ESPOV
"I'm sorry, Esme. I was wrong about you." Carlisle says before turning and walking away from me.
Charles appears from the door that Carlisle just exited. "I told you, Esme, no one wants you, and no one ever will."
He picks me up by my hair and drags me outside. Carlisle is getting into his Mercedes and I cry out for him. "Carlisle! Please, I'm sorry!"
He looks at me and an expression of disgust comes across his face before he climbs into his car and drives away.
"Well" Charles sneers "now that we're finally alone, you can give me what you've been keeping from me for weeks."
When Charles reaches for my pants, I scream again. "Carlisle, please!"
My ear piercing scream wakes me and I jolt up in bed. My sobs are coming fast when my door opens and Rosalie and Bella run in. Rose immediately pulls me into her arms and I rest my head on her shoulder as gut-wrenching sobs quake through my body.
"Esme, it's okay. It was just a dream. You're safe." Bella says taking a seat beside me and rubbing her cold hand on my back.
"Carlisle" I sob. "I need Carlisle."
"He went hunting with Jasper. Alice went to find them. He'll be here soon." Rosalie's soft voice does nothing to calm me.
"He left me." I whimper.
"No he didn't. Jasper wanted to talk to him privately. He was going to be home before morning."
"He said he loved me, but he left. I love him so much. How could he leave me?" My breaths are coming too fast and Bella forces my head between my knees.
"Just try to breathe. He'll be here soon, I promise. He loves you so much, Esme, don't ever doubt that."
I don't bother trying to respond through my tears and my fight for breath.
"Esme!" I hear from downstairs and in less than a second Carlisle is at my door. I don't wait for him to come to me, I run to him and attach myself to his body. My arms are around his neck and my legs are around his waist as I bury my nose in his skin and breathe in his scent.
"Sweetheart what happened?" he asks walking to the bed and taking a seat. The girls are no longer there, but I don't want to raise my head to find them.
"You left." I sob into his neck.
"Oh baby I'm sorry. I was going to be back before you awoke. Jasper wanted to speak to me privately. I'm so sorry. I'll never leave you again." He planting kisses on any bare skin he can reach. With him here, my breathing has slowed down and I'm able to think clearly.
"I'm sorry. I had a dream and it felt so real."
"That happens during pregnancy. Do you want to talk about it?"
I can barely talk as my sobs start again.
"You *sob* left me *sob* with Charles. Said you *sob* didn't love me. *sob* Said you were wrong *sob* about me. *sob* Charles raped me. *sob* You left."
"Oh sweetheart. That will never happen. I love you more than anything. I'll never leave you. This is forever."
"You were so cold to me. You didn't care that he was hurting me. I cried for you and you walked away."
"I will never let that monster near you, love, please believe me."
"I do" I breath "It was just hard when I woke from that and you weren't here."
"I'm sorry. I won't leave you alone again."
I nod even though I know that's impossible; he has to hunt and work, but for right now, I'll believe him.
"Do you want to lay back down?"
I shake my head at him.
"Not in here. This room feels cold and empty now."
"Come on. Let's go to my room. You need to sleep for at least a few more hours."
I nod and he scoops me up in his arms and carries me across the hall. He pulls the covers back before sliding us in together. I need to feel his skin against me so I pull on his shirt, and he quickly whips it over his head before putting his arms around me again. He refuses to let go of me, and I'm not complaining. The bedding smells like him and I left the blanket to my face. With my head on his bare chest, his arms holding me, and his scent all around me, I start to doze off.
"Carlisle? Promise you'll be here in the morning?"
"I promise, love. Sleep now, I'll protect you from your nightmares."
I have no idea what time it is when I wake up, but I don't care. I'm still in Carlisle's room, in his arms, and his face is on my belly as he sings to the baby.
"Hey" I croak and he looks up at me with concerned eyes.
"Hi" he comes back to lay beside me and turns us so we're on our sides facing each other. He pushes the hair softly off of my face before speaking again. "How are you feeling?"
"Honestly, a little silly. I'm an adult who had a panic attack because of a dream."
"Angel, you have nothing to feel silly about. After your stressful day, you were bound to have nightmares and then you dreamed that I left and you woke alone. Pregnant women's dreams can be more vivid than any other. You didn't do anything wrong. I'm the one to blame for this."
"No Carlisle." I put my hands on the sides of his face. "This isn't your fault. You didn't know I'd wake up scared. You were helping one of your kids, there's nothing more important than that."
"You're more important than anything."
"Well thank you, but we both know that there are other important things in your life. One of the things I love about you is how much you love your kids and they need you too."
"I love you too" he whispers and kisses me softly.
"Did you hear anything I said after that?" I mumble against his lips.
"Not really." He smiles, but I just raise one eyebrow at him. "Yes I heard you and I love my kids but you will always be my top priority. That's the way it should be, each of my boys will tell you the same thing. Now, kiss your man before he dies from withdrawal." His words are demanding but his eyes are playful and wary. I know if I said no, he wouldn't be upset, but I don't want to say no.
Leaning up I capture his smile with my mouth and he immediately kisses me back. I sigh when he runs his tongue along the seam of my lips. He gently puts his tongue into my mouth and I stiffen but quickly melt into him. This is nothing like Charles. Carlisle's cold, soft tongue is gentle as he caresses the inside of my mouth and I eventually curl my tongue around his. He moans softly and I whimper in reply. My hands are resting on his bare shoulders, and his hands fall to my waist to caress the skin where my shirt has ridden up. His fingers are like live wires creating electric currents all over my body. He slowly moves his hands farther up my body under my shirt giving me plenty of time to protest, but I don't. His hands feel so good on my bare skin. I never imagined it could feel like this. His hands stay on my back and he seems content with keeping them there, but I need him to touch me, really touch me. I need him to show me that touch can feel good. I need to feel how my body is supposed to respond to a man's touch. I regretfully pull away from his mouth. With his eyes closed, his lips try to follow mine and I giggle. He opens his eyes and smiles at me, but his eyes are burning with desire. Reaching back, I pull on his wrist gently until his hand moves to the front of my body.
"Are you sure?" he whispers, his hand resting just below my breast and his eyes widen.
"I"m sure. Show me how touch is supposed to feel."
That's all it takes for him to groan and latch onto my mouth again. His lips are soft and sweet one minute and demanding and rough the next; it's all delicious. He trails his fingertips up over the side of the swell of my breast and I let go of his wrist so he can explore. His touch is gentle and apprehensive and it occurs to me that he's never done this before. He told me a few days ago that he's been waiting for his mate. I'm his first everything.
His hand stretches out the tight tank top I'm wearing as he explores underneath it, and I sit up so I can take it off. My hands go to the hem and start to pull it up when he stops me.
"Wait. Esme you don't have to do that." My hands halt and I take in his worried face contrasting with his hungry eyes.
"You don't want me to?"
"Angel, of course I want to see all of you. I want to memorize every inch of your gorgeous body with my hands, lips, and tongue. I want to spend hours exploring you. Nothing would make me happier than to start that exploring right now, but it would break my heart if we started even a second before you were completely comfortable and ready. This is your show sweetheart, you decide everything and I want our love to be the most pure and special thing in our lives."
His words melt my heart and set my body on fire at the same time. I lean down to kiss him softly before throwing my leg over him to straddle his lap.
"I want this. I want to share my body with you. I'm ready. I'm not ready for everything right away, but I am ready for this."
He nods and brings his hands to the bottom of my shirt. "May I?"
"Please."
His eyes never leave mine as he slowly pulls the material over my skin and eventually over my head. The cool air hits my breasts making my nipples pebble. Carlisle drops my shirt on the bed and holds my gaze for a second longer before slowly moving down the rest of my body. I know when he's taken in all of me because he sighs; not a bored or sad sigh, but an awed one.
"You're too beautiful for words, Esme. You put goddesses to shame."
His words and the hungry look in his eyes are the biggest ego boost imaginable. I always thought my body was okay. My C-cup breasts are out of proportion with my slim waist and thin legs, but Carlisle's gaze makes me feel like a super model.
His hands are shaking as he brings them to my bare skin. He traces his fingertips all over my torso except the one place I want them most. When he finally reaches my breasts, he runs a finger across the soft skin between them.
"Carlisle please." I whimper and he slowly moves his hand to my breast.
When he cups his hand around me, we moan together. He kneads the flesh and brings his other hand up to do the same on my other side. I moan loudly when he finally runs his fingers across my nipples. It's like an electric shock to my body. He puts his finger and thumb around my nipple and gently roll it between them and I throw my head back with a groan. He growls as my nipple hardens and elongates due to his touch.
He leans forward to place a soft, gentle kiss to my belly, but when he moves up to kiss my breasts I gently stop him and pull his face up to mine. Memories of Charles squeezing and bruising my sensitive flesh comes into my mind and I stiffen. Carlisle immediately understands, and with a soft kiss to my lips, he lays us back down; me laying on my side with my head on his chest and him on his back with his arms around me. I move to lay on his shoulder so I can look up into his beautiful face.
"Thank you" I trace his lips with my finger as I speak.
"I should be thanking you. You trusted me with your body and it was amazing."
"I wanted to keep going, but I had a flashback."
"I know, love, I could feel the change in your demeanor. We didn't need to go further, though, it was perfect. One day you won't ever think of him again. Do you want to talk about it?"
I sigh before speaking.
"Charles was never gentle with me. I could get past the bruises he would leave on my breasts because he squeezed and grabbed them so hard, but he would also bite. He would bite my nipples so hard they would bleed and he liked it. I guess when your mouth came near me, I got nervous, I'm sorry."
"You have nothing to be sorry about. I don't understand how he could hurt you in such an intimate way. Your body is meant to be loved and cherished, to be given so much pleasure you fear you'll explode. You should never have to feel pain. I'm going to do everything I can to make sure you are treated how you should be."
I don't know what to say in reply so I just look into his eyes and kiss him sweetly on the lips.
Our moment is spoiled by a booming knock on our door.
"Are you love birds ever going to get out of bed? I made Esme's breakfast, the Emmett special."
Carlisle groans and buries his face in my neck.
"In order for me to make sure you never feel pain again, I may have to keep you from Emmett's cooking."
"Hey!" Emmett yells and Esme giggles.
"I think I can handle it."
"Yeah" I grumble "you say that now."