DADDY KNOWS BEST

by Desktop Dragon

(Originally posted in 2015) A sort of sequel to my other Crossover story Fifty Shades of Crossfire Family Connections. WARNING This is an incredibly dark story which focuses on subjects which are still taboo namely death, self harming, mental health issues and suicide. It follows Gideon and his family specifically his relationship with his eldest daughter.

1. Chapter 1

AUTHORS NOTE: Originally posted on the site 11th May 2015 and completed 3rd November 2015

Since then this story has been given a complete overhaul, to hopefully remove all typo's and errors I missed the first time around. The main story remains intact although some parts have been rewritten but it has not been vastly altered other than edited to (hopefully) improve the flow and remove plot holes, errors and omissions.

oooOOOooo

A lot of people contacted me after 'What If…?Fifty Shades of Crossfire' (now called Fifty Shades of Crossfire Family Connections) originally came to an end back in January 2015, asking if I was going to do a sequel but I said 'no' as I felt I had said all I wanted to say with that story and I was all out of ideas, and to be honest I was planning on taking a break from fan fiction for a while. But then this seed of an idea popped into my mind and took root and basically the story wrote itself in my head. It was originally inspired by an Iron Maiden song I was listening to at the time.

**WARNING: For those of you who are reading this for the first time I will say from the start it is a VERY, very dark and heavy story with its subject matter which is going to include death and grief, mental health issues including depression and anxiety, self harming and also suicide attempts and so for that reason I have graded it a mature story and there are parts of it which WILL be quite disturbing and so some readers may find it upsetting. I do hope to provide plenty of lighter moments as well and eventually there will be a happy ending for everyone and I hope it will prove to be an ultimately inspiring and uplifting story.

I realised at the time that I was taking a risk writing a story of this nature with some of the content I have written about but I want to make it very clear from the very start it's not to glamorise subjects which are still considered somewhat of a taboo, and subjects which are stigmatised and swept under the carpet, but to show how life changing events can affect people and in this case subsequently shape the relationship of a young girl with her daddy.

I also want to make it very clear from the start that this story concentrates on Gideon and his family, particularly his eldest daughter Denise who I created and appeared towards the end of Fifty Shades of Crossfire Family Connections. Ana and Christian are involved but playing a supporting background role along with the rest of the Grey family.

I do not own Fifty Shades of Grey/Crossfire Series or its original characters.

DADDY KNOW'S BEST!

CHAPTER 1

(DENISE)

I am almost hysterically afraid; all I can think of is getting to my father. I know that he will make everything alright, and he will protect me. I run into the Crossfire building, the security guards stand as they see me burst through the doors and I look at them. They instantly recognise me and one immediately picks up the phone. I run towards the elevator and as the doors open, I fumble as I try and plug in the key which my father gave me and which will take me to the top of the Crossfire and to him.

The elevator doors open and I am immediately granted access to Cross Industries but I don't even stop to give the astonished receptionist a glance, I just want my daddy. I run down corridors and I am sobbing, the tears are making me almost blind and I am finding my way by instinct rather than sight. I am panting and my lungs feel like they are on fire and people are staring at me as I reach the executive offices. My father's assistant Scott stands as I approach and goes to pick up his phone. I look towards the glass walled office and I skid to a halt. The glass is clear and I can see my father presiding over a meeting, the man who I love more than anything or anyone in the world. My dad, I calm slightly as I see him. He looks up and as he sees me I see concern on his face, he immediately excuses himself and walks towards the door.

"DADDY!" I yell as he opens the door and I rush towards him.

I am a hot mess, my make up smudged and my hair is a mess and tears are pouring down my cheeks and I have totally lost control of myself and the temporary calm I felt when I saw him has now evaporated. He comes striding out of his office and looks panic stricken as I throw the bags I am carrying to the ground and run towards him and I fling myself at him clinging to him and gripping his shirt tightly. He immediately wraps his arms around me and practically carries me to the sofa in his office and the men who he was meeting with quietly leave the room. He sits down with me still sobbing bitterly in his arms.

"What's happened?" he asks, and I hear the fear and panic in his voice.

I can tell he is trying hard to contain his panic, and I know I need to start speaking and telling him why I am here and why I am in the state I am in. I know that when I do tell him he will make everything alright again as I have faith in my dad… he will make everything ok, he always does.

I look up into his face and the tears are still flowing freely, "He's back, I saw him daddy, I was coming out of the mall with Aunty Ireland and he was there watching me, I know it was him daddy, I am scared, why has he come back, he was in jail I thought I was safe, he was gone?"

The words all tumble out in a rush. I know that I am rambling and words are just spilling haphazardly from my mouth. I shiver as I remember who I saw and the fear consumes me again and I bury my head in my father's chest and I feel him stiffen. I know that the fact he is back will hurt my dad too, and my dad doesn't deserve to be hurt any more, he has been through enough these past few years to last him a life time and I have caused him so much pain. I feel him tighten his grip on me and he gently rubs my back. This is slowly calming me down and the sobs which are still wracking me start to lessen and then he pauses and reaches into his pocket and pulls out his cell phone.

"Raul, I need you here now... he's back" he says tightly and then he hangs up.

He returns his attention back to me, "Denise, look at me sweetheart, you need to tell me and Raul everything you remember and you need to calm down. I promise you that man will not hurt you ok?!" he says.

I nod and I look up into the astonishingly blue eyes so like my own and I see the love my father has for me, and it immediately makes me feel calm and with a big sniff I rest my head against his chest.

"Thank you daddy" I whisper as I continue to cling to man who I love with all my heart, the man who I know will never let me down.

A few moments later Raul appears. I look up and see the compassion in his eyes as he sits down beside us. I am still curled up on my father's lap I tell him everything I saw and remember.

"Don't worry, we won't let him hurt you," Raul reassures me, I nod, but I can't help but worry as he has been a thorn in my side for so long. I look up at my dad; he has been a bigger thorn in my dad's side. My dad has had to endure his drip feed of vengeance and negativity since before I was born.

"Did your Aunt Ireland see him?" my father asks.

I shake my head, "no she was texting Aunty Mia at the time" I say with a genuine smile. I love my Aunty Mia. Since mom died both Aunty Ireland and Aunty Mia have been there for me, my dad has been brilliant but sometimes a girl needs a female perspective. My mind travels to Aunty Ana as well, although she lives the other side of the country in Seattle but I know if I was to call her at any time day or night she would be there for me and just knowing that is a comforting thought.

I look up at my father, I am calm now and he looks down at me and brushes his hand through my hair, and then he takes my wrists and touches the pink scars there. Running his thumb along them and my heart almost breaks at the sadness in his eyes. He is afraid of what the return of this man could mean…

oooOOOooo

Five Years Previously...

I can't believe this is happening. I just stand there and watch as my strong, reliable and powerful dad completely falls apart in front of my eyes. He is gripping my mom and holding her limp lifeless body to his and demanding that she returns to him. Liv stands beside me and she too has a look of complete astonishment on her face. I reach for her and I hold my sisters hand and we just watch helplessly as he is completely lost in his grief.

This sort of thing happens to other people, my friend Jenny's mom died when we were little, she was just five years old - the same age as my sister Zoe is now when her mom died. My dad is destroyed he never in a million years expected to sit and watch my mom die.

It all happened so quickly, she was fine and then she started getting these weird headaches, no… they were more than headaches, migraines would be a better description. They completely knocked her off her feet but she just dismissed them until in the end my dad made her go to the hospital to get it checked out and we discovered she had a tumour. Tests were done and my dad used his wealth and influence and flew in specialists from all over the world to try and do something to save my mom. However, it was all in vain because it was so aggressive, and it had spread so significantly. I heard the doctor tell my dad that she was riddled with it and there was nothing that they could do for her. They said it was their belief she had had the cancer for years and because of where it was situated she hadn't had any symptoms until it was just too late.

The next morning…

I open my eyes and blink, for a second everything is fine but then the events of last night consume me in a rush as I recall how I watched my mom die and subsequently watched my dad completely fall apart. I can't actually believe that she isnow gone. I had always believed deep down that my dad would do something and she would be saved but she died last night.

Tears start to well up in my eyes as I remember, I was there with my dad and my sister Liv she had been unconscious for days totally unaware of her surroundings but just before she died she opened her eyes and smiled at us all. I was shocked as she seemed to recognise us. It was totally amazing as she didn't even know we were there for the past week or so but it was almost as if she came back to say goodbye.

Her eyes opened and she looked at me and whispered my name. I hear her voice as my mind replays that moment, and I hear that frail hoarse 'Dennie' in my head and the tears start to fall faster. Then she had looked at Liv and whispered her name. She had looked at my dad and pointed at us and my dad had nodded and he promised her he would take care of us and she looked at me and Liv once more and said Zoe. We both hugged her and told her we loved her and that we would take care of our baby sister and then she simply smiled, closed her eyes and... then that was it, she just died. It was like she fell asleep but we all knew she had gone, there was an eerie silence for a few moments and then my dad just started to scream her name and cry and he held her and begged her to come back to him. Liv and I had left him alone with mom and went outside; we were both shaken at his reaction. I called my grandfather and he came with Uncle Christopher to get us. Aunty Ireland was at home looking after Zoe and Liv called her to tell her that mom had died. My dad refused to leave mom to start with and it took granddad and Uncle Christopher everything to persuade him to come home with us. He did eventually give in and come with us but he wasn't really there with us if you get what I mean.

I get up and wander out of my bedroom, I walk past dad's room and pause as I hear moaning and I knock on the door but there is no response. I go out into the kitchen and pause, my sisters will be awake soon; I don't know what to do… I am assuming we won't be going to school today, so I go back to my dad's room and knock again.

"Dad" I call, but there is no response, I hesitate as I am certain he is awake.

"Dad" I call again and again there is no response.

I decide to go and make him some coffee, and I fill a mug full and take it to my father's room. I knock again.

"Dad, I've brought you some coffee" I say, and yet again there is no response. I place the mug of coffee down on the floor, "I'll leave it here for you" I say and then I walk away.

oooOOOooo

Today has been a surreal day as none of us have gone to school. Zoe is totally confused and Aunty Ireland has explained to her that mom is with the angels now; Liv and I are trying to hold it together for her and my dad is a complete mess.

We haven't seen him all day, as he has hasn't come out of his bedroom, the mug of coffee I made him sat untouched outside his room until I eventually moved it. We can hear him moving around but he has just shut himself away and won't answer anyone.

I had called my grandfather as I had no idea what do as it was like we were home alone as my dad had completely checked out. As soon as I called him my granddad came and he brought Uncle Christopher and Aunty Ireland with him and thankfully they all took charge. Granddad tried everything to get dad to come out of his room, he phoned the school to say we wouldn't be in and Uncle Christopher went to the hospital to start making arrangements. Granddad and Aunty Ireland have spent the whole day pleading with my dad to unlock the door and come out, but he hasn't been seen all day. I tried, I had stood outside the door and pleaded with my dad, telling him we needed him but… nothing so now in total desperation here I am on the phone in tears to my uncle and aunt in Seattle telling them my mom has died and begging them to come to New York and help my dad. I feel bad for doing this because they have their own lives and they have been here almost constantly for months since mom got sick. But I know that if anyone can get through to dad it will be Uncle Christian. They have been brilliant; Uncle Christian and Aunt Ana have been there for us all throughout this nightmare. In fact everyone has been brilliant, Aunty Ireland has practically moved in to help out since mom got really ill and was moved to the hospital.

If I am honest I am getting a bit pissed off at my dad at this moment as he's not the only one hurting here. I am 12 years old and my mom has died, my sister Olivia is 10 and my baby sister Zoe is 5 and we are all grieving and although I am trying to hold it together and take care of my sisters we all really need our dad at this moment and he's just not there.

"He just won't come out Uncle Christian" I sob down the phone, "I am trying to help Liv and Zoe, granddad is here and he is trying to get dad to come out. Aunty Ireland and Uncle Chris have been here trying to get him to come out as well, but he won't and we need him" I say.

I hear a deep sigh, "Ok Denise listen to me carefully, take the phone and go to your dad's room and knock on the door and tell him to come out and speak to me" Uncle Christian says calmly.

"Ok" I say.

I walk up to my dad's bedroom door and knock, my granddad stares at me sadly, "He isn't responding to anyone sweetheart" he says in a despondent almost resigned way.

I don't listen and I call out hoping that hearing Uncle Christian wants to talk to him will bring him out as he has always been closest to Uncle Christian. "Daddy, Uncle Christian is on the phone and he wants to talk to you" I call through the closed door, but there is no response and sadly I realise that I expected this to happen.

"He's not answering" I say sadly into the phone.

I hear my uncle sigh again and when he speaks again his voice is harder, "Ok right then… put me on speaker and turn the volume right up as loud as it will go" he says firmly.

I do as he asks "Ok I've done that" I say.

The next thing I hear is my uncle bellowing down the phone and he is so loud his voice almost fills the apartment. I can't help but grin because he doesn't mince his words or seem to care about dropping the f bomb and when I hear it I let out a small giggle.

"GIDEON CROSS, OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR RIGHT NOW! YOUR DAUGHTERS NEED YOU, STOP BEING SO GOD DAMNED SELFISH, YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY ONE HURTING HERE. YOUR DAUGHTERS HAVE LOST THEIR MOTHER AND THEY NEED THEIR FATHER!" There is a pause and then we hear movement.

Hope rises dramatically inside me at the sound of the moment behind the closed door, "I think he's coming" I whisper excitedly down the phone.

"Is he?" my uncle says, and then he apologises to me for his language and as he is speaking I hear the door open.

I manage to tell Uncle Christian, that it's ok when to door starts to open. "He's coming out" I say with a profound and total relief as I watch the door slowly opening.

My father stands there looking absolutely dreadful. He's wearing sweat pants and a crumpled t shirt. He is unshaven and his eyes are red. He is pale and he reeks of alcohol. But I have never been so pleased to see him in my life and I react instinctively. I drop the phone and I fling myself at him and I feel him crumble beneath my arms. He falls to his knees and pulls me close and there we are sobbing on each other. I vaguely hear my grandfather speaking and I guess he is telling Uncle Christian that my dad has come out. I hear my sister's approaching and my father looks up and then gathers us all into his arms and holds us tightly.

"I'm so sorry" he mumbles.

"It's ok daddy," I say, "I was worried about you, and well... we need you right now" I add.

My father looks at me and nods; I see a strange mixture of shame and desolation on his face which he slowly hides with a look of determination. He looks at each of us in turn and gives us all a soft kiss on the head.

"I'll be right back, I'm going to go for a shower and I'm going clean myself up and then we will all get something to eat ok?" he says.

I nod at him and smile bravely. I take my sisters away and I decide I am going to help him out with that. I will make us some dinner. My mom wasn't the best cook in the world and we ordered in most of the time but my mom made a mean bolognaise and I helped her make it so many times so I'm pretty convinced I can do this. I recruit my sisters to help me and give them jobs to do. My little sister Zoe is only 5 so I give her the job of getting out the saucepan and utensils I need, and I give Liv the ingredients and I tell her to start chopping. I put on some water to boil for the spaghetti. My grandfather comes in and takes in the scene.

"It all looks very industrious in here, can I help at all?" he asks.

I smile at him, "Thanks granddad but I've got this, I want to do this" I say quietly.

He nods at me understanding immediately. "Do you want me to stay?" he asks carefully.

I think for a moment, I feel bad telling him to go, because I had called him in the first place first thing this morning when we couldn't get my dad to come out of his room this morning and he has been here all day with us, but I selfishly want it to be just us. Me, my sisters and my dad. I think he realises this and he picks up his coat.

"If you need me just call" he says as he gives me a kiss.

"Thanks granddad" I say and I snake my arms around his waist and give him an affectionate squeeze, he pulls me close and holds me tightly and tells me what Uncle Christian said to him and what has happened since my father came out of his room.

"Uncle Christian and Aunty Ana will be here first thing in the morning, he said he was leaving Seattle within the next hour or two and they are going to their apartment when they arrive so they can be here for you all first thing tomorrow morning. I called granddad Victor and he is also making arrangements to fly out from California" my grandfather tells me and I nod in understanding. I'm glad about that because Uncle Christian and Granddad Victor will both know what to do when they get here.

"Is Grandma Grace coming too?" I ask hopefully.

My grandfather shrugs and shakes his head, "I don't know sweetheart" he says honestly. I nod and return to the saucepan with the ingredients in ready for me to make the bolognaise.

"I'll be off then, I'll let myself out" he says as he walks away, he says goodbye to Liv and Zoe and I hear the front door open and then shut again. I return my attention to the dinner and I hear my mother's voice in my head explaining how to make the bolognaise.

"Dennie?" I turn at Zoe's voice, which pulls me from my thoughts.

"Yeah?" I respond.

Zoe looks up at me and I see the pain and confusion in her eyes and I swallow hard. "Mom's not ever coming home is she?" she asks quietly and I feel my heart lurch at her question.

"Aunty Ireland told me she was with the angels now and Uncle Chris gave me a hug and said I've got to be a brave girl... mom's not coming home is she?"

I look at my little sister and see her lip quivering. I gesture to Liv to take over stirring the pot of bolognaise and I walk over to Zoe and crouching down to her level I pull her into a hug. I feel her small arms encircle me and we just hold on to each other. I try and hold it together as I explain to my five year old sister that our mom has died.

"No Zoe, she's not coming back". I hesitate a moment and then pull away slightly and look her in the eye. "Remember how dad explained to you that mom was really sick, well although the doctors tried really, really hard to make her well she was just too sick and last night she died".

I have no idea if I am doing the right thing telling her this but at this moment I believe I need to be honest with her and she will only be more confused if we try and fob her off.

She nods at me and then she just pulls away from me. I want to pull her back and just hold on to her. I watch her as she sits down at the table quietly. I realise that she is obviously processing what I have just said. Liv looks at me and she looks like she is going to break down at any moment and I go to her and give her hug. She holds on to me for a few moments but then she pulls away and gives me a weak smile and walks away. I feel oddly alone so I go back to the stove and take over the cooking.

I am just about ready to dish up and I am quietly confident about the food I have cooked when my father finally appears, he still looks pale and his eyes are bloodshot, red and puffy but he has shaved and showered and he has put on some clean clothes and he manages a weak smile as he sees what I am doing.

"Something smells good" he says as he moves closer and peers into the pot.

"Mom's bolognaise, she showed me how to make it and I thought... I wanted... I..." I stop as tears start to fall; my father takes the spoon from my hand and pulls me close. I close my eyes, this is what I needed, I need my dad to hold me and tell me everything is going to be alright, even though I know it is a complete lie as I feel like nothing is ever going to be alright ever again, now that mom is gone.

"I get it" he says quietly. All too soon he pulls away and I just want to hang on to him but I don't.

I check the oven and see that the garlic bread is done; it was just a pre-prepared French stick which I found in the freezer which only needed cooking from frozen. I turn to the spaghetti and look towards my father as I'm not convinced that I will be able to drain it without help.

"Dad, can you help me please?" I ask.

He immediately comes over and drains the spaghetti, "Do you want me to serve?" he asks me, I nod and hand him the serving spoon. As we sit down at the table, my father looks around realising for the first time that it's just us.

"Where's your grandfather?" he asks me.

"He went home" I reply. "He said Uncle Christian and Aunty Ana are flying out tonight and going to their apartment when they arrive and that they will be here first thing tomorrow morning and he said that he called Granddad Victor and he was making arrangements to fly out from California" I say.

My father nods and he immediately reaches for his phone and calls Granddad Victor and tells him a plane is on its way to California to fetch him, and then he calls Raul to arrange for a plane to be sent. Seeing him do this gives me hope as he looks like the dad I know as he does this, in charge and in control of everything, when he has done that he looks around the table at us all.

"I'm sorry I wasn't here for you today" he says quietly, and Liv reaches out and touches his hand.

"Don't worry dad, you are here now" she says.

(GIDEON)

I look around the table at my girls and I am totally ashamed of myself. I fell apart last night when Eva left me, the last thing I did before she left me was promise to take care of our daughters. But what did I do? I failed her and broke my promise within minutes of leaving that damn hospital.

I look at my children, my three beautiful daughters. Denise, twelve years old and a carbon copy of me in looks and temperament she has grown up so quickly since Eva became sick and I know that I have leaned on her when I should have been there for her to lean on me. Olivia who is ten and my heart hurts as I do so. As much as Denise looks like me Liv is a younger version of Eva she looks just like her physically in every way and she has her no nonsense approach to life. I turn my attention to look at my baby girl sitting eating her bolognaise quietly and I smile, Zoe was a surprise package and at five years old is precocious and adorable. She is a perfect mixture of both myself and Eva she has my dark hair, and stature and she has Eva's eyes and features and at this moment I know I have to do my best for these girls as I am all they have now and I can't fail them as Eva will live on in all of them.

I suddenly realise Chris has gone. He has been here all day talking to me through the door and trying to get me to come out.

"Where's your grandfather?" I ask looking towards Denise.

"He went home" she tells me, "he asked if we needed him to stay and I said it was ok for him to go, he said Uncle Christian and Aunty Ana are flying out tonight and going to their apartment when they arrive and that they will be here first thing tomorrow morning and he said that he called Granddad Victor and he was making arrangements to fly out from California" she says.

A shot of regret goes through me, shit Victor! I have been so wrapped up in my own misery I forgot the fact that this man has lost his daughter. I reach for my phone and call him. He picks up quickly and is sympathetic.

"Gideon, how are you bearing up?" he asks.

"Hanging in there Victor, listen I'm sorry I haven't called until now. Denise has just told me that my father called you and that you are flying out to New York" I say and then I pause.

"That's right son, I'm just at the precinct now, just making arrangements for cover at work" he says.

"I'm sending a plane for you it should be in the air within the hour and I'll get Raul to contact you to let you know when it arrives in California" I say firmly.

"Thank you Gideon" Victor replies. I quickly hang up and call Raul to make it happen and he responds immediately.

I hang up and look once again at my children, Denise is looking at me and she smiles hopefully at me. I can see the pain and sadness in her eyes but all her concern at this moment is for me and it nearly kills me. I heard her on the phone earlier, she was sobbing to Christian and begging him to come to New York to help me, and then I recall Christian telling me to get my ass out of my room and pull myself together and I realise now I have to do just that.

"I'm sorry I wasn't here for you today" I say quietly to everyone, and I watch as Liv reaches out and touches my hand and squeezes it gently and it nearly undoes me completely.

"Don't worry dad, you are here now" she says.

oooOOOooo

I wake up and I touch the cold empty space at the side of me. That was one of my biggest achievements in my life. I overcame my demons and was able to spend the night with my wife. The whole night and now I am once again sleeping alone. I glance at the clock at the side of the bed, it is nearly 8:30 and I lie there gathering my thoughts when I hear a knock at the door.

"Hello, Come in!" I call and the door opens and I see Liv poking her head around the door with a mug of coffee in her hand.

"Dennie told me to bring you this and to see if you were awake" she says.

I smile and pat the bed and after handing me my coffee she climbs on to the bed beside me and wraps her arms around me.

"Where is Dennie now?" I ask as I press a small kiss to her head.

Liv looks up at me, "she is helping Zoe get ready. She phoned the school and said none of us were going again today, but I think you are going to have to call them as I don't think they believed Dennie" she says.

I frown, "Who called the school yesterday?" I ask.

"Granddad" Liv replies. I nod and hold her close while I drink my coffee. I know Dennie has made this as she makes it so damn strong it would wake a hibernating bear. As I sip my coffee the door opens and I see my eldest daughter. I immediately put down my coffee and hold out my arms to her, she joins us on the bed and crawls into my lap.

"Morning dad, are you feeling a bit better today?" she asks warily.

I nod, I'm feeling empty and the pain in my heart is unbearable but I need to put that aside for my girls.

"Where's Zoe?" I ask.

Dennie looks up at me, "She is in the kitchen eating her breakfast; she wanted some toast so I made her some" she pauses and looks at me warily. "Erm... dad, the school want you to ring them, granddad phoned yesterday but I called them this morning and said we wouldn't be going and they said I wasn't allowed to do that that and they needed to hear from you". She pauses and looks down and I have a feeling she isn't telling me everything. I look at her carefully.

"Did they say something to upset you sweetheart?" I ask as I lift her chin so she is looking at me, immediately tears spring into her eyes and she nods.

"When I called and said who I was and told them that we wouldn't be in school today, they said they couldn't accept a call from me and my mom or dad needed to call and when they mentioned mom I kind of lost it a bit and I shouted at them and told them that that was why we weren't coming because mom was dead and they said sorry but said either you or another adult had to call. I'm sorry dad I didn't mean to shout but it just happened" she says. I hold her tightly and I press a kiss to her forehead.

"It's absolutely fine, you are bound to have all sorts of emotions at the moment" I say. I reach for my phone and call the school.

"Good morning St Winifred's school" a mild voice says.

"Good morning Gideon Cross here, I am calling to inform you my daughters won't be in school for the rest of this week" I say curtly.

"Ah yes Mr Cross, your daughter telephoned earlier and we told her that either you or your wife needed to inform us" the woman says.

At the blasé mention of Eva I feel my own anger rising and I can understand how Dennie got so upset. Surely these people made a note yesterday when my father called them?

"Well, as my father called yesterday and informed you that my wife passed away the night before last and they would not be in school yesterday I put it to you that whoever said that to my daughter was totally insensitive and totally out of line in the circumstances" I snap and I wait there is a long silence.

"I do apologise for that Mr Cross and I am very sorry for your loss, I will make a note of your call and we won't expect the girls in for the rest of the week, and please let me offer you our sincerest apologies for any misunderstanding". I shake my head and hang up without another word.

I turn my attention to my daughters who are watching me carefully. "Ok, are you two going to let me get up and get dressed, before Uncle Christian and Aunt Ana get here?!" I say. My girls immediately shuffle off the bed and out of the room; I finish my coffee and head into the shower.

I am just coming out of the bedroom when I hear voices coming from the sitting room. I make my way down and I see Ana hugging Zoe tightly and Christian is hugging Liv they both turn to look at me and Ana immediately comes to me and folds me into her arms.

"I'm so sorry Gideon" she whispers in my ear. I just nod and ease myself away. Christian comes up to me and embraces me.

"How are you bearing up bro?" he asks me, the concern in his voice is almost my undoing. I shake my head and don't say anything.

I hear voices coming out of the kitchen and moments later Dennie appears carrying a tray with mugs on it, along with Phoebe and… Grace and who stops dead when she sees me and our eyes meet.

I feel my heart lurch as I see her. "Mom" I gasp, it's all I can get out. She came, I needed her and she came.

"Gideon darling" she says and holds open her arms and I don't hesitate, I lurch over towards her and fall into them.

I eventually pull myself together and turn my attention towards my niece who has grasped my hand.

"Uncle Gideon, I'm so sorry that Aunty Eva died" she says as she looks up at me, I crouch to her level and wrap my arms around her.

"Thank you Phoebe" I say.

It feels comforting to have my brother and his family here but I can't help feeing a twinge of something, I can't put my finger on it until I see Christian touch Ana's arm lovingly. Shit I'm jealous, jealous of the fact my wife is dead and he still has his. I am shocked and appalled at my line of thought and I try and push it from my mind.

I try and hold it together and the day is spent arranging the funeral and sorting out everything related to it. I call my PR department and tell them to release a statement publicly announcing the fact Eva has died and to request that the media respects our privacy. I have to say on the whole they have been pretty good during Eva's illness with only the odd pap getting out of line, there have been a few clusterfucks with press on occasions but generally speaking they have been reasonably respectful.

My mind focuses on the funeral never in a million years did I expect to be doing this. By the end of the day Victor has arrived and so have Kate and Elliot and Mia and her husband Ethan, who is Kate's brother and Carrick. Chris, Christopher and Ireland are also here. The amount of people here in the Penthouse has never bothered me before we are always having family get togethers, in fact I insist on them numerous times throughout the year, but at this moment I am feeling a little overwhelmed and I just want everyone to go. Denise comes over to me and grips my hand.

"Are you ok dad?" she asks looking carefully at me.

I shake my head and her response is immediate, she calls Liv over and whispers something in her ear and she in turn goes and speaks to Christian who looks up and then announces that perhaps its time for everyone to leave us in peace. Within 20 minutes everyone is gone, except Victor who is staying here with us and I heave a sigh of relief as I close the door.