Hi, all! I'm reposting this chapter because, simply, it's been almost completely rewritten and I managed to almost double the size of the first chapter. I urge all of you to reread it because I've added a lot of exposition and basically it means that chapter two will make sense. Thank you to everyone who has followed and favourite this (but I have no idea what you guys actually think of it so imma just keep doing what I'm doing, kay?).

One with the story (and again, this chapter is super important if you don't want the smut to be OOC ^^")


A snowball shattered against her window, jolting Elsa's attention away from the words running together in her MS Word document. Three more balls followed in quick succession, and with a sigh, she approached the pane of glass. As expected, a mop of red hair—fashioned into twin braids—and a taunting grin shone up at her.

Anna—for who else could it be but her perky classmate and neighbour?—gave a wave, and though Elsa hadn't checked the time, she knew it must have been late.

Finally, belatedly realising she hadn't given any sort of greeting, Elsa returned the action with one of her own, the movement jerky and short. Her stomach rolled uncomfortably, but she relished the feeling anyway.

She relished anything to do with Anna, and had for as long as she could remember. The mere thought of the girl set off fiery bubbles of warmth in her stomach and turned her normally pallid tone bright red.

Elsa couldn't trust herself around her best friend and she hated herself because of it.

Well... no, that wasn't strictly-speaking true. Elsa hated the power Anna held over her, especially because Anna didn't even realise. She was... oblivious like that. Each and every touch sent molten strings of pleasure through her veins that refused to dissipate for hours, and Elsa knew, when she began gravitating towards Anna, giving her excuses for skin-on-skin contact, that she had to stop. So, she began to back away, slowly so as not to alert the girl. It seemed to work for the most part, and Elsa both cursed and appreciated the girl's obliviousness when it did.

But, no matter her conflicted thoughts in that moment, Elsa knew she couldn't refuse. She had never refused before. Three months of distancing herself and if she was truly unlucky, it was about to go down the drain because of a smile and a midnight visit...

Biting her lip, she glanced over her shoulder. The landing light hadn't crept underneath her door at the noise of the snowballs, and she could still hear her father's light snores from further down the hallway. The inside of her cheek joined her lip, resting between her teeth, and she held up a finger to Anna. The smile was almost impossible to bite back as the girl fist-pumped silently, doing a small victory dance, but Elsa did it. It didn't matter that she had to draw blood in the process; she couldn't be allowed to think such things.

It wasn't so much that she had feelings for her best friend (for Elsa had long since accepted that fact). It was meeting and talking and laughing with her each morning after Elsa hadn't been able to get thoughts of Anna from her head, shame mixing potently with those little bubbles of happiness so all she felt was sick.

Only for it to repeat the next night with her hand stuffed down the front of her trousers and Anna's name in the forefront of her mind.

Elsa wanted to stay and watch until the redhead was done, her innocent display of fun exactly what the blonde needed to see, but the thought of her parents catching her sneaking out was enough to get her to move. Shevgrabbed her scarf and gloves as quickly as she could, knowing that she probably wouldn't get into too much trouble—they liked the pubescent red-head just as much as Elsa did (well, not quite)—but it was still something Elsa didn't want to have to face.

And, Elsa thought, allowing herself the chance for a wry grin as she made her way down the stairs to the front room and snagging her snow boots from their place beside the door, moving also meant she could actually be in Anna's presence instead of watching from afar. She pushed down every single thought that plagued her about Anna, good or bad, and chose to focus on the fact that she could just exist with the girl. She could ignore everything else if she tried. Conceal it if she couldn't ignore it.

That, she knew, was a much better motivator.

It wasn't longer than three minutes since the first snowball before Elsa was crunching through the snow towards her freckled neighbour, arms wrapped around her waist in a small hug. Anna jumped excitedly in place, rosy pink nose illuminated by the sputtering streetlight that lit the distance between their two houses. This wasn't a radical occurrence; ever since she was little, Elsa would be dragged from her home in order to play with Anna. It was easy; their mothers had both joined the same play groups, they went to the same primary, and then secondary, schools, and grew up wandering in and out of each other's homes.

Anna had once called Elsa the sister she never had; a bittersweet memory that only served to hurt Elsa further as her mind and body grew resistant to her efforts to just forget her feelings.

"You realise how late it is," Elsa asked as she came to stop beside the fidgeting girl, lifting an eyebrow.

"Pfft," Anna sputtered, still dancing from foot to foot, waving off the blonde with a hand gesture. "You weren't asleep anyway. You never go to sleep before like, 2am anyway."

Elsa glanced at her feet when she realised that Anna was right. She refused to voice the idea that, had she been asleep, she would have come down to meet Anna anyway.

The duo stood in silence for a moment, Elsa her feet and Anna watching blonde kicked around a bit of snow, eyes flicking up to watch Anna and the way the red-head's breath condensed in the air. Her own breath did nothing of the sort, and watching her friend attempt to create breath-rings had always been a source of amusement for both girls.

"You wanna go to the fields?" Anna said after a moment, realising that there was too much silence and Elsa had finally looked at her. "I mean, you don't have to, and obviously if you weren't sleeping, you were working, and it's probably important, but I figure that it snowed earlier so the fields probably have a really nice layer that we can use and um... yeah..."

Elsa had long since grown used to her friend's rambling—an occupational hazard when it came to spending time around Anna—and she loosed a smile at her.

"Sure."

She should have been expecting the grin that enveloped Anna's face (and, to a point, she was) but she still couldn't help the way she stiffened slightly as Anna leaned forward and grabbed her gloved hand, warmth seeping through the poly-cotton blend almost immediately.

Anna didn't notice. Anna never noticed.

It was the only thing that kept Elsa from wrenching her hand away, if she were honest with herself; that would certainlycatch the red-head's attention. Why put herself in that position?

The walk to the fields was taken mostly in silence, and Elsa was loathe to break it. It was Anna who usually carried on conversation, with the blonde interjecting at appropriate intervals or offering her own opinion when needed. But that was okay—it was just their dynamic, she supposed.

Still, Elsa was finding it hard to focus on anything but the way Anna seemed to have moved even closer, their shoulders in constant contact. The fields were only a short walk away—they were, after all, simply a few different-sized soccer and football ovals that could be used by the community—but the walked seemed longer than ever to Elsa without Anna's voice to distract her. It was... strange.

No, it wasn't strange, it was weird and scary and Elsa didn't like it at all.

"You okay?"

Anna jolted with a start, surprised at being addressed—not that Elsa could really blame her. She didn't often take the initiative with conversation.

"M-me?" Anna stuttered, earning a soft giggle from the taller girl that refused to be bitten back. "Oh, I'm fine! More than fine, better than fine. I'm fine-tastic- wait, no, fantastic. You know what else is fantastic? Snow. And snowmen, they're so gorgeous. Like you because you had the same colour skin and hair but not the same because you're real and warm and they're not-"

She cut herself off there, forcing her eyes to the floor in embarrassment. Growing to the same shade in the dark sky, her ears were lost in her hair—as were her freckles. Elsa's silent laughter petered out when she noticed Anna biting her lip, for the first time in many, many years, embarrassed about her rambling.

She didn't know what to make of it, and that awful feeling had begun to surge through her body again at the sight of a blushing Anna. Thankfully, they arrived at the fields not long after, Anna releasing her hand as she bounced up and down on the balls of her feet. The whole area had remained untouched since the last snowfall, creating small banks of soft powder. It wasn't perfect snowman building snow—not by a long shot—but that didn't really matter.

Suddenly, Elsa felt something thud into her chest. She glanced down, momentarily surprised to find remnants of a snowball splattered across her front. It hadn't hurt at all, and when Anna tried again, Elsa couldn't help but grin.

She had been right—the snow truly was terrible. Any clump that Anna sent her way separated mid-air, spreading out and generally just rendering the projectile harmless. It was Anna's devastated look that finally sent Elsa over the edge and she began giggling in ernest.

The laughter petered out as Elsa formed a plan, her eyes narrowing as a grin slid from the side of her mouth. As soon as her eyes met Anna's, the disappointed pout on the red-head's face dripped into something more like horror, and suddenly she was running.

Elsa let out a bark of laughter and chased after her, scooping up a handful of snow and flinging it at the red-head. The powder was terrible, but it was worth it when Anna froze in her spot and began dancing around like a madman.

"Cold! Cold, cold, cold, cold, cold," she chattered, shaking her anorak as best she could to get out the bits of snow that had already begun to melt against her warm skin.

As soon as the thought crossed her mind, Elsa's laughter died down, and she let out a slow breath. She didn't need any runaway thoughts at the moment. She didn't want them. They would grow and taint the good times she spent with her friend; at least when they came at home, the shame and disgust was limited to her bedroom.

Shaking her head in a valiant attempt to dislodge the thoughts that were very quickly going beyond the PG-rated confines of her mind, Elsa was completely unaware of Anna slowing her actions, creeping close with her own handful.

To say that coming back to her senses via a very evil-looking fifteen-year-old shoving snow down the front of her shirt would be an understatement. It was tantamount to a declaration of war, and after she had done her own little dance to clear her clothes of snow Elsa had no trouble once again picking up the chase, attempting to return the favour.

It helped, though, that the frigid snow was on par with taking a cold shower, and she was determined to keep a tighter hold on her senses.

They lost track of time, as they always did. The snowball fight gradually dwindled, running and throwing and shrieking in pure delight tiring them out faster due to the late hour. The fight turned into a snowman-building contest, though that was scrapped, as it always was, in favour of building a single snowman to share. It would probably fall apart if pushed by the slightest breeze, but Anna didn't care, and if Anna didn't care, neither did Elsa. Their clothes were slightly damp, and though Elsa wasn't feeling it, she noticed Anna shivering when they finally stopped, sitting beneath a tall spruce tree that flanked the different fields and admiring their handiwork.

"Here," she offered, unwrapping her scarf. Anna's eyes widened and she began to protest, only to be silenced as Elsa shuffled closer, placing the knitted material around her friend's neck. It wasn't until Anna looked up at her, eyes half-lidded, that Elsa realised how close they were.

"B-better?" she stuttered, backing off as quickly as she could while still hoping to maintain some semblance of normalcy. Her face heated up and she could only hope Anna thought it was because of the weather. If Anna noticed the hastened movements, she didn't say anything, instead bringing the end of the scarf up to her cheek to nuzzle into it.

"Much," she replied, smiling softly at Elsa. The blonde gulped softly, letting her hands wrap around her sides in a half-hug that echoed the one she had done earlier. That same sensation in her stomach came back with a vengeance, determined to crawl out of her chest like a facehugger, and when Anna's smile widened a fraction more, revealing a sliver of white enamel, Elsa found it almost impossible to quash down the entirely inappropriate thoughts that sprung up from it.

Elsa suddenly remembered precisely why she had been keeping her distance; her body couldn't cope with so much stress in one day. She'd go home and ignore her homework in favour of defiling every thought she'd ever had, every sweet memory of Anna, and afterwards she'd hate herself for committing such sickening acts, unable to hold back.

Nodding, Elsa skirted away from Anna as subtly as she could, taking deep, measured, silent breaths in an attempt to get herself under control.

They sat in a silence that, to Elsa, felt as uncomfortable as a lumpy couch. Anna didn't seem to notice, though the blonde noted with a pang that her blind eye seemed to have infected her good ones. Elsa tried vainly to ignore the way Anna seemed drawn to her—the positive to her negative like poles on a magnet, but she couldn't help it when every cell in her body seemed to attune itself to the girl next to her. It was slow and surreptitious at first until suddenly they were bumping shoulders again and Elsa had completely lost her breath. To make matters worse, Anna lay her head down on the blonde's shoulder, letting out a slow yawn that brushed over Elsa's neck and made the girl shiver delightfully.

"Sure you're not cold?" Anna questioned as she felt the movement. Elsa swallowed stiffly, nodding.

"I'm sure," she said, voice barely louder than a whisper.

The silence overtook them once again, just as Anna's hand found Elsa's and began tracing patterns on the back of it. It was such an innocent gesture and yet it still set Elsa's heart ablaze.

"I lied. Earlier," Anna said suddenly, voice soft. She was hesitating, Elsa knew, but she wasn't sure why. She wasn't even sure what Anna could have lied about. "I'm not fine. I just..." She let out another sigh, thumb rubbing circles over Elsa's gloved hand and successfully distracting the blonde from everything but the Moment.

"It's been so long since we last hung out," she began again. "I wasn't even sure if you'd come down to meet with me tonight."

Elsa let out a small sound in the back of her throat. She knew this already; she hadn't been the best friend the last few months, but... it shouldn't really matter, should it? Just because Anna had claimed to be Elsa's 'BFF' all those years ago (and really, she never even gave Elsa a say in the matter—not that the blonde could find much fault with it) but that didn't mean she was Anna's best friend. The girl was on the cheer team and had so many other friends. Better friends, even. Friends that were normal and kind and friends that didn't get off to the thought of her—them—going so much further than 'friends'.

Elsa found herself incapable of replying. Because she knew that she'd have come down regardless, but if she spoke those words, they'd lose all meaning. Completely empty because she hadn't shown Anna that. Even in class she'd quietened down, avoiding Anna as best she could without outright ignoring her.

She knew she had hurt Anna.

But the girl wasn't holding it against her. It seemed impossible for her to stay mad for too long, and Elsa refused to let herself bite back the guilt that had crept through her chest. She deserved it.

"I'm sorry if I did something wrong..." Anna began, stopping when Elsa's fingers suddenly tightened around her own.

"No."

The word was soft, barely a breath of air through her tight lips, but the force behind it was sharp enough to cut through the air, and Anna flinched a little at the strength of it. "It's not your fault at all," Elsa continued, forcing herself to keep talking, to reassure Anna. "You didn't do anything wrong. I was just... busy..."

Anna let out a snort, but with her head still angled on Elsa's shoulder, the blonde wasn't able to see her expression at all. Silence fell again between them, but this time, Elsa wasn't sure it was comfortable. Belatedly, she realised that she hadn't released her grip on Anna's hands, and she all but jerked way when she finally noticed. The movement caused Anna to roll her head to look at Elsa in confusion. Elsa's breath caught in her throat when she realised how close Anna's face was to her own.

"Whatever," Anna said eventually, voice thick. It caught on something, but she angled her head away as she stood up, refusing to face Elsa. An ache settled in Elsa's chest, and she bit the inside of her cheek. Even when trying to protect Anna, she still only managed to hurt her. "It's late," Anna's voice filtered through the cold air, forcing Elsa's thoughts away from introspection. "Let's just go home." Without another word, she began walking away.

"Anna, wait!" Elsa scrambled to her feet and chased after the red-head who hadn't halted at all despite the plea. They had reached the footpath by the time Elsa caught up, Anna still refusing to stop or even face Elsa.

Suddenly, stupidly, Elsa was upset,and without even thinking about it, she reached out, wrapping her willowy fingers around a freckled wrist. The anger dissipated as Anna refused to look at her, and suddenly, Elsa felt very small. Her friend was hurting because of her and she'd been to caught up feeling bad o worry about it.

"What's wrong, Anna?" she asked softly, swallowing thickly when Anna raised her head and finally turned to face the blonde.

"It doesn't matter," came the reply, even as the light from a lamp highlighted Anna's face, eyes red from something other than the chill wind. Even without it, Elsa knew Anna was lying.

"You're lying to me," she said, tightening her grip slightly. "What's really wrong?"

"I'm lying to you?" Anna repeated, eyes widening before she wrenched her hand from Elsa's grasp. "You're hidingsomething from me!"

The sudden outburst was met with complete silence. Elsa's mouth was open a fraction, her hands falling to hug herself at the waist. Anna's lips darted out to wet her lips, and Elsa was powerless to stop her eyes from being drawn to the action, unconsciously mimicking the action.

"Elsa, we were so close," Anna began again, and Elsa could hear the way she forced the words out around a lump in her throat. "We used to be... buddies. Friends. We used to tell each other everything and now you're hiding something from me. What did I do to you to make you not want to share something important with me?"

She was begging—pleading—but it fell on deaf ears because Elsa couldn't tell her. It wasn't an option. It was better to have Anna angry at her than hating her, and that was precisely what would happen.

How could she tell the girl who had called her a sister that she was having decidedly un-sisterly thoughts about the two of them, together, doing decidedly un-sisterly things? She couldn't, and so the question was again met with stony silence even as Elsa shut her mouth and began chewing on her bottom lip.

"You want to know what's wrong?" Anna said again after several heartbeats, sniffling. "I'm tired. I'm tired of you keeping secrets because... because you don't think I can keep them or take them or whatever. You're my best friend, Els."

She took a breath as she looked up, making sure that their eyes met before she continued. "You know everything about me but I can't know what's bothering you?" The final few words were said so softly, so warmly and gently, that Elsa couldn't help but crumble, tearing her eyes away from Anna's because she knew she'd never see the same feelings echoed there.

Looking away, Elsa didn't notice when Anna stepped forward, approaching Elsa until their chests lmost touched. "Elsa," she said, taking the blonde's gloved hand in her own, "I don't know what you think I'm going to do, but I won't do it- unless it's good. I'll do it if it's good, but otherwise- Elsa, we can work whatever it is out together, and I'll be right here to help."

Elsa's bottom lip quivered for a moment, her hands clenching around Anna's. Her jaw tightened, but before she could do anything—step forward or back, fight or flight—Anna had enveloped her in a tight hug and all Elsa want to do was cry. She wasn't thinking of their touching chests, smushed together by the force of Anna's hug. She wasn't thinking of the way the other girl seemed to use her entire body for the hug—even her head joining the fight as it nestled next to Elsa's.

"I don't- I don't want you to hate me," Elsa whispered against Anna's jumper, bringing her hands up to rest softly on the red-head's back. Anna had begun to rub circles into her back, the pressure soothing her.

"I could never hate you, Elsa," Anna replied. "I love you."

And that was probably what hurt Elsa the most. She let out a small snort, nose still buried in the crook of Anna's neck. The closeness had leant her confidence but lulled her with security—false, she knew, but she only truly realised afterwards. "Yeah, like a sister."

Anna's hand stilled its movements, and it took Elsa a few moments to realise why. Because, she had spoken aloud. And not only had Anna heard her, but she had heard the meaning behind it; the disdain drowning the final word.

Horrified, Elsa wrenched herself away, body shaking as wide eyes aligned with Anna's. The red-head's mouth was hanging open and she seemed at a loss. Elsa had no idea what was going through her mind but it didn't matter.

She didn't say anything as she backed off even further, seeing the truth written in the red-head's teal orbs.

She didn't stop running even as she heard Anna calling after her; it was only when she was safely entombed in her blankets, front door bolted and curtains shut tight, that she let herself cry.


I wanted to write fluffy smut and, obviously, it didn't work. However, the next chapter will definitely be happier. And yes, I realise how common these types of stories are but whatever. This was also done, in part, to push me over the NaNoWriMo 50k mark (which it did). No idea when I'll write the next bit because I'm currently working on the next chapter of 'Tiny Hearts', plus part 2 of 'Språket'. Just... this will be finished, and will hopefully include smut at one point. We'll see.

Also, I've only seen snow once in my entire life and that was a very long time ago. And only for about 4 hours. I'm sorry if I got snow wrong o.o