Chapter 43

Miroku sat on the couch beside his brothers. The weekly family dinner had been eaten and now they were going to sit around and lounge. He leaned back, rubbing his stomach which was overstuffed. He couldn't help but to wonder if this is what Kagome felt like with her protruding belly.

At least no one wanted to rub his. Kagome couldn't walk around a corner without someone trying to rub her belly. The only one that didn't was InuYasha because Kagome was still working on her touching problem with him, Souta, and Aito.

Everyone was wanting to feel the baby. Kagome could feel him move around inside, but no one else could. Even he found himself with his hand glued on her stomach hoping to feel his son move. Kagome sat down beside him, groaning as she did. Her hand rubbed over her swollen belly, and Miroku couldn't keep himself from looking her over.

She was beautiful, glowing. If he wasn't so terrified, he might contemplate keeping her pregnant. Right now, he needed to deal with the overwhelming fear that continued to plague him. He had tried googling ways to get rid of it, but nothing worked. He had even poured himself a shot, and then stared at it, unable to drink it.

His father had gotten into his head, planted a seed of doubt, and it had taken route, blossoming. Miroku was pitiful, he knew. At this moment, he wanted to put his hand over Kagome's, feeling their son together, but he couldn't. He didn't feel he had the right to, not when he was as terrified as he was.

"Miroku?" Touga was standing in the hallway and motioned for him to follow. Miroku stood, unsure of why he was being called, but not about to ignore his father's wishes. They made it into his office, and Touga motioned for him to sit down while he went to the back wall where all of the books were kept on shelves.

Miroku watched him, silent as his father dug something out the small safe he kept on the shelf. A few moments later Touga turned around, holding his hands behind his back. He leaned on his desk, across from Miroku.

"I'm proud of you, son." Touga smiled down at him, and Miroku tucked his chin to his chest , his fears resurfacing. Touga didn't seem to notice and continued on. "I will admit that I was skeptical about Safe Haven, but seeing what you do with those girls… I've been proud of you for years." Touga pulled his hands from behind his back, a velvet box with an old gold ring sitting in the middle.

Miroku knew exactly what it was. It was a family heirloom. A gold ring with the Taisho family crest on it. It had been in the family for generations, passed down from father to the first child to have a child. Miroku would be the first to have a child, but still, he shook his head.

"Not me. That is for Sesshomaru or InuYasha." Looking up to the man who raised him, he saw the anger that flitted across Touga's gaze. It disappeared as quickly as it appeared, morphing into a sad understanding.

"Your last name is Taisho, is it not?" Touga sighed, looking away for a moment, and then looking back towards Miroku. "I included you in everything. You were my son the moment I took you from Mattaki, and I never showed you otherwise. When I thought the three of you were old enough to learn of this ring, you were there with Sesshomaru and InuYasha. If I didn't think of you as my son, I would not have told you of this ring."

"But…" Miroku looked down again, his hands clenching into fist. He wasn't proud of himself. His fears regarding his wife and baby continued to assault him, and once more he shook his head. "I don't deserve it."

"Why is that?" Touga set the ring down on the desk beside him and then leaned forward. "Talk to me, son. Kagome is worried about you, your brothers are worried about you, and now I am as well. What is bothering you so badly?"

Miroku swallowed, hands clenching around the arms of the chair. He had told no one of what his father had said. Kagome knew because she was there, but that was it. His brothers knew that his father had visited, but Miroku hadn't gone into detail. Holding it all in was making everything so much worse, and if Touga truly thought Miroku was his son, then Miroku should be able to go to him with anything.

"I am terrified I am going to be like Mattaki!" Miroku covered his face with his hands, leaning forward as he finally let it all out. "What if I hurt her or the baby? What if I end up being terrible just like him? I can't-"

"That is ridiculous!" Touga knelt on the ground in front of his son, eyes wide as he looked at the crumbling form of his youngest. "Miroku you could never hurt Kagome. Not physically, or emotionally. It will be the same with your son."

"How do you know?" Miroku looked up to his father, eyes begging for some kind of reassurance. "He came by again, told me that alcoholism runs in the family. That it was a curse that both myself and my son would fall to."

"That is not true. Alcoholism can run in the family, but it is more psychological than it is genetics. If you are stronger than your father, you have nothing to worry about. I know you are stronger than him. Plus, you don't even drink, Miroku." Touga placed a hand on Miroku's shoulder, but the distraught man pushed it away, standing to his feet and beginning to pace.

"I've never drank anything stronger than soda. But I should be able to. It was what Mattaki said. If I really wasn't going to end up like him, I should be able to take a single shot and never want to take another one again. But I can't. I can't even take one shot for a fear that I will fall just like he did."

Touga stood slowly, fury surging through him. He hated Mattaki. When he finally took Miroku out of that house, he thought Mattaki would never be able to get his claws in the boy again, but he was wrong. Mattaki had still worked his way into Miroku's mind, and now Touga was going to have to figure out a way to erase everything Mattaki did.

Turning away from a still distraught Miroku, Touga pulled out his phone, sending a text to Kagome and asking her to come into the room. He sent one to Izayoi as well, knowing that Miroku might not be happy about Kagome coming. He knew Miroku wouldn't hurt Kagome, but this fear revolved around Kagome and the baby.

Text sent, he turned to the small bar he had in the corner of the room, pouring two small shots of bourbon. He swallowed one down to calm his nerves, and then filled it again. By then Kagome and Izayoi were making their way inside, closing the door behind him.

"Kagome, do you know what happened between Miroku and Mattaki?" Touga looked to his daughter in law, his tone still that of fury. She nodded, shooting a worried glance to Miroku who refused to look at her.

"He… He said some things, and Miroku hasn't been able to let go of them. I've tried." Kagome started blinking rapidly, trying to keep her tears at bay. "I wanted to help him, but I couldn't reach him this time." She felt like she failed Miroku. She was supposed to be able to help him through anything, but this time she couldn't.

"That's okay." Izayoi placed her hands on Kagome's shoulders, squeezing. "You both have family to fall back on, and we will always be here to help you." She looked up to Miroku, worry in her gaze as well. "What did Mattaki say."

"Mattaki got into his head. Made Miroku think that he would be no better than him." Touga walked up to Miroku, holding out the glass of bourbon. Miroku stepped back from it, shaking his head, and Touga narrowed his eyes. "Kagome, what do you think would happen if Miroku drank this."

"Nothing. Miroku isn't his father." Kagome shrugged her shoulders, no hesitation in her answer. She didn't even need to think about it. That spoke more to Miroku than anything else she had said.

"Take the shot, Son. I'll say this bluntly. If you are anything like that bastard, then it is better to find out now, and not later. Kagome would have more of a chance to escape." As harsh as it was, it was true. Touga had no doubt that Miroku was far stronger than the male that sired him. It was time for Miroku to see what everyone else had been trying to tell him.

Miroku winced at what Touga was saying, then looked towards Kagome. She nodded in support, still believing that he wouldn't fall like his father and grandfather had. Looking back to the glass, Miroku reached out and took it, scowling at the amber liquid.

"Ready?" Touga clinked his glass against Miroku's and together they took the drink. Immediately Miroku ran to the trash can, spitting it out with a cough.

"That is foul!" Breathing through his mouth so he wouldn't taste the vile concoction he just drank, he rubbed at his mouth violently. Touga chuckled, handing Miroku a bottle of water, and watched as his son chugged it down.

"Do you want another?" Touga was smiling, but that question held more significance than any other.

"No! How does anyone drink that filth?" Miroku was still scared to breath through his nose, testing it cautiously. The taste was still there, but it was faint, bearable. "Why does my throat burn? I didn't even swallow it."

"Son, do you want another drink?" Miroku had yet to grasp the severity of the situation, still focused on the horrible taste of alcohol.

"No, I-" Miroku froze, realizing what all the others already had. "I don't want another. I am not my father." He looked like he was ready to cry in relief.

"I told you." Kagome smiled, tears in her eyes. "We all did."

Miroku gave a tight smile, holding his arms open to Kagome. She rushed into them, and he held her, eyes closing as he finally accepted the truth that they had all known. He wasn't his father, and he never would be. "I am sorry, Kagome. I shouldn't have worried you." Kagome shook her head, just happy to have finally helped Miroku past this.

"Now, back to this." Touga set his glass down, picking up the box that he had previously sat down. "It is okay to be scared. You are a first-time father. It doesn't matter how much you love that baby; you will be terrified. I was. Ask your mother. When she was pregnant with Sesshomaru, I was freaking out over every little thing. But when Sesshomaru was born, and I held him for the first time, it all disappeared. There was no fear, only love. It will be the same for you." Touga held out the ring, and Miroku reached out, taking it. This time there was no hesitation.

Kagome winced then, a hand going to her stomach. Miroku looked down at her, carefully placing the ring in his pocket. "Are you okay?"

"Yea. He just kicked really hard. He won't settle down." Kagome winced again, and Miroku knelt down. He lifted up her shirt, revealing her belly and rubbed over his son. He opened his mouth to say something and then froze as Kagome winced.

"I felt that, Kagome." He looked up to her with wide eyes, ignoring Izayoi's gasp of surprise. Looking back down to her belly, he watched closely. He could see the small movement under her skin, and placing a hand over the spot, he kissed her belly beside it. "Let me feel you again." His voice was soft, and his son answered by rubbing up against his hand. "I know he is hurting you Kagome, but I don't want him to stop."

Kagome had tears in her eyes, one hand rubbing them away while the other was on his shoulder. She chuckled wetly, shaking her head. "I don't want him to stop either." Miroku had worried her for so long, and now he was here, loving on her belly like he used to. She didn't want to ruin that.

"Can we feel?" Touga took a step forward, and when Kagome nodded, Miroku reluctantly stepped out of the way. None of them noticed Izayoi had taken a photo of Miroku feeling his baby for the first time and texted it to everyone. With all the secret photos people got of each other, they would always have memories to look back on.

Gently Touga placed his hand over Kagome's belly, smiling when he felt the little nudge. Izayoi made her way over, and joined him, letting out a happy sob when she felt her grandson. The door shot open then, making them all jump, the entire family rushing in to surround Kagome. She laughed as they fought to touch her belly.

Noticing InuYasha standing in the corner, she felt bad suddenly. She trusted InuYasha, but it was taking longer to get past her touching issue with him. She assumed because he was loud and brash, a trait that Kouga also carried. However, just like Miroku wasn't Mattaki, InuYasha wasn't Kouga. Taking a deep breath, she walked up to him, grabbed his hand, and placed it on her belly. His eyes were wide, but when he felt the baby kick, a grin split his face from ear to ear.

"I think this is cause to celebrate. Who wants a drink?" Touga held up his glass, offering more of his bourbon.

"Not me." Miroku laughed, meeting Kagome's eye as she grinned towards him. Everything would be okay now. Not even Kouga would be able to come in and ruin the happiness this entire family had found.