Luna is confusing.
Of course, anybody would say that. It's practically common knowledge among the students of Hogwarts that Luna doesn't make sense.
But she's even more confusing to me. It's confusing how I think her blonde hair shines like gold in the afternoon sun, and it's confusing how her eyes make me think of a nighttime sea reflecting the moon. It's confusing how she can make me feel nervous? I'm her best friend.
Growing up with six other brothers is supposed to have made me tough. Not to mention that I'm a Gryffindor—I'm not supposed to get nervous just at the simple sight of a girl. A beautiful girl, to be fair, but still.
I know, I know. I know I clearly have feelings for Luna. And I'm probably nervous because of that sneaking suspicion I want our friendship to become more than what it currently is.
So I've tried to make my feelings known in the subtlest of ways. I haven't said anything outright in case it might drive Luna away, which is the last thing that I want. Then again, I'm not sure if Luna picks up subtle hints. Yes, she's a brilliant Ravenclaw, but feelings (especially for other people) isn't her wheelhouse. At least, I've never heard her talk about her feelings for anyone.
Underneath the shady tree I sit under on the grounds, I shake my head to myself. It's not a particularly warm day at Hogwarts—it actually looks like it might start to rain soon. I only wanted a breath of fresh air so I could clear my head for once and get some schoolwork finished.
"Hello," comes a serene voice. I snap my head up to see Luna standing before me, wearing a turquoise button-up tucked into a long orange skirt that flows around her feet. Her dirty blonde hair is cascading around her shoulders in gentle waves.
"Luna," I say in greeting, a smile instantaneously taking over my lips. "What brings you out here today?"
"I was looking for you. Is this seat taken?" She gestures toward the spot of grass beside me. I nod, motioning that she can sit.
"Any reason in particular you were looking for me?" I ask, powerless against the flirtatious tone I use. I'm almost desperate for her attention.
"Yes," she tells me. "I had a question to ask."
A question? My heart rate gathers speed.
"Well, last week at Hogsmeade I had found something I wanted to show you. Since we have a trip tomorrow, I was wondering if you'd like to come with me."
"Yes!" I respond immediately. "I mean to say that… that would be nice." I give a short laugh, and Luna smiles as she stands up again.
"Alright. I'll see you tomorrow, Ginny." She starts to walk back to the castle, her skirt and hair flowing behind her in the wind. A stupid grin stays plastered on my face and my heart is doing somersaults.
Wait.
Did Luna just ask me out on a date?
Or Is this even a date at all? It's probably just an outing as friends, but… what if? If it is a date, and I only act friendly, then she'll think I'm not interested. If it's only as friends and I act too romantic, then she might be confused.
This is a bit of a delicate situation. But I'll take delicate anyday if it means I get to hang out with Luna Lovegood.
This is fantastic.
I gather my quill and parchment and pack them all back away in my satchel, standing up and heading back to the castle, my heart pounding and head spinning. With bliss or anxiety, I can't tell.
As I step through the front door, I suck in a deep breath through my nose and decide not to worry about the date-not-date until tomorrow.
Making my way up to the common room, though, I can't help but think about how lovely Luna looked as she sat beside me.
That night, I sleep restlessly, anxious for my outing tomorrow. When I wake up, I start to fret about what to wear before deciding it doesn't really matter. I throw on a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt and head to the Great Hall for some breakfast.
Ron, Harry, and Hermione sit across from me at the table talking about something, but I mindlessly tune them out as I think about what the day might hold while I nibble on a piece of toast.
I let my eyes wander to Luna just once, but her back is turned to me. Her long hair is pulled back in a messy ponytail. I sigh.
"You alright, Gin?" Ron asks suddenly. I'm brought out of my head with a swallow.
"Er, yeah. Just excited for Hogsmeade."
Ron nods as if satisfied, and he and Harry continue talking while Hermione's gaze lingers on me suspiciously for a moment longer. Then she turns to read the Daily Prophet spread out on the table before her and I'm left with my thoughts once more.
After breakfast, Luna finds me as we make our way toward Hogsmeade. She wears a messily buttoned yellow cardigan over a blue shirt, her peculiarly styled flowing black pants held up by a pair of brown suspenders that match her boots. Her radish earrings dangle from her ears.
"So what is it you wanted to show me?" I ask playfully as we near Hogsmeade.
"It's going to be a surprise," she says simply.
Is this a date? Are we just friends? My mind repeats these thoughts as I carefully observe Luna, seeing if anything about her demeanor seems out of the ordinary.
But she's acting as she usually is, which makes me think this wasn't a date after all. My stomach sinks in disappointment, but I keep an easy smile on my face.
Once we arrive in Hogsmeade, Luna takes my hand and leads me through the crowded streets. I savor the feel of her hand in mine as we come to a stop out past the Shrieking Shack, a place I haven't gone before. I had been so dazed on the way over, I couldn't even recall the route we took to get here.
Luna pulls me through the trees to a small patch of grass. She promptly takes a seat and motions for me to sit next to her.
"Luna, how did you find this place?" I ask happily. There's a sliver of a view between the tree trunks that looks out at the landscape, though obscures the Shrieking Shack so it actually looks rather peaceful.
"Oh, I don't know. I just stumbled upon it I suppose."
"It's lovely," I compliment honestly as I sit. "So... this is what you wanted to show me then?"
She smiles dreamily. "Yes. This is it."
We start to talk, and we talk for hours. It's mostly nonsense. We talk about the latest creatures of Luna's interest, and Quidditch, and everything in between.
We almost forgot to actually leave. With a sudden laugh of surprise, I mention the time and we jump up, our hands clasped together. We run back to Hogsmeade together and go back to Hogwarts.
"I had fun today, Luna," I tell her at the entrance of the school. She gives my hand a squeeze.
"Next Hogsmeade trip?" she asks. I find myself nodding quickly. I can never refuse her, can I? I couldn't refuse even if I wanted to.
"I'll see you later," I say.
"Goodbye," she calls at my retreating back. I cast her a grin over my shoulder before turning the corner and heading to the Gryffindor common room.
A form cuts in front of me, eyebrows raised with a knowing smile. Hermione.
"Did you and Luna just go on a date?" she asks excitedly.
All of my questions and worries return simultaneously.
"I… I don't exactly… know," I stammer as I try to explain.
"You don't know?" she inquires. I nod sheepishly.
"Do you think it was a date?" I ask her. She frowns.
"Well it's not like I was there," Hermione says, obviously in thought. She repositions the strap of her school bag. The two of us begin to walk together now, both heading to the common room. Hermione speaks up again only after a minute or two of silence.
"But you like her, right?" she asks. A slight, unwelcome flush crosses my cheeks but I manage to stay composed.
"Yes," I answer firmly.
"I'm sorry to say I don't really know how to help," Hermione admits. "How can I know if it was a date if you don't even know, and it was your outing?" It sounds more like she's asking herself, hoping she'll find a way to help.
"Hey," I say. "Don't worry about it. I'll figure it out sooner or later."
I say goodbye as she joins Harry and Ron at their usual spot and I head up to my room. As I flop down on my bed in the empty room, I remind myself not to stress about it and focus on Luna's beautiful smile that I was graced with over and over again today.
Maybe we'll even do it again next week.
Turns out, we did do it again the next week. And the week after that. And the week after that. It became a weekly ritual that Luna and I would go to our secret spot and spend the time together.
We do something different there every week. Sometimes we stop at Honeydukes before coming over, or we bring our schoolwork to work on if we're behind. We bring books to read and sketchbooks to draw in and journals to write in and bask in each other's company. At least, I'm definitely basking in her company.
Winter is beginning to pass, the snow creeping away to make room for unbloomed flower buds. It's a Friday, and back in the common room, Hermione approaches me again.
"I've noticed that you and Luna go to Hogsmeade together every time now," she says as she takes a seat beside me. I shrug, frustrated that I still can't discern whether or not our little trips are dates. I've been grappling with the query non-stop, always coming away from it inconclusively.
"You still don't know," Hermione observes as she watches my face. I sigh heavily.
"I love spending time with her," I start to explain, "but it would be nice to know for sure if she'd like to date me."
"I would suggest asking, but I know it's not going to be as simple as that," Hermione provides unhelpfully. I give her a wry smile.
"I wish it were as easy as going up and asking," I agree. "But imagine if she said we weren't dating—she might be awkward with me for the rest of time. It could ruin it."
"I know Luna's not like that," Hermione says. "But still. It might be a little bit awkward," she says apologetically.
"Yeah, well, any other bright ideas?" I ask, half joking, half actually hoping she'll know how to figure this out. Instead of giving me an answer, she frowns.
"Sorry. I'll keep thinking on it."
"Thanks," I say wearily.
I go to my room, eventually falling asleep after hours of confused tossing and turning.
I wake up after a mediocre night of sleep, my first thought of Luna and our Hogsmeade trip today. Maybe I'll clear everything up...somehow. I hate feeling so powerless. Then again, I don't mind too much. I suppose it is rather complicated.
Pushing through the layers of conflicted emotions and instincts, I'm still able to feel excited about going to the secret spot with Luna.
You're absolutely hopeless, I tell myself as I head down to the Great Hall.
The morning passes quickly, and soon, I'm with Luna once again. Today she wears a high-waisted yellow jean skirt with buttons on it with a dark purple long-sleeve turtleneck messily tucked in. Her hair is piled up in a falling-apart bun, her wand keeping it together.
"Would you like to go to Honeydukes first?" Luna asks me.
"I would."
I'm internally working up the courage to ask… something. I don't know what to say or do to solve the mystery, but I feel the crushing pressure in the front of my mind that I need to finally know. The need, the insistence of the thought is heavy like a bruise on my brain.
But I don't say anything yet.
We stop and get some treats at Honeydukes before heading out to our little spot.
After a while, the pressing need for knowledge and conclusivity fade away as I enjoy my time with Luna. We talk, like always, somehow still managing to find new things to discuss.
Unfortunately, I don't manage to ask Luna about… us. We're back at the entrance of the castle after spending the day together, when Luna does something unexpected.
She pushes up her height a bit on her tip-toes, pressing her lips against my cheek.
"Goodbye," she says with her easy smile before walking away, presumably back to her dormitory. I'm frozen, dumbstruck, the feel of her lips on my face still a clinging memory. I gingerly brush my fingers over the spot, feeling elated.
Maybe these little trips are more similar to dates then I previously thought…? Or maybe they're going to start being a little bit more like dates, at least?
Feeling more hopeful than ever, I bound up to my dormitory to attempt to get some schoolwork done. And to fill Hermione in.
Another week has passed, and it's another Saturday. I've decided that I'm tired of waiting—I'm going to take a chance and pray that Luna doesn't hate me afterwards.
Today, Luna wears a pair of pink corduroy overalls over a button-up floral short-sleeved shirt, her hair loose around her shoulder, and for some reason, her feet bare.
We're already sitting in our small clearing, the trees providing welcome shade from the sun. Small clusters of yellow and pink and red flowers poke out of the ground around us, and Luna begins to pick them, twisting them together. She hums something under her breath. I tighten my ponytail, preparing to speak.
"Luna…" I say, already forgetting my plan. She looks up at me with a mild expression, tilting her head in acknowledgment. "Luna, I know this might sound strange, or forward, but… would you… would you want to date me? I mean like, be my girlfriend?"
I'm able to maintain eye contact, but I'm sweating as I await her response. She takes a second to absorb the words, before a look of confusion passes over her face. I don't know if I've ever seen her look confused before.
"Your girlfriend?" she asks. I nod. "Aren't I already your girlfriend?"
This wasn't the answer I was expecting.
"Are you?" I say after a long pause. A confused chuckle slips out from my throat. "Are we already dating?"
I'm even more caught off guard when a small blush forms in Luna's cheeks.
"I certainly thought we were," she admits. "What did you think we were doing all this time?"
"I wasn't sure. But you never… I mean, you've never kissed me or anything."
Luna shifts to sitting with her legs crossed as she leans forward to continue the conversation.
"You just didn't seem like you were the kissing type," she tells me. I laugh again.
"You're wrong," I correct her happily. "Would you like me to prove it?"
She tilts her head again, just before I lean forward to push my mouth against hers. Her eyes flutter closed as she reciprocates, and my eyes close immediately after as I savor the taste of her.
We break apart, both smiling and laughing just a little bit.
"I'm sorry I wasn't aware that we were dating," I say breathlessly. "Or else I would have done that a lot sooner."
"Some things are even more meaningful after a bit of a wait, don't you think?" Luna says. I shrug.
"Yes. Yes, I suppose." I can't help myself—I plant another peck on her lips.
"Here," she says. She moves up to her knees, moving around so that she sits behind me. "What kind of flowers do you want in your hair?"
I laugh outright, my overwhelming amount of relief and happiness falling out of my throat. I'm also a little bashful at the thought of having flowers weaved into my hair. But it's Luna, and we're all alone, and I don't mind. Not really.
"You choose," I decide. She pulls out my ponytail, letting my red hair fall down my back. She starts to braid it, and I can feel her nestling flowers into it once it's finished. I'm still shocked at how I've actually kissed Luna and she's actually my girlfriend.
The feel of her gentle touch at the nape of my neck sends chills down my spine, and I so desperately want to pull her into another kiss.
Why not? She is your girlfriend, after all, I tell myself.
Convinced by my argument, I spin around and kiss her again, and I feel some of my hair come undone from my sudden movement.
When we get back to the school, our hands entwined and my hair half completed with a flower tickling my ear, smiles on our faces, I barely acknowledge Hermione's satisfied expression as Luna kisses me goodbye.
"I like your hair," Hermione says, once Luna's left. Her smirk is loud enough to say all the words she's holding back.
"Shut it," I advise, but I'm betting that it didn't sound too threatening.
"So you two are dating now?"
"Apparently we always were."
Hermione startles, her eyebrows drawing together, her mouth open and already posing a question.
"I'm a little bit confused, too," I say before she can speak up. "But then again… Luna is confusing."