Midnight Talk

Champagne, wine, beer - cheap beer as a last resort - that was the result of one night of drinking between two grown up men that should have been more aware that they would be hungover like hell in the morning. They would regret it later, when they had to learn that the person they were assigned to watch over would be gone - kidnapped, along with their friend. But that realisation would come much later, some hours away from this moment now.

They had talked about four hours. Well, to be more precise, Barnaby had talked while Kotetsu had listened most of the time, only sometimes adding a question or a 'hum'-sound to his partner's monologue about his past. It was quite a hard subject to talk about as Kotetsu witnessed how Barnaby would often stop in his sentences trying to bite back his hatred as well as some tears that Kotetsu saw glistening in his eyes whenever he mentioned his parents and how much he had loved them. No, he still loved them, death doesn't kill that kind of emotion, Kotetsu could be sure about that whenever his eyes darted over to his wedding ring that reminded him of his own loss.

What was worse? Loosing a loved one you knew for years and years so it seemed like you were together for your whole life, so your soul seemed to split in half when it happend, or loosing your beloved parents as a little kid? Both was hard, Kotetsu was sure about that. But a little kid would probably be less prepared to manage on his own than a grown up man.

Though he was not sure if 'managing death' was what he had done exactly, seeing as he had practically run away from everything - his daughter, his family in general. He couldn't take it anymore at this point. How was he supposed to console anybody else when solace was the last feeling he had left at that time? His soul had felt raw, tormented, empty at best, anything but well enough to convey comfort to others, even if it meant that his little girl had to cry alone. He had barely mustered enough strength to absentmindedly stroke her tiny back sometimes, less for soothing her but more to tie himself to the reality that existed without his beloved wife. It was real, he was sure about that, however unreal it all felt. He knew he had to overcome his pain, he knew he had to stay positive, if not for himself then for his daugther, that was his job as a parent. He had to stay, he couldn't just run away from all this.

But he had done it, nevertheless.

The pain had been too much, had carved his soul to an unbearable extent, had pierced and frozen his heart. He was not strong enough then. He had run, had given up, giving in to the pain, to the hurt. It was easier than facing the ineviteable.

It had taken a long time before he was even able to face his kid and family again. Nobody was angry, or at least they said that they weren't angry, that they understood. But Kotetsu had the feeling that the cleft between his remaining family, especially between his daughter and himself, was getting broader by the day since then. But at least he had someone left from his family.

It was a different story for Barnaby, who was all alone. But Barnaby had acted differently. Standing infront of the ruins that had once been his home, holding on to the memories of his beloved parents, he had been able to move forward. Be it that it was out of hatred for his parents' murderer, that he had taken the steps that lead him since that time, but he still had moved. He had tried to make a serious effort in finding hints about the suspect he only remembered from a tattoo on his hand amidst a nightmare of flames. Nobody would help him it seemed, and even if they would have wanted to, they wouldn't have been able to do so, since the much needed information seemed perfectly hidden. Barnaby had been able to dig up something nevertheless. A hint in a newspaper, a trial against a criminal, bits and pieces of a puzzle that still didn't form a whole, but all was better than nothing. Better than doing nothing, than giving up under the pain, than running away from it.

Kotetsu had to give Barnaby credit for being brave in that aspect. Even the attention whore attitude he always showed - smiling at every camera, stating that he wanted to gather points no matter what - all just to openly challenge the murderer to dare come and get him, too.

Kotetsu smiled to the can of beer that he swirled lazily in his hand now. Barnaby was just a honest kid, nothing more. He clearly showed what he wanted. Nothing like him, who didn't even know what to expect from life anymore. Everything just went for the worse after his wife had deceased; his family was broken, his job didn't satisfy him anymore. He could love his kid how much he wanted, she would always slap him in the face literally. He could save hundreds of lifes and still be only measured by the amount of fines he had to pay. Deep inside of him he often thought he deserved this kind of behavior of his surroundings, because he had done something wrong when everybody expected him to do the right thing. And everytime he came too late to save anybody and was left to stare down to a corpse - again - that unspoken pain arose anew.

He should stop drinking and give in to the fatigue already. Drinking and thinking at the same time only made everything feel worse.

But there wasn't the comfort of a blanket over his eyes to shut out the world, there was only the hard floor below him. Well, Barnaby sure didn't seem to mind since he was asleep for almost half an hour already. How could a smartass rich kid like him simply lie on the floor and snore away like that?

Well he seemed to start getting uncomfortable, troubled even, now that Kotetsu gave him a closer look. Something was not right. Barnaby's brows were furrowed, he even seemed to sweat slightly and he began to turn around.

A bad dream?

Maybe a nightmare of that time they had talked about for hours tonight?

Kotetsu skidded closer, he was pretty sure how to soothe an unsettled kid. He was able to spend some comfort again after all this time. So he reached out and began stroking Barnaby's hair, at first just slightly, surprised about the softness of the other's off-standing locks, then more reassured. Reaching up, stroking down, reaching up, stroking down, repetition. Sometimes he would catch a strand of hair and he simply let it run between his fingers. And Barnaby seemed to calm down after some minutes. Kotetsu thought to recognize a faint smile on the younger man's lips, too, and when he did, he caught himself smiling back at him. But before his brain could marvel about the reason for his happiness, sleep finally came over him.

The floor wasn't so hard that it mattered anymore.