It seemed like the entire cafeteria turned to pay attention as Emma, Sophia, Madison and their clique approached.
"Oh Taylor, " Emma said condescendingly, "You look like you're g..."
"EEEP!"
Madison squeaked as her purse spilled its contents causing her phone, makeup and a running vibrator to rattle on the floor amid a large number of condoms, both packaged and some apparently used.
Taylor silently wondered, "Did I go overboard with the Alfredo sauce?"
Many students had already pulled phones out to get video of the scene. Sophia moved to punch Taylor, always a good 'Plan B' in her mind, when to her left a banner unrolled from an overhead light grabbed her attention.
It read: "Thanx fer teh butt-seks frum yo bitchez. Sophia, Yer pimp hand iz STRAWNGG! Lurve, -The Track Team."
Sophia looked angrily to the right towards the Track Team's table where a red dowel on fishing line swung behind the athletes, a few shocked, most openly laughing until they saw Sophia's rage directed at them. Sophia's view of them was obscured as another banner rolled down.
It read: "P.S. Sophia: Eat Shit, Fuck off, and Die in a fire, Thundercunt. Kisses, - The Track Team."
Sophia's snarl of rage was all the incentive the athletes needed to take to their heels.
"Bull, meet red flag... Red flag, meet bull." Taylor thought.
In the teachers' lounge Mr. Gladly observed the Track Team as they burst from the cafeteria out into the rain with Sophia in hot pursuit and thought "Ah, such good-spirited hijinks," before returning to his lunch. "Mmmm, pastrami."
Madison clutched her now-bottomless purse to her chest and screamed "That's not mine!" at the vibrator rattling among the condoms and the rest of her belongings dumped on the floor in front of her. Madison attempted to kick it away, but only succeeded in scattering the contents of her purse while the vibrator bounced back from a table leg and buzzed at her feet.
Julia whispered, "Emma..."
Emma looked at the clique of girls nervously edging away from Madison as if the petite girls embarrassment was contagious. Laughter from everyone in the Cafeteria assaulted her ears.
Julia tried a little louder, "Emma."
Students took video of Madison frantically gathering the precipitated belongings of her ruined purse. Some wit nudged the buzzing vibrator back in front of Madison who shrieked, "I said that isn't mine!"
"Yeah, hers has Hello Kitty stickers on it," came a voice from the crowd, followed by laughter and a frustrated scream from Madison.
"Emma! Are you OK?!" Julia shouted as she pointed to Emma's leg. "You're bleeding!"
Emma's eyes widened as she bent over and saw the rivulet of red rolling down the inside of her calf to stain her white sock.
"About time she noticed," Taylor thought, "I've had mosquitoes barfing blood and red food coloring under her skirt for ten minutes."
Emma slipped away as she gazed at her fingers gone red from where she brushed her thigh and abandoned Madison to be the center of attention for the assembled students. Emma beat a retreat through the double doors opposite the ones Sophia had chased the Track Team through and made her way through the deserted corridors to the nearest bathroom to clean up. The door swung shut behind Emma and teams of cockroaches maneuvered pennies into the gap around the door, including several coins which had been placed on train tracks and flattened into wedges.
Sophia body checked the first guy on the track team she caught into a wall while his compatriots fled. "Tell me which of you motherfuckers planned this, Tommy Shoemaker, so I can hand out your beatings properly!"
"I don't know, I didn't do it..."
Rain soaked into her tracksuit as Sophia twisted her fists in the boy's collar and slammed the him into the wall again. "If you didn't do this, then who did?"
"I... I don't..."
"Then round up the rest of those dipshits and find out!" screamed Sophia in the boys face before letting him run after his scapegoat teammates before she angrily strutted back to the cafeteria, her mood as foul as the weather.
Madison piled her belongings into the remains of her purse, the sundered seams showing small cut lengths of thread all along the bottom panel which had ripped way. The petite girl barely kept her emotions under control as she crawled next to a table in order to pull herself to her feet. A kind gentleman extended his hand toward her. "Some help at last" she thought.
Instead of reaching for her hand, her supposed white knight picked up an unopened condom, turned to his friends and said, "Hey... Magnums! I guess the little slut likes 'em big!"
Laughter erupted, and continued as the line got repeated to others. Madison was mortified. Someone dropped the still buzzing vibrator on top of her belongings, rattling against her phone.
"I said that's... Not... MINE!" screamed Madison as she flung the device as far across the cafeteria as she could.
Madison held her belongings close to her chest and attempted to leave with at least some dignity intact.
Her hopes were dashed when some guy raised the vibrator aloft like Excalibur and asked, "If it's not yours, why does it say 'To my Boo-Boo Buttsuck, Love Emma' on the dial?" triggering even more laughter.
Madison broke and ran, tears streaming down her face all the way out of the cafeteria.
Taylor surveyed the riotous cafeteria. No one noticed the bugs responsible for tipping the banners off the light fixtures retreat across the ceiling and into the ventilation system.
Teens were already comparing videos to see who had the best, most embarrassing footage to upload. She would have to watch some of the videos later, since she was sure someone would email a link back to the anonymous account Taylor had used to let everyone know about the "Awsum prank 2-morro at lunch in the cafeteria" she had sent out yesterday. She had even got the blanket invite to that anti-prom thing next Friday which her regular school account hadn't.
Through her bugs Taylor observed Emma still cleaning up in the restroom while the roaches finished their job which left the entire doorjamb wedged full of pennies behind her oblivious former friend.
Taylors bugs also noted how Madison ran down the hall until her phone rang.
Madison slowed to a walk and answered "Hello?"
"Um, is.. is this Madison?"
"Yes, Who is this?"
Madison turned the corner to her locker. Three guys were standing in front of it snickering and the voice came in stereo from her phone and in front of her: "Do you really suck for a buck?"
"WHAT?!" Madison screamed.
The three boys turned to look at Madison, the caller still held one of the many perforated strings of condoms threaded through the vent slits on Madison's locker door.
Madison tore them from the boys grasp. Her phone number, prices and a unique slogan were written on each one. One read: "Threesome Thursdays - Half price."
Her phone rang again. She answered automatically, "Hello?"
"Hi, Boo-Boo Buttsuck? We're inquiring about your discount for groups of ten or more..."
Madison's scream of anguish, punctuated by beeps form her call waiting, echoed through the halls.
"Phase One complete: Madison's reputation destroyed. Now for Phase Two," Taylor thought.
Cradling her Art project in her arms in front of her, Taylor strolled towards her next class.
Sophia burst through the double doors on the opposite side of the cafeteria with rainwater dripping off her, stormed over to the track team's table and ripped down one banner, which was actually a painted bedsheet. Scanning the crowd Sophia saw that wimp Taylor point and laugh at her then turn and walk of another set of doors.
"No goddamn way fucking Hebert just laughed at ME..." Sophia thought, "I'm gonna kill her."
Sophia shoved her way through the crowded cafeteria, kicking open the doors to see Hebert with her back to her at the end of the hall, talking to someone around the corner.
Not even looking her way, Taylor flipped off Sophia.
Wet shoes squeaked on the tile floor as Sophia charged towards the skinny girl and landed a punch right in her smug face.
Taylor tumbled from the impact into the connecting hallway, her art project disintegrated as it smashed into the far wall.
"SOPHIA HESS!"
Sophia turned at her shouted name. Standing around the corner were Mrs. Knott and Ms. Tilde, the Art teacher who had just exited the teacher's lounge and had apparently been talking with that wuss Hebert.
"She still has the 'Lurve' banner in her hand," thought Taylor as she got to her knees, "thanks for breaking the evidence chain, dummy."
"Principal's Office. NOW!" Said Mrs. Knott sternly, then turned to her colleague "Take that poor girl to the Nurse's Office and join me in the office. I'll get the paperwork started."
Sophia felt a sinking sensation in her gut as she patted her pockets . It was missing. Both of them. Her phones were missing.
"Oh crap."