This story picks up during Chapter 17 of Ruin & Rising where everyone is fighting in the Fold and Alina is deciding what decision to make.

I jumped off the side of the skiff, landing on my wounded arm, pain shooting through my body. I bit back a scream, trying not to draw the nichevo'ya back to me. Pulling myself off the ground, I frantically scanned the area around me, looking for Mal. Sun soldiers and Grisha fought around the illuminated skiffs but Mal was nowhere in sight.

Reluctantly, I ran from the fight, into the darkness, concealing myself in the blackness. It was too risky to use my light. I had to think. I needed to do something before everyone I knew was torn to pieces at the Darkling's hand. I knew the answer but I couldn't allow myself to consider what had to be done. I ran farther from the battle. Distant screams became muffled as the darkness engulfed me.

I will strip away all that you know, all that you love, until you have no shelter but me. The Darkling's words echoed through me, causing my pace to falter.

"No," I whispered to myself, as if saying the words aloud would give me the strength I needed.

Before I had time to think, the putrid smell of volcra caused my stomach to lurch. I held my breath and stood motionless as the sound of flapping wings surrounded me. But it was too late. Jagged teeth bit into my wounded arm and I let out a scream. Another bit my shoulder where the nichevo'ya scar once ached. Claws dug into my back, causing me to fall forward into the sand.

I called the light, seeking comfort from its warmth, its purity. But I pulled it back within me before I could release it. I realized that a part of me wanted this. If I let the volcra take me, I wouldn't have to be anymore. I wouldn't have to lead armies of zealots, I wouldn't have to pretend to be a saint, and I wouldn't have to run from the darkness. I wouldn't lose Mal.

"Alina!" someone screamed. Mal. Gentle calloused hands pulled me from the ground and embraced me. I was too far removed from my body to register the pain it caused. I leaned forward, resting my body against his. I dug my face into his chest, trying to melt into him, to leave this place behind. But the screeching of the volcra pierced my ears. The lumiya that Mal had wasn't enough to keep them at bay.

He shook me, talking frantically about the light.

"It's okay, Mal. We'll be okay," I whispered. I wanted to believe what I was saying.

He tightly gripped my bare wrist, causing an electric current to surge through me. The light called from deep within me, clawing its way from inside. But I pushed it back once more. I pushed it back the way I did when we were children, when Mal and I needed each other more than anything else in the world.

"Alina, please," He pleaded into my matted hair.

I ignored his plea and pulled my wrist from his grip. I wrapped my arms around his bloodied torso and held him tightly. "We'll be okay, Mal. I promise," I whispered again. I could feel his warm tears falling onto my head.

"Alina, I—" Mal was yanked from my grip, his body pulled into the thick blackness above. His screams pierced the air as a volcra flew above the circling flock, into the darkness above with Mal in tow. Without giving it a second thought, light shot from within me and created a blinding pillar of white where Mal disappeared. It illuminated the fleeing volcra that carried him. The volcra tried to flee from the light but it expanded, spreading across the Fold, pushing the darkness away.

The volcra struggled against the light, flying higher into the air. It dove for the darkness of the Fold, releasing Mal as it flew. Time seemed to slow as I watched him fall from the sky. He looked as if he was descending from the clouds beyond the Fold, like a divine gift from the Saints. He fell to the ground and I rushed forward, clambering through the sand. The light faded around me, illuminating only Mal and myself.

I stared in abject horror as Mal laid in a mangled heap on the ground. His legs were twisted in a way that I had never seen before. Bones jutted from his leg. Blood pooled from the back of his head, spreading slowly across the sand. His blue eyes that were once alive with the force of the sea, stared beyond me—vacant. Lifeless. I fell to the ground, clutching Mal's bloodied face.

"Mal," I choked. "Mal, no… no… don't leave me!"

The light sank back within me, cloaking us in darkness. The screeching of the volcra drew nearer then faded away. It was replaced by the distant wail of screams. The screams faded into sobs. Then nothing.

Silence replaced all pain, all fear. Maybe I could find Mal in a distant light, far beyond here, where we would have nothing but each other. We could be together in a place where the darkness could never touch us again.

Take me.

Author's Note: I recently finished Ruin & Rising and I was incredibly unhappy with the way things turned out. This is my attempt to console myself and anyone else who wanted a different ending. This story will follow Alina through the many trials she has to face as the Sun Summoner in war-torn Ravka. Expect lots of Alarkling/Darklina and a mostly platonic love between Alina and Nikolai.

This is my first time writing fan fiction so I would really appreciate any sort of encouragement. Reviews would be lovely as well. Thank you and happy reading!