Author's Note: The following excerpt is from chapter 6 of my fic "Professor of American Folklore." You don't have to know anything more about the fic than the excerpt, but I would love for you to read the whole thing. The Plot Bunnies kept nibbling at my ankles ever since I threw a SG-1 tease. So I wrote this to make them go away and give me some peace and quiet. Bunnies are evil.

Episode Note: In the SG-1 episode "The Serpent's Venom" Daniel Jackson hauls arm fulls of books into a spaceship headed to a minefield because there was no ancient Phoenician online.

.SPN

"Hey, Professor Delmonico. Its Sam Winchester. Do you happen to have access to Dr. Daniel Jackson's ancient Phoenician online? We're working a case in a museum, and something just ate their linguist. I'm trying to translate this tablet the linguist was working on before he died, but I'm not having much luck. There's nothing on the internet useful for translating ancient dead languages and all the books I have are a twenty hour drive back to Kansas. This guy, Dr. Jackson, works as a civilian consultant for the United States Air Force in Cheyenne Mountain Complex. Whatever it is he does for them, they put some seriously kick-ass firewalls around his programs. I'm not making a dent."

.SG

"Thanks for coming, everyone," Lt. Colonel Samantha Carter greeted the men and woman seated around the conference table at the SGC.

"So what planet is about to explode?" Vala Mal Doran demanded brightly. "Ooh! Do we get to loot the place... I mean, do we need to protect irreplaceable pieces of culture for posterity before it is lost forever?" She flashed a grin of fake sincerity around the table.

"Nah, my money's on we're about to be invaded," Colonel Cameron Mitchell drawled. "Carter was upping computer security protocols again."

General Hank Landry shook his head. Voice dry, he said, "You know, Colonel, SG-1 does have other duties besides saving the planet."

"Yes, sir," Mitchell straightened in his seat.

"Of course we do, General," Vala agreed instantly. "Sometimes, we save the while solar system or the entire galaxy or the time line as we know it. So, really, saving just one little random planet is kind of a come down from our usual duties."

Everyone, except the General, tried and failed to not look amused. Landry managed to avoid cracking a smile in the face of Vala's happy expression. "Colonel."

"Yes, sir," Carter acknowledged, taking back control of her meeting. "Yesterday at 20:30 hours, someone attempted to breech the firewall here at the SGC. They were unsuccessful. However. Due to the unusual nature of our hacker and the file he attempted to access, the incident was flagged for review and brought to my attention."

Col. Mitchell sat forward in his chair, suddenly a lot more interested. He would readily admit that computer-speak tended to loose his attention, but this caught him. "What were they trying to access? Classified files? Personnel records?"

Sam allowed herself a small, amused smile. "The Jackson Compilation."

Everyone blinked in surprise. Except Teal'c. He arched an eyebrow.

Dr. Daniel Jackson's face scrunched in confusion. "Why would someone risk federal prison and the wrath of the SGC for access to a database of dead ancient languages? Especially considering there's nothing there that can't be found at a good university library. That Compilation doesn't even include G'oauld or Ancient, or any alien language. I keep those separate."

"Compilation. Isn't that when those five marines tried to out-prank each other and General O'Neill got caught in the middle?" Cam asked the table. "Yeah, that was it. He sentenced them all to the Compilation project."

"Sentenced?!" Daniel blurted.

But Mitchell didn't let him interrupt. "They had to scan into the computer what? Thousands of pages from dozens of musty old books."

"So he could have reference materials on mission that were light and portable instead of hauling stacks and stacks of reference texts across the galaxy. Yes," Carter agreed. "That's why the incident got flagged. Nothing happened, cyber security worked fine, our would-be hacker got nothing. But considering access to the database is open to universities and professionals world-wide..."

"We're still left with 'why' aren't we? What's the payout here? There's always a payout," Vala looked up from the files on the firewalls. "Otherwise, what's the point?"

"Maybe they were trying to piggyback the Compilation into the rest of the SGC mainframe?" Mitchell suggested.

"We don't know," Carter reiterated, frustration showing in her voice. "They didn't get anywhere at all, so we don't know where they thought they were going or what their endgame might have been."

"So what DO we know, Colonel Carter?" Landry demanded, wanting to get to the point. He had a lot of other meetings that day and a lot of paperwork to get through before his day was over.

"The attempted breech triggered automatic trace and analyze protocols. Results were..." Carter sighed in annoyance. "...unusual. The internet camouflage defenses were top notch. Nothing short of professional grade hardware and programming would've stopped our protocols."

No one argued that this was merely her pride talking. Every man and woman who knew Sam knew how good she was at her job.

"I sense a 'but' coming," Cameron drawled.

"But," Sam obliged. "This person's technique was... almost amateur. It's like..." She had to pause to find the right analogy. "Its like someone has a Nascar racer and is driving it like he's out getting groceries."

Vala turned to face Daniel and Teal'c. "Cultural reference translation, please."

"This person is using the ceremonial blade of the prim'ta as an eating utensil," Teal's offered.

"They know how to use the equipment, but not to its full capabilities?" Daniel clarified.

"Right," Sam agreed. "Which could mean nothing. An amateur hacker got on a professional hacker's system and tried to break into his or her school's best protected program. OR. It could mean me have something on earth that hasn't quite gotten the hang of local technology."

"With the Compilation as a test case," Mitchell caught on. "To see if he or she was good enough to crack the system."

"Exactly. And if that's the case..." Sam lead the group down her logic path.

"You need to find this person or persons before the successfully find their way into our systems," General Landry finished. "What do we know about out mystery guest?"

"We were able to trace the signal to a wifi connection in a hotel in Connecticut. The 'On the Outs? C'mon Inn.'" A little flicker of pain crossed Sam's face as she had to say the motel's name. "We don't know which room. But. We have enough to identify the computer if it gets back on the same connection."

"I'll have transportation waiting for you at the airfield. Dismissed."