A Shinobi's Magical Chakra

by magicalbloodfox

Naruto learns about his mothers life through one of her childhood friends. Now he peruses to be the best wizard he can be to honor his mother, as well as be the best Shinobi. What happens when a ninja enters Hogwarts. A maelstrom

11. Chapter 11 round 2?

Still Alive

Disclaimer- bla bla bla you know

Story time

Kings Crossing

"Look I know we had our moments, but there is no way you could convince me to run headfirst into a wall." Kiba was not convinced even when the wizards agreed, his senses didn't detect anything from the wall that was placed in the middle of the train station.

"That's ok, you can go last." Naruto shrugged, as Kiba watched fascinated as one after the other, the others disappeared into the wall, even their scent disappeared. Magic, great if it can mess with his senses then he would be in for a miserable year.

As Sai was the last to pass by he spoke to Kiba, "You know, if you keep acting like this, you'll end up being the omega of your clan. Aren't they nurtured to keep them from spreading their genes? Your mother and sister might be shunned as well, maybe killing you would be simpler." Kiba lunged for him, but as Sai stopped just before the wall, he stopped to the side dodging Kiba.

Just then something happened that surprised everyone, Kiba's face slammed into a solid wall, the same wall everyone but the four of them went through. "Nice one dickless-kun." But Naruto was just as surprised as everyone else. Harry walked up beside Naruto fearing they wouldn't make the train to Hogwarts, surely they would notice Naruto's absence?

There was a screech and a squeal, as if a bird of prey had found it's meal. As Naruto walked up to the wall to investigate, something slammed into the ground in front of him. As it got to its feet Naruto studied it for a moment before smiling. The creature looked like Robin-chan, but male, it was covered in dirt and wore a potato sack to cover its body. It was in fact a house elf, He also knew this particular house elf thanks to his friendships. Picking up the little guy he gave him a squeeze. "How are you doing Dobby? Did you volunteer to help out at Hogwarts because of all the extra attendance that would be attending? Ooh, can you make ramen, I love Ramen." he continued to speak as he tapped the wall, only for his foot to pass through, quickly, all the while he was talking he stepped through followed by Harry and Sai who dragged Kiba through.

"Where have you three been, we're going to miss the train. Where is Naruto?" Molly ranted as she finally caught sight of their missing few, years of keeping tabs on seven children gave her instincts on keeping track of them all.

"Naruto-kun said he would meet us on the train, he wanted to avoid that crowd." Sai answered pointing to the over crowded platform.

"Alright, perhaps he went to save us a cabin? Anyway, let's make our way onto the train."

"Mom, you're coming with us?" Ron groned, they'll never get to do anything fun with their parents breathing down their neck.

"Yes we are son, how else are we going to take the class?" Arthur answered their son, he groaned as the twins grinned at each other, they were always themselves, even in the presence of their parents.

The train was far more crowded than they expected, more carts were added to help transport the larger crowd. As they made their way towards the head of the train, sometimes they were hailed by others wishing to speak to Lucius or Nercissa, while Molly and Arthur kept the children together. Just as they were nearing one of the last carts, they were blocked by one of the conductors. "Pardon me, but you wouldn't happen to be the Malfoy and Weasley party correct?" he lowered his voice once they nodded. " Lord Uzumaki asked me to escort you to his private cabin, so he could avoid this over crowded train."

They were brought farther forward to a door with the Uzumaki crest, it was located past the conductor station where the nice old lady would usually pack her trolly. When they entered the cabin, they were astonished by the decorations. There were chandeliers, shining gold and silver, the seats were a mix of green and red and spread lengthwise across the entire cart, near the front was a mini bar with cups of ramen and candy for them to enjoy on the long train ride, or at least half the ramen cups were gone, the perpetrators sat on one of the benches consuming yet another cup.

The first one was a small pointed ear creature wearing silk robes while the second one, taller than the first was bare footed, dressed in grey gi and wore a long sleeve red haori trimmed in black flames. They were surprised to see him wearing square framed glasses, he had one of his note books opened and a pen out as he wrote down notes. "Wow whiskers, you look really cute with those glasses on." Pansy rushed to take the seat next to him. Looking over to the house elf eating a cup of ramen and staring back at her. "Why do you have a house elf with you? Is that Dobby?"

"Dobby? What are you doing here?!" Draco demanded of the elf.

"Now now, there's nothing to worry about. I ran into him just outside the barrier, he has offered to help out Hogwarts with the larger than normal crowd. I can't wait to try his ramen." Naruto answered excitedly.

"That house elf stopped all my mail from reaching me or my friends!" Harry growled causing Dobby to shrink back.

"Don't yell at my house elf Potter!" Draco snapped back.

"I'm sure it was all a misunderstanding. I'm sure Dobby is really sorry for doing that and promises not to do that again, right Dobby?" Naruto asked, turning to the elf. Dobby seemed to shrink back at the undertone of his voice.

"Dobby is truly sorry and Dobby promises not to bother the great Harry Potter sir."

"See nothing to worry over, it is all taken care of, why don't you head over to Hogwarts now Dobby, it does take a minimum of six hours to make the broth for ramen." with that Dobby popped away to start. The entire time Naruto spoke he was smiling with his eyes closed facing Lucius.

"But why was it wearing nice looking robes?" Theo asked, taking a seat on the other side.

"I gave them to him." Naruto answered.

"But Naruto, a house elf is free when you give them clothes." Narcissa explained to him.

"Actually only when the family which the house elf is serving frees him when given clothes. Did you know that you can tell just how prestiges a magical family is by looking at their house elf? You see house elves live a symbiotic lifestyle with magical families. By housing and welcoming a house elf into their home and allowing them to stay gives them a small access to the magical familie's family magic which allows them to survive. In return the house elf would care for the family in return by serving and remaining loyal to them. Their friends and associates would usually give the house elf clothes that would honor their family." he was interrupted by Ron.

"That's good and all do you even need those glasses, I never saw you wear them last year?"

"And didn't your mother free your house elf?" Theo cut in as well.

"Yes, but when Robin-chan made the vow it binded her to the family allowing her greater access to the family magic, and." He tapped the side of his glasses causing seals to appear all over it and swirl like ones on the lenses. "I put seals on these to help me process information at a faster rate, the downside is the after effects, but this bit of fuinjutsu allowed me to pass my sixth mastery."

"What's Fuinjutsu?"

"Seals or as the magical world calls them runes."

"Bill here had earned top scores in his NEWTS in ancient runes." Molly beamed grabbing Bill sitting next to her.

"I thought there were only five rune masteries?" Bill asked, "I only reached my fourth last year and Hogwarts only goes up to the third."

Naruto nodded his head yawning making Hinata narrow her eyes at him. " Well most shinobi will have a third mastery by, yawn, the time they graduate, usually high chunin, yawn, and higher would usually reach their fifth. The fifth fuin mastery is just the ability to use fuinjutsu in combat, yawn, after that you get into the higher tiers of the sealing arts." they were taken back by his knowledge on the subject. Naruto yawned once more. "You know if you want to reach your fifth mastery, I can administer the test since I am currently on my eighth mastery. YAWN."

Hinata had enough and stood in front of Naruto with her arms cross froning down at him. "Naru-kun how long have you been using those glasses? Exactly how long did you sleep last night, don't lie." Naruto turned his face away mumbling. "What was that?"

"She sounds just like mom." Ron whispered to the twins, both nodded surprised at who they thought was a shy timid girl.

"Two hours, but Iruka-sensei contacted me for help since he doesn't know how wizards wield magic. So I had to help write out a syllabus and plan training seasons and break the classes up since there were alot of sign ups."

"I don't remember signing anything?" Percy spoke up.

"When we were at the ministry a paper was passed around to those who wished to sign up, which you all did, owls were quickly sent out during the concert for those who did not attend. Jiji also told me that he had spoken to the headmaster to allow us to share some of our festivals during the year, he said it was a smart idea to share culture from all over the continent."

"What festivals are taking place?" Hinata asked curiously, forgetting her anger at him for not taking care of himself. She discreetly shoved Pansy to the side, it was quite easy and the look on the other girl's face showed that she was surprised by her strength.

"What about the Kyuubi festival?" Sai asked, the train cart was silent. "You can't forget one of the most important festivals in Konoha, right Naru-kun?" Naruto didn't say anything, though everyone was now curious about why he didn't mention the festival. "Plus we can't forget the day you were born." Sai smiled.

"Oh your birthday is the same day as a festival, lucky!"

"Troublesome, it really depends who you ask." Shikamaru spoke up from his prone position on the bench. He had one knee bent with the other one resting on it and his hands behind his head, Choji allowed him to his thigh as a pillow while he munched on the snakes provided, he took caution to stay away from acid pops when Hinata told him her first experience with magical candy.

"What do you mean depends on who you ask?" Hermione asked for all.

"Thirteen years ago on October tenth, a nine tailed demon fox, Kyuubi attacked the hidden leaf. It stood taller than the Hokage Mountain and was said to cause tsunamis and earthquakes with a single swipe of a tail. It's roar deafened ears and if near it could cause your head to explode, and this is all without even using it's chakra, it was considered a natural disaster." As Shikamaru continued to explain what was taught in the academy, the faces of everyone around grew pale and sickly. A beast so powerful that it killed thousands of shinobi and had even eradicated clans completely. They couldn't even imagine the destruction it would cause in the outside world. And to hear that their fourth Hokage had defeated the thing sacrificing himself, they realised that that was the same day that Kushina and her husband Minato Namikaze died.

Naruto had his head in Hinata's lap facing her stomach as she ran her hands through his hair, he placed his feet in Sai's lap who just placed his hands on top while speaking. "That's right, we celebrate each year for the defeat of the Kyuubi and the only time Naruto-kun was ever held by his parents, it was in their dead grasps and drenched in their blood."

There gasps all around. "That wasn't nice, and you call yourself his friend, friends don't say that to each other." Hermione ranted for a few more seconds before stopping, she noticed he still had that creepy smile on his face.

Sai just tilted his head similar to what Naruto would do sometimes. "I read a few books on interacting with friends, and one said that when two friends are really close, they would insult each other without getting angry."

"Yeah, but that was a little over the line." She mumbled back.

"I have a question, how did you even become friends with Naruto in the first place?" Draco was getting a bit peeved with Sai.

"Munch, Shino, Kiba, Shikamaru and I all met him when we were in the Academy, munch."

"Yeah, he usually hid in our class after he either pulled a prank or was hiding from his d-rank punishment missions for so called pranks." Kiba laughed.

"He did help us progress through our studies as compensation for disrupting class." Shino's bugs consumed a cauldron much to the other's distaste for bugs.

"Oh so he helped you study for your classes?" Hermione was already planning on asking him for help with the ninja class.

Flashback

"Thanks again for helping us out with studying for the test Hinata-san." Shino greeted her as he, Shikamaru, Ino, Choji and Kiba were invited over to the Hyuuga compound for a study season for the upcoming test at the academy.

"Yeah Hinata thanks, if I don't get good grades on this test, my mom said she'd have me sleeping with the pups." Kiba spoke while walking in with Akamaru on his head.

"I'm glad to help Kiba-kun." Hinata let Shikamaru, Choji and Ino in as well.

"It's only natural to ask her for help, she is at the top of our class, even forehead and Sasuke-kun are behind her. What are your secret studying techniques?" Ino sidled up to Hinata as she brought in drinks for everyone.

"Um Hinata, why did you bring an extra cup and what's with all the ramen cups?" Kiba asked, looking around the room.

Hinata turned her head towards her bed where Ku-chan, her fox stuffed doll that Naruto gave to her to protect her when he wasn't around. Just as it hit eight, Ku-chan disappeared and in its place was her Naru-kun. "Sorry I'm late Hina-hime, I just finished my missions for the day, you ready to study!" He spoke fast as he jumped at her, hugging her close before touring to the rest of the group.

"Naruto, you're the reason Hinata had been Acing her tests?" Kiba asked in disbelief. The kid may have graduated ahead of everyone, but he acts so childish and oblivious to things around him, no one could believe he really was a ninja.

Naruto had just finished the last of the prepared ramen cups, "yeah, when I'm not on a mission or training, I help Hinata with her studies."

"Sweet, so I was thinking we could start with chakra theory, since it's one of my worst subjects." He spoke as he pulled out the school books he usually never bothered reading.

Naruto shook his head as everyone looked at him expectantly, except Hinata. "Now now you can put that stuff away." as he spoke he pulled out a few sheets of paper hidden in his clothes. "I have the answers to the tests." Everyone looked at him with widened eyes.

"I.. Isn't that cheating?" Ino

Kiba let out a bark of laughter, "Ha I don't care, good looking out man!" as he reached for the papers, Naruto smacked his hand away.

"It is not so easy to cheat, especially with Iruka-sensei as your head teacher. You can't simply copy and paste your answers, that's a sured way of being caught and failing the test." Naruto said, pulling out not books and pens.

"If it's so complicated then shouldn't we just study for the test?" Kiba asked.

Naruto turned to him with a serious look, I watched you all year, are you confident you can pass even with all the studying you do tonight?" Kiba opened his mouth to respond, but Naruto lifted his eyebrow before he closed it.

"So then, what do we need to do?" Ino asked, she liked this idea much better than forehead's idea of studying all the way up to class tomorrow.

"Well first you must know that as your sensei, Iruka-sensei would have gotten to know you quite well over your time in the academy. So he would be able to recognise whether you're cheating or not. When writing down your answer, you have to write in a context that he would believe you actually thought up on your own. Your penmanship is another part, if you write your answers to confidently or to swiftly, it could point you out. Putting a few hesitant tremors in your handwriting would make it look like you were hesitating in the answer." Soon even Shikamaru and Shino became interested in Naruto's deeper explanation into fooling others with information they thought you wouldn't have. They didn't really have any worry about failing the test, they were both smart enough to pass without cheating, but these explanations were fascinating and weren't too troublesome.

Flashback Ends

"You seem to really be into academics Beaver-chan." Sai told Hermione who glared at him.

"My name is Hermione Granger, use it. Secondly yes I do enjoy studying, it will lead to a good job and eventually I could even become minister. Receiving high achievement in your schooling could open many doors." Hermione continued on for another minute explaining her love for books, until Harry and Ron placed a hand over her mouth to quiet her.

"Ow, bloody hell Hermione!" Ron jerked his hand back as he was bitten.

"Don't do that." Hermione looked at him with narrow eyes, but quieted noun the less.

"I agree beaver-chan, knowledge can give you many advantages, but school is not necessary to learn, in fact it may impede one's growth." Hermione looked gasped at his remark. School not necessary? what warped mind would think that. School allowed one to make friends and acquaintances, she wanted to berate him for even thinking that, and she did with all the wrath of Hogwarts biggest swot could muster.

"Surely you have enjoyed your academy days?" Molly asked. Sai looked at her with his creepy smile.

"I never attended the academy." everyone gasped except the shinobi. Shikamaru and the rest of the clan children knew that he most likely came from root, a organisation that supposedly doesn't exist.

"What! Then how are you even a shinobi in the first place!?" Hermione received a glare from the supposed kind Hyuga heiress, who was covering Naruto's ears, she blushed in apology.

It seemed Sai was in a more talkative mood and answered. "There are many ways to become a shinobi, the academy is just one of those ways. In the nation's only the five great villages possess an academy, while other countries try to imitate us."

"Yeah , but don't be fooled, the ninja academy is very hard to graduate, though Hinata was Kunoichi of the year when we graduated." Kiba boasted for his teammate who blushed.

"Naruto must be a prodigy if he graduated in a single year." Narcissa was interested in how Kushina's son lived growing up.

"Naruto-kun cheated on his final-'' Before he could say anymore a toe was shoved between his lips. Sai paused for a second before closing his eyes and began to suck on said toe. He licked up and down each toe and even in between them lovingly. After each toe was thoroughly sucked on, his tongue traveled down the foot and around the heel and back up. The others were all red faced as they wanted Sai practically snogg Naruto's foot. Daphne had steam coming from her and fainted with a smile and a bit of blood on her nose. Just as Sai's tongue darted between the toes again, they clenched snagging his tongue in a tight grip. The foot then was yanked away from Sai's face taking his tongue, esophagus, and his innards following after it. Everyone screamed for a minute before the body and the mess turned into ink and flowed towards a dark corner where Sai appeared.

Naruto sat up from Hinata's lap and rubbed his eye's sleepy, "Sai-kun your too loud." he whined.

"Ara ara, you really shouldn't try to distract others from the fact you are cheating." He smiled as Naruto crossed his arms, puffed out his cheeks and turned his red face away from everyone mumbling about not his fault. Before Hermione could start her rant, Sai looked at her, making her pause, "yes, why else would he have pulled it off, especially when the sensei was actively sabotaging your education?"

"What!? How could an educator sabotage one of their own students' education?" Hermione was freaking out, that wasn't right, though Naruto cheating wasn't either.

Flashback

"You fail!"

"Come on Mizuki-sensei, just because he didn't get the clone jutsu right, I mean it is pretty useless in a fight."

"Doesn't matter!"

"Did you see his transformation jutsu, it was a solid transformation! He completely rewrote that whole jutsu. And he performed the kimawari jutsu in rapid successions faster than anyone I've seen performing that jutsu and you can't deny the usefulness of that jutsu."

"Look Iruka, right now you're just an assistant sensei and next year you will be taking on a whole class of your own. You can't afford to be lenient on your students. We teach them these jutsu to help thim form a base for personalised jutsu's in the future. I can't allow a mere six year old to slip by and get himself killed because he couldn't perform a jutsu. How would you feel if you had to watch a student die because you didn't teach them right?" Iruks looked down, he knew Mizuki-sensei was right, looking towards a sullen blonde six year old. He looked so sad, small drops were at the corner of his eyes, but he did everything in his power to hold them back. He wanted to rush to the child and hold him and tell him everything would be alright, he has another five years in the academy.

"I'm sorry Naruto-kun, but Mizuki-sensei is right….. You fail." His heart broke as he watched the little blond ball of sunshine that always brightened up his day, run out the room with his head down covering his eyes.

"You did the right thing Iruka." Mizuki walked up patting him on the shoulder.

"Did I?" Iruka never noticed the smile forming on Mizuki's face.

"H.. Hey Naruto close your eyes for a moment." Iruka coughed a bit, sending blood flying from his lips. He'd taken a large shuriken to the back, courtesy of Mizuki-sensei. He apparently convinced Naruto-kun to sneak into the Hokage tower and steal the forbidden scroll, learn a jutsu and bring the scroll to Mizuki. What astonished him most wasn't the fact Naruto beat Mizuki-sensei, he was strategic and unpredictable, a very deadly combination. Smiling he finished, "now open your eyes."

Opening his eyes Naruto looked up at him holding his forehead, or the thing covering it. "Congratulations on passing the shinobi academy in record time Naruto-kun." Iruka said missing his own headband, but with a huge smile on his face. Teary eyed Naruto hugged him tight with tears coming down his face."

End of Flashback

"And when we went to deliver the traitor to the Hokage, there was a flash and I may have used accidental magic to turn him into an ugly goldfish that jiji decided to keep as a creepy pet." They were flabbergasted by his story. A child like him taking on what is considered a fully trained assassin and win? Before anyone could speak up, Sai had turned to naruto and held up five round shape lollipops. Each was a different color ranging from yellow to black, though they noticed specks of black spots in each of the colored candy.

"Unfortunately I didn't bring enough for the full year, but I think we can stretch these out, pick one?" as Naruto narrowed his eyes at the pops, he finally decided on the blue one.

As Naruto sucked on his treat, Sai patted the top of his head. "What are those, can I have one?" Ron asked, only to be scolded by Mrs. Weasley about manners.

"Sorry, but these are ninja only candy, wouldn't want to accidentally kill someone." He smiled at them, yup still creepy.

Crunch

Sai turned to Naruto, "That's cheating Naruto-kun, no biting." It didn't really matter whether he did or not, he just enjoyed watching him when the effects kicked in.

"What do you mean by not accidentally killing?" Hermione asked hesitantly for everyone.

"Ninja."

Slap

"You know beaver-chan, if you ever hope to pass the class, you're going to need to learn to stop that habit." Sai said, turning to Naruto watching as a bit of steam poured off him and he stretched leisurely letting out a small mew~, this caused many in the room to grow small red spots on their cheeks. Sai crawled onto the bench and hovered over him leaning close. "Ready to play?"

"Mew~ why do you always use that one in every game." Naruto whined as he placed a hand on his chest and slowly pushed him off.

"Because I like what it does to you Naruto-kun."

"Umm what's goin on?" Tonks asked, confused.

"Ninja."

Slap

"What?"

"Ninja."

Slap

"One more time?"

"Noo!" Hermione yelled. "They're playing a game called ninja. It is highly absurde that ninjas are playing ninja. Is that the only game you guys ever play." her rant continued on about naming a game ninja when those who were playing were themselves ninja.

Naruto seemed to have ignored her in favor of turning around on his hands and knees on the bench and facing Hinata, who was blushing madly. "Troublesome, I'm starting to regret our deal now. Ninja is not just a game we play, it is also training, what you see as a fun activity, which it is, we use it as a training exercise. For example, tag is training in capturing and evading and so on, when you become a shinobi, it is less about what the name of the game is and more about making ground rules. The more elite shinobi sometimes play much more dangerous games with the rule of no killing."

"My my lazy-kun you're quite talkative, more than usual." Sai pitched in earning him a glare from the lazy ninja.

"So you wouldn't mind letting the rest of us in on the game?"

By this time Naruto and Hinata were face to face, Hinata was as red as a weasley, but she couldn't keep the smile off her face. Naruto was inching closer and closer as she prepared to be kissed in front of everyone when Sai interrupted her moment. "Not her Naruto-kun, too easy." that earned him the infamous Hyuga glare from Hinata and a sultry pout from Naruto looking over his shoulder. "Naruto-kun was administered a small dose of a lethal aphrodisiac, in order to win he has to not only fight off the poison in his system, but must seduce as many people as he can before the effects wear off or he succumbs to the poison. He will lose if he allows himself to be undressed or seduced himself." This explanation horrified everyone.

"What are you thinking!" Molly Weasley screeched.

"Ninja." was her only answer. Harry and Ron both looked at Hermione who didn't react to the word.

Blinking, she looked at them both. "What, their training to become immune to poisons. I read that once a ninja reaches a certain rank, it is suggested they train themselves to resist most common poisons using their chakra, they don't have access to a bezoar."

"Of course you did." Harry smiled, he'd seen Naruto continuously supply her books throughout the summer in order to course her into doing things she normally would never normally agree to.

Naruto moved on to his next target sitting next to Hinata, Pansy, who was already red in the face. Crawling over Hinata, he made sure to rub against her as he passed making her blush deeper and she let out a small moan as he did. Naruto was now face to face with Pansy.

Pansy's mind blanked as Naruto moved closer before incirculating her in his arms. Her face reddened more as Naruto gave her a heart throbbing smile before moving closer. She could feel his breath on her lips, her eyes were still locked onto his as his slightly glazed blue eyes sucked her in. letting out a small "eep" as his lips had barely brushed against her and her eyes rolled up and she fainted.

"Point." Sai

"What!? He didn't do anything to her yet, how does that count?" Tonks asked, though she was sporting a blush and her hair reflected that by turning pink.

'Bad move, giggle', "She reacted to him, it counts, and by the way I am still confused on how Naruto is so attracted to pink."

"What?" before Tonks said anymore she ended up meeting Naruto's gaze. She seemed to be drawn into them, how eyes could be so blue, and how she could let a 12 year old make her heart beat rapidly? He sat across from her in between Hinata and the unconscious Pansy, he looked so inviting and as he stood up to walk across the aisle, which was only five steps, but every step he took towards her did funny things to her.

First step- she caught her breath.

Second step- her heart gave a jerk towards him.

Third step- her breathing became rapid.

Fourth and fifth- her hair deepend to a darker pink.

She gulped as Naruto straddled her lap, he hugged her making her stiffen, wondering what he's going to do. Naruto just hugged her and gazed up at her with a smile, the whole time never leaving her gaze. "H- Hey buddy." she stammered.

"You know Dora-nee, you are so beautiful and have such a great body I'm surprised you hide it under the baggy clothes. You should really show it off more often, not only will you be even more beautiful, but in combat you could easily distract any opponent." The entire time he spoke his hands ran all over her back, before he slid a single finger up her spine making her let out a small moan, up her neck and into her pink hair. He gave a quick tug, not enough to hurt, but enough to make her tilt her head upwords breaking eye contact at last.

Turning his head to the right Naruto smiled at Hermione, who sported a beep blush on her cheeks. "Ya-know Mion-chan, I talked with the headmaster and he gave me permission to claim one of the unused classrooms as a study room. Perhaps we could study sometime together, there's still a few things I'd like to research." Hermione caught her breath, he wanted to do research together just like her dream. Her eyes seemed to glaze at the prospect of everything she could learn just by helping Naruto. As Naruto slid a hand back down Tonk's back before letting go of her hair and patting Hermione with it. As Tonk's head rolled forward, it looked like she was out, Hermione closed her eyes with a smile looking forward to their study group, soon enough she was out cold.

There was a small "eep" from his left and turned to see Ginny out as well. "Double points, plus triple multiplier for getting all three at once."

"How did that work and how many points is he at?" Fred asked, this was getting exciting, perhaps he would pass the knowledge onto Gred and him.

"He received two points for beaver-chan and toy-chan, another point for yandere-chan, and because he didn't even have to touch yandere-chan, he multiplies his points by three since they all went down at the same time, which brings his total to 12 points." After Sai's explanation, the twins shared a look before grinning and turning back to Sai.

"And what if our dear friend?" Fred

"Would happen if?" George

"He was seduced by a tag team?" the both asked grinning bigger. They sat next to Ginny watching their poor sister emite steam from her head, they swore she glanced at Harry for a moment before she passed out.

"Oh, a challenge then. If he wins, he'll earn double points equal to his current points not including what he already earned." Sai smiled as he watched Naruto slid off of Toy-chan and started to crawl over Yandere-chan and climbed into the lap of the first twin and smiled up at him. The first twin smiled back at Naruto, but seemed nervous. Naruto sat in his lap for a good minute before moving to straddling his right leg while moving to the second twin's left leg and straddled a leg from each twin and his smile grew sultry.

Red faced neither moved for a minute and Naruto just sat there smiling invitingly, even going so far as to grind just a little on their lapps letting out small noise making them match their hair color. "W-w-w-why don't he go first brother, are you scared?" the second twin spoke to the first.

"Big talk, why don't you go first?"

"I asked first."

"I thought you were a gryffindor where'd all that courage go?" they continued to argue who would go first as Naruto slid off onto the bench as the first twin tackled the second onto the floor and rolled around.

"Fred George, knock this behavior off Now!" Mrs, Weasley yelled as she stunned both to break off the fighting and knock them out.

"24 points." Sai announced. "You are now at 36 points Naruto-kun."

Percy couldn't help but laugh at their misfortune. In a way it was a kind of justice for putting through year after year of frustration dealing with them at Hogwarts. His train of thought was halted as a pair of feet landed in his lap. He turned to see Uzumaki sitting on his hands so casually before making eye contact and lifting a delicate blonde eyebrow. It just occurred to him as Uzumaki slowly slipped into his lap, he never noticed how feminine he was under his school robes. Frowning down at him in order to hide his unease, "I would rather not play." All he got in response was a wider smile.

"So Percy I heard you wanted to work in the ministry after graduation. Ooh are you going to try for the minister's position, you could totally do it, ya know! Perhaps Mr. Malfoy could apprentice you on the inner workings and how to navigate the political circles you would need to as the minister of magic, ya know. I mean his chance of holding anything but a seat on the board of governors and a seat on the wizengamot, are zip. You're the top of your class and head boy, I wouldn't see why he wouldn't agree."

"Really, you think so !?" Percy asked excitedly. The more excited Naruto got at helping him plan his campaign as minister, but Lucious Malfoy, some known to move in powerful circles if not out right leads them, the only black spot on this was the suspicion of him being a death eater, Lucious himself started choking.

"Umm Percy." Naruto's suddenly shy voice had him look down at him again, he had a red blush and was scratching his whiskerd cheeks.

"What's wong?" he asked worriedly.

"Can you move your hands please?" looking down Percy found that his hands had found their way to Naruto's rear cheeks. He gave an involuntary squeeze causing Naruto to moan out and press firmly against him, his last thought before everything went black was that no boy should have that nice of a butt.

"Point."

Charlie was next in line, but he kept laughing at his younger siblings mishaps. As Naruto slid into his lap, he grinned down at the little menace and made the first move. He wrapped an arm around and pulled him closer. Charlie was always a ladies man, and as a dragon tamer, they were always kept interested, his mother constantly got on him about his various lady friends. "Well little snake, lets see if you can take on a true lion?" He winked.

Naruto turned to look to his right, "Rooon, is this the brother that works with dragons?" Ron gulped as Naruto's attention focused on him. He only nodded, but caught his breath as a smile lit up Naruto's face. So caught up with the look of happiness on his face, he forgot to breathe and quickly passed out into Hermione waking her up and pushing him off her. The slytherin side seemed to enjoy the show, laughing as Naruto goes through the entire Weasley clan.

Turning back to Charlie, Naruto's smile widened. "What is your favorite type of dragon? Will you teach me how to tame dragons, ooo oo can I have a dragon?" as he went on and on asking about dragons, he was showing his age now in his excitement. As this was going on Charlie felt a small tingle in his chest from where Naruto was slowly stroking his chest continuously.

The smallest hint of red graced his cheeks as he tried to answer his question, it didn't even look like he was trying anything with him. "U-u- umm I guess I could, b- but I do have to be prepared for the shinobi classes." the pout on the cute snake melted his heart and reddened his face a bit more.

Naruto leaned into him and wrapped his arms around his neck and leaned in close to whisper. "Can you take me for a ride on your dragon?" it was asked in a sultry voice, that did it as lewd thoughts ran through Charlie's mind and he blacked out with just a tad shade of red under his nose.

"Point."

As Bill eyed him as Naruto slipped into his lap and they had a stare off.

Giggle

Bill jerked back, knocking his head on the windowsill hard enough to knock himself out.

"Point."

Molly was just rubbing the back of Bill's head to make sure he didn't seriously hurt himself, once she was satisfied, she turned to the smiling culprit currently sitting in her lap. She smiled at him, "now Naruto, I'm a happily married woman, don't try any funny business now."

"Ok Molly-baa-san." Naruto chirped as he threw his arms around her and buried his face into her shoulder, he gave a little shutter as a waif of steam came off of him.

"What was that?" Molly asked as she ran her hand through Naruto's hair, she was astonished at how soft and warm his hair was, it was like running her hand through warm sunlight.

"Game over, I told you not to bite Naruto-kun, the effects don't last as long."

"Remind me never to play ninja with him." Theo laughed with the others, he gulped when Sai's creepy smile turned on him.

"But Bondoge-kun, you already are." This didn't comfort those still awake or those becoming aware of their surroundings again.

Naruto's body started shivering and Molly felt his hands squeeze tighter and his head borrowing further into the crook of her shoulder. "Naruto dear what's wrong?" She asked worried as she brought him into a tighter hold. She looked over to the dark haired young man sitting next to a worried looking Hinata. "Is this an effect from the sucker you gave him. The young man Sai started at Naruto's shiving form with a blank expression. He tilted his head to the side just as Naruto does sometimes when he was in thought.

The door to their cart shuddered three times as if something was knocking on it hard. Everyone jumped and stared at the door with the exception of Naruto who was wrapped around Molly Weasley and Sai who only stood up and walked to the door. Before opening he turned towards Molly who was busy fussing over a shiving Naruto. He studied Naruto for a moment, even when shivering and holding onto the obese woman, he was ready to bolt or attack depending on how Sai handled it, this mad him tingle a little. So without further ado he opened the door to stare at the six individuals on the other side.

The first one he noticed was the nervous conductor standing up front, by the sound of the knocking, he wasn't the one to do so, he looked like a pushover. Turning to his right and up, he spotted a tall woman whose head was cut off by the door frame, she wore bright purples and blue robe with fake fur lining it, she stood hunched because of the space around her, she was most likely the one knocking, he idly remembered that this was the headmistress of Beauxbaton madam Maxime. To his left stood a scraggly looking man with a pointed beard. Sai instantly pegged him as a follower and a rat, wondering how he became headmaster of Dumstrang, Igor Karkaroff. Stepping through the door and closing it behind him, he turned to them and waited.

No one said anything for a while, which gave him more time to study the last three younger members of the group. The only male, who he faintly recognized from Diagon alley, Victor Krum, fifth year at Durmstrang, seems to be growing in popularity and the headmaster seems to be dotting on him, interesting. The boy seemed to have a stone face on, but Sai picked up on his supressed shyness and nervousness. The next one in the middle and the youngest was a blond blue eyed girl, she looked the same age as Yandere-chan, but seemed to just smile at everyone, including him, much to his confusion. Even if he dismissed her as a possible threat, he would keep an eye on her, possibly Naruto-kun might want another adopted little sister.

He always wonders why Naruto-kun wanted a large family when he already has Stalker-chan and him, why the need for others? The second child of the Hyuga clan and the Hokage's grandson Konohamaru weren't spared either, Naruto had declared that any and all younger siblings of his precious people would immediately be adopted by him as one of his precious younger siblings he could dote on, with this baka-kun and Doll-chan were ahead of their classes.

The last of the three was the anomaly, she looked to be an older version of the younger one, but around the same age as Krum, meaning either she was raped, impregnated and gave birth, or their sisters, he's more inclined towards the first one if he had to guest. She was also the one he sensed performing some kind of genjutsu. This must be the person that was disrupting Naruto's sensory, it explained his reaction to her presence. Naruto was an extremely powerful sensor ninja, thanks to various events that shaped him. Naruto was powerful enough to sense people's emotions and intent. He still wondered if Naruto could also manipulate others emotions as well, but he had yet to receive an answer for it.

Mmm, they seem to be here to try and grovel at Naruto-kun's feet and intend to showcase their prized students, predictable. He can't have that happening now, can he? The first one he turned to was the conductor, "you know conductor-san, that in the elemental nations, if a servant brings uninvited guests, or strangers into their master's presence without permission, they would be punished if not outright killed for endangering their lord." the conductor's face paled as he took steps backwards before bolting down the corridor tripping over himself.

Karkaroff let out a bark of laughter as Maxime narrowed her eyes at him. "That waz not very polite to do young man?" The tall women spoke up.

"Ha that vas entertaining though no?" Karkaroff spoke, controlling his chuckle, it just earned him a glare.

"I was only stating a fact for him since he seemed to be lacking in the proper protocols." Sai then turned to the oldest of the two blondes. "You know if you wanted to be gangbanged that much, there are carts full of males who I'm sure will help scratch your itch." Both the giant woman Maxiem and the blond both snarled at him, the blond had blue wisps of flame dance around her fingers. She didn't seem to be aware of the action.

"Young man, Zat is no way to speak to someone, Fluer is a great student at the top of her class." Maxiem ranted at him while Karkaroff and Victor studied the blond as she studied the three of them with narrowed eyes. After the insult he had just thrown her way, she wanted to burn him alive. After Maxiem finished the girl herself spoke up.

"Who are 'ou to judge, what you sense is my allure. It iz defence for us part Veela."

"We zould report to Dumblededore about your behaviour 'oung man, wats your name?" Maxima demanded, no way was this abraxane turd get away with insulting her charge. "I alzo demand you 'apologize zo Fleur az well." The giant of a woman berated him continuously as the blond Fluer was taking deep breaths as her younger sister held her hand. He took notice of silvery feathers on her arm before they disappeared, it seemed he was the only witness to the small event.

Hummm, "you know it is highly rude to ask for someone's name before introducing yourself first."

"Poligies, Headmaster of Drumstrang Igor Karkaroff, this here is Victor Krum, my star pupil."

"Is it natural to play favorites with your students?" Sai asked before turning to Victor, "it is nice to meet you Mute-kun."

"I'm not mute?" Victor said confused.

"Ah I just assumed since your clearly biased headmaster has been speaking for you since we met in Diagon Alley." With that Sai turned to Maxim with his creepy smile. "Will you be introducing slutty-chan and her younger sister for them, halfbreed-san?" The headmistress' head went red in rage, while Fleur's hand lit in blue flame, this time the two wizards noticed and took a step back.

Gritting her teeth which could be heard by all, "lizzin up you little Tyke, I am Olympe Maxime headmistress of Beauxbaton." Her french accent got thicker as she growled her answer followed by Fleur, though Gabrielle did give a hesitant smile before ducking behind her sister. "May we please have your name?"

Humm options options, to be quite honest he expected them to leave in a fury, now you must give up information. Hummm, "it is nice to meet you. I'm Harry Potter. Now if you wouldn't mind, you are disrupting myself and my friend Naruto Uzumaki." with that he entered the cart and slammed the door in their faces.

"Who was that Sai?" Harry asked when he spotted him entering.

"Just some insignificant little critters interrupting our fun and wanting to speak with dickless-kun.

"By the way, why do you keep calling Naruto dickless all the time?"

"It is a nickname."

"I understand, but why do you call him dickless?"

Flashback

Sai stalked the halls of the backstage of the arena. The new rapidly famous idol Naruko-chan had just finished up one of her concerts. He had to travel from Konoha all the way to the land of Ramn. It was a new country that popped up after the prince of the land of noodles fell in love with the princess of the land of broth. The two countries were constantly at each other's throats. According to reports, they met at one of Naruko-chans concerts and stood up to their parents and married. He was to investigate this Naruko-chan and report, and he thought he would get her autograph for Naruto-kuns return to Konoha from his year long trip with Lord Jiriaya.

He had already taken out the two guards guarding the backstage entrance, he stuffed the bodies in an isolated utility closet. He kept to the shadows on the ceiling pasta at the intersection pressing himself closer into the shadows as he spotted two large figures standing guard in front of his goal. They weren't Shinobi so with two super flicks of his wrist I went down like a sack of potatoes. This was it, taking out a small scroll in a pen and placing it in one hand, he used his free hand to twist the doorknob. Locked.

Pressing his ear up to the door he tried to listen for any movement inside. He heard water running, meaning that most likely Naruko-Chan was in her shower. That was good, it gave him time to pick the lock and entered silently. Once the door was closed, he unsealed some bouquet of flowers and placed it on the coffee table. He decided to wait for Naruko-Chan to finish her shower. He sat in a chair and studied the room. It was sparse with a couch and chair, which he was sitting on and a table. In the corner was her shimmering blue kamoto with an orange sash. He saw her in it not too long ago during her performance.

Soon you heard the shower turn off and then a second later the sound feet slapping across the floor reached his ears. He got himself up and was ready to introduce himself as Naruto said it was polite to do so. The bathroom door open letting steam pool at the floor, Sai was quite taking back at the site before him. Standing there with a towel wrapped around his waist was that other than Naruto, who looked back at him in confusion before smiling. "Hey Sai, how did you enjoy the show?"

He could tell he surprised him, but Naruto was able to recover himself and act as if he knew he was there, Sai started to smile. "I wanted to get you an autograph when you return to the village. If you wouldn't mind… Dickless." He smiled now holding up the scroll and pen.

Flashback ends

When the train pulled into the station Draco never got his answer. As they all stood up It was Blaze who noticed the change in the room. "Umm, mrs. Weasley, when did you pick up Potter?" It was then probably noticed that the mop of blonde hair was replaced with black and blazing blue eyes replaced with emerald green. Harry lifted his head while Molly and he stared at each other in confusion, he had never been held before or given any kindness when he was younger. It felt nice, warm, comforting and protective. His eyes slowly drifted to close, his head laid on her shoulder and he was out.

"Point." Sai announced as they left.

"What?" Was the general question. Sai only smiled, deciding to give them this one. "Naruto-kun ran ahead to avoid the large crowd outside the train that will most likely ambush him when he leaves the train. He switched with Harry in Molly-san's arms to help shield him from the crowd as well, he is just as famous as Dickless." Lucius was surprised by the tactics Naruto used, it was quite slytherin of him.

" 'irst yers and first time guess', this way!" A voice boomed across the crowd. Hagrid waved the lantern signaling where to look.

"Well we'll see you six at the feast, go ahead with mr. Hagrid, the first time seeing Hogwarts should be spectacular!" Molly guided over to the first years and the guests from the other schools. Harry had snuck off as the rest went to the carriages.

The five genin and Sai followed the rest down to the lake's shower where there were small boats ready to take them across. "Alright five to ah boat, we got some bigger boats to take the lot of you." Hagrid smile guestering them to board. As the five gennin headed towards one, they were stopped as Sai stood in front of them with his eyes closed and that smile on his face.

"Um Sai can you move so we can go?" Choji asked.

"Unfortunately for you, your sensei for the year has decided to start the year off with simple chakra control exercises."

" What, wait, who's your sensei?" Kiba asked, it could be Iruka-sensei, but he was a chunin, he didn't have the credentials to take on gennin. As Kiba yelled, attracting the attention of those around them, it finally hit Shikamaru, and now the other show hit the floor.

"Shit it's Naruto." The other four snapped their heads to him in fear, and both Kiba and Choji remembered the study sessions that they were forced to go through. Apparently their parents had commissioned a d-ranked mission that Naruto's sensei had accepted on his behalf. Naruto tended to take his frustration out on his work. As a shinobi that was encouraged, to a degree and Naruto breaks that three times over, Hinata wasn't spared either, Naruto promised to make her strong like she wanted and she had to bribe him with ramen if he didn't go all out on her, missions were different.

"I didn't know Naruto could be a professor?" Hagrid asked

"A chunin is only qualified to teach academy students until they graduate, once they do a jonin takes over as a sensei and guide them through their career as a shinobi and form familiar bonds. Shinobi sensei are held in the highest regard, sometimes more so than the Hokage. With only Naruto-kun and myself being of proper rank, Naruto gave your senseis a romantic getaway in the land of love. They will be there for the fatted festival for lovers."

"I didn't know Asuma-sensei was seeing Kurenai- sensei?" Choji asked Shikamaru.

Shikamaru couldn't even give the effort to say troublesome, so he just gave a large sigh, which he just knew he would be doing all year, a deal with Naruto was never straightforward, Naruto was Shinobi twenty four seven and could outpace the energizer bunny, which he did, he still couldn't figure out how that happened. "Guys, it's inevitable, we might as well learn what we can. What does Naruto want us to do?"

Sai smiled, " he decided to start off with a simple chakra control exercise." Before he continued, there were groans from the shinobi.

"What's wrong?" Ginny asked them as she made her way to the front of the crowd to watch.

"We better make this quick like if we're to make it to the feast on time." Hagrid told them as he gestured for the rest to board.

"Feast?" Choji perked up and began to salivate.

Sai smiled wider, "his instructions were clear, if you wish to join the rest for the feast, you simply have to walk across the lake to the castle without assistance from a boat or other living beings."

"Can you give us a demonstration?" Shikamaru smirked, if he didn't show they might weasel out of this. Next to him Ginny sneezed. As the crowd grew closer, Sai simply turned towards the black lake and walked towards it. He reached the shore, but didn't slow down, his next step touched the surface of the water and went no further. He continued on with his hands in his pockets and walked across the lake as if he were strolling on a dirt road, they soon lost sight of him in the mist.

"It's just around the bend!" Hagrid shouted, hopefully he heard him. "A'right I guess we'll see you lot at the feast, forward!" The boats moved on, soon disappearing from sight.

"We need to hurry or all the food will be gone." Choji said in a panic rushing towards the lake. Choji wasn't as stupide as many of his peers may think. It was similar to the tree walking exercise Asuma-sensei had them do before coming here. Pushing chakra towards his feet, he was able to stay on the surface for at least five steps before plunging into the cold water. "Cold cold cold." He shivered as he walked out and back onto dry land.

"Nice try man, but now let me show you how it's done." Kiba took his turn and ran towards the lake. He pushed as much chakra as he could and ended up launching himself through the air. He got some good distance, once he started coming down towards the water again, he tried the same trick. He unfortunately slid across the surface, cool as it was, he dropped as soon as his momentum was slowed.

Once he made his way back to shore shivering, Shino walked up next. Thanks to his bug allies, they continued to buzz to him , helping him walk across the surface. "Instead of a continuous flow like walking on a tree, you must fluctuate your chakra to stay above the ripples and waves." he gave them more tips as his allies helped him. Soon they were making progress, just as they reached the bend that Hagrid told to watch for, Shino froze as he felt something big swim by underneath him.

"What's wrong with Shino-kun?" Hinata asked, coming up behind them. It was then that something sucked Shino underwater.

Everyone's eyes widened, "holy sage balls what just got Shino!?" Kiba nearly lost concentration and fell in if Hinata didn't catch him in time.

"This got more troublesome, let's retreat and come up with a plan."

"We can't leave Shino!" Kiba shouted to him.

"We can't help him if we don't know what we're up against. Remember that this is Naruto's training." That shut Kiba up,before they could back up seven paces a group of something small that looked like a mix of octopus and angler fish swarmed Hinata and took her under water. "MOVE!" Shikamaru shouted as he took out two kunais ready for battle.

Hogwarts

The group of returning students and former students made their way to the great hall, as the doors opened they were greeted with the sight at the head table. In his throne-like chair sat the headmaster smiling in his shimmering purple robes he likes to wear, he was gesturing them in. "Come on in and take a seat while we wait for our first years and guests. I would ask our previous students to sit further back as this is a school after all. At least until all announcements have been made.'' With that said he sat back down and turned to continue his conversation with Iruka, who was sitting on his right side as the guest of honor.

Sitting in his lap was Naruto in his school robes, but he was wearing Dumbledore's goofy looking hat. The three of them seemed to be in a cheerful conversation. The chair to Dumbledore's left was empty where deputy headmistress Macganogal would usually be seated, but she was mysteriously missing. After that Severus Snape sat next to the empty chair, still wearing his patient scowl. Next to him was Gildery Lockheart? He must have been hired for the position of defence professor, he was talking animatedly waving his arms around trying to garner the attention of the whole table, poor Snape and Flickwick were stuck being seated next to him. Taking their seats before chattering. Naruto was sent off to his house table, but not before being told to return the headmaster's hat.

"What were you talking to the headmaster about whiskers?" Pansy asked as they all took their usual seatings, with Naruto between the girls and Draco sitting across from him with Theo and Blaise to his right and Cabbe and Goyle to his left.

Naruto blushed as he stared at the table top. "He wanted me to sign a behavior contract."

They couldn't help but laugh at that, some families do that when their children get out of hand, it was sort of like a bribe, the child did get a reward for good behavior after all. "What did you do to earn that?" Theo asked.

"There were…. Incidents last year, and Dumble-oji-san wanted to cover all his bases so it wouldn't happen again this year." more laughter.

"What did you get out of it at least?" this time coming from Goyle.

Naruto just beamed at them with his eyes closed, but before he could answer the doors opened gaining everyone's attention. They were expecting professor Macgonagle to be rushing in, or the first years and their forign guests. Instead a single figure walked easily recognizable by his emotionless eyes and creepy smile. "Sai-dear, where's everyone else?" Molly, who was sitting close to the door, asked him.

"I seem to be ahead of them, they should catch up any minute by now." Before further talk they heard the hurried clack of heels. Coming through the doors was a disheveled missing professor Macgonagal. She was tucking her hair up into her hat and straightened her robes.

"I apologize for being tardy, I had to run last minute errands in the alley and it ran later than usual." she quickly said, coming up to stand by the sorting hat.

"That's all right Minerva, though out of curiosity why are you wearing the same robes as yesterday when you left for the alley?" Dumbledore asked innocently, though he was quiet enough for only her to hear. She froze with wide eyes, he knew and he was reprimanding her. She wasn't a student anymore where he had to constantly give her detention for inappropriate behavior to the point he tutorted her in transfiguration. She bowed her head and turned back to face the doors.

Finally they opened and the throng of foreign guests and the new first years entered the great hall, though once again the genin were absent. Dumbledore stood from his throne-like chair to address the great hall. "Welcome back students, new and old, and I would like to welcome our brother and sister schools as well. Seeing as we will be sharing classes and living spaces, in the spirit of cooperation we will be sorting all of the new guests into each of the houses." The headmaster sat down and gestured for Mcgonagall to begin.

"Aburame Shino." Mcgonagall called out, there was silence as everyone wondered where the missing ninja went. A large figure crashed through the giant windows behind the staff table, Snape reacted fast and shielded everyone. The figure landed causing a minuteur quake, at first they all thought it was a giant, before it started to shrink until it was the size of a big boned twelve year old with brown hair and swirls on each cheek. Following him was a giant voracious white and brown wolf came through the broken window carrying it's owner and his female teammate. Behind them was a buzzing swarm of insects, riding that swarm was a trench coat genin wearing sunglasses. As they all landed, the shadow they created weavered for a moment before another figure was tossed out, unlike the others this person rolled a little ways before coming to a stop on his back. While the others were wide awake, bruised, cut, drenched, ready to fight and in desperate need of a change of clothes, he was all those things except he was passed out snoring.

When the giant white and brown wolf shrank back into his puppy form, the great hall lit up in chatter on what they just witnessed. Dumbledore clapped and smiled, "A marvelous entrance, I wish we'd of thought of doing something like that, but it was dismissed, perhaps next time." he commented to Snape and Minierva.

"I see you have finally finished the simple exercise." Sai said walking up and joining them. This received him a glare from them, even gentle Choji looked ready to smash him into the ground.

Kiba had lost it, "You call that simple!? That giant squid swallowed us whole several times, not only that, don't think we didn't figure out those traps you set you sick sadistic bastard!"

"I'm not responsible for your training, besides if you can't handle a simple exercise, how will you survive the year?"

"Kiba!" Iruka erupted, his head grew to the size of Hagrid when he spoke. "Watch your language." Kiba was immediately cowed and shut up. Turning to the headmaster he gave a slight bow. "I'm sorry for that." he rubbed the scare on his nose.

"That's ok professor Umino, I must say that their entrance was quite interesting." The headmaster just smiled with a twinkle, and Iruka swore that expression was familiar. "Now that everyone is in attendance, let the sorting begin. '' he swept his hand towards Minerva.

Sorting

"Aburame Shino." As the deputy headmistress placed the sorting hat on, it started spewing out house names at a rate they had never seen before. "RavenclawSlytherinGyriffindoreHufflepuffHufflepuffRavenclawRavenclawGryffindoreSlytherinRavenclaw, Damn women slow down I can't keep up at this pace!" it finally lost it after the seven hundredth one. Macgonagall just looked down at it with a shock expression, though the rest of the hall looked on with interest, this was the first time the hat had spoken out besides sorting each student. Many thought that it's only function was sortin and had no separate thought of its own.

"We're still on the first student." Macgonagall answered it in her shocked state. The hat looked confused as it peeked below it's lip to Shino.

"Uh Ravenclaw?" it really was hard to tell with all the minds speaking up at once. Shino lifts off the hat and walks towards the table that seemed to be cheering for him.

"Akimichi Choji." Just as the hat was placed on his head, a large gurgle sound came from the hat.

Blinking the hat turned back to Mcgonagall, "that's a new sensation, good things there's a feast, do you think they'll serve a few dumplings?"

"We can have the house elves bring you something, right now we need these people sorted."

"Ok ok, don't have to be so prissy, he is of course headed to Hufflepuff!"

Mcgonagall looked ready to set him on fire, she decided to just continue on. "Fleur Delacour." She was sorted into Ravenclaw without incident. Minerva and the hat looked at each other once she was gone. "What, I'm sorting here, call the next one." She swore something was wrong with the sorting hat today, he's usually not this chatty.

As Fleur made her way to the blue set table, Sai stood in the line of young students and older guests waiting on being sorted. He could guess which houses the young genin would go to. He watched Slutty-chan walk towards the blue table now called Ravenclaw on the other side away from the Slytherin table which Naruto was sorted into. Looking towards said table, he could see Naruto's head bowed slightly so that his hair covered his eyes, and he was squirming a little, he must still be able to sense her allure.

"What's wrong Whiskers?" Pansy asked worried once she saw him start squirming in his seat. This got the rest of their group to look over to notice.

Skipping others, "Hyuga Hinata." they all turned back as another of the shinobi stepped up to the stool. "Gryffindor!" the hat called out, but Minerva didn't remove the hat right off, instead she stared at it.

"What?" the hat asked, noticing her scrutiny.

"Inuzuka Kiba." Just as the wild looking ninja took a single step forward, the hat called out from so far away, "Gryffindor!"

"You haven't even been placed on his head yet, how else would you know which house he would fit into?" Mcgonagall scolded the hat, this was not going the way the traditional way of sorting was done.

"Oh come on, you could tell he belongs in gryffindor. That and I do remember being told to sort him into that house."

"Who told you that?" the deputy headmistress demanded, this hat was breaking tradition.

"Nevermind that, he also might have fleas, I didn't want to risk it." Mcgonagall looked over to said person scratching his head as he just shrugged and headed for her house table.

More students, "Krum Victor." Many were either disappointedly surprised or excited when the sorting hat placed him in Hufflepuff.

"Nara Shikamaru." Everyone looked towards the still sleeping genin, when Sai decided to be helpful.

"Don't hold up the line now lazyass." And without any remorse he kicked him up to the stool.

"Urge troublesome." Shikamaru mumbled, rubbing his side and sitting down. Just as the hat was placed on his head, both seemed to just fall asleep.

In Shikamaru's mind

The sorting hat sat there on a crisp green field with a single tree providing shade over a hilltop. There was a gentle breeze to keep cool in the heat, it wasn't over bearing, but a comfortable warmth. In the sky he could see clouds float by and every once in a while would change shape. Everything was so detailed that he could feel everything, and he was a hat to boot.

Looking to his right he stared at the very boy he was to sort. He laid there comfortable with his hands behind his back, he had one leg bent while one was straight and his eyes were closed. The light from the sun that radiates warmth only came up to waist level while the tree's shade protected his eyes from the light.

Looking around again, the sorting hat's gaze landed back on the young man. "Sooo, you're thinking about a nap?"

Wake up

The sorting hat snorted awake and looked up at Mcgonagall. "Uh what?"

"You fell asleep in the middle of the sorting ceremony, what is wrong with you, are your enchantments coming apart?" her face was red and fuming, they were being embarrassed in front of their brother and sister schools.

"I will have you know, that I was not sleeping, I was just trying to find the right house to sort him into?" he trailed off the last part before yawning. "Ravenclaw."

The professore moved on before she did something to the hat she might regret. "Sai." She had a confused look as the last name seemed intentionally smeared.

30 min later

There were murmurs going around the tables, about some sort of stall, the sorting hat sat there waiting, wondering and hungry. He noticed the deputy headmistress taping her foot and had her lips pressed into a thin line. "Well, are we going to start the feast or are there any others I need to sort.

This earned him a glare. "We have been standing here waiting for you to sort the last student, now will you please?!" The headmaster put up a hand to help calm her down, but it seemed she was ready to light them both up.

This statement caused the sorting hat to blink, "what no there's not."

"Yes there is, you have been sitting on his head for the last thirty minuets. Many here are tired and hungry, so please take your time!" At this point Mcgonagall was becoming snappy and more irritated then Snap usually was.

If the hat could look sceptical, he did. Lifting his rim, he looked underneath and blinked. There was a boy under him, "uh, didn't I sort you all ready?"

Said boy had a blank expression and a creepy smile that shouldn't be there. "Not this time."

"Omunios aren't you, so which house do you want to be in?" Since he couldn't really dive into his mind he went with option two, let the kid pick.

"You can't do that! You're the sorting hat you're supposed to be the one to sort them!"

"Minerva, perhaps you should take a seat and rest." The headmaster suggested.

"But Albus?"

"Minerva." he said sternly. This seemed to cow her and she stayed silent.

When the sorting hat asked again, Sai simply pointed towards the green and silver clad table, or more likely directly at Naruto. "Whichever house dickless was sorted into."

"Slytherin." those you have met the young man weren't surprised by the sorting, but those in slytherin gave a grown. Walking over, Sai took the seat directly across from Naruto, after shoving Droco to the side earning a glare and a hiss from the blonde.

Once everyone was seated, the headmaster stood up. "A few announcements before the feast. First off, I would like to welcome you all back or for the first time to Hogwarts. We have an exciting year ahead of us, starting with our new defiance against the dark arts professor Gilderoy Lockheart." The room burst into cheers as said man stood up and smiled while waving to them, many women swooned at him. Smiling, the headmaster went on. "Yes yes, I would also like to introduce the professor who will be teaching a new class this year, Iruka Umino, he is a professor at the shinobi academy in Konoha." A man to the headmasters right stood to give a wave and a nervous smile. He had brown hair in a ponytail and a very noticeable scar across his nose. He wore a blue jumpsuit with a green flak jacket with many pockets. Quite a few magical families have noticed that the Uzumaki crest was sown onto the back.

"These classes will teach you the history and the culture of the elemental nations. I do however advise you to take these classes extremely seriously, should you sign up to take them. Shinobi are masters of their art and the skills they are willing to share with you will save your life one day." The Hall was silent, no one had ever seen the headmaster so serious, they always saw him as the cheerful old headmaster of the school. Some now remembered that even to this day Albus Dumbledore was the greatest wizard of his time. "The door at the end of the third corridor in the left wing is forbidden to all who," Those who were around last year groned. "Are not shinobi. It is for their use during their studies, sometimes a shinobi must keep his or her studies a secret. We are also blessed with hosting five different festivals directly from the elemental nations throughout the year." The students cheered and the adults nodded, smiling. "Now, let the feast begin." With a loud clap, food appeared all across the table, there was food from France and Bulgaria for their guests.

As everyone started in on their plates, Sai studied Naruto, who was still squirming a little while Pansy worried over him. "Come on Whiskers what's going on, you can tell me, I'll do my best to make it better."

"I see Slutty-chan is still affecting you, even from across the room." This gained him several sets of eyes.

"Who's…"

"Slutty-chan?" Sai pointed to one of the french school girls sitting at the ravenclaw table. "I met her on the train, she was the one who interrupted our game. She said she couldn't control her allure, because she is half creator or something."

"That explains the boys." Daphne gestured to Theo, Blaise, Draco, Goyol and Crebbe. "She must be part Veela then." Daphne spoke up. "They're known to lure men and eat them just like a succubus."

"She doesn't look like a succubus, besides they don't eat their prey." That comment broke the trance over everyone. Blinking, the boys stared at Sai.

"How would you know what a succubus looks like?" This came from Blaise, who slapped the back of Theo's head to get him to pay attention instead of looking at the pretty veela.

"That's because Naruto-kun has one in his harem."

"Wha… what!?" they all shouted in surprise. This gained the attention of some of the older slytherins. Soon there was some more shuffling and a crowd now surrounded the two for some good gossip.

"Hold up, are you telling us little Naruto here has a harem?" one of the quidditch players asked, the boys patted him on the back while the girls glared.

"Well, there is the kunoichi from the hidden waterfall village."

"Fu is more like a little sister." Naruto mumbled.

"Oh then what about Shizuka-chan from the Nadeshiko village?"

"What's the Nad- eshiko village?" another slytherin asked.

"It's an all Kunoichi only village, and any man found within their border is put to death on the spot. They pick their spouses by battling them and if they lose they submit to the stronger one and bear their children. If it is male, they send it out of the village with its father, and if female they keep them and raise them as a Kunoichi."

"And should the guy lose?" Theo asked nervously.

Turning to him Sai's smile grew creeper. "They are killed of course."

"So you're saying Naruto beat one of them and lost his virginity?" Flint asked ginning. This for some reason angers Pansy and Daphne both.

"She didn't become a kunoichi until a few years later, so it didn't really count." Naruto is still red.

"Then what about the high priestess of Demon country?"

"Shion has a whole country to run and priestesses things to do, she is far too busy and only wants my help to create a new priestess when the time comes." Naruto said this as if it was nothing, he actually liked Shion and considered her a friend and would help her with anything she needed. This comment of course left many of his fellow students slacked jawed.

" Yukie Fujikaze?" Naruto just bowed his head hiding half his face.

"Who's she?" Pansy asked, noticing Naruto's red face.

"She is a famous actress in the elemental nations. She has made many movies and is the Daimyo of the land of snow and spring. She's almost as popular as Naruko-chan, and." At this they leaned closer. "She currently holds the highest bid for Naruto-kun's virginity." There gasps and blushes, some of the boys hooted at Naruto.

"Are you saying that Whiskers is a paid prostitute? How much for his time?"Daphne asked giggling. Sai studied her for a second, before deciding that he liked her.

"Only those who join the S&I division are allowed to take such contracts."

Blinking, the group drew closer not believing what they were hearing. "Ooh, I didn't know Whiskers was into that sort of thing?" Daphne licked her lips as her stare turned to a red face Naruto. Those around chuckled, it was a rare occasion that they could tease Naruto, last year many learned that Naruto could out do even the Weasley twins by a rather large margin.

"Well beautiful-chan," At this Daphne blushed as Pansy scowled at him.

"Why does she get to be called that and yet you call me a horrible name."

"Well bitch-chan, I read that giving nicknames based on memorable attributes, take ferret-kun here." At this he gestured to Draco, who glared at him. "To answer your question, even though Naruto-kun does like it rough, it stands for seduction and Intelligence gathering division. Naruto-kun has been trained to please anyone, but when one signs up for the division, if they are a virgin, their virginities are sold to the highest bidder. The money from that goes to the shinobi with a small percentage going towards the village. When a request for a trained escort comes in, the ones selected come from this small pool of specialized ninja."

There were gasps and chuckles coming from the group around them. "Why would you join if they make you do stuff like that Naruto, I mean it sounds like a dream job pleasuring women all day." Flint and Pucy were glassy eyed about their fantasies. "You think you could introduce us to some of your friends?"Flint giggled blushing red.

"As long as you pay the fee, and he joined because he failed his exams to join Anko-san in the T&I department."

"What is going on down here?" Lucius asked followed by a few other adults. As he asked he was looking to his son for the answer. Laughing with the rest of the group Draco filled him in. "Who in their right mind trains a child to do that?"

"Naruto-kun was trained by lord Jiraiya, one of the legendary sannin. He took Naruto on a training trip throughout the elemental nations and visited every hot spring and brothel."

"Who in their right mind takes a child to a brothel, this Jiraiya sounds unsavory."

"Jiraiya is a self proclaimed super pervert and Naruto-kun was made his apprentice."

"Now we want to get back to that exam you failed Whiskers, what's the T&I department that you kept failing.

"Merlin Daph, that's a bit cruel." Theo taold here, even if he was interested as well.

"It stands for tortur and interrogation." Sai watched as a few faces paled at that.

"I see and Naruto failed, because he couldn't stand causing others extreme pain then?"

Sai's smile grew creeper and his eyes never shifted from the empty look. "Not at all, his biggest problem is that the subject keeps dying before he could extract a single bit of information. In his last exams, I saw him pull out a heart and eat it in front of its owner, causing the man's co-conspiratorial to be so frightened he had a heart attack and died with a boner. He joined the seduction squad, because it was much easier to extract information for him than torturing." The group was silent and pale by these words.

"I only did that because you dared me to?" Naruto snapped back. Sai just nodded to that

"By the way Naruto-kun, since we're here let's play a game, if you win I'll give a prize."

"What's the prize?" Naruto asked almost as soon as the question was out.

Sai pulled out a small cylindrical yellow cup with a yellow lid and writing they couldn't read was written all around the sides. Naruto's eyes lit up into pure joy and nodded his head excitedly. "Ok ok let's do it." smiling now he sat straighter.

"What is it anyways?" Draco asked.

"It's the perfect cup of ramen." Sai answered, causing the group to laugh, Naruto had made a name for himself last year as a ramen addict. "There are many different types of shinobi, one type we call foodnin." The group laughed.

"Really Foodnin?" Theo crocked through his laughter.

"A foodnin is a ninja who risks their lives to find the rarest and most delectable ingredients all around the world. Each one strives to perfect a dish that is unparalleled. One such ninja retired and runs a ramen stand that Naruto-kun visits everyday. He only makes three of these a year, one going into a drawing, another that goes into a bid, and the last one, he makes specifically for Naruto-kun's birthday."

"Which one is that?"

"I acquired this from a merchant who won the bid, unfortunately he came into contact with highmen and was killed in the process, we hunted them down and that is how I acquired the ramen. Now Naruto-kun as I was the one to challenge you, you get to go first." Everyone started to back away not knowing what to expect in a shinobi game.

Naruto started by placing a cup full of some kind of black oozing liquid. Without hesitation Sai simply picked up the cup and drank it completely and placed the cup on the table. They stared at each other, before Sai nodded. "Not bad, what was it by the way?"

"You drank something without knowing what it was first?" Lucius asked, these games started to sound quite insane.

"That's what makes the game fun." Sai answered.

"It's Tarantula venom." Naruto answered his previous question. The group just stared at him in horror before turning to Sai.

"Where'd you get the stuff?" Theo asked.

"There's a nest in the forbidden forest, Hagrid sometimes requests my help to keep them from over-populating the entire forest."

"My turn." Sai said placing a glass full of dark red nearly black like liquid.

Naruto tilted his head. "Too easy, you seem to be losing your touch Sai-kun." He proceeded to drink the glass and went so far as to like every single drop off the glass, making it look spotless. He did in such a way, he made it seem a erotic way, many of the boys found themselves bending at the wast.

Huffing and puffing heavily and with red cheeks, Daphne seems to shiver in excitement. "What was that, I only ever see you eat Ramen in such a way."

"When did you run into a Hozuki?" Naruto asked.

"What's a Ho-ki? Is it some kind of drink?"

"That was the blood of the last member of the Hozuki known to turn their bodies into water." Everyone looked a little horrified that Naruto just drank blood.

"Are you some type of vampire?" Crabbe asked, looking green.
"Naruto-kun and I were once snowed in while escorting a caravan. There was a large blizzard and it lasted for three month straight, we ended up having to consume members of the caravan to stay alive, we failed that mission, but we're alive." That did nothing to ease the growing tension at the table. "Your turn dickless."

Naruto was starting to get a bit ticked off with Sai and so the thing he placed in front of him had the group around them reeling back and covering their noses from the smell. "You're not really going to eat that are you?" Draco asked him. Even some from the table next to them were covering their noses from the smell. Sai simply stabbed it with his fork and proceeded to eat it. Many turned from their plates with upset stomachs from watching the two. Once he was done he turned to Naruto. "My turn."

Sai placed a bowl in front of Naruto, it was filled with a half dozen eyeballs. Looking up from the bowl, Naruto eyed his friend. "I don't get what you're doing." He said as he casually popped one eyeball at a time chewing and swallowing. Those around turned green, how could Naruto so casualty eat that. With one last round to go Naruto placed a veil in front of Sai, who looked at it curiously.

Without asking Sai simply opened the stopper and drank it. Soon everyone waited to see what it was that Naruto gave him. After about a minute of nothing happening they seemed disappointed. "Whiskers, what was that?" Daphne asked.

Pointing to Sai, "what happens when you mix tarantula venom with sapphire beetle dung and a vial of bone mending potion?"

"Are saying you have been experimenting with potions, that's extremely dangerous." Lucius told him.

"As a shinobi we make our own poisons, potion is just like that."

"You wouldn't happen to have those poisons on you?"

"No." He said dejectedly, "after the troll incident and that one time in the great hall, oh and the accidental death of professor Quirrel had the headmaster and the staff put heavier regulations on potion experimenting and ingredients. They don't want another incident like last year."

"Umm so what's going to happen to him?" Draco asked, pointing to the still Sai.

"Oh not much really, I created a paralyzing potion that can easily be replicated by wizards. Professor Snape said he would be glad to teach this potion in his class, because of its usefulness and the fact it wouldn't be too dangerous should something go wrong." Looking at Sai they all could see him sitting there still, he was unable to even open his mouth to speak, his muscles refused to move from their current position and most of all, he watched as Naruto extracted his prize from him. "Since he can no longer continue with the game, it's my win!" he cheered, holding up his prize.

After preparing and pouring the hot water inside Naruto reclosed the lid, he closed his eyes and placed his hands together as if in prayer. There was a sudden gasp coming from the Hufflepuff table. With surprisingly graceful speed, Choji moved in front of Naruto, eyeing the yellow styrofoam cup. "Is, is that what I think it is?"

"Yes." Sai answered. Soon a crowd from other tables started wondering by, it was a time to socialize anyways. Sai's creepy smile grew as more and more witnesses watched on.

With determination burning in his eyes, Choji paced his hand over the lid of the ramen cup. " I challenge you for the right to taste this heavenly dish!" He ancoced flaring his chakra, as he lifted his hand a glowing seal was left. There were gasps coming from some and others cheering them on. Naruto for his part didn't react to Choji, instead he remained in his posture as if he never heard him in the first place.

"Choji, what are you thinking you have to give up now before it's too late." Shika told his best friend, he had no idea the danger he was in. Soon even Hinata and Shino were trying to reason with him, but when it came to food, Choji always followed his heart.

"What's going on here?" A confused pair of redheaded twins joined, soon Ron, Ginny, Hermione and Harry along with the Weasley parents gathering around. Other's looked confused, before a panicked Iruka rushed to the table. Once he saw what was placed in between the two and his face paled. He knew Naruto better than anyone else and when it came to ramen, well the only thing worse you could do is become a traitor. "Choji you need to surrender now it is essential you do not go through with this."

"Can't do that sensei, as a shinobi I must stand for and fight for as the future greatest foodnin in the entire world. There was fire in his eyes, Iruka sighed and stepped back.

He turned and found Snape behind him, "um you might want to call a nurse or a doctor." Snape could see the sweat coming down his forehead. Acting quickly he sent a message and turned back to Iruka.

"Would you mind explaining exactly what's going on here?" It was amazing to see that the famous Severus Snape Scowl worked even on a ninja such as Iruka. Many gathered closer to listen in on the conversation, at the same time Naruto never moved. He was like one of the statues standing around the castle.

"Umm, well there are only ever three of those cups made a year. One will be presented as a prize during the ramen festival while another goes up for auction to help finance the foodnin's restaurant. The foodnin who created this dish placed a stasis seal on the lid to keep it fresh for whoever the winner is. He retired and opened a ramen shop in Konoha." Snape gestured to Choji who was glaring at Naruto, who still hadn't moved. "Well because of the rarity of the ramen many shinobi battle for a taste of it."

"I still don't understand the obsession over it?" Lucius joined them along with his wife.

"Well you would have to taste it to understand, even though I never had a chance to taste it either."

Just then Choji decided he waited long enough to make his move. Lunging forward, his hands were mere centimeters from the glorious cup, giggle "ahaaa!" Choji screamed, leaning backwards and falling off the bench. Those around him jumped back screaming, Choji's arms looked shattered from fingertip to elbow, the bone looked broken in several places and the hands looked as if they were crushed underneath something heavy.

Naruto had never moved from his position, but just then he blinked open his eyes and looked around the room as if confused before coming to rest on Choji. He closed his eyes once more and smiled down at him. "Oh Choji, did you want to try the ramen too, go right ahead and enjoy." He pushed the ramen cup closer to him and the seal on the top disappeared.

Pop

The nose indicating the ramen was ready to eat. Choji looked from Naruto to the ramen and finally down to his arms, he would need to go to the infirmary to heal them. Sniffing at his arms, he knew what was going to happen next. "It…. it's ok Naruto-kun I'm not that hungry you can have it." he was sweating by the end, he felt nervous and the way Naruto smiled at him indicated that there would be no other conclusion.

Smiling bigger, "thanks Choji-kun." slamming his hands together, "itadakimasu."

Clunk.

Naruto brought his hands back into position. "Itadakimasu."

Clunk.

He moved his hand to the left. Clunk.

He moved his hand to the right. Clunk.

Clunk clunk clunk,

Naruto finally blinked open his eyes and looked down, he searched up and down the table, but didn't find his yellow cup of heaven. Looking around at the faces he saw was mostly shocking at what he did to Choji, he shouldn't have made the challenge, simple as that. Others looked a little gleeful at the violent display, he took note to remember those faces, the ninja's looked as if everything was normal. When Naruto's gaze finally landed on Sai-kun, he knew that he knew where his heavenly cup went. Why, because to every one else around them Sai's expression looked blank and his creepy smile unnerving. To Naruto though, he was beaming with excitement, he could sense it and he continued to stare at him. He then noticed that Sai-kun's eyes weren't looking at him, but just passed his shoulder, he also lifted a finger to point to help clue Naruto in as to the whereabouts of his heavenly cup.

It was then he heard slurping directly behind him. Slowly turning around and looking up, Naruto came face to face with Gilderoy Lockheart. He slurped a few more before noticing Naruto's wide eyed stare. "Well little Naruto, I noticed your scuffle with your fellow classmate and I decided to confiscate the thing you two were fighting about. No need to thank me." He took another bite from the cup before vanishing the cup and what was left over inside as well, Naruto noticed as well as Sai , who's smile continued to grow. "I don't see the big deal with this ramen, it's a little too salty and over seasoned." As he continued, he never noticed Naruto's frozen state of shock or the small trembling coming off of Sai. "why don't you come with me and spend time with your old man and have some butterbeer and I can tell you stories about me, doesn't that sound fun?" Saying so, Lockheart guided a frozen Naruto out of the great hall as the others watched them go.

"Umm shouldn't we do something?" Lucuis asked the head of slytherin and the new ninja professor. The two men shared a look and seemed to come to the same conclusion.

"Naruto-kun is more than capable of taking care of himself."

"I don't want anything to do with that flamboyant dunderhead."

As Choji was led off to the infirmary the other houses were being led off to their common rooms, on the way they were told that the houses have been extended to house the extra bodies in the castle. Usually the prefects are the ones leading the way, but this time it seemed the head of the houses had more announcements.

Gryffindor

As the red and gold clad students made their way into the common room, professor Macgonagall stood in front of the fireplace waiting for everyone to fit in before starting. "Hi, giggle." the entire room jumped at the voice coming by the window. Turning they saw Naruto sitting there with a wide grin wearing his red haori with black flames.

"Naruto what are you doing here, aren't you supposed to be in the dungeons with the slytherins?" Hermione asked.

"We are, but three of us were chosen to give out the rest of the announcements while the boss is out." This statement confused the room, so Naruto continued. "Now then, first off welcome and good luck to all who choose to accept this class. First years are more than welcome to join the class, though they are not eligible for a spot to Konoha." as he was speaking the red pillow he was playing with in his hands was replaced by another red haired item, Ginny Weasley. As she and the room looked on in confusion, some looked at the spot she used to occupy, only to find the red pillow occupying the spot. He ran his hands through her hair as he spoke. Ginny started to lean into his curresses and her eyes would flutter shut in drowsiness. "Secondly, since there are students taking this class between their regular class and those who have already graduated, there will be two heads of house. The first being Professor Macgonagall who will be incharge of the students and Pirate-san is incharge of the adults."

Everyone looked at him confused wondering who this Pirate guy was. The few auroras staying in Gryffindor chuckled, connecting the dots. There was a loud huff as a man with one leg and the other ending in a claw made of wood, he stomped using his staff to help him and his one crazy looking eye swirled around. "Alastor Moody and while you're not in classes you'll be with me and the rest of the other houses training." He grinned at the last part, making many of his underlings uncomfortable.

"Right, since there will only be three spots available for those already graduated, it will be a fierce competition to secure a spot, and there for more time for training, while there are twelve spots for the students. Lastly, quidditch tryouts are held the last two weeks of September, and the winning team this year will get the chance to travel to Konoha and introduce the students of the shinobi academy to the game through an exhibition match." The room was filled with cheers and excitement declaring Gryffindor's win. "Ok that's all, see you guys in class tomorrow, ja ne." With that he disappeared in a poof of smoke waking Ginny from her pleasant trance.

"What just happened?" She asked, looking at the faces around her. Moody just crackled as Macgonagall gave her normal speech and ushered them to bed.

Hufflepuff

"So Choji, how are your arms, I can't believe Naruto would do something like that." Choji was currently being huffed over by two second year girls, Susan and Hanna.

"I'll be alright, the nurse said everything should be fixed by tomorrow morning. Don't be too hard on Naruto-kun, I did challenge him and as warriors did what he had to." Susan and Hanna swooned at his forgiving nature and kindness. Since he was still recovering and had his arms in bandages, the two girls offered to feed him some of their baked goods, he was in heaven.

"You're quite forgiving, you'll fit in perfectly with Hufflepuff." Tonks said from her chair. She was able to pull a few people she knew and some who were in their younger years while she attended, even Victor Krum was invited to join the group, everyone was welcoming and smiling.

"So Choji, can you tell us anything else about Naruto, any hidden secrets or girls he fancies." Tonk asked, making the girls around them giggle.

"Well- there was that indent last year."

"Last year? Wasn't Naruto in Hogwarts last year?"

"Ah there you are Susan, hello everyone." a new voice broke in their conversation. Turning they saw the head of law enforcement Madam Bones. "Aurora Tonks." She nodded to the pink haired girl.

"Madam Bones/Aunty!"

"Just call me Amelia while we're attending classes together, Nymphadora."

"Just call me Tonks, please."

Ok, I don't mean to be rude, but may I join your conversation? I would like to get to Know Choji here."

"Sure no problem." Choji answered just as Susan offered him a bite of her handmade chocolate brownie cupcake.

"We were just talking about an incident that Naruto was involved with just before he came to Hogwarts. It's something about a girl." Tonks told her as the girls giggled again and Amelia smiled taking a seat, every one turned back to Choji ready to hear the story.

"Well~ the day Hinata-san graduated-" Choji chuckled, feeling a bit nervous.

"Hi guy's!" A chipper voice spoke up in the middle of the group. Everyone jumped in fright, Tonks ended up pinned to her seat by the sudden weight in her lap.

"Merlin's beard Naruto!" she screamed before taking deep breaths. Naruto stared up at her wearing his grey gi and hori which was yellow with black flame trimmings.

"Giggle, I came to give a few announcements before you start your shinobi classes." He then went on before Victor raised his hand. "Yes Vic." Naruto smiled at him, making him smile back.

"Will students from other schools also try out?""that's actually a great idea, we should do that for all the houses." Cedric suggested, soon professor Poppy left to speak with Dumbledore.

"Now then Dora-nee don't forget to come to the headmaster's office tomorrow at five ok?"

"Why so early." She groaned. She was not a morning person and had attempted to hex even Moody when he woke her up early, it always ended up with her regretting it.

Giggle poof.

Blinking everyone was confused when Naruto had suddenly disappeared. " Wait, can he apparate already, but how can he do that in Hogwarts." Tonks was spewing out before Amile shook her to calm her.

"It must have been one of his shadow clones." Choji answered the question while leaning forward to gobble up the piece of treats left in Hanna's hand which paused halfway up when Naruto appeared.

"Shadow clone?"

"Yeah unlike the clone jutsu in the academy.'' At this he made the hand signs and a second later and a poof of smoke, a second Choji stood behind the original.

"Wicked, do we get to learn that?" Tonks asked, some of the auror's in the house were impressed as well, it was hard to make a solid allusion of one's self.

"Maybe I don't know what Naruto has planned for you, but his shadow clone, unlike mine, is solid and can perform jutsu as well, in order to make a single shadow clone you have to split your chakra in half and extract it from your body and mold it.

"Isn't it dangerous to split your chakra like that?" Amilea asked.

"Yea, it's extremely dangerous and if you don't have enough chakra you could end up killing yourself. That's why the jutsu was placed in the forbidden scroll of sealing."

"Isn't Naruto breaking the law then!"

"No, forbidden jutsu are not exactly forbidden."

"How are they not forbidden if they're forbidden?" this came from Amilea, as the head of the magical law enforcements, this was a good time to learn about the laws regarding the elemental nations.

"A forbidden jutsu really comes down to two components. One being power, if our chakra gets too low we could die, which is why we are training to grow our chakra network to hold more chakra. The other is control, we need a certain level of control over the amount of chakra that would be needed to perform a forbidden jutsu, without control our chakra can turn on us causing damage to the chakra network."

"Where did you learn all this, surely the academy doesn't discuss this."

"Naruto, our parents would hire him whenever they could to tutor us." Choji shuddered remembering a few of the tutoring sessions.

Ravenclaw

"Well then everyone welcome to Ravenclaw, now before you all head off to bed there are a few more announcements." The small form of professor Flitwick spoke while standing on a pile of books.

"Hello." a creepy voice spoke up from behind. Everyone including the professor jumped, the poor professor falling off his stack. Out of the shadows stepped a young man with black hair, eyes and clothes, his face was free of any emotion making the smile on it look out of place.

"My boy, that was quite a fright you gave us." Flickwick spoke after calming down his heartbeat. "I thought Mr. Uzumaki would be coming to give out announcements?"

"Yes, but unfortunately Slutty-chan was sorted into this house and her sluttyness is a bit disturbing for him." Some people were appalled by his language, but many looked at himconfussed on who he was talking about.

"Young man, I don't know who you're talking about, but we do not use that kind of language at Hogwarts." The small form of Flitwick tried to reprimand him, all he got back was a blank stare.

"Oh, I was talking about the half breed Veela there." Sai pointed right towards a blond haired fifth year from Beaubaxton. She looked out right murderess, but most of the boys and some men were glassy eyed around her.

Before Flitwick could reprimand him again, he jumped and gave a squeak as a large boot came down next to him, it was barely smaller than him and he could fit in one of Hagrids. "Professor Flitwick, I demand that this young man Mr. Potter be punished for his rude behavior toward me and my student" (i got lazy trying to accent them)

"That isn't Harry Potter."

"Oh hello half giant woman, I see you were put with the rest of the half breeds."

This caused more of those in the room to become a little more hostile towards him. "By the way I came to give the announcements that I originally came to do." After the same explanation was given to the other houses. Sai pulled out a black collar with a blue gem in the middle. Running the length of the coller were golden swirls that looked like runes. "By the way Slutty-chan, since you can't control your lust to be ravaged, it will still interfere with other student's studies. So Uzumaki made this collar to suppress that allur until you have better control." The girl looked completely livid that blue featherly like fire burst from her arms and some interweaving in her blond hair. Sai doesn't understand why she was so angry, after all it was the truth, the blue fire was new and he tilted his head in interest.

"I have had it with you and your insultes, just who do you think you are? I can't control what I am, if this Uzumaki is so distracted, why doesn't he put that on, I am no one's pet!" She screeched. This caused everyone to back away from her, until Sai was the only one left.

"I'm Uzumaki's best friend, Draco Malfoy, and Uzumaki already has control over his abilities, the problem here is you and your uncontrollable sluttyness. By the way, why does your ability to summon fire tie in with your allure?" Flitwick was about to speak up again to say that he wasn't Mr. Malfoy either, but apparently he was the only one to remember him from the sorting, curious, but no one listened to him.

"Well mistour Malfoy I will be speaking with your parents as I know for sure they are attending Hogwarts at the moment about your behaviour." Madam Maxime scolds before stomping away.

"My name is Fleur remember that and yes it does, it's what makes me part veela and my allur is my strongest ability and I am trying to control it." Fleur finally calmed down after her headmistress stomped on knocking some students to the floor from the tremors.

"I see." Sai said, putting away the collar. "In that case the collar would only hinder you at the moment and a specialized one would need to be made. I will add you to the list of those who will be tutored on refining their abilities, though a time hasn't been set, but a note will be delivered with a time and date once one is made."

"And just how many are currently on the list?" She didn't want to be in a room alone with a boy affected by her allure.

"Currently unknown. By the way any help or questions you need can be directed to your shinobi, even if he pretends to be asleep he'll listen, if lazy-kun knows what his sensei would do to him if he didn't." Sai said flatly before turning towards the door, as he opened it to leave they spotted the door knocker that guards the common room crying its eyes out.

"Sniff sniff, I am real you bastard you hear? I am real!" it yelled at his back continuing crying before shutting.

"This Uzumaki sounds like a gastly fellow." A voice that made Fleur cringe. Apparently Andrea was sorted into Ravenclaw.

"Troublesome." A voice spoke up from the dark corner. Shikamaru mumbled it low to keep from being noticed. He made his way towards where he saw other male students went to change hoping to make it to his bed.

"You have nothing to worry about, Uzumaki-san is very kind and can really help you control your abilities." Shino walked up, stopping next to the tiny professor.

"He doesn't sound like that coming from Malfoy, and how can he teach me if he is affected by my allur."

"I see, there is a misunderstanding." Shino pushed up his glasses and continued. "Naruto-san belongs to a rare group of shinobi called sensory ninja. When a shinobi's body can not contain all of their chakra, it continues to exist outside and around their bodies. Anything that enters their sphere of chakra allows them to track their chakra and even identify the person by their chakra signature. A fully trained sensory ninja can manipulate their spheres and extend them in any direction, the downside is they become more sensitive to genjutsu. Not only that, but Hinata-san had spoken about Naruto-san being an empath that is enhanced by his sensory abilities. My guess is that your allur is emotion based and it reached across the entire great hall and entire his chakra sphere. He trained to control those abilities and I am sure he would be able to help you as well."

Slytherin

As Snape led his snakes to the dungeon, Lucius and a few of his school friends from back in the day caught up with him. "So Severus, any surprises we should be aware of? It's just like old times back in the day." Lucius and his friends smiled at each other, Snape continued on without a change in his features.

"Professor."

"What?" Lucius asked, confused.

"While you are at Hogwarts and attending classes here, you are listed down as a student. Seeing as I am a member of the staff, you will refer to me as professor Snape as is appropriate."

"But aren't you taking classes too?" another of their companions asked.

They had arrived at the entrance when Snape turned to speak before being interrupted by a cheerful voice coming down another hallway. "Ah Severus, I'm glad I caught you before you entered the common room, I found one of your little snakes being carried off by a raven. I had to remind professor Lockheart that he's not allowed to take students off campus grounds." The headmaster walked towards them carrying Naruto who was licking at a lemon sherbet ice cream cone.

"Thank you headmaster." After placing Naruto down, the headmaster gave a smile and a goodnight to everyone and strolled off to bed.

Snape stared at Naruto for a moment, he just stood there as his friends surrounded him and continued to lick at his frozen treat. "Where is the other one?" He asked looking at the whiskered blond, it was then that the rest of the group realised they lost one of their ninja.

"Hellow." A voice spoke from the shadows. This caused everyone except Naruto and Snape to jump in fear, many of the auroras and adults had their wands out and pointed in every direction, the voice seemed to come from all angles. Coming out from a shadowy patch that many swore was a solid wall, came Sai. he ignored everyone around him, walking right up to Naruto who finished the last of his treat off with a large bite. "The instructions have been given to the rest of the houses." He then pulled out the collar he was supposed to give to the half veela. "Also Slutty-chan can't wear this, because it would interfere with the rest of her abilities. So you'll have to wear it or make a new one adapted to her." With that he handed over the collar and proceeded to stand behind him.

Snape was opening his mouth to speak again only to once again be interrupted by the wall opening and a figure walked out only to blink as he saw everyone standing there. "Oh, hi!" He greeted them in a chipper tone. Turning to his twin who wore a furlong look. "Oh boss, we just finished with the paperwork and are now waiting on the supplies that should arrive within the week, and the announcements were given out to the other houses. Anything else?"

Everyone looked lost between the two blonds. "My my whiskers, I didn't know you had a twin?" Daphne finally spoke up, walking up to Naruto at the entrance and poking him to make sure he was real.

"Oh dickless-kun doesn't have a twin, that thing is his shadow clone, just a creation using chakra, it's actually considered a forbidden jutsu."

Eyes widened and Snape wirled on Naruto. "Why are you performing forbidden jutsu at Hogwarts and putting others in danger?!" He looked angry and the students backed away some hiding behind the adults.

Naruto just stared at him and tilted his head. "I thought you already knew about shinobi culture?"

"It has been many years, why don't you give me a refresher." Snape demanded

"A forbidden jutsu isn't really forbidden, but more like restricted to those you meet the criteria to perform the jutsu. Mostly it is jonin shinobi who meet the criteria and so are given permission to learn and perform such jutsu."

"But dickless, didn't you steal the scroll and learn the jutsu after failing the graduation exams?"

Splat

A piece of stone fell, crushing him into a black puddle. "Well I'll see you guys later." the second Naruto said before poofing away. Sai walked out of the shadows and next to Naruto like nothing had happened. Entering the slytherin common room they were in for another surprise as the chamber looked completely different. The ceiling was a seven stories tall withe circular window at the top looking out into the black lake, the far wall was still a glass window as well, but went all the way up to meet the ceiling on the seventh floor. Silvery vines with emerald leaves wrapped around swirling staircases. A soft glow came from these vines illuminating the room perfectly. There were walkways and other areas to sit and mingle on the other stories, but looked like circular pits filled with fluffy pillows and pads to sit on. Each story's crosswalk had a number going all the way up, but in reverse starting fro 2?

"Why are the last two numbers switched?" Blaise asked, noticing it while everyone was still in awe about the new common room. Everyone followed the silent Naruto walking around the center fireplace blazing a green fire. There were otis on this level as well but had comfortable chairs instead of pads.

As everyone looked around in awe, Snape started a Naruto. "Was this the reason I couldn't get into the slytherin common room over the summer?"

Blinking up at him, Naruto tilted his head. "Didn't you spend all summer collecting potion ingredients from the Uzumaki garden to supply you for the year and you have only been here for less than a week." Snape turned away to address the crowd, but not before Naruto got another jab. "By the way did you like your new potions room?" Not looking his way Snape gave a sharp nod before giving out the final announcements.

"Also a club all the way from Konoha will be present this year at Hogwarts. The only way to join is to be invited by invitation only." There were murmurs racing through the crowd. With a single scowl the room went silent, Sai tilted his head in thought.

"Now then, in addition a request board will be posted just inside professor Umino's classroom. You can make a request from one of the shinobi staying here at Hogwarts, you will also need to include a montiary valued reward upon completion of request. Even as they are attending classes with you, these shinobi must still make a living and bring income back to their village. You may request anything from tutoring to running errands down to Hogsmead. You may not ask them to harm or sabotage another student. With that since we have the fewest attending, the graduates may sort out their sleeping arrangements among themselves, as for the students it should be obvious." Ignoring Blaise's raised hand he turned in a swirl of robes and left to his potions room with no one seeing the excitement in his eyes.

Sai opened his mouth to speak, only to have a finger placed on his lips to shush him. Naruto wasn't looking at him, instead watched the doorway that Snape left through, when he was satisfied he lowered his finger from his lips. "I didn't hear him say you couldn't help them cheat, was that intentional?"

As these two continued on the crown of slytherin watched on and some even gasped. "Why would you help anyone cheat?" This came from one of the first years.

Sai looked at the first year ignoring Blaise's raised hand, he had it up for five minutes now. "We're ninjas. We do not fail and will do what is necessary to complete the mission, even if it means our lives. Never go against a ninja unless you are prepared to lose everything." He said with such a dead tone he sounded like Snape, he must be used to saying this so often it became rederick.

"Since there are so few adults, two will be assigned to each level, yes Blaise?" Naruto pointed to him.

Finally dropping his numb arm he spoke up. "Why are the last two numbers at the top switched?"

"Did you really hold your hand up all that time just to ask the question?" Naruto blinked at Blaise.

"Yes? I figured you had a reason for that."

Staring at him, Naruto nodded. "My armory is on the top floor and I wanted to stay close by it, plus I still need to put together the kunai and shuriken sets for when you all start classes on weapon techniques." There were excited whispers going around the room. Turning, Naruto grabbed a stack of papers, "I also was able to finish our time table for the year, it includes everything from classes all the way through the festivals we'll be having throughout the year."

Passing out the schedule the slytherins were looking them over wondering what the year would have instored for them. "Um Naruto what is this, it is in my schedule weekly." Narcissa asked, pointing to a part in her schedule, in fact several people had the same thing on their time table.

Naruto took a peek at what she was talking about before his eyes lit up. "Oh, that is to help you after a week of classes, most of the class will be practical and you are going to end up with really sore muscles. So I schedule slytherins into slots so to help out, if you want more than what is already scheduled for you, then you'll have to pay three sickles for it. There is a sign up sheet with times and dates, all you would have to do is write your name down in one of the slots."

Pansy squealed as she ran up and hugged Naruto. "Thankyouthankyou Whiskers." She and Daphne were happy, because on their schedule, they had three a week scheduled for them.

"Looks like Naruto-kun is adding two more to his harem." This made both girls blush and chuckles from the crowd.

Everyone dispersed to head to bed, but before the adults started talking about sleeping arrangements, Naruto grabbed onto both Lucius and Narciss' hands grinning and giggling and tugged them to the top floor. He acted like a child dragging his parents with him, as they reached the top he let go and turned around to the address the second years and the Malfoys. "Ok, girls to the left and boys to the right. Since my armory is the last door on the right, Mr. Malfoy and Narcissa-obasan can take the one on the end to the left, oh and Mr. Malfoy, since you have been chosen to be the second head of house, you need to head to the headmaster's office tomorrow morning around five."

"May I ask what it is in regards to?"

"For your final fitting of course, you and others from the house need to represent each house so I had specialized material made into outfits and had them designed and measured for you." Everyone blinked at him.

"You got me new robes?"

"No it is battle attire, it is supposed to go with your new cane I gave you last year, you'll have to learn to duel wield your wand and cane sword, but I've already put you down for some tutoring on kenjutsu." He continued on for time explaining what they should be expecting in class. "Alright, that's everything goodnight everyone."

When they entered the boys dorm, the others noticed Sai following Naruto to his bed. In fact, as they looked around, there weren't any extra beds. "Umm, where are you going to sleep Sai?" Draco asked as everyone dressed for bed, they even chuckled as Naruto put on his night cap.

"With Naruto-kun off course. Whenever we leave the village we share a bed together. When he is in the village Stalker-chan gets him, we are best friends after all." For once Sai actually smiled, but it was when his back was turned to them.

Finally over ok now Omake time, by the way some said I made too many of these. The reason for it is because I have nowhere in the main story to put them.

Omake- suitors

"Congratulations Hina-hime!" Naruto Cheered, hugging Hinata and swinging her around. She had just exited the Academy wearing her hiate for the very first time around her neck. When she looked up, the first thing she saw was Naruto's grinning face. Thanks to all the torturous training Naru-kun had helped her through, she was able to pass her test with flying colors. "Hey Hina-hime, let's go to Ichiraku to celebrate your graduation, also there's something I have to tell you." This last part was said to be subdued, which started to worry Hinata.

Reaching the ramen stand they grabbed their usual seats as Amye gave them, well Hinata a menu, she just yelled to her dad in the back that Naruto had arrived, that was the only order needed. "So Naru-kun what was it you wanted to say, oh are you going to pick me to be one of your students?" Hinata was excited, she could spend all day with Naruto and even get stronger together.

"What, no. Though Inu said he was leaving the team and picking up a group of genin to train."

"I'm sorry Naru-kun, but maybe this means you'll have more time to train with me."

"Um about that Hina-hime." He chuckled, scratching the back of his head in nervousness. Their conversation was interrupted when the flap behind them opened and someone joined their duo sitting on Naruto's other side. Hinata studied the man who turned their way, he had shoulder length grease black hair, a long pointed nose, a constant scowl on his face and was wearing long black robes, even in Konoha's summer heat where temperatures reach hundred and eighty, but it didn't seem to bother him at all. Naruto seemed to have known him, since he turned and smiled while addressing him. "Hina-hime, this is Severus Snape and-"

"Professor."

"What?"

"You will refer to me as professor Snape as you will with the others at Hogwarts."

'Hogwarts?' She thought couriosly. "Naru-kun what's he talking about?"

"Hehehe, um well you see." he continued to explain that he would be gone to attend a school to control his family bloodline limit and exactly what that was. She was astounded that magic was real and her Naru-kun would soon be learning it, she was sad that he would be gone for months.

"I shall meet you at the gate at five sharp, I would like to hurry along as we have a few items to pick up before school starts." Snape told Naruto as the three of them left them to stare after himr . With that he turned in a swirl of robes, cutting an image as he strolled down the street.

After meeting one of Naru-kuns professors, he walked her home like he did every day she left unless he was on a mission, he always left her a note before he left. "Um Naru-kun, since you're leaving tomorrow, will you spend the night?" She blushed, now that she was a ninja she shouldn't be asking for childish things.

"Sure thing Hina-hime, besides I have to speak with your old man anyways." she looked at him suddenly confused, what could he possibly need to speak to her father for, he never had before unless absolutely necessary.

"What is it you need to speak with him about?" She asked shyly as they strolled towards the Hyuga compound.

If possible, Naruto's smile seemed to have finally out-shined the sun, not that he hadn't already in her opinion. "Come on, you can come too." So saying they rushed off running and laughing all the way home.

Hinata sat in her chair next to Naruto squirming under the intense scowl of her father, she stared at the floor, her face as red as it has ever been. "Let me understand your reasoning, Uzumaki." Hiashi Hyuga said in an even tone. "Since Hinata here has graduated and became a shinobi, you decided now would be the best time to ask for her hand? Are you two still a bit young for that?" He always did welcome him when he visited the Hyugas. Ever since that night when they were four, the two of them seemed to be inseparable. Add to the fact that the Uzumaki child was a prodigy that out stripped both Kakashi the white fang and his own sensei. One of the added benefits from this friendship was the large improvements in his daughter's techniques. At first some of the elders complained about teaching an outsider their fighting techniques, but when he observed their training, the movements Hinata performed weren't the traditional movements for the gentle fist. She seemed to be moving better and improving in leaps and bounds thanks to her friendship with the boy. So this proposal has not been thrown out the window quite yet. Hinata gave a small squeak at that. On the inside she was coming up with room decorations, meals she planned to cook him and, and, a bit of blood came from her nose and she discreetly wiped it away.

"As you know lord Hyuga." Hiashi was surprised by the amount of respect he was being shown. "You are aware of my record of service and have been a guest many times. We are well acquainted. I hope that you will trust me with your beautiful daughter." Hinata's face grew hotter being called beautiful. "If the Hyuga clan is looking for pedigree, well."

Hiashi quickly held up his hand to stop him from saying any further. "Are you saying that Hokage-sama has unlocked your inheritance?"

"That and I am now going to learn and master my family's bloodline limit."

Eyes widening Hiashi quickly controlled his features, though with this child that was redundant. "I understand, but as she is to be the next head this will need to be discussed with the Hyuga council."

He didn't get as far as the proposal before every elder went mad. "The audacity of that beast. No way in all things will we allow that monster into our clan, we would brand that bitch with the cuse seal and breed a new hyuga or rent her out to our allies!"

Hinata was the only one who flinched when Hiashi revealed the ultimate scowl of the Hyuga, making the elder crumble to the floor in a heart attack. It was a secret of the Byakugan that so far only he achieved. Hinata was near tears, but attempted to keep calm and not look weak. Though many feared Hiashi turning on them, they still agreed just with less vigor.

The only one who has yet spoken was Naruto, who's hair covered his eyes and set his lips into a thin line. When everyone had settled down, they turned to him expecting some type of reply. When he finally did look up, he smiled wide before hugging Hinata tightly and rubbed his whiskered cheek against her's purring. "Well Hina-hime I guess we'll just go with plan B, giggle." this sent a shiver down Hiashi's back, this was not going to turn out well. "Do you, Hinata Hyuga, agree to allow me to stand in as your champion?" He said this kneeling down as if he were proposing. "And any suitors you find unsavory would have to dual me to the death before I would ever allow them to take your hand." Red faced and nearly passing out in happiness, she agreed. Everyone felt something in the air then. After the first dozen suitors were piled into a ten gallon container, many others stopped stepping forward.

Omake T&I attempt one

Ibiki watched behind a two way mirror watching what must be the youngest applicant in his career. Anko recommended to him, right after she received her certificate of completion, that women had bigger balls than most of his men anyway. Naruto Uzumaki sat across the test subject, his mission is to extract information about a particular person Konoha is interested in. Ibiki could say this was the fastest fail he ever gave out. One moment the man sat there confused about why there was a child in front of him, the next he went up in smoke and was replaced by a weird looking duck. Anko was on the ground next to him laughing.

Omake T&I attempt two

Ibiki rarely ever gives out second chances to candidates, but between being amused by Anko's begging and a little put out that the puppy dog look the little blonde brat gave him actually had an effect on him. So here he stood with Anko, and the brat was late.

The door to the interrogation room opened and a spiky blond haired brat walked in playing with shinobi collective battle cards in his hands. They are popular with the civilian and academy children, but once one becomes a ninja they usually grow out of it quickly. The man they placed in there looked perplexed, why the hell was there a kid in an interrogation. He had prepared himself to face the sexy yet super sadist Anko Mitarashi, though he hoped the devil himself Ibiki wouldn't show up, he had heard stories from some friends who knew a guy that saw a guy who knew a guy that had a friend who knew a guy who's teammate's cousin got caught by Ibiki and had to be put down by his own brother.

What he never expected was a child younger than his kid who just graduated from the academy. He was so proud of him, when he got home he would have to take him out to celebrate. "Hi!" giggle, his thoughts were interrupted by the giggling child who now sat across from him.

"Umm hi, child you really shouldn't be here." he couldn't help but feel like he cared a little for the kid, after all he is someone's child.

"It's ok Anko-nee-chan and Ibiki said I could hang out here, hey are you being integrated or tortur? If tortur then Anko-nee-chan should visit , she's really cool." He continued on and the man couldn't help but laugh.

"They need to integrate me for info that I won't give them."

"Can you tell me, I can keep a secret and that's a promise."

"No can do kid, if I won't break for Ibiki, I can't break for you."

Giggle, the guy swore just as the kid looked away there was a flash of red. "Then while we wait for Anko-nee-chan, why don't you play with me?" He asked, smiling up at him holding out a rather impressive pile of cards.

"I would kid, but as you can see I'm a little tied up." He said, holding up his chained hands.

"That's ok you could still play, hey hey lets play for stakes." the kid said, vibrating in his chair.

"Sure, but you might not be able to afford the anti."

"Oh and what do you want if you win?"

"I want out." The blonde kid actually pulled out a set of keys.

"Anko-nee-chan wanted me to hold onto these while she snuck out for some dango." Which in fact has happened before.

The captured ninja smirked internally, this kid is so gullible, he almost feels sorry for taking advantage of the kid. "Tell you what kid, we'll play a game and if I win I get those keys."

Giggle "ok."

"Now what do you want if you win?"

"Umm, well since this is an integration."

"Ah so you want answers that they are interested in?"

"Naa that's boring." The man swore he heard two hands slapping faces. "Instead I'll take each of your toes off." He said this in such a chipper mood the man might not have heard him right.

"Can you repeat that?"

"So this is how we'll play the game, I have a life of one thousand, if you get me down to zero you win." he nodded at that understanding. "Now if I attack and land a direct hit on you, I will remove one toe." giggle.

The man paled a little, was he Anko's crazy little brother? "Umm how about."

He was cut off as the blonde kid placed two decks in front of him. "Do you want to go first to pick the deck?"

The man was sweating, if he knew one thing he couldn't let the kid have the serperior deck, there always was. " I'll pick." the kid nodded. Placing a hand over one deck, he kept an eye on the kid's expression. He could already tell that this kid was very expressive which gave him an advantage. The first deck the kid continued to smile, moving to the second pile he noticed the slight up lift of the kids lips, moving back to the first deck, "I'll take this one."

When everything was ready, he gestured for the kid to start. He laid down three jutsu cards face down and ended his turn. When the man drew a card and saw he had quite a few powerful players, their power level went up to sixty, sometimes eighty. He even saw a catalyst card in his hand. These were legendary and their power was all above one hundred. Each catalyst card represented one of the nine bijuu, this kid was lucky and his escape was almost assured with this in his hands. "I'll play my ninja in defence and place two jutsu cards down. End turn." There the fighter has a great defence of sixty two.

"Okay," the kid picked up a card and grinned. "I lay the jutsu card will of fire which allows me to play any Hokage card in my hand directly to the battle field." He placed a fourth Hokage card down in attack mode, he then proceeded to flip one of his face down jutsu cards. " play the thunder Kunai, which allows my fighter to attack you directly." He grinned wider.

At first he didn't feel anything, though he started to feel wet in his right shoe. Looking down, he pulled his shoe off with his other foot and his eyes widened at his missing pinky toe. It was then the pain came in, he gritted his teeth and gave a growl. "My turn over, your turn." The Blond said in his still chipper mood.

Trembling, he picked up a card. "I play my ninja in attack and play my clone jutsu card." he said, flipping up one of his face down cards. " This allows me to play multiple copies of the ninja and I attack with all." The first one died when going up against the kid's Hokage card, but it opened him up for the rest, this brought his life down to twelve hundred.

The cheeky brat grabbed his chest like he's been physically hurt, he couldn't help but be reminded of his missing pinky toe as it throbed. "Wow that was an extremely powerful attack, you might end this faster than I can take your toes, giggle." drawing a card the kids eye's light up, which meant he should be prepared to grit his teeth. " I play summoning, this allows me to play my Tsunade card and Jiraiya card as long as there is a Hokage present on the battlefield. I also use Tsunade's special ability rejuvenation, this brings my life back up to max and I play Jiraiya's special ability which paralyzes any combatant on your side of the field for two turns." the man's face paled at every turn. " Now I play my own clone jutsu card and use it on the fourth Hokage, and because I used this jutsu on the fourth he gained an additional three clones bringing the total to ten. Now I attack with My Hokage and clones and because they are clones of him they all share his ability and attack you directly. Giggle."

The man screamed as his other toes seemed to have fallen off, but the cut was too clean to be used by a blade. This brat was a ninja, and this was a tortur session. "Wait it's not over, my other two attack your fighters and they are destroyed. Turn over." Eventually the kid moved onto slicing into him and always seemed to cut the right nerve to cause maximum pain, he lost his tongue part way through one of his attacks. Finally the man had taken his final turn and brought this nightmare to an end, he didn't care if he was killed at this point, he wouldn't have to play this game again.

True to his word the chains fell off and the kid left. Crawling onto the floor towards the door, the man thought of hugging his kid and making love to his wife which he hates. Just as he reached it, the door opened and the blonde demon returned. "What are you doing on the floor? I brought snacks, ready for round two giggle."

Omake Virginity

Jiraiya couldn't help the stupid grin on his face as his beaming aprentice waved a piece of paper showing he passed his exams for S&I, he was going to turn him into the perfect spy master. All the training they did on the trip had paid off, his little gaki was turning into the perfect pervert, something he hoped would one day come true. He glanced at the administrators, who were responsible for administering the test. They were no pushovers too. Every shinobi who joined the S&I department were said to be some of the most beautiful in the village. He knew just how deadly they could be, after all he ran the department, his organization rivaled that of Donzo's root, neither had yet to insert an agent into the others, it was basically a stalemate between the two.

Agents were stationed all over the nations and even the outside world, something no village thought about. It was one of the reasons the land of fire had prospered far more than the other countries. The ones administering the test for his apprentice were his two top agents in his organization, Natasha Romanaoff and Yelena Belova, besides nothing but the best should test his apprentice. Both women were left quivering on the ground in an almost pleasurable coma. As the head and Naruto's master he was allowed to view the test and was blown away at how fast his apprentice had taken down his top agents. It barely took him an hour to extract the words from them that he needed to pass, and most of that time he was playing with them. He chuckled at that though and received a red line down his nose, who wouldn't.

Wiping it away he looked down proudly at him. "I have never been more proud than the day I married my princess. Now that you're part of the team the first thing that needs to be done is to now train in the carnal arts. I'm going to show you how to make every woman you meet is satisfied to the utmost that as men, we have a duty."

Pointing to his two top quivering agents, who were now unconscious, but with a smile on their faces. "I thought that we already covered that part?"

Jiraiya laughed and patted his head. "Yes and you have exceeded expectations." At his praise Naruto smiled happily. "But," Naruto's face fell. "You still have a very important hurdle to overcome."

"What's that ero-sennin?" Naruto asked, confused.

"Why you must now lose your virginity now. I have several women who have signed up for a night with you." Both males froze as the ground in front of them erupted into a crater. Even before the dust cleared the two were shaking in fear of the women who stepped out.

"he- he-hey Baa-chan." Naruto greeted with a nervous smile. Tsunade smiled and picked him up, hugging him. She seemed to squeeze a little tighter, accidently stuffing his face between her bosoms. Jiraiya looked on with a bit of jealousy before being met with the withering glare of his wife. Giggle, he still couldn't believe she kept the marriage, they could have had it voided by the Hokage, but instead she chose to stay married to him.

"What were you trying to do to Naru-chan. Stop trying to corrupt him in your perverted ways." she continued to yell at him as her grip on Naruto tightened bringing out a squeak from the lucky gaki.

'If anyone was corrupting him princess it's you.' He would never utter those words out loud until his dying day, by the look on her face, that wasn't long.

"Princess." he said soothingly, smiling and bringing up Naruto's test. "Naruto passed beyond the highest test results for the S&I and you know what he needs to do." That was probably the wrong thing to say.

She buried him into another crater, with her foot between his legs to emphasize the point she wanted to bestow. "How dare you, he is way too young for that, I let you slide a lot, but this is crossing the line!"

"Ba-baa-chan?" Naruto finally got out after freeing himself from her super tight hug, he'll need to heal a few cracked ribs, but nothing a good night's rest won't do.

"Don't think I'm not finished with you gaki, you went along with knowing full well what was expected!" Her rant was cut off as Naruto spoke again.

"But Baa-chan I have an idea that will help all parties." still scowling at him, she decided to listen, besides the last one allowed her to pay off all debts, Jiraiya sulked for a week without so much as a peek at the waitress.

Omake Golden witches 2

"Th, thank-you for your patronage." Madam Malkin smiled as she held onto the door frame of her shop as Jiraiya fixed his haori and gave a wave as he strolled down Diagon alley. It has been years since he had walked this alley with Tsunade, lots of memories from when her younger brother was still alive. Making his way down the alley he grinned as he knew a place with cheap drinks.

Entering the Leaky cauldron, he sat himself on a bar stool and ordered up some drinks. The bartender, Tom, thinks he handed him a bottle of fire whisky instead of his order. Looking confused, the bartender answered his unasked question. "Lady Tsunade told me to be on the lookout for you and told me to tell you, drink up and meet her in room 212."

Jiraiya grinned and started to chug down the bottle at an alarming rate. Tom and a few of the patrons around him suddenly backed away from him, it was never a good idea to chug fire whiskey, there was even a warning label on it. After topping off the bottle he stood up and Tom came closer to him, "are you going to be ok sir?"

Jiraiya soon swelled like a toad as smoke came out of his ears, he gave a burp and let out a wisp of flame. "My good man, this day is a wonderful day." with that he tipped Tom generously and made his way up to room 212. He remembered that room quite well back in his younger days. This thought also brought up an image of Minnie, he and her had many memories in that room, though it was weird that Tsunade would pick that room in particular, in fact why did she rent a room in the first place?

Standing in front of the right door, he wondered if he should knock or just let himself in? Trying the door he found it locked, no surprise there, so he went with option two, he knocked. He didn't receive an answer, but by the click of the door unlocking must ment he was invited in. walking in and closing the door and relocking it, Jiraiya turned to see a beautiful site. His beautiful blond princess sat at the edge of a rather large king size bed, that wasn't anything unusual. What was though, was she was only wearing her green haori and a pair of white panties. Smiling wide he slowly approached the bed. "Hey Hime" he greeted in his husky tone she likes, he was rewarded with a sultry smile of her own. "By the way, how did you know what fire whiskey does to a sage like me?"

"She didn't." Another voice spoke from behind Tsunade, leaning to one side and resting in a rather provocative pose was another woman. She wore a one piece robe tinted green that was extremely thin and transparent, showing off her firm breast and slender body. She had a very fit body that would put most women in their twenties to shame, despite the slight wrinkles and liver spots. He noticed she let her long reddish hair out to flow on the bed, it framed her face perfectly. "Hello, Momo."

"Minnie?!" Jiraiya couldn't believe after all these years that he'd ever get to see her like this again, not since that year they left to go on a sex crusade around the world. "You looked positively stunning as usual.'' They smiled at each other for a few more minutes before Tsunade cleared her throat to grab their attention.

"Minnie, stick to the plan." Minnie nodded, it was then he noticed a slight red tint to both their cheeks. They were tipsy, smiling to himself. He came closer to the bed more confidently and kissed Tsunade.

"Ladies, what can a gentleman like me do for you?"

Minnie giggled, "I think tonight, we don't need a gentleman. Though a friend could use your expertise Momo." With that both women moved to either side of the bed to reveal what was hiding or who was being hidden behind them. What he saw would write his next three books and become best sellers.

He had finally completed his dream of finding the trinity of femininity and sexuality. He discovered the first one when he met Minerva Mcgonagal, she possessed such a sex drive that there have been day's even he could be warn out, her kegel exercises had paid off. The second one was his very own slug-princess. She eventually grew into them and he was glad he never gave up in his pursuit of her. Now swaying from side to side was the most beautiful and bouncy ass he had ever laid eyes on. "You can touch it if you want." Tsunade told him and he seemed to teleport right in front of it.

His eyes widened as he placed his hands on them. I felt just as they looked, it was then that the fire whisky kicked in and his pants were torn off by his own erection, it slapped the ass as it sprung out. He had never been this hard since that time he and Minne snuck into that nudist community. He subconsciously leaned closer, as he did his hands seemed to spread the cheeks apart, alloying him to observe how slick the center was. He felt a pair of breasts press up against his back, by the way they felt he could tell it was Tsunade. "They don't call her Longbottom for nothing."

He gaped as he finally tore his gaze from the heavenly creation and looked past them to see the owner. She was tied up in a way that allowed him full access to her ass, he used these knots before, he also noticed a ball gag stuffed into her mouth, and why in kami's name is that she is still wearing that awful hat, it was the only article of clothing she had. "A-Aggie?!" Aggie was the nickname he gave Augustus Longbottom when they met. She hated it, which was why he always used it.

A figure appeared on the side before she stretched a long leg over Aggie and straddled her back like a saddle. Looking up he saw Minnie in a red corset, she was beautiful and it only accentuated her body even more so. "You want to know a secret Momo?" He throbbed at the nickname. Both Tsunade and Minerva leaned into him, sandwiching his body between theirs. "Aggie did have a thing for you back in our younger days, but she was quite put out when you slept with her nemesis." Jiraiya arched his brow in confusion. "Walburga Black."

"Who?" It was then that he noticed Aggie's center slicken even more, she must really hate this Walburga Black. Minnie smiled and reached back removing the ball gag, she arched to give him a good view of her perfectly cared for body. This hardened him more and his mini me gave a slap against the goal making the body owning it jump.

"Don't you think for one moment I would enjoy anything you do to me. My late husband George was the only wizard who could rock my world, you'll never match up to him!" Aggie screeched the moment the gag was removed, though everyone in the room knew she was just blowing smoke. They were watching her body movements, because who wouldn't be entranced by the most beautiful ass any of them have seen. She was leaning into Jiraiya's hands and the small puddle gave her true thoughts away.

"She doesn't deny she wants it at least." Tsunade smiled.

A Omake for an omake?

Jiraiya walked through the halls of Hogwarts looking for one of three things. First one being Tsunade-hime, he always enjoyed spending time with her, and she was usually found in the company of Minerva Mcgonagall, who just so happens to be his second objective. Minnie was, well she was him if he was female, perfection. He had lost count of the numerous times she had worn him out and sought after another to finish her off. Don't get him wrong, those were rare occasions and only because he had a few conquests of his own before meeting up with her. He passed a girls bathroom when he heard a familiar cackling coming from within.

Smiling wide he threw open the doors and paused. He expected to see Minnie, but instead of her school robes or the more transparent ones she wore around him, she wore an emerald green corset and boots that came up past her knees. Even that wasn't as surprising as who was with her. Tied spread eagle was a dark hair girl around their age, gagged and currently being spread wider for his eyes. "Now now Wally there's no point in fighting now, just enjoy." with that she sat on her face wiggling a little to get comfortable. "Care to join me Momo?"