As soon as Daisy had finished her morning meal, she stood.
Just as soon as she did, her father's voice called to her, casual and high.
"Stay, Delphini. I would like for us to have one last dueling session before you leave for Hogwarts, my child."
Daisy stopped. She took a breath, and turned to look to her father, resigned to the idea of a new set bruises and cuts she was going to add to her body's collection. "Yes, father," she said simply.
Voldemort stood, waving his wand; the table disappeared (the woman hit the floor with a heavy thud; a flick of Voldemort's wand, and she was sent zooming across the floor to strike the wall). He remained right where he was.
Daisy sighed, crossing the dining hall to the far side. She stopped there, turned back to face him. She drew the yew wand from her pocket, holding it in front of herself.
Voldemort's gaze traveled to one of his Death Eaters. "Ah, Wilson - come here. Stand here." He beckoned the man, a small smile on his pale lips.
Wilson obeyed without question (though with obvious trepidation at the idea of getting so close to Voldemort). He stopped and knelt before Voldemort with a practiced ease.
"No: stand - what I require from you will...require you to be on your feet." Voldemort gave a small chuckle, motioning for the man to stand. Wilson did so, looking puzzled as much as afraid.
"What...do you require, My Lord?" the man asked carefully.
Voldemort looked past Wilson - to Daisy. "Today, I give you the honor of being my daughter's sparring partner."
Daisy stared, a protest already on her lips. Her father had never allowed anyone but himself to fling spells at her - and now he had changed his mind on that?
"My Lord..." Wilson began, absolutely apologetic. "I- I could not possibly harm your daughter, I- I don't have it in me to cause you such...such distress."
"You will not be harming her," Voldemort said lazily. "You will act in defense only - while she will be the one attempting to do you harm. And, ultimately, take your life."
"My lord!" the man protested, terrified now.
"Father, I-" Daisy started calmly.
"I understand this is going to be a new experience for you," Voldemort cut across, in a voice that was almost comforting. "But it is one you must go through - one you would have gone through, even were you still being brainwashed into serving the Order, you realize, girl? Do you think they would not have had you kill my Death Eaters, or kill me? Ignoring that that is impossible, of course. If you wish to fight, you must be prepared to kill - or else your opponents will simply get up again, come back at you once more with a new wand and a greater determination! Even those in the Order understand this fact of life...and war."
"Father I can't..."
"Very well. Terrance - you may do as you please with my daughter." Voldemort addressed another of his servants - a female Death Eater, of dirty blonde hair and glistening dark blue eyes.
"WHAT?!" Daisy erupted.
"My Lord...?" Terrance spoke slowly.
"Every day you've come here, I've seen the look in your eyes," Voldemort said absently. He gestured toward Daisy. "I'm giving you my full permission to go and do as you please with her."
Terrance hesitated, her eyes sliding to Daisy. Fixing on her...a slight tinge coming to her full cheeks...lips passed over with a tongue.
"Go on now," Voldemort said, more firmly.
The Death Eater stepped toward Daisy.
"Father!" Daisy called, gripping her wand tight in hand. "No, I don't want to do this, I'm not- you're not going to just let some-"
"If you require motivation, I've just given it to you," Voldemort said, in a voice he probably thought was paternally soothing. "It's nothing to be afraid of, at any rate, is it? It will not be painful; it will even be pleasurable. I see no reason for you to be so fearful of it."
"Father-"
"I need to know you can defend yourself in this world - against those who would try this very thing with you. Please, Delphi, won't you set your father's mind at ease?"
"I-"
"I'll even give you a choice: his life or hers. Pick whichever you like."
"I can't just kill someone! If it was a- a battle, in the war, or- self defense, yes, but I-"
"Where is the girl who used to proudly claim she would 'just kill' me? Or her mother? The one who tried to do so, time and again, without hesitation? Where has that fire gone? That force of will?"
"You tortured it out of me!" Daisy retorted, thoughtless in her panic.
"And now I'm trying to help you regain it," Voldemort said smoothly, twisting his lips into a wide smile. "I regret my mistakes, Delphi; let me rectify them. If perhaps I was too harsh on you when you first returned, I apologize - now let me fix the damage I caused you."
The woman had closed the distance - was now moving around Daisy like a circling shark...a real predator. One of her slender hands of long nails moved from her side - making contact with Daisy's form.
"F-Father-!" Daisy cried, twisting and shying out of the woman's grasp.
"If there is one thing I despise, it is cowardice hidden behind false bravado. Weakness shielded by bluster," Voldemort interrupted her again, an edge to his voice. "I would hate to think you are such a person, Delphini. Prove to me you are not."
"I- I j-just...want it to stop, I just want to go to my room, please- I want to go-"
"The only one with the power to make this stop is yourself!" Voldemort spoke sternly. "If you wish it to end, then end it. I will not do it for you. How could I trust you to safely navigate this world otherwise? Or, eventually, even join the fight against the Order? Only a powerful, cunning young woman will be trusted to command any of my forces in my stead. Only my own daughter could be trusted with such a thing - to act as my will and hand. But if you cannot even muster the strength of will to defend yourself against a lone assailant, then I cannot trust you with anything - perhaps not even going to Hogwarts. I wouldn't have any peace of mind, knowing you might be preyed on by the other students there; children can be...the worst, Delphini. Believe me: I know."
Daisy turned her head and shoved out against the woman so close to her, heavy and heated.
This was a Death Eater...a Death Eater attacking her - violating her...
Her daddy had been teaching her how to defend herself from them. He had wanted her to be safe, happy out in the world...
And surely daddy would be disappointed in her for just standing there like an idiot...
Daisy never wanted to disappoint him...
And who was this woman anyway?! To touch Daisy, to break her boundaries, to disrupt her autonomy, to lay hands on her very body...
Her body was hers, her life was hers.
She'd never make it back home to mummy, or Ritchie, or Hazel, or anyone else in the Order if she didn't do something! If she folded every time someone tried to hurt her, to screw over her life and her plans for the future of her life...
She would never make it back there!
Not for father - for daddy.
Daisy raised a shaking hand, touching her wand to the woman's stomach, the incantation rising in her mind above the buzzing of all else, above that urge in her stomach to just hurl all over the nice floor: Confringo!
The woman gasped, stumbling backwards and dropping to the floor instantly. She raised her head, staring down at herself incredulously. A hand was raised, quivering, to the gaping hole she had in her body now. Flesh, organs, blood, and bones had been ejected out of her back - a portion of her spinal cord included.
Daisy still felt those hands on her body, a heat and an imprint and...
She aimed her wand down at the woman, yelling out, "Sectumsempra!"
Great bloody gashes tore down her face, her neck and her chest, crisscrossing.
Daisy curled her lip at the woman, feeling heady and sick, but elated, triumphant - relieved, so relieved...But there was only one way to stop it from happening again, forever. "Avada Kedavra!" she yelled the words for the first time in her life.
The green light erupted out of her wand, and when the light faded, the woman lay still.
High laughter, lightest footsteps, and the slither of a cloak. A long hand was laid on her shoulder, and then another, on opposite side. Daisy found herself being pulled into an embrace. By her father.
"There, you see?" he said softly, pleasure in his voice. "I knew you wouldn't disappoint: all you needed was the proper...push. And now it is done, and we can move on from it. Well done, Delphini - very well done. I will gladly see you off to Hogwarts, my darling Delphi. Come, come now - let us gather your things, find your mother, and get you to the Platform early."
Daisy's father seized onto her hand and led her out of the dining room (leaving a very relieved Wilson to collapse onto the floor).
As all the anger, the terror and the disgust bled out of her body, Daisy could feel nothing but a cold sense of remorse.
Again, she tried to tell herself lies - they were Death Eaters, they deserved it in full, she was doing the Order a favor, saving future victims of the world from them, she had had no choice - she grasped at anything and everything...but she couldn't lie to herself.
Even if the before and after had been full of fear and horror...
In the moment she had committed to the acts, she had felt nothing but satisfaction and pleasure.
Daisy had liked it. And she hated herself for it.
She knew just how wrong her daddy would have said it was.
Daisy appeared on Platform 9 and 3/4's, along with her birth parents. She held her feather-light trunk at her side.
She gazed on the red and black steam engine train, and she snorted.
"Look! A muggle invention - I wonder what it's doing here," she said, with all the sarcasm she could muster. "Are all of us purebloods and decent halfbloods really going to be expected to ride in this contraption?!"
"Enough, Delphini," Voldemort said clearly, his hand falling on her shoulder. Though, she thought she detected the slightest tinge of mirth in his voice.
Daisy twisted in her father's grasp, gazing up at him, pulling a supremely innocent look. "I was just wondering why we're going to use a muggle train when we despise them for all that they are. I can't understand it."
"Then I shall enlighten you: while generally worthless, the muggle population, sizable as it is, is capable of creating often-useful inventions and systems, which we mages then pluck up for ourselves from them." Voldemort replied airily. "You could think of it as a harvest - and they, the crops."
"So they are worth keeping around," Daisy stated, in mock wonder. "Be careful, father, everyone on this platform might hear you say something positive about muggles-"
Her words were cut off before her mind could even catch up, and she was writhing on the stone platform in utter agony before she even realized she had fallen. A scream tore from her lungs before she could even hope to slam her jaw shut and catch herself.
The milling crowds around them, whom had already been giving their family a wide berth, suddenly spread apart to give an even wider one. Many eyes gazed on at the scene - gazed upon Daisy. But just as many averted their eyes, turned or bowed their heads, or even covered their faces completely.
And not one single person made even a token gesture to indicate they would try to help her. Not a step forward, not a reach for a wand - not for her.
Daisy lay gasping in aftermath of the spell, her hair ruined (it had been so carefully brushed this morning!), her muscles burning. She silently pushed herself up, getting to her feet again. She bowed her head, hiding in her hair before her father - waiting. For more. Else.
A long, hissing breath was let loose by her father. "Do not presume to tell me what to do or not do! And do not think...that because you are going to be leaving us that you can abandon all sense of decorum - or respect," he spoke lowly - slowly to her. "That would be a great mistake, my child. I can still change my mind about letting you go to Hogwarts."
Daisy worked her jittering jaw - flicked her tongue against the roof of her mouth as it wriggled like a fish, aching in its cage. She managed to swallow. "I'm- sorry...father. Of course I won't."
"Bella - see our daughter onto the train. I have more important matters to attend to today." Voldemort whirled away, his robes trailing, and vanished from the platform.
Daisy sucked in a breath the instant her father was gone, and released it again in a quaver. She shoved her hands into her robes, grasping at her wand of yew. She picked up her trunk again, and raised her head to meet her mother's gaze. "He did it again; he praised me earlier, rewarded me. But he didn't hesitate to just torture me now, and then act like I meant nothing to him. Like earlier never happened for him. It's the pattern, mother. With me, with you, with anyone he-"
"Don't start with that talk again!" Bellatrix snapped, letting out a long suffering noise. She put her hands on her hips and gazed skyward. "You deserved that for your audaciously rude behavior!"
"I deserved to be tortured for a little bit of sass?"
Bellatrix scoffed, lifting a hand to wave it at Daisy. "As if you aren't used to it by now! Don't play the shocked little girl, not with me! The way your mind works, you might even have intended him to do that to you to prove some kind of point."
"So I wanted it now, that's what you're saying?"
"How should I know?" Bellatrix retorted, sighing. "I still have no idea how your devious little mind works, girl."
Daisy held her mother's gaze, stepping in closer. "You could comfort me, you know. You could ask if I'm alright, you could hug me..."
"I just told you not to act as if you're some helpless, sniveling little girl," her mother growled, irritated. "Stop trying to pull that act; it's not going to work on me today! Not half an hour ago you eviscerated and murdered a woman - something which I'm incredibly proud of you for!"
"Forget it then. You don't even care about me."
"You're my daughter, of course I care! Don't put words in my mouth!" Bellatrix said waspishly.
"Then show me!"
"Fine!" Bellatrix seized Daisy's wand wrist and yanked her forward roughly, causing her to stumble and fall right into her - right against her. Her arms wrapped around her, a hand grasped her head and pulled it into her bosom. Fingers contracted to fiercely pet at Daisy's skull. "Did the awhful father's spell huwrt my wittle baby that tewwibly?" she cooed in babying tones overhead. "Oh you poor wittle thing! Do you want to just cwy into mummy's breasts all day long? Is that it?"
"God, just go to hell already!" Daisy shoved at her mother with a snarl, tearing free of her grasp and stumbling back from her. "Don't be a patronizing bitch!"
"This is exactly the sort of behavior that's earned you so many harsh punishments over the years - the most recent one included!" Bellatrix said furiously. "You only have yourself to blame if you can't learn to hold your tongue, girl!"
"Or maybe it's just wrong to torture people for minor rudeness in the first place!" Daisy insisted loudly.
"Oh, this again!" Bellatrix laughed in her face. "It's not as if it leaves permanent damage - you're over it in a few hours, tops! Don't act like it's a terrible crime."
Daisy glared murderously at her mother.. "Does it even bother you to have to watch that happen to me? To see me screaming on the ground like that?"
"Of course it bothers me - but that's not relevant to the fact that you bring your punishments on yourself," Bellatrix dismissed.
"So you care when I get hurt...just...not enough to want to stop it. Because it's my own fault."
Bellatrix gazed at her, flushed, heaving. She started to speak, then closed her mouth. "I- I can't make our Lord stop doing anything - what would you have me do, run up and grab his wand arm?" she stammered out. "It's up to you to avoid being- punished like that."
"Sometimes we can't avoid it. Sometimes he just feels like taking his feelings out on us. Is that fair? Do we deserve that, too?" Daisy said evenly.
"I- that- is not the same as what just happened," Bellatrix said lowly, flushing ever more now, turning her head away. "If our Lord feels that we...if he has feelings to work through, and we're-"
"No. Come on, you are not going to seriously defend that. Don't excuse it - don't excuse Tom."
"Don't use that name!" Bellatrix hissed, moving forward like a ghost to seize her arm again. She began to drag her across the platform, far and away from the crowds - to a dark corner near a dirty brick wall. It was here that Bellatrix pushed Daisy right up against that wall, getting in her face. "Don't you dare speak that name out here! The last time he learned you said it aloud he made me fear for your life!" she hissed out, verging on panic.
Daisy seized on that detected emotion. "Act like a real mother for once, would you?! Just love me, just care about me!" she said desperately. "Why is it so hard for you?! All you can do is hurt me, scold me, tell me I'm not good enough! Can't you do anything else?!"
Bellatrix's face softened. She looked to where she still held Daisy's arm. She let her go carefully, sighing. Then, just as carefully, she stepped forward and drew Daisy into a gentle hug. A real embrace. "I...I do love you - I care about you-"
"Not enough to let me be safe, and happy! Not enough to leave him for me! Or to at least just let me go myself!"
"-but oftentimes you make it far too difficult to remember that," her mother went on firmly. Her grip tightened on Daisy briefly. "It is stunts like that that...make me so worried for you, as much as I become upset with you. But I- I...I suppose I become so upset because I worry for you. When you keep doing that, drawing his wrath..."
"You know...that we don't deserve it, right?" Daisy said quietly. "Please, just tell me you know that. Tell me we don't. When we've done nothing wrong and he just...does it anyways, because we're there...that's wrong, isn't it?"
A silence. Bellatrix began to take up an anxious stroking of Daisy's hair. "I- yes, I suppose he could be...mistaken, in those instances. But you know he...he has a high temper, and he- he does attend to us after, he does show his affection for us-"
"Affection, but not love," Daisy noted. "You love me, don't you?"
"Of course I love you."
"And I love you," Daisy said, not knowing if it was a lie or not. She wanted to love this woman, for sure, but... "But him? You can't say he loves you. Or me."
"He does love us!"
"Maybe he loves me, but only for the fact that I'm an extension of himself," Daisy murmured. "He doesn't love me for me. He doesn't see me for who I really am. The same thing is true about you, mother. He only keeps you close because you're useful."
"Don't talk like this now," Bellatrix said, an edge entering her voice. "You'll miss the train."
Daisy sighed, and pulled free of her mother's embrace. "Right. Sorry, mother. I don't know what I'm thinking here. It's nonsense, honestly."
Bellatrix regarded her with an intense frown. Then- "When you get to Hogwarts, ask Severus Snape about Occlumency. Clearly, you're never going to let these feelings go, and I won't see you getting into trouble with the Dark Lord - getting punished for it - over and over again...so if you can agree to learn Occlumency, and to keep these things to yourself, I- I will agree to listen to you when you want to express them. But you need to not go around doing as you did today, shouting such things in public! If word gets back to your father...Well, you've always been a fast learner, and with Occlumency under your belt, you should be able to prevent him from discovering it whenever this- foolishness leaks out of your mind."
Hope rose in Daisy's chest. "Mother-"
"We'll keep it all locked up - in your little head, and mine," Bellatrix cut across, nodding to herself. "Call it a mother-daughter secret. Understand?"
Daisy hugged her mother quite enthusiastically. "Thank you, mother! Thank you..."
Bellatrix squirmed with discomfort, then grasped Daisy's arms and forced her away - held her at arm's length. "Go - get on board. I'll see you again for the holidays. Ah, and be sure not to tell Snape that I was the one who told you to ask him about learning this technique! Tell him you found it in a book somewhere - that you wanted to learn it to keep the Order out of your head should they ever abduct you again; they'll want to pick every last scrap of information you've stored up in your mind since I got you back from them."
"Yes, mother. Thank you, again, so much."
"Yes, well...go on! Enjoy yourself, work hard - keep your mouth shut and stay out of trouble!" Bellatrix said quickly, releasing her, her cheeks flushing. But there was a thin smile playing across her lips - a real one. One that was true, and warm, and light...one that made her look, for once, not quite so bad to Daisy.
"I promise," Daisy agreed. It was the only thing she could do, anyway; any attempt to flee, and...everyone she really loved was going to die.
Daisy lingered, staring at her mother still. Bellatrix almost flinched under her intense gaze. I'll still have to kill you and father to get away - to save everyone I actually love and care for in the world. Father will make good on his threat - and if you're still alive even after I kill him, I know you'll go on the warpath for him. You'll blame all of them, and not yourself. Not him. Not the Death Eaters. You'll blame the Order, and muggleborns, and muggles. Like they did anything wrong...
"Delphi, what's wrong?"
Daisy pressed her lips into a thin smile, brushing her hair back and turning on the spot, putting her back to her mother. "Nothing. I'm going to be late. Goodbye."
"W-wait!"
Daisy glanced back at her mother. "What?"
"I...just- stop being so afraid of being hurt," Bellatrix spoke, slow and uncertain. "At Hogwarts - as long as you behave - you won't be...hurt again. Just behave, be polite, and the Headmaster won't need to call your father up to deal with you. Just...be good, all right?"
Daisy nodded. "I swear I will be. Were you, when you were at school?" she added swiftly.
Bellatrix's lips parted - she shook her head and snorted. She tossed her head of voluminous dark hair and set hands on her hips. "Well, I'll admit, I did often get up to things that my own mother would have severely disapproved of...whenever she found out about it. Mostly, she never did."
"So you were a proud rebel, once, mother?" Daisy said thoughtfully. "I wonder what happened to that girl. To go from a proud, independent witch...into a simpering fool."
Her mother's face turned ugly. "She learned how to be a proper witch, to dedicate herself to-"
"But when she wasn't, were Cissy and Andy involved in those acts too?" Daisy pressed on.
"A couple of times, perhaps - in our first few years. But I can hardly recall those days!" Bellatrix snapped out. "And none of this matters, anyway! Why am I even telling you this?"
Daisy pressed her lips together, staring harder at her mother.
"What?" Bellatrix said, annoyed.
"You're still sisters. You still love her - I know you do. The three of you were inseparable - you laughed together, you played together, you must have studied together too, and slept in the same room for a while, maybe...maybe you had pillow fights, or you played games and-"
"That's enough!" Bellatrix snapped, her eyes sharp and dangerous, her face paling. She took a deep breath. "If you have anything to say, you'll say it to me in private, after you've gotten a good grasp on Occlumency," she went on, furious and low. That hint of fear in her eyes again...of panic...
Daisy froze, flinching. Then she drew a breath, and gave a last nod. "Alright, mother. I'm sorry; that wasn't too intelligent of me, was it? I'll see you later."
Bellatrix sighed, running a hand through her hair. "I wish you wouldn't always be so..."
But she never finished that thought. With a loud crack, Bellatrix disapparated, leaving Daisy to wonder.
Leaving Daisy alone with an aching, trembling body still.
She looked around herself, at the bustling crowd of people who were all studiously avoiding looking at her. Her lip curled at them, and anger rose in her chest. She hefted her trunk and started for the nearest train car.
Why had she even bothered with her mother? Why was she even still trying? She shouldn't be feeling anything for this woman - no remorse, no guilt, nothing. Killing her was the right thing to do: for everyone. All the innocent, defenseless people her mother had killed and tormented. And would continue to, until the day she died.
Daisy should feel nothing for her, for the thought of ending her life.
So why did it keep nagging at her? Why did it squeeze her inside?
Blood meant nothing, biology meant nothing. That the woman gave birth to Daisy meant nothing!
There was no connection, there was no bond, there wasn't even much in common. There were moments, here and there, but so rare in between all the rest of their time together.
Daisy could not even be her true self around the woman.
The woman still kept calling her Delphini!
So why?
Why did it feel like it would hurt for Daisy to go through with it? She wished she were more like her father; it must be so easy to do what he did in the world without a conscience. Without guilt, or remorse...Not even a flicker...
And, Daisy thought enviously, it must be really nice to not feel love; if you couldn't feel love, you couldn't feel the pain when you lost it. When you lost...
Even years on, Daisy still felt like she was being stabbed through her heart at thought of her daddy - their time together before. And Kreacher, too.
She often wished she could just shut it all off, push it away and never feel it again.
Daisy acknowledged that her and her mother, they had their moments, over the years. Moments of connection, moments of concession, moments of reward.
But they were only ever moments.
And moments weren't enough.
Moments...weren't enough to...change Daisy's mind - alter her course. Her mind and her soul were made up. And she wasn't going to change it now. It was too late for her father, and too late for mother, too. That was just how it was. They couldn't feel, couldn't see it, couldn't realize. And Daisy didn't want to waste her time trying to make them anymore. She had been trying for years (sometimes at risk of her own body and health, when they got annoyed or angry with her for pushing - like this time).
Now, she just wanted to find a way out, an escape route, and wash her hands of them. Get back to who and what she knew, what she really loved, and never think about them again. And pray...hope...
That they would never drag her away again.
She swore it to herself: today was the last day of trying. Her mother was a lost cause. Her father had been a lost cause for decades already.
And she was done with them both.
Daisy stepped onto the train, moving down the aisle, from car to car. She passed many a compartment - passed other kids running up and down the train, laughing and yelling, being affectionate with each other. She passed people with animals - pets. Loud bangs and puffs of smoke, high droning sounds and a Fanged Frisbee flew out of a compartment's open doorway to nearly strike her in the side of the head. She leaned back and ducked to avoid it. She straightened, brushing at her hair and smiling.
She was never one for crowds - or obnoxious loudness - but after all this time, even she couldn't help but just be happy about where she was. Just like they were all happy to be here. What was that saying? Happiness was infectious? Or was that laughter and smiles? Either way...she felt like smiling now.
So she let herself.
Even if she knew, factually and intellectually, that the place Hogwarts was now was not the same as it had been in all those stories her daddy used to tell her...Daisy still felt a thrill of excitement at the idea of attending.
However, her excitement was dampened, in short order, by the behavior of those who noticed her: children in the compartments would watch her as she passed, then pretend they hadn't; people in the aisle pressed themselves flat to avoid her, or ducked into empty compartments so obviously, fearful looks on their faces.
She was never going to have a chance to make a friend in this kind of environment, she thought glumly. Angrily. At them, at the world - at her father for telling everyone who she was, parading her to the media in those early weeks, photoshoots and interviews at the Ministry...
Well, if nobody was going to be around her willingly, then she would just force her own company onto them!
Then they'd have to spend time with her, and then, in time...they would get used to it, and- and- and they would become friends!
Daisy just had to be the one to make the first move - and keep the pressure up. That wasn't going to be new to her; in fact, it would feel quite natural.
She moved on to the next crowded train car, and chose a compartment there entirely at random. She walked right in through the open door, chin raised, and sat down at the nearest empty spot on the seat after stowing her trunk on the overhead rack. This compartment was occupied by three other girls around Daisy's own age.
It was immediately obvious from the girls' behavior that they knew exactly who Daisy was.
The girl Daisy had sat down next to was shying away from her, turning her whole head away to stare out the window. Daisy saw a tremble go through the girl's body, up close and personal.
The three girls were vastly different from one another. The one next to Daisy was thin and small, with white-blonde hair cut to shoulder length, and an abundance of freckles on very pale skin. The other two, who were seated across from Daisy, were further disparate: a large girl of copper hair in a high ponytail, and a girl of short cut dark hair with purple highlights, wearing all black clothes (very stylish pants and a midriff baring top) and a great deal of makeup on her face. The dark haired girl had a glinting stud of a ring in her nose, as well, Daisy noticed.
None of the girls looked happy about their situation. Not at all.
They were all trying to avoid looking at her!
The were ignoring her!
Daisy refused to let them.
She touched the arm of the blonde girl beside her; the girl jumped horribly, spinning to face her with wide eyes and shaking lips.
"Hi!" she said, in her warmest, most brightest voice possible, flashing a big smile. "I'm- Delphi. Sorry about scaring you," she added swiftly, utterly sincere. She didn't want to go around scaring any potential new friends!
"I- it's- o-ok..." the girl managed to get out somehow, with extreme stuttering. "I- I'm...R-Rigel."
Daisy beamed. "That's a real pretty name."
"T-t-than- than...thanks!"
Daisy turned her gaze to the other girls, forcing them to catch her eye. "What are your names?" she said, determined. She wished it could have been so much easier - she wished she could have just been a girl named Daisy, happy go lucky on the train to Hogwarts - but it was never going to be. Not for her, not now. Any chance of that had been stolen from her a long time ago.
The large girl gave a terrified, trembling smile before looking away again. Her answer was a murmur, as if giving away her name was signing a death warrant. "...my name's...Mallory."
"I love it," Daisy said firmly. "And I love you hair, too."
"...thank you..."
Daisy set eyes on the dark haired, dark clothed girl. Her smile grew. "And what about you?"
The girl took in several breaths, seeming to be psyching herself up to even talking to Daisy. Then she looked her in the eye, a hardness there. "It's Edith."
"Edith," Daisy repeated. "Your hair is amazing - and your outfit - and your...nose ring? I've wanted earrings for a long time, but I never thought about putting them in other places. I'd like some tattoos, too. Do you have those?"
The girl stared back at her, baleful. She held up her arm and grabbed her sleeve, pulling it back to expose her forearm. There was a long, complicated jet black tattoo of a flower surrounded by thorns. "Happy?" she said, with pure spite.
"Yes," Daisy admitted, ignoring the tone as best she could. She understood it (yet even still, a part of her felt indignant and frustrated - she didn't deserve it!). "Thank you for showing me."
"Whatever." The girl gave a scoff and turned her whole body away from Daisy.
"Don't..." Mallory whispered out, grabbing Edith's arm.
Edith shrugged her off, brushing back her bangs and making a little pfft noise. "Don't what?"
"Don't get her mad..." Malloy implored further, with a quivering intake of air.
Edith gave another scoff, and threw a glance Daisy's way. "Why? I'm not scared of her. She's not the 'Dark Lord', she's not a Death Eater! She's just a little runt of a girl! And I mean, did you see her out there, flopping around like a fish? How can you be afraid of that?"
Daisy jumped to her feet, drawing her wand and aiming it at Edith in an instant.
Mallory let out a scream and threw herself as far to the side as she could; Rigel threw herself prone on the seat, hiding her face in her hands, as little choked sounds and whimpers began to escape her.
Edith froze up in her seat, her eyes wide. She gazed up at Daisy. Then- she laughed. A nervous laugh, but it was a laugh. "Oooh, scary. What are you going to do? Make sparks at me? I've heard that's about all any of us can do at this age."
Daisy herself was frozen where she stood, her wand shaking. No, her hand was shaking! Her anger flared at the girl's challenge, her words - the desire to show her just how wrong she was! To show her what Daisy could do - far beyond whatever she could dream of! To put her in her place for mocking her torture! But...
She was Daisy, not Delphini, wasn't she?
She shouldn't do that, she couldn't do that - how could she put another girl through the same thing she had experienced time and again? Knowing just how awful it was, how it lingered, how it made her want to puke and die and...
And her daddy would never forgive her for this. He wouldn't like this at all.
He wouldn't love her for this!
She knew exactly what he would have said if he were still alive. If he could see her right now.
She was good, she was compassionate, she had empathy! She wasn't like her parents, she didn't want to be like them! She just wanted this all to stop, to leave it all and go home again...
To be an innocent, happy girl again...
To not know all the things she knew now, to stop doing all the things she had been forced to do now...
She just wanted to be Daisy again...
She lowered her wand, shoved it back in her pocket, and then she fled the compartment with a cry (hating herself for that, too).
Daisy ran down the train, heedless of anyone else. She finally stopped in an empty car near the back. She looked at the door, out the portal as the green countryside passed by. She swiped at her eyes and stepped toward the door, grasping it. She pulled it open, grunting with exertion and falling back as the loud, violent wind began to whip at her.
I can just leave, I can just go home! I'm not like my mother - weak, infatuated with a monster, too pathetic to just get out of this shitty life situation! I can just step off this train, and I can fly away! I can fly home! I can see my friends again, I can see the Order again - Remus, Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, Ginny, Hermione and Ron, and mummy...
Daisy grasped the support bar as her hair flew around her in a tangled mess. Unmoving.
No, no, come on feet, work! Just step off, just fly away!
But if she did-
NO! It wouldn't be my fault, it wouldn't be my fault! I just want to go home, I just want to see my family and my friends again! It's not my fault if something terrible happens to everyone!
Maybe she did want to go home, but did everyone at home want to see her again?
Five years in this life, with torture and punishments, and seeing and hearing things she wished she could blast out of her own mind forever...and no one had come for her. No one from the Order had even tried to send her a message, or gave any indication they were looking for her.
They all had to have seen it in the papers, years ago. They had to all know by now. Long since had known.
And they hadn't come to save her.
Had everyone just washed their hands of her? Had they been disgusted with what they learned? Hated her for it, taking away all the love they had once shown her? Did they feel betrayed by it - by her?
Did they think that her daddy's death...was her fault?
Daisy couldn't blame them for that last one, at least: she knew that one was true - and she felt the same way.
And her mummy...she had to have taken the first chance she got to not have to deal with Daisy anymore. To stop trying. Stop caring. With daddy dead, who was going to call her on it? Who was going to stop her? Who would even care?
Who was left who cared...about Daisy at all?
Clearly, the answer was no one.
Visions of Ritchie, and Hazel swam before her eyes. Playing together, laughing together...hugging each other so often...
It wouldn't be my fault...
But...
Daisy stepped away and slashed her wand before her; the train door slammed shut.
Maybe nobody cared about her anymore, but she still cared about them.
And she just couldn't be the responsible for all of their deaths. She wasn't going to be! She wouldn't!
She knew her daddy would have hated her if she went through with it.
And she would have hated herself - forever.
She turned away, and slowly made her way back through the train.
With her head down, she wasn't paying attention to where she was going. Not really. This was how she ran smack into some older boy who was coming out of a compartment on her left.
"Oof! Hey, why don't you watch where you're walking-" he started. He clammed up quick as he took her in fully - her face. "I- I'm sorry!"
Daisy put on a thin, wobbling smile, shaking her head at the boy. "No: I'm sorry," she said thickly. "I wasn't paying attention to where I was going. Are you okay?"
The boy's eyes widened. "Uh- I- yes...I'm okay..."
"Good," Daisy said, nodding, and she carefully stepped around the boy to continue on.
Exactly what her daddy would have expected of her.