WARNING: This story contains explicit TCest.
Chapter Rating: R

Pairing: Leo/Raph

Setting: 2k3 Season 4 (Starts prior to "Dragon's Brew")

Summary: After stopping Shredder from escaping New York to attack the Utrom home world, the Hamato Clan returns to Earth severely wounded. While the rest of the family makes progress in moving on from the traumatizing incident, Leonardo struggles to rebound mentally and spiritually. Stuck in a state of self-loathing, the leader can't seem to realize that his constant brooding is affecting others and repeatedly putting his relationship with Raphael at risk for failure.

Raphael was understanding at first. With four broken ribs, a cracked sternum, a bruised liver, and a twisted ankle, he could barely stand to have anyone look at him let alone touch him. He didn't imagine that Leonardo, who had almost been gutted by Karai, had much desire for contact either. The first week at the farmhouse following their return to Earth had been filled with one primary activity: sleep. Transmatting across multiple galaxies while suffering from severe injuries was exhausting and left the entire ninja clan with little energy for anything more arduous than wandering dreamland.

Then there was the fact that Donatello, the undisputed doctor for the family, had imposed a ban on all intimate relations. At least, until Leo's stitches could be removed and Raph's broken bones had healed. Anyone with half a brain knew better than to defy Donnie's medical advice. The gentle genius could be damn scary when mad and ignoring his health-related instructions was a surefire way to get him riled.

So Raph had exhibited a rare show of patience and had not made a move on his leading lover for six long, lonely weeks. Initially, he had thought that Leo's distance from him during those days had been the eldest's tactic for resisting temptation, but Leo remained aloof even after their celibacy sentence ended. The first time Raph propositioned Leo, he was unceremoniously rebuffed. He received a similar response the second time and the third time and the fourth time. Eventually, he lost count of his unsuccessful attempts to seduce his mate. It was with bitterness that he realized he hadn't touched his oldest brother until he helped pull Leo off of Jana the night she crash landed at their campout and that had been completely platonic.

Not that Raph wanted Leo only for sex. He missed simply talking to his big brother – something that they could do for hours when they weren't at odds over an issue. But Leo wasn't even willing to do that anymore. Every conversation Raph tried to start was either ended abruptly or ignored entirely.

The worry that he had done something wrong to make Leo upset with him waned when he realized that the katana-wielder was treating everyone else just as coldly. On their rafting trip down the river, it didn't even feel like Leo was there. His presence was most noticeable when the small family had plotted and carried out the destruction of the nuclear plant to save the merwoman's eggs from the radiation spill. Other than that, he isolated himself from the rest of the group. Their stay in North Hampton ended two days after the river rafting journey and as they drove back to the city Raph found himself fervently hoping that Leo's temperament improved once they were settled at home again.

It didn't. The door to the lair hadn't even closed all the way before Master Splinter informed his students that they were confined underground until further notice. A chorus of whines had emanated from his three youngest sons, but Leonardo had silently accepted the order and slunk off to his room where he had remained until the next morning. Rising earlier than usual, Leo had thrown himself into his training routine with a manic energy and couldn't be bothered to stop for anything. After two days of endless exercise and adamant denials about hunger, Splinter had intervened and Leo replaced some of his physical exertions with long periods of isolated meditation. Raphael renewed his effort to connect with his brother, but gained no ground. Angry and frustrated, Raph reached his breaking point and decided to put an official end to the relationship Leo had apparently given up on.

The digital alarm clock in the hothead's room read 10:08 that Tuesday night. Raph wasn't concerned about the time though. He was far too busy collecting the spare pieces of gear that Leo had squirreled away inside a trunk placed in the corner furthest from the door. It had been a convenience when they had been sharing their nights together, but now it was an annoyance. Raph intended to return every bit of it as well as suggest that Leo journey to the pits of hell. Arms full of the minimal clothing, he headed for his brother's room.

Knocking was not a gesture the red-masked ninja made when he was peeved. He twisted the doorknob roughly, momentarily surprised to discover that it was unlocked, and shoved the door open. As he stepped inside the room, he nearly choked on the scent of sandalwood that came from the few dozen candles burning around Leo's sanctuary. The leader himself was seated on a rug in the exact center of the floor, posed in perfect lotus. Flicking on the light, Raph marched through the maze of candles past his older brother to a small dresser located next to the bed.

"….um…excuse you…" Leonardo said, keeping his eyes closed. He did not need sight to know who had intruded into his domain. "What do you think you are doing?"

"Returning yer shit ta ya," Raphael answered in an even tone while dumping his gift on top of the dresser. Hands free, he opened the furniture's bottom drawer and began rifling through the contents. "And taking mine back."

Confused, Leo's eyes slid open and he looked back over his shoulder at his younger brother. "….and why exactly are you doing this?"

"I figure there ain't no point in keeping stuff in each other's rooms," the hothead told him, pulling out his spare gear and draping it over his left arm. After he fished out the final kneepad, he straightened up and shut the drawer with his foot. "Seeing as how we ain't having sex anymore."

Leo scoffed and rolled his eyes. "Aren't you being a bit dramatic? It hasn't been that long since we've had sex."

An angry glare marred Raph's features as he turned to face the smaller turtle. "It's been nine weeks and three days!"

"…you counted?" Leo finally stated after several seconds had passed during which he had done nothing but blink stupidly at his mate.

"Ya didn't notice that we ain't been together once in two months?!" Raph thundered. Shaking his head in disgusted disbelief, he began stomping to the door. "Ya fucking oblivious asshole!"

"Raph?"

Startled by his brother's reaction, Leo shot to his feet and raced for the entryway. The katana-wielder beat Raph by a foot and slammed the door shut before he could escape. Grabbing Raph's shoulder with one hand, Leo used the other to hold the door closed.

"Raph…wait…"

"I have been waiting!" Raph declared. He shrugged Leo's hand off and yanked at the doorknob. "And I'm damn sick of it! I ain't wasting no more of my time on ya!"

"You can't be mad at me for this!" Leo responded, assuming that Raph's rage stemmed solely from their lack of coupling. The leader leaned heavily against the door to keep it from moving. "Don said we weren't supposed to fool around because of our injuries!"

The sai-wielder gave the door another mighty tug. It opened a fraction, but resealed almost instantly under the force of Leo's weight. Undeterred, he kept trying only to meet with failure each time. A growl rose in Raph's throat and he turned to confront his brother.

"Until he said it was okay…which he did three weeks ago!"

"Oh, I'm sorry I didn't jump you right away!" Leo told him snarkily. His own anger was starting to bubble. "I didn't realize that it would upset you so much!"

"Considering that ya used ta not be able ta go more than two days without putting yer damn hands on me, yeah, I was fucking upset!" Raph roared, his gold eyes flashing fire. "Hell, now ya don't even look at me!" Extending his right arm, he prodded Leo's chest sharply with his thick forefinger. "And if ya think I'm only pissed 'cause ya ain't been playing hide the wiener with me, than yer even stupider than I thought!"

Wrapping his fingers around Raph's, the eldest put an end to the assault. "Well, why don't you enlighten me then Raphael? Because I have no idea what's wrong with you!"

"That's my point, Leonardo!" the taller turtle sneered. "Ya ain't got a fucking clue about what's going on with anything 'cause yer so damn checked out! Ya don't talk ta me! Ya don't hang out with me! Every time I try ta get yer attention, it's always 'I'm busy!' or Not now!' or some other lame ass excuse ta be alone! Ya ain't gave a shit about us since we went up against Shredder and if ya don't care then why should I?!"

Raph was panting by the time he finished shouting. His passion fueled words hit Leo hard. Eyes wide with sudden clarity, the leader was left completely speechless. He opened his mouth several times to issue a reply, but his brain always aborted the message before he could deliver it. Patience gone, Raph pulled his hand away and pivoted back towards the door. The threat that his mate was leaving, possibly for good, spurred Leo to action. He lunged, seized Raph by the shoulders, spun him, and drove him shell first into the door with a loud thud. Raph's growling deepened.

"Let go, Leo…" he warned.

"Raph…" Leo said, increasing his grip as his captive began to twist and squirm in protest. "…please, Raph…just stop and listen to me!"

"Why should I?!"

"Because I'm asking you to!"

Angry as he was, Raph found himself curious about what his brother had to say. He stopped struggling, but his scowl did not fade. Leo met the fierce gaze fearlessly.

"Raph…I'm sorry," he started cautiously. "I didn't mean to neglect you." His hold on his younger brother loosened. "I just…" He lowered his head as he considered how he should phrase his explanation. Eventually, he settled for some version of the truth, knowing that Raph wouldn't be satisfied unless he offered an excuse. "…I guess I got too used to having to spend my nights alone again." Leo's hands fall to Raph's waist to slip beneath his belt. Manipulation was not beneath the honorable ninja and he knew exactly how to work the hothead. "It's like I'm in a state of withdrawal…I went from having an endless supply of you to quitting cold turkey…"

Raph was onto Leo's ruse in half a second. Reaching down with his right hand, he grabbed onto his belt which Leo was currently untying.

"Don't ya try ta weasel yer way outta this, Leo!" he scolded, another growl rumbling from his throat. "There's something else going on with ya and I'm insulted that ya think I don't know it!"

"No, there isn't," the blue-masked ninja insisted. Despite Raph's tight grip, Leo managed to pull the belt free and dropped it on the floor. He then took a step closer to relieve his brother of the bundle of clothing he was still carrying. "I promise."

"Yer lying ta me," Raph accused, his resistance decreasing when he felt Leo's hip graze his.

He watched as all of his spare gear joined his discarded belt. Fingers closed around his wrists, lifting and pinning them to the door on either side of his body. When next he blinked, Leo had pressed up against his plastron.

"No, I'm not," the leader denied, bringing his mouth close to his subordinate's.

"Dammit, Leo," Raph cursed as he turned his head to the side. His loins had started to rouse. Leo was getting to him and he hated it. "Knock that off."

"Come on, Raphie…" Leo cooed. He trailed his lips along his brother's strong, stubborn jaw line. "…let me make it up to you…"

The nickname was his undoing. It sounded like an angel's beckon coming from Leo's mouth. If Raph hadn't been so sex starved, he might have been able to resist. Instead, he turned his head back and dove into the kiss that Leo had waiting for him.

Raphael's threatening growl turned possessive. His fingers curled and uncurled in agitation while straining his arms against the force that held them to the door. Breaking free, he wrapped them around his brother's lower shell. Leonardo grunted from the sudden tight embrace and latched onto the other ninja's hips.

As their tongues twisted and twirled around each other, Leo's mind was filled with pleasant memories of previous trysts with Raph. His stomach knotted from guilt over delaying their reunion beneath the sheets. The feeling was fleeting though, soon replaced by a burning desire to take the younger turtle before him. Sliding his hands down and around, Leo groped Raph's firm ass cheeks in an effort to move things along. Lost in lust, he paid no heed to the fingers drifting up his shell until a couple of them brushed the area where his carapace had broken off. It was both an unexpected and unpleasant sensation that made Leo tear his lips away from Raph's with a loud gasp.

"Shit…Leo…m'sorry…" Raph apologized breathlessly, lifting his hands away immediately. He scanned his brother's face, looking for any indication of pain. "Ya okay?"

"I'm fine," Leo answered hastily. "It just felt weird."

Any further questions of concern went unasked as the katana-wielder kissed the sai-wielder again. Raph returned his hands to Leo's shell, but made sure to avoid the damaged location. He hummed as a bold finger snuck under his tail and started tracing circles around his puckered entrance. His hidden cock swelled beneath his plastron, ready to be released. Shifting his hips, Raph felt Leo's own arousal press into his thigh.

While their lips were still locked, Leo stepped away from the door taking Raph with him. He maneuvered his sibling across the bedroom floor and stopped when the back of Raph's legs touched the bed. Placing his hands on Raph's shoulders, Leo pushed him into a sitting position thus ending their prolonged kiss.

Raph kept his eyes on Leo as his big brother finished undressing him. Once he was completely naked, Leo sent him off with a kiss and he scooted back across the mattress. Digging around in the drawer of the nightstand, Raph found and extracted the bottle of lube it contained. In the time that it took for him to do that, Leo had stripped and crawled onto the bed. His naked body hovered above Raph's but for a moment before a strong arm snaked around his waist and brought him crashing down into his mate.

Leo let his little brother take control of their kissing while he robbed the lube from the hothead's hand. The tight hold Raph had on him made moving difficult, but Leo managed to slide partway off of the larger turtle without losing lip contact. One gentle nudge was all it took for Raph to spread his legs. Uncapping the lube, Leo mentally swore as it dribbled onto the sheets. After some fumbling, he succeeded in getting a generous amount of the slick substance on his fingers which he quickly brought to Raph's tailhole. Leo glossed over the ring of muscle, wetting it adequately, then began to press a finger past the barrier.

The emerald turtle moaned happily when he was breached. Only Leo knew how much he liked to bottom and that was a shared secret they would take to the grave. Bending his right knee, he planted his foot flat on the mattress to encourage his brother to probe further.

Leonardo's first finger slipped in all the way to the third knuckle. As he caressed Raph's warm passage, he worked in a second digit. He gently stretched his brother by scissoring his two fingers, pushing them as deep as he could. In his exploration, Leo happened upon the bundle of nerves buried far inside Raph. The leader took great delight in massaging it and making the other ninja shudder with pleasure. Cock fully exposed, rock-hard, and leaking pre-come, Raph couldn't have been more ready. He reached down and grabbed hold of Leo's wrist to pull his hand away.

"…Leo…please...want ya so bad…" the hothead huffed, staring straight into his brother's dark brown eyes. "…please…"

Surprised, Leo arched an eye ridge. Raph might be submissive, but he never pleaded like that. The corners of Leo's mouth curled into a smile.

"So, to hear you beg all I have to do is make you wait nine weeks?" he asked, unable to resist taunting the needy turtle.

"And three days," Raph replied saucily. "Now wipe that stupid smirk off yer face and fuck me, ya jerk."

"That sounds more like the Raphie I know," Leo chuckled and placed a soft peck on his brother's cheek.

The eldest shifted again, this time to kneel between the younger's thighs. Leo picked up the lube and squeezed a large dollop onto his palm. Quickly stroking his now exposed cock, he tossed the half-empty bottle aside and moved closer to his mate. He only paused long enough to align the tip of his throbbing member with Raph's loosened entrance before sticking it in.

"…fuck…yes…" Raph groaned as Leo slowly filled him. "…keep going, Leo…"

Gripping his sibling's hips, Leo drove in to the hilt. For the second time that night, he berated himself for ignoring his lover for so damn long. Raph's ass always felt incredible, but it seemed especially tight now – most likely from lack of use. Heart rate increasing, Leo pulled his cock out almost completely and shoved it right back in. Over and over, he repeated the motion, gaining speed and power gradually.

"Are you happy now?" Leo questioned, leaning in to bite at Raph's neck.

"…nngh…" the sai-wielder grunted as he felt the teeth sink in. "…I'd be a helluva lot happier if ya'd move faster."

"Your wish is my command," Leo replied and did exactly what was suggested.

Each jarring thrust made Raph's stiff shaft bounce around. Wrapping a hand around his thick dick, Raph stroked it with an eager rhythm. Every drill into his prostrate force a fresh spurt of pre-come out of the tip. Raph used the natural lubricant to aid his masturbation. A pleasant pressure built at the base of his cock and spread outward to the rest of his body.

"Leo…Leo…Leo…" Raph chanted as his climax loomed nearer. "…oh, god…Leo…"

It thrilled the leader to no end hearing his name called repeatedly. His breath came in short gasps as he humped even harder, wanting to send both Raph and himself into ecstasy. Gripping the back of Raph's right knee, Leo pushed his brother's leg up towards his chest which allowed him to drive his cock in further still.

"Holy shit!" the hothead swore loudly. He couldn't recall having ever been fucked so deeply before. "Shit…Leo…nngh…"

Leonardo's mind was going blank, fried by the flood of hormones coursing through his bloodstream. Nine weeks was too long to go without sexual release even for such a self-controlled teen. The leader came hard, emptying rope and rope of potent seed into his sibling's glorious ass.

"R-ahhh-ph!" he cried out as he was blinded by his passion.

His hips continued to roll, knowing that the other turtle had yet to be relieved. It wasn't a long wait. Being pumped full of Leo's hot cum was the last bit of stimulation Raph needed.

"Oh, Leoooo…" he lowed when his orgasm hit.

Arching his back, Raph's swollen cock released a healthy, white load into the air. The thick stream spattered across both his and Leo's plastrons. His whole body rattled, barely able to withstand the shock to his nervous system.

Cock milked dry, the katana-wielder collapsed on top of his brother. Both turtles' chests were heaving and sweat caused their bodies to stick together. Somehow, Raph found the strength to lift his arms and hold his lover close in a snug embrace. Ten minutes passed before either one of them could speak.

"Happy now?" Leo wondered, whispering the question in Raph's ear.

"Mmmm…" the hothead mused and turned his head so that he was face to face with his brother. "…yeah."

The small gap between them sealed as Raph kissed his big brother. While their tongues were reacquainted, some of his prior concerns returned to his head and he felt compelled to voice them now.

"Hey, Leo…"

"What?"

"…you and me…we're a sure thing…ain't we?"

Leonardo stared at his brother while his mind trying to process the question. Lifting a hand, he gently caressed the hothead's cheek and smiled at him reassuringly.

"Of course we are," he replied. Resting his forehead against Raph's, he gave an honest proclamation of his feelings. "I love you, Raphie."

Raphael smiled as a strong sense of relief overwhelmed him. "Love ya, too, Fearless."

It was Leo's turn to kiss his brother. In no time, their exchange had heated to a steamy make-out session. Arousal regenerated, Leo sat up, straddling Raph's broad lap.

"Ready for the next round?" the blue-masked ninja asked.

"Hell, ya oughta have enough stamina for at least two more rounds," Raph challenged with a grin while seizing Leo's hips.

"Yeah, but do you?"Leo shot back.

"Well, let's find out," Raph told him.

Leaning up, he captured Leo's mouth once again. The leader wrapped his arms around Raph's shoulders, totally willing and able to make love to him as many times as the night permitted them. But even as they started going through the motions, Leo's mind was distracted. It wandered to that night two months ago where he had led his family in a charge against the Shredder. His incompetency had nearly gotten them all killed.

That same incompetency had nearly cost him Raphael tonight.

What the hell kind of leader was he?

And what the hell kind of lover was he?