ESPOV
"Alice! I can't wear that." I'm already shaking my head before I finish speaking.
"Come on, Esme! You and Carlisle are going to be all alone in paradise. You never know what you might wear."
"Fine," I grumble "but put some normal swimsuits in there too."
She smiles with her victory and carefully places the halter top bikini in my suitcase.
It's been 3 weeks since Charles showed up at the house, and things have been pretty quiet. Carlisle is still not back to normal. He's better since that night, but I miss the old Carlisle.
We decided that we're going to cash in our Christmas present from Bella and Edward. We really need to get away and I definitely could use some sun. I'm excited to have a week of fun and alone time with Carlisle, but I'm really excited to see what Carlisle looks like in the sun. I was worried at first that it would painful for him, but he assured me that it doesn't hurt a bit, it just looks odd.
Once we told the family that we were taking a vacation, Alice insisted that she pack my suitcase. I don't really mind because, other than swimsuits, I'll probably wear Carlisle's clothes. He likes seeing me in them and they fit comfortably over my ever-growing bump.
When I see Alice put what looks like lingerie in my suitcase, I stop her.
"Whoa, what is that?"
"It's to sleep in."
"Alice, I'm pretty sure those aren't intended for sleep, they're meant to be taken off way before then."
"I know." She says wiggling her eyebrows.
"Wait, did you see something?" I ask in a whisper even though everyone else is out hunting.
"No." she says. "You haven't decided anything yet, so I can't see whether it will happen, but I know you two have gotten more…intimate. Plus you'll be all alone on an island for a week. You never know what could happen."
She continues packing as I let my mind wander. Am I ready to go all the way with Carlisle? I love him more than anything, and there's nothing really stopping us from taking that next step. Although, I don't know what Carlisle would say about that. We haven't been intimate since the night Charles died. He holds me every night while I sleep and kisses me when I reach for one, but we haven't done anything else. I know he's experiencing some guilt from what happened, but I hope this trip can get us back to the way we were. I make a mental note to talk to Carlisle about that when he gets back.
"That's a good idea." Alice says, coming out of a vision and going back to my suitcase.
"How will it turn out?" I ask nervous.
"It will be fine. You both love each other so much, this is just a bump in the road." I nod and go into the bathroom to grab my toiletries.
"They'll be home in about 30 minutes. That gives me just enough time to finish packing." I just shake my head and let her do her thing while I go downstairs.
Samson isn't going with us, mainly because we are driving and I don't want him to have to be cramped in the car for that long. He's getting so big, I don't think it would be fair to him. I check to make sure he has enough food and that his toys are all piled up for him. There will be 6 adults here to take care of him, but I'm still nervous about leaving him alone.
I'm packing some snacks and drinks for the road when everyone comes through the back door. Jasper goes right upstairs to find Alice. Bella and Edward go to sit down in the living room and switch on the TV.
"Hey baby mama." Emmett says coming over to kiss my cheek ignoring Carlisle's growl of warning. He and Rosalie sit down on the stools across from us and Emmett throws Carlisle a wink.
"Are you ready to go, angel?" Carlisle asks me, purposely ignoring Emmett.
"Um I think so. Alice is packing my suitcase—"
"I'm all done." Alice announces coming into the kitchen with Jasper right behind her. "I packed plenty of extras just in case." She winks at me and I blush. Carlisle raises an eyebrow at me in question but I just shake my head.
"Okay let's hit the road." I say a little too cheerfully and pick up the cooler. I don't make it one step before Carlisle slips it out of my hand. Always the gentleman.
He grabs my two (yes I said two) suitcases out of the living room where Alice left them and goes outside to pack the car. This human has to put on her coat and hat before going out into the frozen tundra.
Everyone gathers around the car to say goodbye.
"Have a great time." Rosalie whispers to me as she hugs me softly.
"Try to get the old man to relax." That's Edward.
"I'll make sure Sammy gets lots of bacon." Bella says and winks at me.
"Have fun." Jasper says kissing the back of my hand.
"Take care of the little squirt" Emmett says gesturing to my belly and giving me a bear hug.
Alice is last and she wraps me in a hug.
"Just relax, it will be perfect." She breathes in my ear.
Carlisle takes my hand and pulls me into his side.
"We'll only be gone a week, guys." He says with a smile, and helps me into his Mercedes. He quickly moves over to take his own seat behind the wheel.
"You ready?" He asks with a toothy grin.
"Yep. Let's go."
We pull away from the house and Carlisle turns on the GPS. It says it will take 48 hours to get to the beach house, but with vampire speed it should take less. We originally talked about flying down to Florida, but I've never been on a cross-country road trip before.
I smile as I take in the interior of the car and remember the night I met him.
"If you could drop me at the nearest motel that would be great." I repeat my words from that night. He looks really confused before a smile covers his face.
"I'm sorry Miss…"
"Esme…Just Esme."
"Well just Esme, I'm sorry but I don't think I can do that."
"And why not?" I ask with a little bite to my voice.
"Because I'm never letting you go." He looks at me with serious eyes. "I knew it that night and I know it now—we'll be together forever."
"Carlisle I was wondering…can we just go back to normal this week? You've been different lately and I understand that what happened affected you, but I don't want it to change us. I want us to be the way we were, not just emotionally but physically too. I feel like I have to force you to kiss me and I don't want it to be that way. A month ago you couldn't keep your hands and mouth off of me and I liked that. I liked knowing you wanted me so badly that you couldn't stop yourself. I just…I want the man I fell in love with. Believe me I know you've been having a hard time and I'm not blaming you at all. I just wondered if things could be different this week."
I didn't even realize he had pulled the car over until he puts it in park. He undoes my seatbelt and pulls me into his lap so he can nuzzle into my neck.
"I'm so sorry love. I've hurt you and I didn't even realize it. I haven't been keeping my distance from you on purpose, I just…I don't really know. I've been in my head a little bit and I didn't realize I was neglecting you. I'm so sorry. I always want you. I ache for you every minute of everyday. I've just been trying to get my head on straight. I promise it won't happen again."
He leaves small kisses on my neck as he speaks and I close my eyes at the feeling.
"It's really okay, Carlisle." I run my fingers through his hair. "I know you've been struggling and that's why I wanted to talk to you about it."
"It's not okay that I've been neglecting your needs, angel, but I promise that stops now. I'm here for you every minute of every day. All you have to do is ask."
"I don't need a servant, Carlisle, I just need you." I pull up his face so I can look into his eyes.
"You have me." He whispers and kisses me sweetly. My hand in his hair won't let him pull away. He moans when I tug slightly on his hair and his tongue comes out to taste me. Our mouths tangle together for several minutes before I pull away and rest my forehead to his.
"I've missed that" he whispers against my lips.
"Me too."
We sit holding each other for a few more minutes before he sets me back in my seat and buckles my seatbelt.
We lost some time on our journey, but it was well worth it.
"Best concert you've ever been to?" I ask Carlisle.
We've been driving for a few hours and peanut has demanded we stop to eat. We're at some little diner in Post Falls, Idaho.
"I got to hear Mozart perform and that was amazing. I also got to hear Beethoven's compositions when they were first written."
"Okay smarty pants, how about the best concert of this century."
He smirks and I roll my eyes.
"I went with Edward to see Dizzy Gillespie in the 1950s and he was excellent. He's a jazz musician. More recently I went to see the Civil Wars with Jasper and Alice, and I was impressed by their talent even though I'm not a big fan of bluegrass music."
"Interesting. What about the worst concert you've been to?"
"That's easy. Pink Floyd. While I respect their musical talent, it just was not for me. The crowd was crazy and there was all kinds of drugs and things being sold. We left before it was half over. That many warm bodies combined with the extreme noise and the scent of adrenaline was too much for all of us."
"Yeah that doesn't sound pleasant. I bet the humans were having fun though."
He laughs and nods.
Once I finish my burger and double order of fries, we hit the road again.
"It's going to be dark soon, love. Your pillow and blanket are in the back when you want to go to sleep."
"Okay, I'm not tired yet." I tell him through a yawn and he laughs.
"What about you? What's the best and worst concerts you've ever been to?" He asks me.
"I've never been to an actual concert. I've watched school plays and things like that, but that doesn't really count."
"Well we'll have to go sometime. You pick."
"Okay." I tell him smiling.
"What's your favorite and least favorite animals?" he asks.
"My favorite animal is a walrus, followed closely by a manatee. They're just so cute with their little whiskers. I think in another life I may have been a walrus. It sounds perfect to me—laying around and swimming all day waiting to be fed. My least favorite animal is a snake. They freak me out. I don't really like any reptiles. When I was a kid, I wouldn't even enter the snake section of the zoo."
"I thought you were going to say birds are your least favorite."
"They're second. They are pretty to look at until they fly at your head. Reptiles are just…icky."
"Icky, huh?" he laughs. "I"ll have to remember that."
"What about you? What's your favorite?"
"Well I don't really get close to animals unless I'm hunting, but I've always thought lions have a majestic quality about them."
"What about your least favorite?" I ask him interested to find out his answer.
"I really don't like anteaters. They are so creepy with their long noses and tongues. Eww." He shivers on the last word and I burst out laughing.
"Who knew an invincible vampire would be scared of an anteater?" I laugh.
"They're creepy! Have you ever seen one? They look like an alien."
"Do the kids know about this particular fear?"
"Of course not! Emmett would put one in my room just to witness the first vampire heart attack."
I laugh again because I know he's right.
"Don't worry, sweetheart, your secret's safe with me."
"Good" he says with a goofy grin and I know my smile matches his.
"It's my turn to ask a question." I tell him after a minute.
"Okay." He nods.
"What would your super power be if you could have one?"
"Ooo that's a tough one. I wouldn't need to fly because I can already go very fast. I wouldn't want to have the same gift as anyone else in the family. I guess it would be neat to be invisible. Then I could sneak up on people or play pranks on them."
I laugh because I've never seen this side of him.
"What about you?" he asks.
"I think I would want to teleport. You know, just think of any place in the world and go there. I would want to take people with me, though."
"That's an interesting idea. Where would you go?"
"Well obviously I would take you with me and I'd want to see everything—the Statue of Liberty, Mount Rushmore, the Eiffel Tower, the Pyramids, Big Ben, the Great Wall of China…"
"We can see all of those things." He says. "Just say the word, and we'll go."
"Have you been to all of those places?"
"Some. I haven't been to the Great Wall of China or the Pyramids. The others I have seen before. I would love to go with you, though. It would be entirely different experiencing them with you."
He always says the sweetest things to me sometimes and I never know what to say in return.
"Would you kiss me on top of the Eiffel Tower?"
"I would kiss you anywhere." He looks at me with dark eyes and I know he means anywhere in the world and anywhere on my body.
I clear my throat loudly.
"Your turn to ask a question."
"I don't have one." He says. "You go again."
"Okay…um whats your favorite part of the female body?"
My face turns bright red. I can't believe I just asked him that.
"Well I don't know about the female body in general, but my favorite part of your body is the soft skin just under your hipbones. It's softer than any other part of your body."
"Really?" I'm stunned that he knows that after just one time seeing me naked.
"Yep. I love gliding my fingers over that spot. I'd love to run my tongue along it, and see if it's as sweet as the skin on your neck."
"Why don't you?" I blush again. Why is it so much easier talking about this when he's focused on the road and not on me?
"Because, love, I don't want to make you uncomfortable."
His thoughtfulness makes me smile.
"I um I don't think I would have a problem with that." I whisper and a soft growl is all I get in reply.
"It's…it's your turn."
"What's your favorite part of my body?" he asks and I notice he didn't say 'of the male body'. He can't stand for me to think about anyone else, even thought I never do"
"Well I haven't seen all of your body, so I don't know if I can give you a definite answer, but I love the dimples on your lower back. I especially love the growly-whimper you let out when I scratch my nails across them."
"Yes, I didn't know I would be so um sensitive there."
"I like it." I tell him through a yawn.
"You should sleep, love." He tells me.
"I don't want to sleep yet. You owe me a question, I did two in a row."
"Okay, love. One more but then you and peanut need some rest." Dr. Cullen has come out and there's no saying no to him.
"What was your favorite bedtime story as a child?"
"Um I don't know if I really had one. My parents didn't read to me a lot, but I liked pretty much anything that I could get someone to read to me. I've always loved books."
"Another thing we have in common." He says with a smile.
"That was cheesy." I tell him as I lean my head back and my eyes close.
"That doesn't make it untrue."