There was a time when people didn't believe in darkspawn. With the Blight ended, they'll forget again soon enough. We thought we understood them, that the archdemon was the worst of it. With it dead, the darkspawn would be little more than mindless animals. We were wrong.

The taint could take people too – humans, elves, even dwarves. I'd seen the effects firsthand. I'd seen people I love bound to the archdemon's song. There was only one way out: a quick death. But I couldn't even manage to give them that.

Duncan was the first. That's how we knew that something had changed. I can't say why we went back to Ostagar again. The first two times hadn't ended well. But Alistair, my partner – maybe he figured that with the Blight over, we could finally lay those memories to rest.

Duncan should have been immune; all Grey Wardens are, at least for the first thirty years. But Alistair said he had already begun to show signs, even before I'd met him. He'd been planning his final trip into the Deep Roads. I suppose now I understand the reason for that. No one's ever seen an old Grey Warden. But it doesn't kill them. No, that would be a blessing. I wonder how many of them are down there still.

I don't know how he survived but – whatever happened – he had managed to make it though the battle, elude the darkspawn that came after. But there is no hiding from the taint once it's in your blood. And, by the time we found him, he was something else.

Like I said, I'd seen the taint. We both had. But that wasn't Duncan. When he came striding into our camp that night, he looked exactly as I remembered him – proud, vibrant, smiling with some secret that we couldn't possibly guess. It was more than just the shadows. I thought I was dreaming.

And when he attacked us... well, I panicked. Blessed Mythal, he was quick. Strong. Certain. The only thing he shied from was our fire, but I didn't notice it at the time. It was only by chance that there were still weapons lying half-buried in the mud, only chance that Alistair's hand happened to fall upon a dagger made of silver. Softer than steel, I'm not sure who would have wanted such a weapon, but it did the trick. Alistair was never quite the same after that.

With the archdemon gone, those who were tainted were freed from its song. Darkspawn have always been mindless creatures, but those who had minds of their own before... you'd hope they'd become themselves again. And you'd be wrong.

They're quicker than us. Stronger than us. Fire, silver and daylight are the only weaknesses that we have found. I suppose I should thank the Creators that we have any advantage at all. Because, unlike their darkspawn cousins, the tainted didn't return to the ground. That had never been their place. I once heard of a woman who simply returned home after the Blight. The song might have been gone, but the hunger never left her. Half the village was dead before some lucky archer chanced to strike her with a lighted arrow.

Most of them make new lives, though, reveling in their hunger, their power. But they can be killed. And I have to say, we're getting pretty good at it.

Sometimes I wonder if it's not a futile effort. There seem to be more of them these days, as if the taint is spreading. For me and Alistair, it's too late. In twenty more years – twenty-five if we're lucky – we'll be just like them. We won't let it get that far, of course. We've sworn to end it for each other when the time comes. And – Creators preserve me – sometimes I pray that I go first.

But first, I have a debt to pay.

I wonder if he's out there. I wonder if he knows that I'm hunting him. I said I'd seen the taint before. I said I'd lost someone I love. His name was Tamlen.

He came to us much like Duncan had, but this was during the Blight, when the archdemon still held its sway. Tamlen. The withered, pitiful thing that collapsed at my feet couldn't have been the boy that I had known. But never could I forget that voice, rasping but so familiar, begging me to make an end to it. I held him there on the edge of camp, listening to his pleas, crying with him… but I failed him. I failed them all.

Wynne came and knelt beside us, thinking to offer healing. But Tamlen... Tamlen stirred at the smell of her and, before I realized what was happening, he had torn out her throat. Then he was in the camp. He cut through my people – warrior, mage, assassin, it made no matter – before I could catch my breath. And I... I let him.

I can only guess that he left Alistair and I because we're Grey Wardens. We're tainted already and would join him soon enough. But the others...

I ran and Alistair followed. I don't even know what happened to them, couldn't even bear to see what I had done. But I know they're out there. I've had word of them, every one.

And that's why we do what we do. That's why we hunt our friends. Before this curse takes me, I swear that I will find them. I swear that I will give them the clean death that I should have given them long ago. And Tamlen... I loved you most of all. Know that I'm coming for you. Know that you're going to die.

My name is Tia Mahariel and I'm a Grey Warden. I'm guilty, tainted and someday I might be just like the rest of them. But not today.