A/N: Baths always make me feel better about life. How about you?

Sari sat in the steamy waters of the castle bath, her mother and Ayame near her. She kept a towel over herself, as did her mother, while Ayame sat proudly naked, her elbows over the edge of the pool and her head thrown back in pleasure.

"This is exactly what I needed after this week. How does it feel Sari?" Ayame said, tilting her head to look toward her.

"It's nice," Sari spoke quietly, feeling emotionally vulnerable and very confused.

"You know, I used to be the biggest crybaby," Kagome said, smiling gently into the water. "Not necessarily sad tears. Every time my temper flared I would yell, run away, and cry my anger out. Your father sometimes provokes me just so he can see me revert to my emotionally unstable youth." Ayame laughed as Sari risked a glance at her mother.

"Papa likes that part of you?"

"I doubt there's a side to your mother Sesshoumaru doesn't like. It's just what happens when you find your mate. Sure, there are things that make you want to strangle them sometimes," Ayame said, thinking of Koga and shaking her fist a little before relaxing again. "But there's nothing I would change about my mate."

"I agree. Especially with the strangling part," Kagome said and giggled with her friend.

Sari clenched the top of her towel even tighter, sinking down further into the water so the steam might hide her face. She listened to the women go back and forth about things their mates have done to exasperate them, curious as she learned for about a less than graceful side to her father.

"So even when your mates are less than perfect, you're... happy about it?" They looked at her in confusion.

"Sari, no one is perfect, no matter how hard they try or how well they act like it. That's just the nature of life," Kagome said, seeing Sari struggle to process the concept.

"If someone tells you otherwise, send them to me and I'll show them my perfect punch," Ayame said with a toothy grin, making Kagome giggle again before looking back to Sari.

"Humans make mistakes, demons are supposed to be better than that."

Kagome furrowed her brow at her daughter.

"As a human, I take offense to that," Kagome said. "As half human, you should too. Demons aren't better than humans and humans aren't better than demons. Do you think less of me for being human?" Sari's head shot up.

"Never, Mama! That's not what I meant," Sari clenched her jaw and turned her gaze to her reflection in the water. "Demons are supposed to carry themselves better because of our blood, especially those of us with royal blood. We're not just leaders to humans but to other demons as well. We have an obligation to be the best. And when we fail, we bring disgrace to both worlds."

"I think you might be taking the royal responsibility a little too far, Sari," Kagome said, stepping out of the water and putting on a robe. She walked over to the snack cart that awaited them as she continued to address the young demoness. "It's okay to fail. It's how we learn. Demons and humans alike."

Sari was quiet as Ayame joined Kagome and picked their treats from the cart, making sounds of pleasure as they tasted. Her mind was spinning. The idea of Papa being less than the best at anything was unfathomable. He was the son of the Great Dog Demon, Lord of the Western lands. He was unmatched by any demon. But by the way her mother was speaking, Lord Sesshoumaru had flaws that she'd never known.

"Mama?" Sari didn't look at her mother as she spoke, far too raw to look her in the eyes.

"Yes, my pup?" Kagome stepped up behind her, crouching down to listen better.

"Why does Papa hate hanyous so much? Is there nothing I can do to change his mind about me?" she asked, feeling her throat burn once more with emotions. She would not cry this time, she promised herself.

"What?!" Kagome asked, looking stunned as Sari jerked back and turned to look at her.

"Forgive me, Mama. I didn't mean-" she stopped as Kagome held up a hand a gesture mirroring her mate.

"Sari, why do you think your father hates hanyous? Especially his children of all things?" Ayame put her robe on, a shortbread cookie hanging from her mouth as she listened.

"From Jaken," she saw her mother's face go blank for a moment as she continued to listen. "Jaken says Papa hates half-breeds like me and Uncle Inuyasha for our tainted blood. We're human and demon but not good at being either one. We're an abomination. It's worse in Papa's eyes that I inherited so much of your humans side and no talents, unlike Seiya who takes after him so much."

Kagome took a calming breath as she stored that information for later. Offering a hand to Sari, she helped her climb out of the water and put on her robe.

"I didn't realize how big of an idiot Jaken was," Ayame said, nonchalant, around another cookie.

"What do you mean?" Sari asked, sitting in a chair as Kagome pointed, letting her begin to brush out her hair.

"Your father doesn't hate hanyous. He's never hated hanyous. He was once under the misconception that hanyous were weak, but he's learned since then."

"Papa has talked poorly about Uncle Inuyasha since I can remember," Sari said, seeing Ayame laugh.

"Their relationship is complicated, I'll admit. But he doesn't quite hate him, and certainly not because he's a half demon. I wish-" Kagome bit off, and shook her head at herself. "I can't change the past, but we are going to do better as a family moving forward. This explains a lot."

"Jaken was wrong?" Sari asked quietly.

"More like he flat out lied to you. Jaken might hate hanyous-"

"He certainly despises me," she added.

"But your father doesn't seem like the type to me to waste his time hating someone for the circumstances of their birth, something beyond their control."

"Now, your father does have a general disdain for weakness, but being half human doesn't mean you fit that criteria," Kagome said, seeing Sari hesitantly nod. "I doubt he could call you weak after you made him bleed."

"What?" Ayame looked stunned. "I've never seen anyone land a solid blow to Sesshoumaru. Wow!"

Sari frowned.

"I didn't mean to. It was an instinctive reaction. Impulsive. I seem to have a lot of impulse control issues lately," she sighed heavily.

"You're 17. That's pretty normal," Ayame remarked, seeing Kagome nod. She handed Sari a cookie and smiled at her, seeing Kagome set the brush down and step beside the chair.

"Speaking of normal for 17," Kagome had been waiting for the right time to change the subject. Sari bit the cookie as she waited for her mother to continue. "How was that kiss with Yoru the other night?"

Sari gasped and immediately choked on the cookie, leaning forward to cough it out. Kagome pat her back as Ayame offered her a cup of water. She drank and cleared the debris from her throat.

"How did you know?" She asked, turning to look at her with a stunned expression.

"You kissed him in front of everyone! Of course we know," Ayame said and sipped some tea.

"What?!" Sari's brows turned down as she struggled to remember.

"You don't remember healing him with a kiss?" Kagome watched Sari blush hard and shake her head.

"No! I don't remember anything after Naraku hurt Yoru. My eye hurt and my head went fuzzy. Yoru told me when I woke up that my inner beast had taken over and I had healed him but..." she was almost glowing with the blood in her face. Why did Yoru leave out that she kissed him? And in front of everyone!

"If you didn't remember that kiss, then what kiss did you think she was asking about?" Ayame moved to crouch in front of her, resting her chin on her hands with a sly grin. Sari turned even more red.

"... I need to dress," Sari said, jumping up and rushing out the door. The mothers shared an easy laugh. Running from their nosy questions was probably the most normal thing they had ever seen her do.

"I should dress, too. I have a bone to pick with a certain imp."

Sari dressed herself in her room, grateful for a moment alone to compose herself. She couldn't believe how her morning had gone, she thought as she braided her hair. She felt the immediate shame but even more confusion. Papa had comforted her during her breakdown and kissed her head in a very rare display of physical affection.

If she listened to her mother, she supposed it wasn't necessarily that strange. Why would he comfort someone that he hated? Mama did say he didn't like weakness though. Was her breakdown weakness to him?

The more she pondered over it, the more confused she became. Maybe... maybe she should talk to her Papa about it? But if Jaken was right-

Her train of thought was derailed as she heard a knock on her door. She opened it to find her brother on the other side.

"How was your bath?"

"It was nice," she said, feeling awkward. "Seiya, I'm-"

"Nope. No more apologies. I just want answers."

"I'll answer whatever you want to know," she said, turning her gaze down and stepping back to let him inside.

"Mother and Father have called us to come to the study. They wish to speak to us together," Seiya saw what little color she had drain from her face.

Sari nodded and followed Seiya to the study silently. He offered his arm to her, seeing her hesitate but eventually tuck her arm under his so they could walk together. What was only a few minutes worth of walking felt like an eternity. She felt her heart beating faster as they approached the door. Seiya knocked and her father's voice called them in. She wasn't prepared to see the wolf family in the room with her own.

"Mama, Papa," Sari said, bowing respectfully to them and then their guests.

"We'll get out of your way, Sesshoumaru," Koga said, offering his hand to his wife for her to stand up from the settee.

"Please, wait," Sari started. She took a deep breath and bowed heavily. "My hesitation to accept the life debt custom request from Lord Naraku lead to Yoru almost being killed and our lands almost at war. Even if it was a lie that they saved me, I didn't know that at the time. I apologize deeply for my failure."

"It wasn't your failure or your fault. I started all of this. Sari, I'm sorry I revealed your secrets and broke your trust," Yoru spoke, stepping closer to her. "It was never a way to hurt you," he said, remembering how her accusations cut at him. "I thought I was doing what was best for you, but I wasn't considering your feelings and that was wrong." Sari stood upright, a lump in her throat as she looked at Yoru.

"You weren't wrong help my father find me. I shouldn't have had secrets to reveal. I'm sorry I lashed out at you like that," she said quietly.

"Sari, let's all take a seat," Kagome said, seeing Seiya usher her into a chair next to the settee. The wolf family started to leave again but Sari stopped them.

"You want to know why I ran away, right?" Sari asked. She saw Seiya shake his head as he sat beside their mother, everyone settling in for the difficult conversation.

"You cried. You had a breakdown and freaked out. And Yoru made some mistakes and hurt your feelings. And Father saw things you didn't want him to know about. You ran from your problems," Seiya said and looked at her expectantly.

"That's not entirely true," came Yoru's voice. Sari looked down at her hands, feeling vulnerable.

"What do you mean?" Seiya asked.

"She didn't run because of a breakdown. She ran because she felt the breakdown she'd had made her more worthless than she already feels. Am I right?" Yoru asked. He saw her nod while her hands fidgeted with her sleeves.

"Jaken has told me for years that Papa hates half-breeds like me for their weakness. Seiya, you take after Papa so much that you were an exception, and Mama is a human but a powerful priestess. Me? I'm a mess. I can't control my inner demon and I struggle to suppress the power of my warring blood."

Seiya growled, running a hair over his hair.

"Jaken's an idiot," Seiya remarked, echoing Ayame and Kagome's earlier sentiments.

"So Mama told me. But..." she pressed a hand to her chest and took a deep breath. "It's hard to believe that in here after so many years."

Sesshoumaru silently took in his daughter's words. Between what he was hearing now and what Kagome had told him before they started this discussion, Jaken as a big part to play in Sari's self-esteem issues and the disconnect between him and his youngest pup. The imp would be severally punished.

"Sari, you've only ever had basic self defense lessons and yet, training on your own, you managed to make Father bleed. You're amazing," Seiya said.

"When did that happen?!" Koga yelled, stunned. Ayame hushed him, knowing it wasn't the time for that.

"Yet I was easily fooled and ambushed by Lord Naraku and his son," she scowled at the floor, humiliated. Yoru, who had sat to her other side, risked taking her hand in both of his, winning her attention.

"And then you defeated his son, and healed what was likely a fatal wound on me. I'd say you more than made up for being caught off guard by them."

"That's more credit than I deserve."

"If you weren't who you are, my son would be dead," Ayame remarked, Koga nodding in agreement behind her. "There have been rumors about Naraku wanting to gain control of the other lands for years. When he and his son happened upon you while you were running, it just gave them an easier way to try to get what they wanted. I have a feeling that they would have tried something as devious if they had attended the gala as intended."

Sari was quiet as she took in Ayame's words, still not convinced.

"Sari, you understand Jaken lied, do you not?" Sesshoumaru asked her. "I do not think any less of you or Seiya for being less than full demons." She looked up at him and nodded.

"Then what's the problem? Why are you still talking down about yourself when everyone here agrees you're not a wimp or a failure?" Seiya demanded of her, standing up and waving his arms.

"Everything that I am is the very definition of weak. I'm not strong. I can't control my emotions or my powers. I'm always making mistakes. I almost got Yoru killed!" Sari stood to counter her brother in a rare display of rage. "My failure almost threw both of our lands into war! My weakness, my deficiency did that. Maybe Papa doesn't hate me for being a half-breed but I do!" she yelled and gasped, bringing her hands to her mouth.

She hadn't meant to say that. She saw the instantaneous look of pity and sympathy from her mother, a much more disapproving look from her father.

Seiya's heart broke for his sister. It wasn't his intention to provoke her into saying something she wasn't ready to talk about. He started to reach out to her but she shook her head and ran out the door. As he turned back to the group, he heard the young wolf demon growl before chasing after her.

"He really cares for her," Kagome said quietly, Ayame nodding in agreement. Koga sighed, not a big fan of tough conversations like this one.

Sari didn't get far before she felt a hand on her wrist. She stopped as Yoru pulled back on her, fighting to free herself from his grasp. She couldn't bare to face him after her despicable display in the study. That meant nothing to Yoru as he jerked her into his arms and kissed her, pinning their heads together with a hand on the back of her neck.

Her free hand came to his shoulder, intending to push him back. She felt herself holding on instead as he delved deeper into the kiss. Yoru walked her back against the wall, releasing her wrist and wrapping his arm around her waist, holding her body to his. He'd missed the taste of her, his beast calling out to him to not let go this time.

Sari faded into the kiss, feeling much of the tension she felt instantly draining away as he held her. It was no use. She couldn't fight against her feelings for him. It was her own special heaven and hell.

Regardless of his beast's plea, he pulled back, allowing them both a chance to catch their breath. He hadn't intended to kiss her senseless, but it was too late to change it now. She curled her fists into his shoulders and rested her forehead against him.

"Why are you doing this?" she asked, her voice hitching on a quiet sob.

"I still love you, just as much as I know you love me."

"We can't do this, Yoru. I can't bring you down with me," she bit her lip hard, trying to block the wave of emotion crashing against her chest.

"I'll never be stronger than I am with you by my side, Sari," he cupped her cheeks in his hands. "You may hate yourself for now. I'm going to fix that. I'll love you enough for the both of us," he said, hearing her chuckle quietly.

"That was cheesy rubbish," she saw his caring gaze as she pulled back. "Yoru, I'm too broken. It's not your job to fix me."

"That's not your decision to make," he countered.

"But it is Papa's," she pushed him back so she could step away from the wall.

"Then let's talk to him. There's no reason for you to believe he wouldn't accept our union anymore."

"I've made more mistakes in the last few days than I've made in the last few years. I don't have the right to ask anything from either of my parents."

Yoru stopped himself from saying anything else, taking a breath to steady himself and his swirling thoughts.

"I disagree. But now isn't the time. We should go back to your father's study and finish the conversation. It's best to get everything out at once and be done."

Sari nodded, leading the way back. The walk was short and silent, both of them stewing over what had just happened. She had failed to control her emotions and impulses once again. There was no excuse for her.

Yoru opened the door for her, watching her step in and immediately dip into a bow.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have run off. It was-"

"Kagome and I would like to speak with Sari alone," Sesshoumaru spoke. Ayame, Seiya, and Koga said a few pleasantries before exiting the room. Sarah remained in her bowing position, ashamed of herself and unwilling to meet their gazes just yet.

"Sari, come sit," Kagome said, moving to the settee and patting the place beside her, between her and Sesshoumaru. She moved to obey wordlessly.

"No more running," Sesshoumaru ignored the incredulous look his mate gave him over their daughter's head as she nodded.

"Yes, Papa."

"When you were lying in the infirmary after your auras made you collapse, I came back to my study and was furious. I had helped my pup for the moment but had not known she was suffering. I broke several scrolls trying to remain calm. I am not as stoic and emotionally in control as you might believe," Sesshoumaru said quietly, seeing Sari's white knuckled grip on her kimono.

"This Sesshoumaru does not like to repeat himself, so listen closely. There is nothing wrong with you for being a hanyou. Weakness is not as simple as being defeated once or the blood you bare. You are not weak because you have emotions. Being able to embrace those emotions in times of need will make you stronger," he said matter-of-factly as she glanced up at him cautiously.

"Jaken has filled your head with nonsense, a crime for which he will be thoroughly punished. His disdain for half-breeds is not mine. I do not know what other fallacious tripe he preached to you over the years and I accept that as my own failing. I should have paid more attention to how he was teaching you."

"Papa-" he held up a hand to silence her.

"I was raised with a traditional yokai upbringing. That is something that shaped many parts of who I am. But it is not a definition I live by or expect of my pups. Had I listened to the traditional ways, your mother would not be my mate and you would not exist. This Sesshoumaru has high expectations of you and your brother, not because of what you are, but because of who you will also follow your own path to achieve your own success, part of that meaning your own happiness."

Kagome grasped Sari's hand and squeezed it, assuring her daughter as she looked at her sire, her eyes full of wonder and hope.

"Sari, you are wonderful and strong. You're also stubborn and emotional, whether you keep it to yourself or it overflows chaotically like as of late," Kagome spoke gently as Sari turned to her. "I know you feel out of control. Being a teenager is difficult under any circumstance. So let us help you."

Sari sighed heavily.

"I don't know how to let you," Sari admitted, hearing Kagome chuckle.

"Now you sound exactly like your father."

Sesshoumaru snorted indignantly at her, making her chuckle more.

"We can start with training. If I had known you were suppressing such immense powers I would have started training you sooner." She flinched at his words. "You do not wish to hone your skills?"

"If we train, my abilities may become too strong for me to handle. I don't want to hurt anyone losing control. Muso may have been a terrible person and deserved it, but I didn't purify him by choice or skill."

"Training will likely grow your power, but it will also teach you how to stabilize it so you no longer fall short of your own high expectations."

"When can we start?" she asked, feeling her mother squeeze her hand again.

"You have to promise me something, Sari," Kagome started, Sari looking to her once more. She noted her daughter's face was much calmer than it had been in the last day. Not void of emotion but not wild. "From here out, whether it's about your training, your body, your powers, your lessons, anything at all, you need to talk to us. No more of the tough loner act. If your father pushes you too hard, tell him. If Jaken tries to spout anymore garbage that makes you feel less than the Princess of the Western lands, tell me so I can purify his tongue off," Kagome threatened darkly, hearing Sesshoumaru chuckle. Both of these actions startled Sari a bit, but she nodded her agreement.

"I'll tell you. If I"m supposed to be honest, I should tell you something else I"ve been keeping from you," she sighed.

"Go on. Better to tell us now. And I fully support it, by the way," Kagome whispered the last part with a wink. Sari cocked her head to the side in puzzlement.

"You knew about my eye?"

"Huh?" Kagome had been expecting an admission of feelings about Yoru. Clearly she'd missed the mark.

"I cannot see out of my right eye. I haven't been able to for several years, around the time I started jumping the castle wall to train."

"Did you injure yourself training?" Sesshoumaru asked as Kagome cupped her cheeks and examined the eye.

"No. I just woke up one morning and I was unable to see. I was afraid you would see it as another weakness so I kept it to myself. I've learned to function without it," Sari said, turning back to Sesshoumaru as her mother released her.

"Come to me," her father ordered, standing up. She stood and stepped before him.

Sesshoumaru tilted Sari's head back to look into her eye. He had several assumptions as to why she had lost her vision, though he would need to conduct some research to confirm it for himself.

"Your eye bothered you as your beast took over, likely relating to the cause of your blindness as well. Have you had any pain since I assuaged it?"

"No, Papa. My eye tends to hurt when the battle of my auras intensifies, but most of my body hurts then anyways."

"Intensifies?" Kagome sent Sesshoumaru a concerned look as he released Sari's chin and gestured for her to sit once more. "Sari, how often do your auras battle each other?"

"I've never known them to stop fighting, Mama. It doesn't always hurt as bad as you saw the other day."

"I see," she said, petting back her hair. "I think we've covered a lot for today. Go find something relaxing to do. You're still recovering. And come to us if you want to talk more, okay?"

Sari stood and bowed to both of them before she started for the door. She hesitated a moment before looking back, seeing them looking back at her.

"Thank you. I promise to be better," she said, hurrying out the door.

Kagome stood and moved into Sesshoumaru's waiting arms. As she settled into his lap she felt the low rumble he used to comfort her, already feeling better.

"I didn't know. She's been physically in pain for years and I had no idea. I knew she struggled to express herself, but so much was built up ..."

"We aren't going to linger on the past. As Sari said, we'll be better. There is much more we can do to help her now that we've had this talk."

"Do you realize she's still holding back?" Kagome asked, pulling back to see his face.

"You mean Yoru." His face went blank in thought.

"They are smitten with each other, Sesshou. She wouldn't talk to me and Ayame about it in the bath. Her feelings for him are strong but it troubles her."

"There would be no point in dragging Yoru into her life with her being so worthless." Kagome's face darkened.

"She's more than worthy and Yoru is a perfectly acceptable-" Sesshoumaru held up his hand.

"It is merely a guess of how she feels based on our conversation today. It is not what This Sesshoumaru knows to be true." Kagome immediately settled, knowing he was right, and snuggled back into him.

"Our poor girl."

A/N: Penny for your thoughts?