ESPOV
Dark images and blood are present in my dreams, and I'm thankful when I finally wake, my naked body covered in sweat. The room is dark and I can see the moon in the sky. The ache in my chest tells me that Carlisle is gone before I even check his side of the bed. On his pillow I find a beautiful yellow, orange, and pink flower, along with a note.
Angel,
I hate leaving you, especially when you are cuddled against me wearing absolutely nothing. You are sleeping so sweetly, I don't want to wake you. I've gone to the mainland to hunt. I should be back this afternoon. Be safe. I love you.
Carlisle
The pain in my chest is becoming uncomfortable, and I have to last all day. I slip out of bed quickly, shivering as the air hits my sweaty skin, and find the shirt Carlisle wore yesterday. It smells just like him and it immediately eases my pain. Slipping it on over my head, I grab my blanket and wander downstairs. After throwing my blanket on the couch, I go into the kitchen to get a midnight snack. It takes me forever to find something that peanut is craving, and we finally settle on vanilla ice cream with chunky peanut butter stirred inside. It looks gross but peanut loves it. I fill a large bowl, and take it into the living room, curling up in my blanket. Flipping through the cable on the ridiculously huge TV, I finally I land on a some old black and white show, and let it relax me. Once I've finished my ice cream, I cuddle up in my blanket and let the sounds of Lucille Ball lull me back to sleep.
The seagulls wake me again and I'm beginning to enjoy their morning songs. It's after 10 and I feel a million times better now that I've gotten some sleep. Carlisle still isn't home and that's means I'm on my own for breakfast. I steer clear of the eggs in the refrigerator and instead grab some milk to make cereal. I don't know why there is such a selection of food in a vampire's house, but I have a suspicion that it's Carlisle's doing.
Peanut misses her daddy as she rolls around in my stomach, and I definitely know the feeling.
"Don't worry baby. Daddy will be here soon." I tell her as I rub my belly. That seems to appease her for now as she stops her movements. I know she can't actually understand what I'm saying, but she loves when anyone talks to her—especially Carlisle. I can't wait until he can feel her excitement like I can.
I take my time washing my dishes once I'm done eating, there's nothing better to do. Suddenly every speck of dirt in this room catches my attention and before I know it, I'm scrubbing the whole kitchen until it sparkles. I guess that's a good way to waste my time until Carlisle returns.
As I go upstairs to change out of my now grimy shirt, the sun shining through the glass walls calls to me. Standing naked in front of my dresser, I try to choose the swimsuit for today. The black one-piece is cute, but I don't want to wear black in the sun. The polka dot, retro one-piece is also cute, but not really my style. The only one left that I haven't worn is the skimpy bikini Alice insisted on packing. It's going to show a whole lot of skin, but the image of Carlisle's face when he comes home to find me in it convinces me. It's navy blue with small, white polka dots, and the color looks great against my newly tanned skin. It pushes my breasts up and together, and makes them look bigger than they actually are. The bottoms cover my front but the bottoms of my cheeks are sticking out. I have to admit, I look good. Carlisle has seen and kissed every inch of my body so I'm not really self-conscious anymore. I grab a towel from the linen closet and head out onto the sand. I told Carlisle I wouldn't swim without him, so I can't get in the water, but I can enjoy the sun on my skin. Taking my towel, I walk up onto the docks. I want to be the first thing Carlisle sees when he gets home. The side where the boat had previously been is empty, but on the other side is something I didn't see when we got here—a humongous hammock is built into one side of the dock. The bottom sits just above the water and it looks so comfortable.
After several tries to walk onto the hammock, I have concluded that it's impossible. Finally I just lay on the edge and roll down into the middle, like a child rolling down a hill. I smile in triumph when I reach the middle, and close my eyes so I can relax. The coolness of the water against my back contrasts with the heat of the sun. The ocean isn't actually touching me, but I'm so close, I can actually feel the cold coming off of the water. The sun is high in the sky and I know that Carlisle will be home soon.
I must have fallen asleep because the sound of an engine jolts me awake. I'm so tired lately, I can't seem to get enough rest. The sound of the boat is close, and I get insanely giddy that Carlisle is back.
"Esme?" He calls out once the loud engine stops and the peaceful silence of the island returns.
"Over here." I yell out keeping my eyes closed.
"What are you doing out here? I'm sorry, I'm late. I had to go farther inland to find any big animals. The coast doesn't have…" His voice cuts out and I'm assuming he's seen me.
"Esme" he says in a deep voice "what are you wearing?"
"A swim suit. I wanted to get some sun, but I remembered that you don't want me to swim alone. I was exploring a bit and found the perfect place to lay."
"You look beautiful." The hammock shifts and moves as he climbs on with me. "Your skin is glowing."
He runs his finger along my belly and I jump at the cold temperature. Baby peanut starts dancing at his touch and I laugh.
"She seriously is a daddy's girl." I tell him and laugh as she rolls around particularly hard. He beams at me and kisses my belly.
"I love you too, baby." He whispers to her.
"So how was your hunt?"
"It was pretty good, I just had to travel farther to find some large mammals. I ended up with a few deer and even a bobcat. I found a panther too, but they are endangered. We don't feed on rare animals."
"That's nice of you." I tell him and kiss his cheek.
"Well if we feed until a species is extinct, we'll never get to feed on that species again."
"Oh so it's purely selfish." I roll my eyes and he laughs.
"Some of it is, yes, but we don't want to be monsters. Killing a species until it's extinct isn't exactly ethical."
"You're not a monster." I whisper against his chest. His arms tighten around me and he kisses the top of my head.
"How long have you been out here, angel?" he asks after a minute.
"Um…I don't really know. I think I fell asleep."
"Did you put sunscreen on?" he asks worried.
"No. I didn't think I needed it. I'm pretty tan. We've been here almost a week."
"You still should put some on. I don't want you to be in pain if you get burned."
"Okay." I say simply knowing not to argue, he wants to take care of me. Before I know it, I'm in his arms speeding towards the house. The sunscreen is up in our bathroom, and he sets me down on the cold tile. As always, Carlisle takes his time applying the cream all over my exposed skin. His fingers find their way into my skimpy swimsuit a few times and I shiver in lust. As he's working, I finally get a peek at what he's wearing. Only Carlisle could make an outfit of ratty, holey jeans and a t-shirt look sexy.
"You're all done." Carlisle says with a pout. I suck his bottom lip into my mouth like he does to mine whenever I pout.
"Come on" I whisper against his lips. "Get dressed."
"Do you disapprove of my clothing, love?" he smirks at me.
"No, but I think something else might be more appropriate for the beach."
"Alright. Point taken."
He kisses me quickly and goes to change. I'm hoping to get a peek at his gorgeous body, but by the time I get in the bedroom, he's already dressed in black board shorts. He gets to watch me change, but every time I turn around he's changed clothes.
"Stupid vampire speed." I mumble under my breath.
"What was that, angel?" he asks with a smirk.
"Nothing." I grumble and walk downstairs. He's right behind me of course, chuckling as he goes.
"Do you want to go swimming?" He asks me once we step out onto the sand.
"We only have a few days and we haven't really explored the island. Can we do that?" I ask and bite my lip. Behind the house is a whole jungle-like forest that encompasses most of the small island. I'm dying to know what kinds of adventures can be found in there.
"Of course, but you'll probably want to put shoes on." We both look at our bare feet and I run inside (as fast as I can with my baby belly). Once I have my tennis shoes on, Carlisle takes my hand and we walk around through the jungle. The trees are thick and it smells like plants and all things green. There is moss growing on every inch of…everything and it's beautiful.
We've been walking for awhile when I start to hear the sound of running water.
"What is that?" I ask the all-knowing, all-hearing vampire.
"It sounds like a waterfall." He says.
When he pulls back the thick leaves in front of us, we are indeed looking on a huge waterfall. It's emptying into a small pool surrounded by large rocks and the thick foliage of the jungle.
"Wow" I whisper and Carlisle helps me walk across the rocks. I sit down and slip my shoes on so I can put my toes in the water.
"Can I show you something?" Carlisle asks, a childlike grin on his beautiful face.
"Sure." Before I've finished the word, he's gone. Only a few seconds later, he appears on top of the waterfall. It's at least a couple hundred feet and he waves with a big smile before jumping off. I scream and he does a backflip in the air before landing in the water in a perfect dive. When his head surfaces, I jump in surprise because he's right in front of me. He laughs when he sees my surprised face.
"How did you do that?" I ask breathless. "That was amazing."
"Perks of being a vampire." He kisses me and his skin is cold from the water.
I squeal as he pulls me in with him and the icy water covers my skin. The water is so deep I can't touch the bottom and I kick my feet to keep my head afloat.
Carlisle is grinning boyishly at me and I smile in return. Right now I see the 23 year old man instead of the 400 year old vampire.
"I love you." I whisper and trace his lips with my cold finger.
"I love you too." He smiles and nips at my finger with his lips.
We swim around and Carlisle never lets go of my waist making sure to keep me above water when my legs get tired.
"Does the gracefulness come with vampirism? Or is it just the speed and invincibility." I ask after a few minutes.
"Everything is heightened when you're a vampire— touch, taste, smell, hearing, beauty, voice, sight, and movement. So the answer is: yes, being graceful is a part of being a vampire."
"Wow. Is there a downside?" I laugh.
"There are a few." He says, his face suddenly serious. "You never age, which seems like a positive until you realize that every single human you know and will ever know will die while you live on. You can't go out in the sunlight unless you're alone. You have to move around every few decades so that the humans don't get suspicious because you don't age. The worst part of being a vampire is the blood lust; it takes years, sometimes decades, to control it. Wanting to kill everyone around you feels a lot worse than it sounds."
"I never realized." I whisper. "Do you regret it?"
"Well I'm not sure that I can regret something that wasn't my choice. This was forced upon me. However, I could have reasoned with the Volturi to kill me, which I never did. I spent a long time hating who and what I am, but once I came to terms with it, I came to enjoy being a vampire. I love being able to save people because I've been a doctor for centuries. I like being able to help others learn to not feed on humans so they aren't the monsters they were created to be. I love being able to see time and legends as they start. Most of all, I love my family; I wouldn't trade them for the world. I think it's a decision that everyone should make for themselves, but this life can be good for some. I've been able to do so much in my life. What would I have done if I wasn't turned? I would have lived my life killing vampires, gotten married to a woman I didn't love, and probably become a pastor like my father. I never wanted that life, and I'm very happy that I was able to do more."
"Me too." I tell him burying my face in his neck. "I would never wish any pain on you, but I'll be forever grateful that you were changed and we get to live our happily ever after."
"I would relive every day if it meant that I get to live my life with you."
I blush and look down like I do every time he says something incredibly sweet.
"I feel the same way." I say softly. "I would relive everyday under Charles' anger if it meant we would end up here."
"Esme" he whispers astonished and I can't tell if it's good or bad until he swoops down to take my lips. I guess it was good.
I tangle my fingers in his wet hair and kiss him back with everything I have.
"So" I whisper and nip at his lips "when I become a vampire every time you touch me will be more intense."
"Yes" he whispers huskily and runs a single finger down my bare arm making me shiver.
"I don't know if I can handle that." I laugh breathlessly.
"You don't have to, angel." He suddenly becomes serious. "You can stay human and live a normal human life. I would be by your side until your last breath. I will love you every minute of forever. Just because I'm this way doesn't mean you have to be."
"I want this, Carlisle." I whisper against his lips, looking into his eyes so he knows how serious I am. "One lifetime with you wouldn't be enough. I want to experience everything and be able to love you every minute of eternity."
"You don't have to decide this now. Think about it and we can talk about it again. It's a big decision. You may change your mind once peanut gets here. I will love you no matter what you decide."
"Okay…but I'm not gonna change my mind."
His eyes are serious as he studies my face before he growls and kisses me firmly. My legs wrap around his waist and our kisses turn slow and lazy as we enjoy being with each other. Our love is eternal and there's no way I will give it up simply for my humanity.