Word from the author: So let us get started off with my very first Frozen fic! Just to get this out of the way, the story will be rated M for later chapters and is Elsanna (Elsa/Anna). If you're not into that kind of story I'd suggest not reading the goings on here. It should also be obvious that I do not own the rights to the series or any characters associated with it – that honour goes to Disney.
This first chapter is a bit of downer until the end. Seriously, I love you Anna, I don't mean to be so awful. ;-;
Mending An Icy Break
- Chapter 1-
It was snowing beautiful today, Anna thought, as she watched the white flakes flutter down and blanket the gardens outside the window. The auburn haired girl sat quietly – very uncharacteristic of her – and simply watched the dance of the icy crystals. Natural snow fell differently, she mused, as she watched the lack of uniformity and the variety in shape and size of the white specks.
Thumbing the lace on the edges of her dark emerald winter dress, the girl's aquamarine eyes fixated on the frosted glass in front of her, while she sat on the cushions of the antique chesterfield. It was snowy winter days like these that she found herself most bored; normally she'd be outside, running around the cobblestone streets or crowded docks, admiring the stands and buying random things, but there was no one outside. There was barely anyone moving around the expanses of the massive castle either. It seemed empty. Cold.
Anna turned her head away from the window, shifting her attention back into the room, and looking at the decorative plum coloured rug on the floor, which was embroidered with gold stitching and looked quite expensive. She remembered being scolded once for having spilled a drink on it; she was told it was imported, from overseas, and extremely difficult to replace. The young woman wrinkled her nose, focusing, trying to remember who scolded her that day many years ago.
Her mother, perhaps? Father? Or was it a servant? She couldn't remember. She remembered strange things from her childhood, like the hours she spent in the gallery, admiring and talking to the paintings – they were her friends, after all. But she couldn't remember important things, like the colour of her father's hair, or the soft freckles that adorned her mother's cheeks. She often found herself staring at the painting of her beloved parents, forcing herself to memorize every detail of their face, every contour, blemish and mark.
Yet, the moment she turned away she'd find herself second-guessing what she had remembered, making her question herself. Biting her lower lip, Anna squeezed her hands into fists, tightening until her knuckles blanched. She hated thinking that she was forgetting them, that she was letting them go, losing them. Why did she have to feel so lonely on days like these?
She whipped her head back around, looking back out the massive window, and trying to focus on the snow again. The snow, it was so beautiful when it fell gently like this, on a mild day like today. It wasn't nearly as cold as the young princess felt, she knew that, but she still brought her hands up to her upper arms, wrapping herself into a comforting hug, and rubbing for warmth. She desperately wanted to have someone to talk to, anyone, she hated being alone. There was an unmistakable tightness in her chest, reminding her of that unwelcomed feeling, of loneliness and desperation. This feeling had gotten her into trouble before.
"No, not again," She breathed softly, "I'm happy now. I'm not alone." She reminded, closing her eyes, and trying to focus her thoughts on something other than the crippling feeling in the pit of her stomach. She shifted, drawing her knees up to her chest, leaning into her seat. She hated to admit it, but sometimes this loneliness crept up on her, and made her feel so helpless. She had to remind herself, like a mantra, to not rush into the closest open set of arms. Not again.
The faint sound of footsteps passed outside the closed door, the sound echoing through the halls, and it comforted Anna. She couldn't quite explain it, but just knowing that there was someone else here consoled her, as she relaxed her muscles and loosened up. She hadn't realized how tense she'd been. Her wide eyes turned to the wooden grandfather clock on the far side of the room, noting the time. She smiled faintly, realizing that Elsa had been in her meeting for over an hour, and her older sister couldn't handle being in a room with strange people for much longer than that.
Soon she wouldn't be alone.
The young girl then scolded herself, knowing it was selfish to think this way, relishing in the fact her sister was still uncomfortable (and perhaps fearful) around people. She looked down at her knees and began fiddling with the lace again. She couldn't begin to understand what that was like, what that fear must do to her sister, and how powerless she was to help.
"I love her," Anna commented quietly, as if to argue with the thoughts in her head, "she knows that. And I'll make sure she's safe." The auburn princess smiled a bit, the corners of her mouth curling up. Elsa had to be one of her most favorite people, the one she'd willingly and knowingly risked her life for – a number of times. Maybe they were desperate acts from a desperate girl, who missed her big sister and longed to connect to her. But still, she loved her older sibling, and right now she wanted her company.
Years of staring at and knocking at her sister's bedroom door, receiving no reply at times, built up a feeling of anguish and distress in an adolescent Anna. She couldn't understand why she'd so abruptly been shut out; she spent so much time reviewing the memories of her sister, trying to pin-point when and what she'd done wrong, so she could know what to apologize for. Maybe then Elsa would forgive her, and they could play again.
Many times this would end in tears, as a helpless Anna would sob brokenly, feeling lost. She missed her big sister, and her parents, who seemed to be the only people Elsa would allow into her bedroom.
A number of times, even though she was told not to, Anna would sneak up to Elsa's door and press her ear to the wood. She'd listen, trying to hear voices behind the timber, and a few times she'd hear muffled screams, shouting and sobbing. This scared and confused her, often sending her running back to the safety of her own room, to crawl under the covers of her blankets to cry. The young girl would cry silently into her pillow, never understanding why she was shedding so many tears.
"I don't have to cry anymore," Anna murmured, sniffling and rubbing her cheek with the palm of her hand, not having noticed her eyes had watered, "she's not shutting me out anymore." Sniffling a few more times, and wiping furiously at her eyes, Anna suddenly stood. She wasn't having any more of this, and she forced a confident smile to spread across her lips, inhaling deeply and holding onto it. When she felt like her lungs would burst she breathed, exhaling deeply and stretching. She turned around and faced out the window once more, the snow still falling, reminding her of someone.
"I'll go see her instead!" Anna exclaimed, a little louder than she'd intended, making herself stiffen up and then laugh. Turning on her heel, she strode towards the door, reaching for the handle just as the door was pushed open. "Eep!" She jumped back, eyes widening as she stared.
"Anna?" A soft familiar voice spoke. "I'm sorry, did I hurt you?" Anna blinked dumbly for a moment, taking a moment to register, as a cold hand touched her forearm. "Anna?" The auburn girl shook her head, clearing it, before smiling.
"Elsa!" She chirruped, seeing her sister before her, worried blue eyes on her face. The expression made Anna blink. "Huh? What? Oh! No, you didn't!" She assured, placing her hand over Elsa's, holding it in place. "I was actually coming to see you…save you from the boring assembly."
Elsa continued to stare at her younger sister, her icy gaze falling on Anna's own more summery one. The look confused the princess, and she cocked her head to the side slightly. "What's wrong?" She asked, blinking. Elsa simply extended her hand, wordlessly, and tentatively cupped Anna's left cheek.
"Have you been crying? Your eyes look a little red," The queen spoke softly, her normally stoic demeanor breaking as her emotions leaked through, "are you alright? Are you hurt? Did something happen?" Anna felt her cheeks warm at her sister's delicate touch, leaning gently into it, still overwhelmed whenever she received physical contact from the blonde.
"N-No, nothing happened," The auburn girl replied sheepishly, staring back at her sister, watching as the blonde's eyes scanned her disbelievingly, "I guess I just sort of had a moment?" She answered, biting the inside of her cheek, realizing how stupid that must have sounded.
"A moment," Elsa parroted while giving her sister a look, Anna knew it, "and what was this moment about?"
"Nothing, really," Anna lied, "I was just feeling lonely, I guess." A twinge of guilt squeezed at the queen's heart, and a flash of culpability could be seen in her eyes. It did not go unnoticed by the younger, who quickly shook her head against her sister's palm. "Oh, no, Elsa I mean–! I was just…thinking… and I upset myself! Th-that's all!" Elsa watched her sister for a moment, using the hand that was placed on Anna's forearm to grip it, lurching her sister forwards and enveloping her in a hug.
"Anna…" She murmured softly, sliding one arm around her sister's waist, resting the hand on the small of her back, while the other went around her back and rested on her shoulder blade. "If you ever feel lonely…just…come see me, alright?" Anna had been stiff at first, clearly not used to being embraced so lovingly by the queen, which Elsa did pick up on, only leading her to squeeze gently and turn her head to face away. She rested her chin on Anna's shoulder, taking in her sister's warmth, while trying not to become upset.
"E-Elsa…it's okay, really…" Anna replied, sliding her arms around Elsa's waist, and resting them on her back; she had hugged her sister a few times now, since they returned to Arendelle together, but she still felt herself being taken aback each time they embraced. It wasn't bad, but it felt new, and unexplored. Gingerly, Anna rubbed the open palms of her hands against Elsa's back, both to sooth her elder sister and in an attempt to get a feel for the hug. She liked hugging Elsa, but it felt foreign, and she wanted to grow accustomed to it.
"You promise me, Anna," Elsa breathed softly; Anna could hear the hurt in her voice, and it made her want to comfort her sister all the more, "you promise me you'll come to me if you're lonely." Anna gave a small nod and pressed her hands firmly into Elsa's back, pushing their torsos closer together.
"I promise…," She breathed softly, "Elsa…" She pressed her cheek to her sister's hair; it felt soft and silky, but unmistakably cold. Not a bad cold, mind you, but more like her sister had just come from a brisk walk outside. In fact, Elsa felt cool to the touch in general, but that never seemed to bother Anna.
The queen couldn't help the small smile that curved her rosy lips; she loved her sister, and wanted nothing but happiness for her. But more than that, she wanted to give her sister happiness, and she wanted to hold and coddle her…to make up for years of neglect. She treasured Anna, the only one who never gave up on her, who was always there; the sister that knocked on her door every day, that talked to her through the barrier, and who raced headfirst into an eternal winter to bring her home; the same sister who sacrificed herself to save her. That was Anna, always so selfless, honest and sweet.
Elsa closed her eyes and squeezed back when she felt her younger sister do so, wanting to hold onto her as long as she could; this warmth, that she felt, came from another person…another person who loved her, cherished her, and did not fear her; a person that meant the world to her. Unlike Anna, who only felt Elsa's embrace to be foreign, the ice queen felt all to be. She wasn't used to simple things, like hands on the shoulder, the tussling of hair, or the presence of another leaning into you. And, for the most part, she didn't care for those feelings from others. That was, of course, except for her sister.
"I love you, Anna," The queen murmured, a bit intoxicated by the warm embrace; she hadn't fully realized that the words had escaped her until Anna replied softly.
"I love you too, Elsa." It was the honest truth, she did love her sister, terribly so. She found that, even as a young woman, she was desperate for her sister's attention. She chalked it up to the years they spent apart, and the yearning and the longing that came with it.
Soon realizing they had held the hug for well over two minutes, the girls separated, nearly at the same exact moment. They stood there, in silence, gazes locked before they laughed. It was a nice laugh, a shared one, which felt bubbly and warm.
Anna was the first to take action following the laughter, reaching down to clasp her sister's hands, and giving them a gentle squeeze. "Thank-you Elsa, I do feel better now," She said in earnest, with a sweet smile. Elsa felt her chest warm, a sensation that quickly spread through her body, although it manifested itself differently. It began to snow, lightly, as gentle dance of elegance and beauty. The snowflakes fluttered down, touching to the floor, and quickly melting away. It wasn't a powerful snow, just a light one, which looked stunning.
The princess tilted her head up, smiling. "Oh, doing the magic, I see." She quipped, looking back to her sister, who laughed again.
"You know I can't always help it," Elsa countered, looking up and causing the flurry to suddenly stop, "there, better?"
"I don't mind the snow, I like it," Anna assured, "I've always liked the snow." Elsa smiled, leaning forward to give her sister a small peck on the cheek.
"I know." Anna felt her face burn, a rosy tint staining her freckled skin, as she looked away shyly. Elsa smiled at her younger sister, who always had the cutest mannerisms, before tugging on their joined hands. "Come on, let's get something to eat." Anna nodded her head as the queen released one of her hands, letting Elsa guide her forward by their now entwined fingers.