First off, sorry for going A-wall on you haha, life got crazy and I couldnt for the life of me word this chapter. When I tell you I lost motivation for everything, wow, I

Chapter Twenty four

Play games with my memory

They worked on the case side by side but they rarely spoke. They kept it professional at work, but as soon as the doors closed they went their separate ways. Booth could barely breathe at the sight of her. His heart was pounding out of his chest. He was getting new memories every single day and it made his head spin.

The way she would move, the way she spoke, the way she spaced out. Everything made his world spin. The feeling of falling in love was nowhere compared to what he was feeling right now. He was falling in love with someone that he had been in love with since he was seventeen. Yet, he was falling in love with this new woman, who had taken his world by storm and shaken him to his core. Made everything better. And now? Now they were the same person.

What aggravated him the most was that there was no way to not look at her and lose every thought that he had. Everything he had been mad about, everything that had pissed him off about the entire situation. His mind went blank every time her cerulean blues met his eyes.

"You can't keep doing this, Booth." Toby sighed. "It's killing you inside." He leaned forward and put his elbows on his knees. "I'm in the same position I was back in college and I know how that story ended." Booth met his eyes and sighed. "She was regretting her decision every single day. And I had to keep that secret from you for years," he shook his head softly. "I'm not doing that again."

"I'm not gonna wait years to tell her, dude," Booth groaned. "It's literally been like three weeks since I remembered. I just need to come to terms with it. Everything. Her being here again. Well, her being… Bones," he shrugged. "I never thought I would find her again. I never thought I would have a chance to meet the person that changed my life before my crash."

Toby looked at him in awe. "What are you going to do then?" he asked quietly.

Booth glanced down at his hands. "I don't know real-" he was interrupted by a knock on the door. Brennan stood there with a bright smile on her face. Hiding behind a smile is what got her through the days. "Bones. Hey, hi, what's up?" Booth stuttered and stood up awkwardly.

"What are you guys talking about?" Brennan asked with her brows furrowed.

"Ah- you know.. Guy stuff.." Booth chuckled nervously. "Right, Tobster?"

"Tob- Yeah, guy stuff," Toby scoffed and stood up. "I have evidence to look at," he said and stood up to leave. "Are we still on for tonight?" He asked Brennan as he walked to the door.

"Yeah, if the case doesn't keep me," She smiled. Toby saw the pain in her eyes. The pain that could easily be taken away by one simple sentence. He turned to Booth and gave him a stern look. Booth put up his hands in defence and put his lips into a thin line.

"I'll call if I find anything," he said and left.

Brennan watched him leave and bit the inside of her lip. Nervous as to why she had come here. She didn't really have a reason for it, she just drove here. "So.."

"What's up, Bones?" Booth asked her softly.

"I just.. I thought that we could grab some lunch," she shrugged with a weak smile. "On me?" she added quickly.

"I can pay for myself," he chuckled.

"No, but.. Yeah, I know that. I just wanted to say I'm sorry for that night."

"Bones, no," Booth walked around his desk to stand in front of her. "That wasn't your fault, I overreacted," he said and put his hands on her shoulders. "That part of my apartment, no one has ever touched that, except me. And it just caught me off guard." They held eye contact for too long that was socially acceptable for friends. But everyone knew that they weren't just friends. They knew. A spark between them that had been igniting for over a decade, lit up slightly as their eyes grew darker.

"So- I- Uhm.. Lunch?" she stuttered. He gestured towards the door and his hand found the small of her back and they walked out together. Things might not be back to normal, but they always found a way to find each other.

Lunch had been nice, they talked and laughed like they usually did. The waitress kept her yes on them. Even she knew that deep down there was something more than their fond friendship. She had seen them grow closer over the years.

Every now and then they would come in with someone else. He would still order the bigger size of fries but his lunch companion never stole any fries as they laughed at his joke. She would keep quiet when her companion ordered his favorite pie, but the waitress could see that it was killing her inside. There was so much more to these two than she could ever imagine.

They had driven back to the hoover so that Brennan could get her car. This time the car filled with a more comfortable silence. They had always been comfortable with each other, they knew where they had each other at all times.

"Thanks for the ride back," she spoke up and broke the silence.

"No worries, Bones. I wouldn't let you walk back from the diner," he turned to her and smiled as he parked the car. "Thank you for lunch," he added and gently put his hand over hers. She stopped breathing for a moment, hoping that he wouldn't notice. "Don't worry about what happened, I promise it's fine."

"If you say so," she gave him a weak smile.

"I'll tell you one day why it's so special," he squeezed her hand before both of them got out of the car. She lit up slightly, he trusted her enough to tell her about.. her? Even though it made her happy it made her somewhat confused. She would know everything already.

"I'll look forward to it," she let out when he met her on her side of the car.

She got into her car reluctantly. The lunch had been nice. The best one they had had in a while. Maybe things were turning around.

Yet, something felt off. Not wrong, just off. And she couldn't put her finger on it. He had ordered fries and she had eaten half. She had made sure that they ordered the apple pie and she had tasted it even though she knew she wouldn't like it.

As she drove to the Jeffersonian she saw the people in the park, either walking their dog or playing with their kids. They were having a normal day. A normal Tuesday that shouldn't be out of the ordinary but there was something in the air that made her stomach turn. She gripped the wheel tighter as she turned into the parking garage of the Jeffersonian.

Brennan parked her car and played with the keys in her lap. She couldn't tell Angela. She couldn't talk to Cam, because they were old buddies. She sighed and let her head fall back against the headrest.

The only sound in the car was her unsteady breathing. She couldn't do this anymore. Pretend to not love him. Pretend to not know who he really was, what he meant to her. Every single day that passed tore away a piece of her heart.

She felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. The movement made her mind blank. Brennan had been sitting there for longer than she had intended. She patted down her pants and found her phone.

"Brennan."

"Sweetheart." Mary's chipper voice spoke up on the other side of the phone. "Did I catch you in a bad time?"

"No, no, I was just- No, it's not a bad time." Brennan caught her own words.

"I was calling because I wanted to invite you to my birthday this year, in Philly this time." Mary told Brennan softly.

"You know I can't…"

"But let's make it different this year, let's try to make him remember you so we can all celebrate together," she could hear Mary smile through the phone.

Brennan scoffed at this and shook her head. "And how are we going to do that?" She had known that it would come to this. They were tired of pretending, tired of the sadness that captured Brennan's heart. "I can't tell him."

"You're not going to tell him. You can show him. Indirectly talk to him about it. Mention small details."

"It won't work…"

"Have you tried it?"

"I mean, no I haven't but-"

"Then you don't know that it won't work," Mary told her. "Start with simple things like your old perfume and that god awful word you guys used every single day… What was it? Awesomeness? Groovy?" Brennan could hear the wheels turning in Mary's head and it made her heart warm.

"Legitness." Brennan smiles softly.

"Legitness," Mary cheered. "Start using that word again. It'll make him think for sure."

Brennan came home that night completely exhausted. She knew that the weeks ahead of her would be challenging. It was exactly four weeks before Mary's birthday. Four weeks before he had to remember.

She had recently bought her old perfume, just for the memories of it. Not to use it. It stood on her nightstand, untouched. Brennan walked over to her bed and stared at it. Why was she doing this? There wasn't any chance that he would remember her now if he hadn't already, right?

The perfume stared back at her, taunting her. Mocking the way she was being so indecisive. It was just a perfume. A stupid perfume that could change everthing. Brennan scoffed at herself. "Why am I like this?" she asked herself and grabbed the perfume. She removed the lid and inhaled the scent. A smile found its way to her lips.

Long nights by the lake. Driving to nowhere with her hand in his. Ice cream at Sid's. It was all coming back to her. Every detail. Every second. Brennan would be lying to herself if she said that she didn't need this as much as Booth did. She had been losing a bit of herself for every passing day.

The next morning she relives every moment by forcing herself to wear it to work. She had to do this, there were only mere weeks until they were going to Philly, or well, she was only going to Philly if he knew who she was.

Angela wanted her to come in early today, she wanted to go over something with her and she was kind of nervous. Why would Brennan be nervous over seeing her best friend? It was out of the ordinary for her.

Brennan gathered her belongings and made sure that the medallion didn't peak through her chunky necklace. She drove in silence to the Jeffersonian and made her way to her office without being noticed by her best friend. Or she thought.

"Brennan," Angela called out as she got close to Brennan's office.

"Ange," Brennan spoke up in a strained voice.

Angela inhaled slightly. "What's that perfume? I love it."

Brennan froze slightly, she didn't think it would be so obvious that she had changed her perfume. "Oh, yeah, I uhm- I bought it a few weeks ago." Brennan tried to shrug it off.

"It's nice," her friend smiled. "I wanted to talk to you about something." Angela got serious and sat down in front of Brennan's table.

"Yes, you told me so yesterday, what is it?" Brennan sat down in front of her.

"What is going on between you and Booth? There is some kind of obvious tension between the two of you." Angela asked.

"There is?" Brennan was in full panic mode. No one was supposed to know. "We got into a.. disagreement a few weeks ago and we have barely spoken since.. But things are turning around now." Brennan gave her a weak smile.

"What kind of disagreement?" Angela tilted her head in question.

"Nothing really.." Brennan tried to shrug it off. "Nothing worth mentioning.."

"You were on non speaking terms for three weeks, Bren. It's worth mentioning."

"I can't get into it now. I'll tell you eventually, but I can't right now, because I don't even know how to handle it." Brennan bit her lip in hopes of Angela understanding her situation.

"Hm.. Fine, but as soon as you're ready to talk about it you know where my door is." Angela sighed and got up. "Are you going out in the field with Booth today?"

Brennan only nodded and instantly felt the nerves set in. What the hell was he going to do when he noticed her perfume? Angela left her office and Brennan got to work, waiting for her partner.

The moment Brennan closed the door after herself Booth recognized her new perfume. How could he not? He had kissed her neck and he had tasted the perfume with his tongue.

She put her seatbelt on and sat quietly beside him. Not really knowing what to say. They were better now, but not good.

"Is that a new perfume?" Booth broke the silence with a soft voice. Brennan glanced at him and smiled ever so gently.

"Yeah, I mean, I've worn it before but I haven't worn it in a while. So I guess it's new." Brennan tried to explain the situation and turned her attention to the road.

"It's nice.. it suits you." Booth smiled and turned back to the road. "It smells like you, and sunsets by the water."

Brennan quickly looked at Booth again. That's not right, he couldn't have said that. Her heart was beating out of her chest. Was this all it took?

They sat on old furniture by the lake. He had his arms wrapped around her waist and his head rested against her shoulder.

"It's so nice out here." She murmured softly, not to disturb the silence around them.

"That's why I like it so much. Mom and dad wanted to move for a while, after M passed away. But I reminded them of the peace and quiet this lake has to offer. So we stayed." Booth shrugged behind her and held her closer.

She hummed in response and drew circles on his arm. This is where she belonged. Even if it was wrong and if they got caught it would ruin everything. In his arms was where she felt like home.

"I can't get enough of the way you smell. You smell amazing." Booth put his nose to her neck and inhaled. Brennan giggled and wriggled in his arms. "It smells so much like you, so gorgeous and happy and-" he glanced over the lake. "Like that sunset."

"Are you okay, Bones?" Booth asked after a while.

She shook her head to get back to the present. "Yeah, yeah, I'm fine." Brennan licked her lips and let her eyes stay out of focus. She had found home once. She would find it again.

Brennan took out her phone and pressed on Mary's contact to send a text.

I think it worked.

Days passed and Brennan started thinking that she was playing herself. Did he remember her or not? He hadn't said anything at all, all week. Just the tiny little comment in the car. Was she so desperate that she thought that was him showing that he remembers her?

Brennan shook her head as she walked beside Angela in the lab. "Are you okay, Sweetie?"

"I'm fine, Ange. I don't get why everyone is asking me that."

"Because you've been talking to yourself and shaking your head these past few days. It's not really normal behavior from you." Angela gave her a friendly smile.

Brennan hadn't realised that she was being that obvious. "Oh, I've just been.. thinking about my new book, trying to think of ideas." She gave her friend the weakest lie she could think of.

"You don't have to lie. I know there is something bothering you." Angela stopped outside of Brennan's office. The anthropologist had stopped listening the moment she saw something that didn't belong on her table. "Sweetie?"

The letter was neatly placed on her table. She knew who it was from the moment she saw it. He had put the last Smurf she needed for her Smurf collection in front of the letter. Her heart was aching for the words on the paper in the folded envelope.

"Ange, could you give me a few minutes?" Brennan said and walked up to the table and picked up the Smurf. She let her thumb grace over the blue plastic.

"Is that a Smurf?" Ange chuckled softly.

"Yeah, my final piece. Scaredy Smurf." Brennan told her friend without taking her eyes off the plastic. She knew why he had given her this specific Smurf. They were both scared. They were both facing a reality they never thought they would see again.

"I'm guessing there is a meaning behind it?"

Brennan only nodded and put it down gently on the table before she sat down and looked at the letter. It felt like she would burn her fingers if she touched it.

"I'll come back later." Angela knew her friend wasn't listening anymore and closed the door after her.

The envelope had one word on it. Sherlock. She opened it and took out the paper inside. Brennan never thought this would happen. A deep breath left her lips and she unfolded the letter.

My sweetest Sherlock,

It has been far too long.

I've been sitting on this letter for a while now. Stop pouting. I have my reasons for it. First and foremost, I've been rewriting this letter for years. Not knowing when or if I'll ever get to see you again. It's been difficult knowing that there was a big part of me missing, and I didn't even know what was missing. I just knew my heart ached for what I needed to find.

I've known who you are to me for a few weeks now. When I first remembered you, I couldn't believe it. You had been lying to me for years on end and here I was, blind as ever. With a memory loss at that, but still blind.

The moment I saw that it was you, everything clicked. Why I felt like the world stopped spinning when our eyes met. Why I recognized the laugh that you only get after three beers. Why the blue in your eyes reminded me of the way the water would crash against the shore at my parents house.

It all just made sense.

But, I was mad. I was mad that you lied and that in turn made me not want to talk to you. I could barely look at you without feeling that anger. And I knew that I had to work it out before talking to you about it.

And then one day, I wasn't mad anymore. It was the day you came to my office with that innocent smile on your face. I knew you only came there to see me, and to see if we were okay. Of course we were okay. We were always going to be okay. We're Sherlock and Watson. We always find a way.

But after anger, came confusion.

Why didn't you tell me? I know the doctor's said that I had to find out on my own. But it was us. You knew what we had - have meant everything to me. I just couldn't wrap my head around it. Until one day when it hit me. You were scared. Just as scared as I was. You were scared that I wouldn't be able to look you in the eyes and see the same person I saw 14 years ago.

I had to give myself time to think. And give myself time to realize that you were the person that I fell in love with twice. You're the person that I would do anything for. Even if it was something simple like driving across town to get your favorite flavor of ice cream.

And somewhere along the lines I knew that you were the one that would always lift me up when I was down. Just as you have done so many times before. You were the one that I was meant to find again.

And I did fall in love again. I fell hard. But I think you know who it is.

Love,

Your Watson

I've missed you more than I ever thought I could, And to think that you were right in front of me this whole time.

Brennan glanced up from the letter. A shaky sigh left her lips and she quickly looked out from her office. The world kept spinning, as expected. She put the letter in the envelope and grabbed her bag before leaving her office. Brennan sprinted past Angela's office and Angela ran out.

"Sweetie? Where are you going?" Angela called after her.

"I have to.." she walked backwards and let a nervous chuckle leave her lips. "I have to do something." She held up the letter and walked out.

Angela scoffed curiously and folded her arms over her chest. Everything that had been weighing down on her friend seemed to be gone. She saw Brennan walking on clouds out of the office.

Dun dun dunnnnnn, what is brennan gonna do? hihihihi

Please tell me your thoughts