Y'all, Brennan and Jared are NOT a couple or "screwing". I just wanted to make that clear. They are close, like they were when they were younger. They have been in each other's life for a few years at this point and they spend time together? It's normal to have guy friends and girl friends without being together. Jared knows her feelings for his older brother. Like chill. Please.

I'm getting to a turn in the fic soon and I don't want to jump in the story, I want things to make sense. If you don't want to read it, don't, simple as that.

Anyway, I really like this chapter. I hope you like it too.

Enjoy

Chapter Twenty three

I knew you once in a dream

The weeks passed on and she could feel that the hole inside of her heart grew bigger for every passing day. The hole that she made when she saw him drive away that day, seeing him wave in the rear view mirror. The hole that itches away when Toby told her the news. She tried everything she could to glue it back together but it was useless.

"Temp, Darling, you have to look on the bright side. You have us in your life now. Even though he doesn't remember that part, he sees this side of you every day." George spoke softly through the phone. Brennan pressed it ever so softly closer to her ear.

"I know.. I know.." Brennan muttered. She sat in her office chair and picked on the fabric of her pants. "It's just frustrating."

"Princess.. Life can be frustrating when it comes to love and meaningful things before they show clearity in your life." He smiled.

"That somehow made no sense and all the sense in the world at the same time." Brennan chuckled and shook her head.

"What can I say? I'm a master with words." George shrugged and joined her with a small chuckle.

Brennan spun her chair around and saw Booth walking towards her office. "I gotta go, dad. He's here." She quickly said.

"We'll talk later. Be good, we miss you."

"I miss you guys too." Brennan smiled into her phone before hanging up.

"Who do you miss?" Booth smirked.

"Ah- old- friends?" Brennan questioned herself. She furrowed her brows and stood up.

"O- Kay.." Booth questioned. "I have a body for you, let's go, Bones." He smiled and gestured to the door. Brennan's frown turned upside down and she gathered her necessary belongings to go to a crime scene. "Bring your wetsuit. This one is a little different." He winked at her.

She turned to him and her smile grew bigger. Brennan loved when it was different from the norm. Her suit had been laying in it's spot for a while. She dug it out and put it in her bag. "All done." She smiled and walked past Booth. He followed close after with his hand on the small of her back.

It turned out that the victim had been killed around ten years ago, she was only eighteen. Brennan took great care of her remains, just like she did any other. But this one felt different in a way. She could feel the pain the victim had suffered.

The bones had scars that had healed and been broken all over again, multiple times. She had probably told the people around her that she had fallen, or knocked over her bike, or cut herself doing the dishes. That's what they all did. That's what she had done before she had started living with the Booth's.

Booth didn't know about the good parts of her foster years. He didn't even know about the worst weeks of it all either. He knew that it had been tough and that she had made it out of there. That's why he didn't really understand why this case cut her deeper than it should have.

Her phone had gone off multiple times just in the few hours that she had been back at the lab. She finally gave in and opened the unread messages.

Mary

Are you sure you should be taking a case like this? I'll talk to Seeley about it.

Mary
You know we worry too much.

George

Mary is going crazy over here, just be careful princess.

JJ

Tell me you're not on a foster case.

JJ

You know how the last one went

TD

Call me when you see this, TB..

The case had just started when Brennan had gotten a bad feeling about it all. It all led back to a town where she had only lived a few weeks. But she remembered it like it was yesterday. The way the trees grew different around the house at the end of the road. The way the neighbors always kept an extra eye on you as you stepped into the house. She knew where this case would go. It could've been her.

"Bones, come on, you can't sit here all day." Booth's voice broke through her thoughts. "We have people to catch."

She shook her head and her eyes met his. Brennan tried to hide her pain as much as she could. "Yes. Let me gather my things." She told him with a weak smile. "How many days are we going away for?"

"I would say three days tops, we have a few suspects already." Booth shrugged and opened the case file. "Matthew Frank, Librarian, 65, he was seen at the lake late that night." Brennan remembered him. He wouldn't hurt a fly. He would smoke like a chimney, which was what he was probably doing. But he wouldn't hurt anyone.

"Aren't librarians usually to themselves?" Brennan questioned him and put her bag on her shoulder.

"Yeah, but those are the ones you should be on the lookout for." Booth winked. "Chris Aarons.." Brennan froze and stood spaced out as Booth read about him. That's the man that they would later arrest for murder. She knew that. She had thick scars from his fishing knife. Booth knew about these when he knew who she was. He had kissed them and caressed his fingertips on the skin around it. Questions after questions of how much it hurt and how deep they were.

"Bones, hey, Bones.." Booth's voice broke through. "Is everything okay?" She turned to him slowly and nodded with her lips in a tight line. "You spaced out on me for a second." He chuckled. "And then there is Margeret Daley, but I don't really see a reason why she would cut up someone with a fishing knife." He shrugged and closed the case file.

They left her office and he waited in the parking lot as she grabbed a quick overnight bag. She put her phone to her ear and heard the signals going through on the other side.

"Booth residence." George's voice spoke up with glee on the other side.

"I can't-" Brennan started and broke down in tears. "We're going to Greenville, dad.." She whispered. "I can't- And he is one of the suspects- and Seeley doesn't- And I-," Brennan usually called George dad when she was sad or scared. She needed a father to hold her close.

"Princess.. Slow down, take a deep breath." George spoke softly. "You have to tell him. He can't make you go in there." He told her waving over Mary to the phone. He mouthed 'Greenville' to her and she gasped. George handed the phone over to her and she could hear Brennan crying.

"Sweetheart.." Mary spoke up gently. "I'll call Seeley and talk to him. He knows that you're a family friend, and it'll make sense that we know-"

"No, no, I'll have to do it myself.. It's a thing we do- We have to.." Brennan cut herself off.

"We're a phone call away sweetheart. Is there anything we can do now?" Mary asked her.

"Just.. Don't tell Jared, at least not now." Brennan sighed.

"Okay, We won't, but he will find out eventually."

"I know he will, but not now." She repeated herself.

She felt better talking to her chosen parents for a few minutes. It had calmed her down. Greenville was something she had opened up about a few weeks into living with them. Mary had seen the scars and they had sat down and talked for hours about it. They knew how traumatized that place had made her.

When she got down to the car it had been clear as day that she had been crying just moments before coming down.

"Are you sure you're okay, Temperance?" Booth softly asked her and met her by her side of the car.

"I have to talk to you about something before we leave." She told him, he nodded and they got in the car before she let out a shaky sigh. He tried to read her face, to see what kind of emotion was hiding under all of that armor. "I know who the killer is." She told him.

He furrowed his brows and opened his mouth to speak and then closed it again. "How-"

She took her shirt out of her pants and gathered the courage to lift it up. Brennan sighed and leaned towards the window of the car as she pulled the shirt up on her left. Booth leaned in and saw the deep cuts on her ribs.

"Who- Who did this- I'll-"

"Chris Aarons, he is the man that killed the woman by the lake." Brennan whispered. "He tried- He tried to do the same to me." She told him and let the shirt fall back down.

"You're not going into that house." Booth told her. "If he even looks at you I'll shoot him in between his eyes." He added and his eyes turned dark. "How have you never told me this? I read your file, it's not in there?"

"I had some things deleted from my file." Brennan told him. "No one needs to know about it." She shrugged.

"You shouldn't delete things from your file. It could be important if anything happens to you." Booth told her firmly.

"But you-" Brennan cut herself off.

"But I what?" Booth huffed and furrowed his brows.

"But nothing." Brennan forced a smile. She knew that he had taken away multiple things from his file. The car accident, his broken shoulder. Being held captive. He didn't want to seem weak.

Booth held his eyes on her for a few moments before putting his hand on the ignition. "You know something." He muttered.

"I know nothing." Brennan gave him a fake smile and put her hands up in defence. She had to hear that he had been held captive from Jared. He hadn't even trusted her enough now to tell her, and it had hurt when she found out. But knowing that he was safe made it seem okay. Booth hummed and turned into traffic.

They caught him. Of course they did. He had tried to advance on Brennan but Booth had put a stop to it instantly. "This isn't over," he had muttered as they brought him out to the car in cuffs.

"Yes, it is," Booth scolded and tightened his cuffs slightly.

"Ah- Not so tight."

"You should've thought of that before you used that knife the wrong way." Booth's voice was rough and harsh. Brennan felt a little safer knowing that he would be behind bars.

TD

I know you've seen my text.

She shook her head to get back to the present. Her fingers tapped gently on the side of her phone. Brennan glanced around the lab, noticing she was the only one around at that moment. A defeated sigh left her lips and she dialed Toby's number. She put the phone against her ear and her foot impatiently tapping on the floor.

"TB," Toby's voice spoke up the moment he picked up.

"I'm gonna be fine," she sighed.

"Are you though? Last time-"

"Last time was different," she told him and stood up. "That one had.. Scars, connected to me. This one doesn't."

"So much as a word about nightmares and I'm forcing Booth to pull you from the case." Toby tried to sound firm. "I just don't want you to get hurt," he sighed.

"Thank you for looking out for me, TD.. I really appreciate it," she smiled softly.

"Anything for you." Toby told her. "Are you sure it isn't anything related to you?"

"I'm positive. She was located here in DC when she was murdered and her injuries don't match anything I've experienced." Brennan glanced over the remains.

Toby hummed and shook his head. "Wanna meet for dinner later?"

She glanced at her watch. It was only one pm now. "Yeah, eight at my place?" Brennan asked softly.

"Sounds good."

They said they're goodbye's and Brennan put her phone in her pocket. She never meant to lie to him, she didn't. But this wasn't anything like the other case. She knew the person that killed her actually loved her. That was the problem. They did it to get rid of her. To start fresh.

Brennan stepped out of the car and Booth met up with her on her side. He put his sunglasses on and still squinted up at the sun, just like she knew he would do. She smiled weakly and followed him as he walked over to the office building in front of them.

They had narrowed it down to where her parents worked when she had been murdered. Most of the people still worked there, that's why they had decided to go and see the location. Booth opened the door for her and they walked inside. It was like any other office building they had seen in the past. "Special Agent Seeley Booth, this is my partner Brennan," Booth introduced them as they walked up to the reception.

The receptionist looked at them in question. "We are here for Frank Henson." He explained.

"Of course," she smiled hesitantly and let them through.

"Thank you," he winked and glanced down at her nametag. "Amelia," he smirked and a blush formed on her cheeks.

"You're welcome, Agent Booth," she said softly.

"Special Agent," he corrected her and leaned in. "But you can call me Booth." He winked once more and he heard Brennan sigh behind him. Booth turned to her and Brennan gave him a pointed glance. He turned back to Amelia and Brennan let her eyes roll. "Back to work," He told her and they walked away."

They stood in front of the elevator and Booth turned to Brennan. "What?" She turned to him and hummed in question. Her arms were folded over her chest and her foot was impatiently tapping on the floor. "What was that?"

"We have a case to solve. Not women to flirt with." Brennan told him without looking at him.

"That?" Booth scoffed. "That was not flirting," he told her and pressed the elevator a few times.

Brennan licked her lips and scoffed, before biting her lip to not let anything slip. They had had this conversation before. She knew exactly how he flirted. That's how one of their biggest fights had broken out. She turned to him and cleared her throat. "Special Agent, but you can call me Booth," she repeated his words.

The elevator doors opened and they stepped in. They focused on the case and barely glanced at each other the entire time they were in the office. Brennan was getting annoyed by the way Booth was acting around her. He interrupted her and went with his gut feeling without talking to her about it first.

After a long hour of talking to the different employees of the office, they got nowhere with the case. They ended up quiet in the elevator again. Brennan picked at her nails and shifted her weight. She knew she wasn't supposed to act jealous or stop him from dating other people. He wasn't hers. They weren't together anymore.

The elevator door finally opened and they walked out in silence. Booth walked up to the receptionist once again. Brennan sighed and stayed behind, slowly walking towards the door.

"Thank you for letting us up." Booth smirked. Amelia gave him a bright smile and leaned over the counter. Which made Brennan roll her eyes.

"My pleasure," she smiled and batted her eyes. "Can I.. see you again?" She asked softly.

Brennan accidentally let a chuckle slip from her lips and Booth turned to her. She put her hands up in defence and turned away.

"I'll come back after we're done with this case," he smiled as he turned back to Amelia. "You could be a suspect for all I know." He winked and she giggled.

Booth walked over to Brennan and led her to the car. He unlocked it and she jumped in instantly. He sighed harshly and walked over to his side and jumped in. "What is up with you?" he asked and turned on the engine. "Every goddamn time- I'm just.." he sighed and bit his lip, forcing himself to stop. "Why do you do it?"

"Do what?" Brennan asked innocently as she put on her seatbelt.

"Do what.. Don't give me that-" Booth started but was cut off by Brennan's phone. She reached down and answered it.

"Brennan." She muttered and looked away from Booth. "I- fuck- I forgot, I can't do dinner tonight." she told the person on the phone.

"Oh, OH, okay, so I can't ask a woman out on a date but here you are going to dinner over and over with different guys-"

"Toby, I can't tonight," she spoke. Booth licked his lips and gently hit the wheel. "I'll call you tomorrow." she hung up and glanced over at Booth. He kept his eyes on the road and she turned to do the same. The both of them let out an aggravated sigh. For two different reasons.

She wanted nothing else than to tell him everything, to break down that wall that had been building up between them. She wanted her person back, she wanted their life back that they were supposed to have before everything happened. But he won't remember her.

He wanted.. her. He had been falling deeply in love with her over the past few years and he had tried, he is trying to find a way to move on with ever having her. He wanted to hold her when she's scared, he wanted to be her rock in any weather. He wanted to grow old with her. But she doesn't want the same thing.

One of them was slowly giving up.

The other one was trying to hang on for dear life.

They had decided to focus on the case, even if there was tension between them during the day. This would be the first time that Brennan stepped into his apartment. There hadn't been a reason for them to go home to Booth. Something was pulling at her heart, knowing that she would finally see how he lived his everyday life. Did he still keep it tidy like he had always done? Did he do his dishes or leave it for the next day? Was he always out of groceries?

She stood in front of his door, his mahogany red door, with a case of beers. It's what you did. When working on a case, you brought something to drink, right? She shook her head and knocked.

He almost immediately opened the door. Like he had been waiting for her. He had been waiting, but he didn't want her to know. He had cleaned up and made sure it looked okay. "Bones, come on in," Booth smiled and gestured for her to come in.

She walked past him and held up the beer. "I, uhm, I brought beer, I didn't know if you had any," she told him and cleared her throat. "I just, here." Brennan held them out to him and he closed the door. Booth walked up to her and gently grabbed it from her.

"Thank you, I had some, but you can never have too many. Right?" He winked and walked into the kitchen. "I thought we could order some thai." He called out from the kitchen. She hummed in response and walked around the living room. It was just like she had imagined. It felt like.. home. Her fingertips touched the couch. It was the same one. The one that he had in his childhood room. The one that they had spent countless nights on. Her heart was breaking at the sight of everything in the apartment.

She walked over to the bookcase and could barely hold back the gasp that left her lips. There it was. There everything was. Everything that she held close and yet so far away. The book that she had given him. The necklace that he had given her. The one that she couldn't bear to keep after breaking his heart, tearing into pieces.

Brennan took a deep breath and brought her hand up to the book and gently took it off its stand. She blinked slowly and opened it. To her surprise, that's where he kept her letter. The letter. The actual letter that she had dreaded writing and leaving behind.

"What are you doing?" Booth called out and she quickly closed the book and put it back. She turned around and met his eyes. Pure rage.

"Thank you, I had some, but you can never have too many. Right?" He winked and walked into the kitchen. "I thought we could order some thai." He called out from the kitchen. Booth heard her hum in response and he took two beers out of the case. He didn't know what to do at this point. He knew that this was a rocky part for them. This happened once in a while. They got mad at each other. They had so much anger in them. So much unresolved tension.

He walked to the living room and stopped abruptly by the doorway. He felt his entire world stop. His heart ached. The image in front of him struck him harder than he ever thought it could. He saw something.

She walked through the rows of bookcases. He watched her touch the books in front of her with such a gentle touch. The care that she had for the stories that those books held. The care that she had for the world. She picked out one of the books and flipped through the pages.

They hadn't seen each other all afternoon. He had practice for the upcoming game and she was tutoring as admired every part of her. Her brain, her heart, her body- her soul. He could stare at her all day. She would smack him on the shoulder and giggle as she flipped her hair to the side. Her hair. Her gorgeous waist long hair that tickled him when he held her close.

She disappeared into the book that was in her hands. He could stare at her for hours when she was reading. When they laid in the hammock together he often glanced over his book to see the excitement in her eyes. The pure love that she had, it made him fall harder every day.

He leaned against the bookcase behind her. Booth could barely wrap his head around how she could get lost in every book she found. He could and would only read his Sherlock books. "What story is it this time?" Booth asked softly. He saw her jump slightly but could feel the smile radiating from her.

"It's about a girl who falls madly in love with a boy she wasn't supposed to have." She told him with her back to him.

"Sounds familiar," he smirked and walked up to her. "Wonder where I've heard that before.." He whispered as he wrapped his arms around her waist. He kissed her pale neck and nuzzled into the spot he had kissed.

Cutlery on the floor.

Camping trip into the woods.

His birthday party.

The necklace.

The fight.

The car crash.

The letter.

The pain.

The heartache.

He felt his entire world fall apart. It's her. It's always been her. All of this time. Her hair, her eyes, the way she spoke when no one was around. There had always been something that felt different with her. Why didn't she tell him? Why?

Reality came back to him in a split second as he saw her open the book that had it's designated spot in his bookcase. "What are you doing?" Booth called out and she quickly closed the book and put it back. She turned around and met his eyes. Pure rage.

"I didn't- I'm- I just wanted-"

"That's not yours to touch." Booth told her as he walked up to her.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know-" Booth locked eyes with her, with her arm in his grasp.

"I think- I'm sorry, I think you should go." Booth muttered and let go of her hand. He rubbed his hand over his face. "I-.."

"I didn't mean to step over a boundary." Brennan told him softly. Booth let out a sigh. He wanted nothing else than to hold her close and feel her heartbeat against his. But everything he felt when he looked at her was rage. Pure unintentional rage.

"I know. I know you didn't- I just- This is the most important thing in my life, beside Parker." He pointed to the book and the necklace. "This is what got me to where I am today." He told her. A single tear fell onto her cheek. "No one is supposed to touch it, esp- No one." Booth told her.

"I'll go." Brennan whispered and walked towards the door. She stopped halfway. "Was she important to you?" She asked in the softest voice he had ever heard her speak.

"I couldn't live without her, until one day I had to." Booth whispered and shrugged. She nodded and left.

Booth kicked the couch in front of him and scratched his head. How could he not have seen it? She was there. Everyday. Every single day, she was there. They all knew. His parents. Jared. Toby. They all fucking knew about it. He felt the anger built inside of him.

He walked over to the counter where he had put his phone and grabbed it. The rage was all the way out in his fingertips. He was vibrating. His fingers pressed the number he wanted to dial and he put the phone to his ear.

"The person you're trying to reach is unavailable. Please leave a message after the beep"

"Jared, come on." Booth sighed harshly and hung up. He dialed the next number, his parents, and put the phone to his ear. He impatiently walked across his living room. After a minute of signals he hung up. "Why is no one fucking answering?" He muttered and rubbed his face more as he sat down defeated on his couch.

"Toby."

He had gotten his number during a case, so he was able to reach him if they had found anything. Booth quickly found his contact and pressed call.

"Donovan." A cheery voice spoke up on the other side. Booth panicked as he spoke up. Everything was attacking him at once. All of the trips up to his college. Their feud in high school. The last time he saw him, as him, was the last time he had seen her. "Heeelllo?"

"Why did no one tell me?" Booth asked firmly. The line went silent and then he heard a door close.

"We weren't allowed." Toby told him plainly.

"We weren't allowed my ass, Donovan." Booth scoffed and leaned forward. "Why?"

"Doctors orders." Toby held his voice calm. "I'm not lying, man."

"Why didn't she say anything?" He asked with pain covering every inch of his voice.

"You don't know how much this has been hurting her." Toby sighed. "I've seen her crying every single day."

"Then why didn't she-"

"Doctors orders." Toby repeated. "If she or anyone else would have told you about everything that went down or how we know each other, then it would create a different world- Different perspective of how you know us." He sighed. "It wouldn't be real. It would be from our perspective."

"Fuck." Booth sighed. "It's been years. Years, man. I've missed years." His voice cracked. "How do I ever get that back?"

"I don't know.. I don't know, but what I do know is that you can make every day from now count if you just tell-"

"No."

"No?"

"I'm not telling her that I know. Fuck that. I can't- This is- It's been years- I can't just.." Booth sighed.

"What do you mean you can't tell her? This is what we have all been waiting for, what she has been waiting for. That you remember her. Everything." Toby scoffed.

"I can't just go to her tomorrow and be like 'yeah so I remember everything, let's go back to normal.' I can't do that." Booth told him. "I need time."

"Not too much time." Toby told him.

"I just need time." Booth sighed and hung up.

Brennan ran down to her car and felt her heart beating out of her chest. What was going on? What did she do? She picked up her phone and called the only person she could think of.

"Ya'llo"

"Jared, I don't-"

"I'm five minutes away," He told her over the phone. "Keep me on until you get home, okay?"

"I don't think he'll ever remember me." She sobbed.

DUN DUN DUN Please leave a review!

I'll try to be quick to update! Love to you all