buffy."

"I kind of do . I was drunk and I snapped at you."

"Come on and sit with me." She sat on the couch as Buffy joined her. "Yeah I remember what you said about me being happy Xander and I were done. I knew it was just the wine talking. I didn't take it serious."

"Doesn't make it right that I said it."

"Buffy the drunken Uncle spilling all the dirty truths is as much Holiday tradition as snapping the wish bone."

"Well that is just great. I get to be the drunk embarrassing relative. Let's not forget this was your Thanksgiving meal and I kind of ruined that for you."

"No you didn't. We stayed we ate I think Andrew even watched some Holiday special afterwards."

"Is it bad that I'm embarrassed it happened but I don't regret it?"

"Well you and Angel are going to need to have a sit down and figure out and it might not be pretty bu"

"Angel and I are done."

"Buffy don't say that. He is forgiving. You'll give each other time and maybe you can find a way."

"No I'm saying it is actually over. Angel came back after a while. I slept it off and we had a conversation. We talked like two adults and both realized that we can't do it anymore."
"I'm sorry Buffy."

"You don't have to be. Listen. Angel and Buffy was the dream of 17 year old Buffy. We thought we could recapture magic that." She breathed in a breath. "It just isn't what I want. Not anymore."

"Is this done for now or "

"No this is done for good. It's the first time I'm allowing myself to picture a future where Angel is no longer a possibility. Not going to lie it's scary but at the same time very freeing."

"Buffy I have to ask."

She cut her off. "You want to know where I am with Xander."

"Buffy I am asking you as much for your concern as for his. I love you and I love him."

"I know."

"I know how important you two are too each other. I also know maybe when the whole surrogate idea came out I wasn't the biggest advocate for it. I thought if it didn't work and you lost someone who meant so much to you."

"All thoughts in my head."

"But it's not just you. You are Xander's world. If he lost you. I don't know if he would recover."

"I'm not sure about that."

"I am." She looked sincerely to Buffy. "I've seen the way he looks at you. This isn't even the way he looked at you in high school. I think this is something different."

Buffy looked into the fireplace almost like speaking to herself. "I almost didn't come here. I wanted to find him but I was afraid. I don't know what to say. I don't know what to tell him. I mean Angel wasn't wrong about a lot of the stuff he said."

"Any specific stuff?"

"I was jealous. I was angry when Xander started getting serious with Lucy. All I could see was this girl that was swooping in and she was making moves on a guy that I considered my own."

"So that stuff about giving her the promotion just to get her out of town? Might be true?"

Buffy turned to look at her but the confusion and doubt was in her eyes. "I want to to think I did the right thing. Lucy deserves that promotion and she is going to be amazing and she is qualified and."

"That is a lot of ands."

"And what if I gave it too her cause I wanted her out of town." She sighed and threw up her hands. "Fuck it. I know I did."

"Don't be so hard on yourself. "

"What if she was the one who could give him the life and the future he deserves."

"He would be going with her. He isn't"

Buffy's face was painted in confusion and doubt. "Willow you have always been the smartest person I know. Tell me what to do here. What is the right thing? Do I tell Xander how I feel or just try to get back to the comfortable place we have always been."

"Oh no."

"Come on. Will I trust you and I know you have to lean one way or another. I'm tired of making bad stupid choices. Help me."

Willow took her friends hand "Not this time. You have to trust yourself. If Xander is something you want than."

"Did he say anything? I mean did you speak to him after the dinner?"

"Sorry I didn't"

"Do you think he is at home?"

"No. Him and Andrew are buying flat screen tv's and robotic vacuums."

"What?"

"Remember it's technically Thanksgiving but also Black Friday shopping."

'It's still Thursday."

"Thank you corporate America."

Buffy stood up and nodded. "Okay well I should probably get going."

"You going to find him."

"Actually I need to find some food. Turns out wine might be a great way to make your relationship go bye bye but when you don't eat of the actual food you prepare it leaves you feeling kind of hungry."

"It is still technically Thanksgiving might be hard to find something. I could make you something. Plus you have a fridge full of leftovers."

"I will figure it out but thank you Will. For everything. You truly are an amazing friend."

It was just before 1130apm when Xander walked in to his house carrying a 55 inch flat screen tv. Andrew followed behind carrying a bag of his own. "Look Andrew I get that Black Friday can bring out the worst in people but it was just a laptop. I don't know if I've ever seen that side to you."

"Excuse me. It was clearly in my cart and they didn't think I'd notice when they just tried to take it."

"It was a 10 year old girl."

"And I backed her off. She knew better to mess with the big dog."

Xander rolled his eyes and flipped the lights on to find Buffy napping on his couch. Empty take out container from Denny's was on his coffee table. As the light hit her eyes she yawned. "Xander?" She turned her head "And Andrew."

There was an obvious awkward tension in the air between them. Xander sighed. "Here to spread some holiday cheer?"

She smiled and stood up. She looked at Andrew. "So beating up 10 year olds?"

"Just those trying to take my deals. I'm telling you Buffy next year we should have all slayers mandatory take part in black Friday as a training exercise. It's a brutality of end of the world proportions."

Xander looked at his watch. "Andrew it's late and if we are going to be up for the Game stop opening tomorrow. 6 am comes real early."

Andrew nods. "You aren't wrong. Pick me up at 4. We should be in line well before they open."

Xander nodded. "See you than."

Buffy waited till he left. "4 am? Like as in 5 hours 4 am?"

"That would be the one."

"What kind of deals are worth getting up that early?"

"Do you really care or is this just dragging out small talk so we don't have to discuss Thanksgiving dinner?"

"Haven't I punished myself enough. I mean I ate Denny's."

"Dear Lord Buffy you got drunk at Thanksgiving not committed genocide what were you thinking." He picked up the food digging through the pancakes pulling out half a strip of bacon. "So what did you get? The grand Slam breakfast?"

"Actually the Moon over My Hammy"

Xander let the long pause hang for a moment He looked at his shoes and shook his head. "How the hell did we get here Buffy?"

She shrugged her shoulders. "It was my fault."

He laughed and smiled. "Pretty sure this is one of those times I can say it wasn't mine."

Buffy sat on the arm of the couch and closed her eyes. "When all of this stupid surrogate idea started I thought it was the rules that would keep us safe. As long as we played this smart I'd be fine."

"You think the rules are where we screwed up?"

"If we start mapping out all the places I screwed up we are going to be here all night."

"I don't know about all night but I got till 4am." With that he sat in his recliner looking to her.

"Okay how about we start at the most obvious and biggest mistake."

"Which is?"

"Xander do you know why I chose you? When all of this started and I had to pick someone as my surrogate."

"You wanted someone as handsome as they were charming?"

"I wanted someone that I could keep emotions out of it with. Someone who I could never see myself falling for. You were my goofy friend who wears boxers with super heroes on them. You eat breakfast cereal with cartoon characters on the box. God Xander I say this with love but from the outside looking in you are kind of goofy."

"Well that isn't hurtful at all."

"Xander that was the guy I signed up for. That was the guy I wanted to be my surrogate."

"The boxers were a gift from Willow."

"The goofy guy is what the world sees because that is what is easy to see. Once you spend some time and look at what is really there." She looked at the ground shaking her head. "And that is where I got in trouble. If it was just that goofy cartooning watching guy that was rocking my world every day I might have had a shot of making it work. That wasn't what I got though."

"Buffy I have never tried to be anything I'm not."

"I know that. It speaks more to me that you've always been here and I have just been so stupidly blind."

Xander popped up. "Buffy stop." He started pacing. "We can't do this. Angel is"

Buffy cut him off. "No longer a factor."

He turned looking at her. "What does that mean?"

"It means I can't live my life in a world of compromise. It means I'm not that 16 year old girl anymore who wants the same stupid shit. I look back at who she was and I kind of cringe."

"Cringe?"

"Oh I was so original. The teenage girl who turned down the nice guy because the mysterious dark brooking dangerous older guy had just so much more to offer. I was a sad fucking cliché."

"Don't beat yourself up."

"Oh it gets worse. I was 100 percent aware of what I was and here is the funny part. It didn't stop me from trying to make it work again."

"Again you are being awful hard on yourself."

"Angel and I talked and we both agree we have to call it done."

"Done for now?

"Done for good. I am not that same girl times have changed."

Xander let the news hit him and sink in. He wanted to choose his words carefully. "Angel is going to feel that for a while. You are spectacular Buffy and I know how much he must be hurting."

Buffy stepped to him and put her hands in his. "Angel's pain isn't the one I'm concerned with right now. Xander everything I have put you though. This whole thing was supposed to just be fun and light but it never occurred to me that you could end up hurt"

Xander looked up in to her eyes. "I'm still here. I'm still standing."

She stepped in to his arms laying her head on his chest. She closed her eyes and just felt him close to her. "I never planned on this."

He wrapped his arms around her offering the comfort she so craved. "Buffy you can try to plan and carve out but in the end."

"Xander happens."

"Not exactly what I was going to say but."

She breathed in deep taking in his scent. God even just this basic hug reminded her of how much she not only missed his closeness but his embrace. "Xander it wasn't just."

"It wasn't just? What?"

She stepped back and looked at him. "It might have started as just sex but somewhere along the way I ended up craving the little things as much as the actual sex."

"Little things?"

"Like those days where I would stay the night or you would stay the night and we would watch tv or make breakfast. Hell the times that we didn't even have sex. Like that Monster Truck rally that was insanely obnoxious."

"You liked it but it was insanely obnoxious?"

"I liked it because it was with you."

"Angel was my boyfriend but I found myself wanting to spend all my time with you. That was when I knew but I couldn't admit it."

"Why?'

"The rules. If I started feeling anything for the surrogate than I was supposed to call it done. By the time I realized I was feeling something. I was in too deep. I lied to Angel and I tried to lie to myself but I knew the truth."

"IT's good to know it wasn't just sex based you liked other stuff but."

"But?"

"But for the record you liked the sex too?"

"Oh my God, how fragile is your ego."

"Hello have we just met."

"The sex was legendary."

Xander stepped back and went back to his pace. "I know I am pushing my luck asking this but you said you felt something."

"I did."

"Was that something in the neighborhood or maybe the same ball park as ya know. Love?"

She sighed wishing he hadn't asked. "Wow you aren't pulling any punches are ya?"

"If it's not. I mean it's okay."

"It feels like love and I want it to be but we started this whole thing backwards."

"You aren't wrong."

"We started with sex and then developed feelings for each other."

"What if? I mean what if we were to start over and maybe we do this right?"

"Do it right? Explain."

"We go out on a first date?"

"Haven't we kind of done the first date thing?"

"That was Xander the best friend taking you out for pizza or a movie. This is Xander the romantic interest hoping to take you out on these same things but it would have more of a romance feel to it."

"Do I have to remind you that many of those nonromantic dates ended up with you back at my place or me at yours."

"That is the other thing. If we are truly starting over and this is our legit first date. We take it from the beginning. Which means a kiss at the end of the date."
"Oh."

"And if the first date goes well. There could be another and maybe another and if we find that we both fit in to each other's world than we get back to that bumpy grindy place."

"Your plan makes sense and is logical and smart but."

"But?"

"But this plan means we don't get to have any sex. I kind of miss ya know the sex."

Xander covered his eyes trying not to laugh. "How is it that I am the guy and I'm the one who is having to discourage the sex. You are destroying a perfectly good stereotype."

"One more time? I mean we technically haven't had sex in weeks so one more just to recharge and rewind and get me through till"

"Summers."

She smiled at him hoping he would agree. "Yes."

"Keep it in your pants."