It's 11:00 p.m. and all is quiet on Spooner Street in Quahog. Inside the Griffin home, a shriek emits from Meg's room, waking up the rest of the household.

"What the deuce?" Stewie exclaims. "Rupert," he says to his teddy bear companion, "what the hell was that?"

"Awww, I was having the best dream," Chris whines. "I was Madonna's plaything and she was letting me…do stuff with her neck wattle."

"Oh, now you're screamin', Lois. Where was this twenty minutes ago…ya know…when I was doin' ya?"

"Peter, that wasn't me!" Lois says irritably. "God, you're an idiot."

"Huh?" Brian jolts awake from where he'd passed out on the couch with a bottle of Jack Daniels.

Meg runs out of her room. "Guys! Guys! You won't believe what –"

"Shut up, Meg!" the rest of the family chorused from where they lay.

"But you guys! I – I"

"SHUT UP MEG."

"Please, you guys gotta listen to me for once –"

Peter storms out of his room, butt naked, broom in hand. "All right Meg, that's it. Outside." He starts using the broom to sweep her downstairs. "Shoo, shoo!"

"Dad, please! No!"

"I said shoo, Meg, shoo. Outside. Go spend the rest of the night sleepin' on the lawn. That'll learn you to wake everyone up with your nonsense."

"Dad, please!"

But he chases her into the living room, and all the way out the door. When it slams behind her, Brian awakes once again from the couch.

"Hey, buddy," Peter says.

Brian looks at Peter, then proceeds to vomit violently all over the couch and the floor.

"Aw, drank too much tonight, didn't we?"

"Yes," Brian replies, "But this is because you're naked, Peter."

The next day, the family is at the breakfast table, except for Meg. She strolls in from outside, her pajamas torn, twigs and leaves and grass caught in her hair.

"Oh hey Meg. Whatcha doin' outside, silly girl? Your bed is inside the house," Peter says slowly, as though Meg is a five-year-old.

"You kicked me out, you fat bastard!" Meg exclaims.

"Oh yeah…" Peter chuckles. "That was funny. I did it with my chasin' broom."

"Now honey, that's no way to talk to your father," Lois says. "Anyway, I hope you found somethin' to eat out there, because I kinda forgot to make enough breakfast for you. I'm pretty sure there may be some scraps from last night's dinner in the trash can."

"You forgot to make enough dinner for me last night, too," Meg complains.

"Oh yeah…" Lois chuckles. "That's funny. Well, at least you have a chance to have some now," she adds, gesturing outside.

"Never mind that," Meg says excitedly. "I have something amazing to tell you guys. I wanted to last night, but you all told me to –"

"Shut up, Meg," says the family collectively.

"But, but if you just listen…"

Peter gets his broom out again. "Meg…"

"But Dad…"

"Shoo, shoo!"

Later that evening, the family, again, minus Meg, were sitting on the living room couch, watching Quahog 5 News.

"Tom Tucker here with a story right out of Quahog. One of our residents has hit it big in this week's lottery, which has a jackpot of a whopping forty million dollars." A familiar image appears on the screen beside the anchor's head. "Eighteen-year-old Meg Griffin of Spooner Street…wait. Meg is a girl's name." Tom pauses, pressing his fingers to his earpiece. "This is a girl? Good Lord." He clears his throat. "Well, good for you, Meg Griffin. Maybe you can use the money to, you know, get some surgery so you can look less gross." He shudders, then takes a shot from a flask hidden inside his suit jacket.

"Ahem." The family turns slowly to see Meg in the doorway, a smug smile on her face.

"So, so this is what you were trying to tell us last night. And this morning." Brian stands up to walk towards her. "Let me say that, I for one –"

"Beat it, dog!" Meg takes an aggressive step towards Brian, which has him scuttling back to where he was sitting before.

Meg slams the door behind her. "All of you have been so cruel to me all my life. Calling me names. Degrading me. Hitting me. Farting in my face, dad," she directs her cold gaze to Peter, whose mouth is still hanging open from hearing the news. "And yet I was still willing to share my winning with you. Each and every one of you. But instead you all told me to shut up, once again, so now none of you will see a dime of it."

There's a pause, then everyone starts talking over each other, apologizing, trying to explain themselves, begging for forgiveness.

"Shut up, dad! Shut up, Mom! Shut up, Chris! Shut up, Brian! Shut up, Stewie!"

Everyone obeys, eyes wide. Through the window, they can see a sleek black limousine pull up to the curb outside their house.

Meg smiles smugly. "That's my ride, y'all. I'm not even gonna pack anything, because I'm rich enough to get a fabulous new wardrobe. She opens the door again, pauses, turns around, and then flips them the bird with both hands. "See you in hell, bitches!"

THE END