Something that's been in my head for awhile. Figured it couldn't hurt to share it.
DISCLAIMER: EVERYTHING BELONGS TO SHERRILYN KENYON. 'CAUSE SHE'S AWESOME, THAT'S WHY!
The Journal of Caleb Malphas.
Chapter 1: Why am I doing this again?
Dear Journal:
Can't believe I'm doing something as lame as journal writing, but I've lately come across the need to rant. Rave. Explain my disturbing circumstances to another source. The biggest of which being my embryo charge- Nick Gautier. Fledging Malachai. Here is a list of issues that frustrate me the most, before I start throttling people.
1. He thinks that just because I'm his bodyguard he can call me at all manners of the night.
¨Nick, this better be important.¨
¨Dude, I just had this rad dream-¨ Caleb looked at his bedside alarm clock.
¨Nick...it's two in the morning.¨
¨Yeah , I know that, but-¨
Click.
"Damn it! Well, I guess Kody won't mind…"
2. And that I should protect him from his boss.
¨CALEB! SAVE ME! Kyrian's sword just went straight through the fender on the Lambo! He's gonna kill me!¨
"You'll live.¨
¨It's the Lambo, Cay! The Lamborghini! By exactly what margin of the imagination do you expect me to- oh shit-¨
¨Nick! What the hell are you doing boy? Have you got my...why is my sword...NICHOLAS!¨
¨SAAAAVE M-¨ Caleb cut him off.
¨See you, tomorrow, Nick. You're on your own.¨ A stream of curses could be heard from the phone as Caleb tossed it aside in favor of playing video games.
¨I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS, CALEB!¨
3. His version of 'Revenge' turns into 'Flirtations'. At school. In front of a large group of people. Most of whom have no idea that he's faking every word.
Nick sniffed pathetically and batted his eyelashes.
¨Caywub...how could you?! You just threw me to the wolves without a second thought! I thought we were made for each other!¨ Caleb groaned in disgust while Kody sniggered at them and continued pulling books out of her locker.
¨Will you knock it off? Before I'm forced to maim you.¨ Nick gasped, before latching onto Caleb's arm.
¨Caleb, my love! How could you betray me like that?!¨ Eyes turned in the corridor.
¨GET OFF! I swear, your shame knows no bounds...¨ Nick blinked innocently.
¨Shame? What shame?¨
4. Kody Approves.
Caleb pushed Nick's face away from him for the third time at lunch. He glared at Kody, sitting on Nick's opposite side, giggling uncontrollably.
¨Shouldn't you be concerned that your boyfriend is openly flirting with a guy?¨ She scoffed.
¨We both know Nick's straight and has no intentions of ever dating you. And I get my kicks watching you two interact. It's funnier than Mark blowing up his jeep.¨ She kissed the side of Nick's head.
¨Just make sure you don't push Calyboo too far and he tries to kill you, sweet heart.¨ Nick gave her a beaming smile.
¨I won't!¨
¨You damn traitor….¨
5. Which suddenly makes it okay for everyone else to assume I'm his boyfriend.
"Hey Caleb, do you know where Nick is?"
"Why the hell should I know?" Maduag smirked.
"Well, since you're 'his love' and you two 'were made for each other' I would therefore assume-" Caleb glared and did his best to put as much I'MA-KILL-YOU-DEAD-BOY-IF-YOU-SO-MUCH AS-FINISH-THAT-SENTENCE vibe into Maduag's shortening existence.
He backed off.
"O-okay. Bad joke. But seriously, do you know where he is?"
"...Gym."
6. And then there's Zavid.
Caleb's eye twitched at the empty cupboard.
"Zavid...where are my poptarts?"
"Basking in food heaven."
"My popcorn?"
"Same."
"Fruit Roll Ups?"
"They begged."
"Twinkies?"
"You know they couldn't stay there forever."
"Gold Fish?"
"I may have gone fishing."
"Cheetos?"
"I have a newfound respect for cheesy leopards."
"...My Coke?"
"..."*
*And this, folks, is where Caleb drew the line.
7. And for the record, just because I disdain his existence, doesn't mean you attack my charge.
Bitch.
"Hey, Caleb?"
"What, Kody? I'm busy skinning a wolf."
"Aamon, asshole!"
"Nick's being attacked-."
"Again?! Why the hell hasn't he summoned me?"
"He thinks you're mad at him."
Stupid little-
He flashed to Nick's location and promptly started tearing into the fringe guards present.
Stupid. Slash. As. Stab. Hell. *Back fist* Cajun. Slash. Mentality. *Slices head off* GO ROT IN LATAYA, YOU EFFIN' EXCUSE FOR A LIFEFORM!
Nick raised a brow at Caleb's unusually vicious attack. Of course, he was always vicious, but today he actually showed it. He laughed off a wave of trepidation as Caleb finished off the monsters and slowly turned to face him.
Nick? Scared? Pffft.
Maybe a little worried.
Caleb brought his hands up and made choking motion towards Nick's neck.
"You call me at all manners of the day...everyday...but when it comes to my actual job...that is when you choose to shut up?! You damn three-year-old!"
"Hey! I do not act like a toddler!"
"Yes, you do!
"Oh, come on, at least admit I graduated kindergarten!"
Simi sat on the bench and munched BBQ flavored chips. She offered the bag to Kody.
"Wants some? They be good eating. It fun to watch Akri-Caleb and Akri-Nick argue."
"I'm good, Simi. Just a little annoyed Caleb took all my targets. Geez, what's a girl to do if she can't maim preternaturals after her boyfriend?"
"Tragic. Truly tragic. Hey, boys! The Simi wants some Ice-Cream to go with her chips, because the chips taste good but theys taste better with hot sauce and frozen sugar!" They momentarily paused.
Nick looked at Caleb.
"Ice Cream?"
"Ice Cream."