Embrace
When I entered the room he was there, sitting on the chair in the corner with his legs crossed. Looking like a king that was meant to rule. I shut the door behind me. We were planning to leave tomorrow; Nikolai and I were leaving for West Ravka while Mal and his team went off in search of the firebird. I moved further into the room, walking over towards the bed. It had been a long day, from lessons with Baghra and planning the route for our departure, everything had taken its toll. My body ached, my mind throbbed, and I was not in the mood to deal with him.
"Leave," I said as I removed my fur coat and hat, but yet he still remained silent and still. I looked over to him; he was watching me, studying me like I was an equation that he couldn't quite find the answer to. I thought he was going to remain silent, but then he finally spoke, "I have a question."
I waited.
"What was it about that tracker that you liked so much?" He remained where he was. Still looking like a dark prince.
"He's a better man than you," I answered. Why was he asking me this? Did he want to see my insecurities? My even more confused feelings?
"There are no such things as good men, Alina," he said as he rose from the chair, moving closer towards me. His footsteps echoed on the wood flooring. His face appeared to me as unscarred and perfect; as it always did in these weird visions. He stopped before me, his eyes still studying me. I wonder what he saw. Did he see me as I was, my hair to white, my skin to pale; my body badly weaken from our "skirmish" in the chapel? Or did he see me as before, as the orphan girl, the girl who always thought she was a mouse, the girl who desperately wanted his attention?
"Is that why you're here, to question me about my choices?" I asked.
He ignored the question.
"After you ran from me, was there ever moment when you thought about coming back?"
"Yes," I admitted
"But you didn't."
I knew I should have stayed silent, but I was too tired, and it felt too easy to talk to him, to even be here alone with him.
"It wasn't just what you were planning to do. You lied to me. You deceived me. You …. Seduced me. You made me question everything about myself," I said truthfully.
"I needed your loyalty. I needed you to trust me," he said. was I only ever a sport to him, something to be played with until he became bored? "I hear your Lantsov prince is still alive."
"Is that so?" I said.
His eyes bore into mine. His lips forming into a tight smile. "Do you like him?"
"What concern is that to you?" I asked, moving closer towards him. I wasn't going to shy away from him. I wasn't going to be that scared orphan girl any longer, which constantly sought his praise.
"What about your loyal tracker? Will he just stand easily by as that Lantsov pup of a prince has his way with you?
He was trying to provoke me. He was trying to get a reaction out of me that he knew he would take pleasure in. So I moved closer, so our bodies were only a few inches apart. I saw his shoulders tense as if he wasn't expecting this. I bet he was expecting some shy, little girl who he could intimidate. I reach up and cupped his cheek with my hand. A look of confusion came upon his face. His body stilled, but his shoulders relaxed. His eyes closed as if he was embracing it. I leaned in closer, my lips just hovering below the shell of his ear and I whispered, "But what am I going to do with you?"
His eyes flashed open. The look of rage and something else I couldn't quite place appeared in his gray eyes. I removed my hand from his cheek, but he caught it and pushed our bodies together once more. My heart was racing in my chest unsure of what was going to happen. His face moved closer towards mine, only a breath of air separated us from being entwined together. There was a part of me that wanted to embrace him, to lose myself in the darkness that he offered, but I had to remind myself to be strong. That he's only toying with me and my heart. His chest raised and fell with the steady beating of his heart but other than that he was completely calm. He was in control. His other hand moved to entwine within my hair while his lips hovered over mine. His voice was nothing but a whisper when he spoke, "You can do whatever you want, Alina. You and your friends can try to defeat me and lose or you can embrace who you are, who you are meant to be and join me." I felt his lips lightly brush mine and the small sample of the connection between us was opened but before it went any deeper before I fell completely of the edge of self –control. He pulled back. His grip around my wrist loosened and moved to tilt my chin upwards to look at him. His lips were slightly flushed from our kiss but other than that he still looked the same. He still looked like that dark and intoxicating prince, that knew how to make me feel weak. His voice brought me back down to reality and away from the dark clouds of temptation. "You can rule with me, Alina," he said, "All you have to do is give up this foolish idea of defeating me. Give up the idea of living a normal life. Let that tracker and prince go and embrace who you are. Embrace the idea of forever… embrace me." His voice made me feel weak. I felt his lips brush mine once more and then in a flash he was gone, with nothing but the surrounding darkness left in his wake to remind me that he was here.