Edward's POV
"Edward. Leave me alone… you're too intense right now!"
"I'm sorry Bella!" I screamed loudly as I watched her walk away. As I tried to follow her, her walk gradually turned into a jog, and then eventually a full out sprint, moving through the streets of Port Angeles. As we twisted and turned down the darkened alleyways I lost her, not knowing which entrance she had last darted through, my body never slowing as my heart rate picked up… searching for her.
"Edward!" We were back in the centre of town, her name was echoing all around me, terrified, screeching, calling for help. As I spun around I could hear the carnival music playing, see the rides spinning, as the fairground workers reached for me, shoving stuffed animals in my face, calling me to play their games.
"Bella! Where are you?" I called out above the noise, continuing to spin in a circle. All of a sudden the people… they were all her… but they weren't. They were mocking me.
"EDWARD!"
I shot up out of bed, my head and neck drenched in sweat as I searched the room around me, glancing towards the clock.
The glaring red numbers stared brightly back at me 3:07 am.
Knowing I wouldn't get back to sleep I threw back the covers and untangled my body from the top sheet… why did I even keep a top sheet? This happened every time I had the dream. Throwing on a grey t-shirt and the closest pair of sweats I could find in the dark, I padded my way first to the bathroom and then down the stairs and into the kitchen. I wasn't surprised to see the light above the stove glowing and the kettle steaming, nearly to a boil. I should have known that she would be waiting for me.
"The dream?" My mom didn't stop to analyze my face, instead she continued with pulling out mugs and the jar of tea. This was our ritual every year, and I had to admit that even 12 years after the day it happened, I was grateful for my mom's genuine care and concern… not just for me, but for the girl I had loved as a child.
"Yeah… it's always the same… even after all of this time." I sighed as I sat down on a bar stool, running my hands through the mess of copper coloured hair that sat on top of my head. I didn't have to tell her the details of the dream… we had discussed it too many times to count.
"What ten year old uses the word intense?" I muttered as she brought the two mugs over and sat down beside me. She didn't answer me… we had been through this exact conversation repeatedly, and as much as I had lost a friend that day… she had lost a daughter of sorts.
"She would be twenty-two today." I looked up from the mug that was now resting between my hands, the warmth not at all soothing like I had hoped. "And I know… I know that her file is cold, and the chances of ever finding her… let alone finding her alive… are… next to impossible…" I sighed, pausing and closing my eyes tightly, trying to keep my composure.
"I still feel… like she's alive… like she's out there somewhere…" I shook my head again, the ache in my chest intensifying as my mother leaned down against my shoulder, wrapping her arm around my back in a tight embrace.
"I know Edward. I feel it too." This was how it went every year. My mom and I were on the same page despite the facts that we both knew about missing girls. I knew we weren't the only ones who felt this way, but after Bella's disappearance, I had drawn closer to my mother and my father than to anyone else; my struggle with guilt heavy throughout the next decade as I moved forward in life, with Bella always remaining constant in my thoughts.
As my mother and I sat and reminisced into the early morning hours, I felt a weight fall down against my chest as dawn approached. It was an unusually bright and sunny day, and it contrasted greatly to my mood. But I knew I would need to get moving soon, put on my uniform and head into work. Charlie would be waiting at the station.