A/N: This is a multi-chapter story and takes place right after the end of the episode 2x10, so pretend all of the following episodes never happened. All of the chapters are inspired by a song; this chapter's is Heal by Tom Odell. These first two chapters will be all about their feelings so there's not a lot of action and they are not big chapters, so I hoped I will be updating soon. It is unbeta so all errors are mine (I'm sorry if there are grammatical mistakes. If you find some I'd like to know, please. Rated T for language.

Disclaimer: I own nothing. It all belongs to NBC and Jon Bokenkamp. I'm making no profit from this.

Chapter 1: Take My Pain

Take my mind and take my pain

Like an empty bottle takes the rain

One more glass of scotch.

It won't hurt anyone, right? Only that amber liquid could help him heal the wound he has on his heart.

Well, he hoped it could, but he knows it will only work on the moment. Next day, when he wakes up, it will all remain the same. Liz will still hate him, will still think he doesn't care about her.

That is not true.

He wanted to her to tell her that she was wrong, that the only thing that matters it's her. She's the only thing keeping him alive, the ray of light in the darkness.

A knock on the door woke him from his thoughts. Whoever it was, it was better to turn around and come back later. He wasn't in mood for guests. The knock on the door remained, persistent, and he heard that soft voice.

"Come on, Reddington! I know you're there." He heard her heavy sight. Lizzie? What are you doing here? "Open the goddamn door!"

Is she still angry? Of course she is, after all she has been through… But why is she here then? Red opened the door and saw Liz. She was angry, indeed.

Red smiled. He had to, right?

"Lizzie. For what do I have the plea-"

"Shut your mouth for once in your life and listen to me!"

Take my past and take my sins

Like an empty sail takes the wind

She entered in his living room like a sharp. Just like how he entered on her life: without warning and without permission.

Liz was practically seeing red with anger, but she noticed the almost empty scotch bottle and an almost full glass beside it.

Drinking for what? Take the pain away? If he was capable of feeling such thing…

"I don't want you to have to pretend you care about me-"

"Lizzie, I-"

"Shut the hell up!" Liz yelled at him. Couldn't the fucking bastard keep his mouth shut for awhile? "You don't have to pretend anymore." Liz stopped talking and tried to look at him, but she couldn't. He was monster. "I'm here because of the Fulcrum." Liz said standing in the middle of the room. She took from her pocket the tiny thing that had the power to destroy her entire life, as it had already done. "Here you have it." She gave it to him.

"What's this?" Red simply asked, with a raised eyebrow, examination the little device he was holding between his thumb and index finger. Liz laughed ironically at his question.

"The Fulcrum I guess." She answered. Cold as ice. Red looked at her then. His eyes deep and hurt from her coldness.

"Where did you find it?"

"In my stuffed bunny." Her voice cracking in each word she says. "The only memory I kept from before the fire" Liz couldn't fight the back the sob anymore and some tears threaded to fall. "And now that's ruined too." She choked her head and looked at the ceiling with one tear running down her cheek. Red wanted to hug her, hold her in his arms like how he has done before. He wanted to comfort her from the pain she was feeling, but all that pain was caused by him, and he hated to know that.

"I may not know what this is." He spoke and stepped closer carefully. Then he continued. "But I know exactly what this is not." His voice deeper, he tried to put some hiding meaning on those words, in hope Liz would understand. He stepped closer again, now more confident. "And this is not the Fulcrum."

One more step closer.

And Liz stepped back, putting even more distance between them than before.

"I don't want to know what the hell that is." She paused and took one more step back. "I just hope it leads you to the Fulcrum." She paused again. Liz closed her eyes to stop the tears and reopened them. She spoke, her voice like a whisper, but strong and determinate at the same time. "And out of my life."

With that Liz turned her back and walked to the exit.

Red tried to stop her, but he was frozen.

"Lizzie…"

He tried but nothing.

She reached the door and opened it.

"Elizabeth, wait!"

It was too late.

The door had already closed with a loud bang. He walked to the coffee table where his glass rested, and grabbed it. He drank the rest of the liquid it contained and instead of placing the glass on the table again, he broke it on the floor.

And heal

And tell me some things lasts