A/N: hi guys! here i am with yet another on-going series of one-shots with friends-with-benefits naruhina because i love pain! this ficlet came to be as a result of my sudden desperation to read an angsty, semi-fluffy, mutual pining naruhina fic where they misunderstand the hell out of each other and break their own hearts trying to fix smtg that was never broken. having been unable to find one yet, my dumb ass went and decided to write one myself as a treat so here i am sharing the ruins of my naruhina soul with you, fellow masochists. pls be prepared to read some very, very frustrating unrequited romance with intense pining and jealousy, sprinkled with a sweet mix of fluffy friendship shenanigans and meddling from underrated characters.

Summary : Hinata knew many things about Naruto Uzumaki. She knew that his heated glances meant 'I want you'; that lingering touches whispered 'please', and that the sight of his back to her screamed 'leave'. But she couldn't tell you what they were to each other even if you held a knife to her throat. [NaruHina friends-with-benefits, canon-divergent AU with ANBU!Hinata, jealous Naruto and intense mutual pining.]

PART 1

Chapter 1: Hyuuga Hinata

Summary : They've been sleeping with each other for the past nine months when the dam finally breaks.

~oOoOo~

Hinata panted, her chest heaving as she tried to catch her breath. Her pale eyes were glazed and unfocused, lids heavy with exhaustion and pleasure. She stifled a small smile when a familiar warmth encircled her waist, tugging her to her equally sated lover.

Hot breath tickled the nape of her neck as the village's resident hero whispered against her skin, "Stay the night, Hinata."

She held back a shiver at the feeling of his fingers running down her bare sides. A grimace stretched her lips, bitten red by the blond man behind her.

He needed to stop saying that. It just made things more complicated than they needed to be. And Hinata - like a true Hyuuga - liked things to be simple and straightforward.

Her life was almost perfect as it was, and she didn't want the little moments she could have with him to become a complication.

She breathed in sharply when Naruto pressed a kiss between her shoulder blades, a well acquainted ache spreading against her ribs as she gently leaned away from him.

"You know I can't," she murmured, her hands bunching up the sheets that he had tucked her into mere minutes ago. The indigo-haired kunoichi sat up, letting out a quiet moan at the soreness in her thighs before she stood up, stretching languidly as she left the comfort of the bed.

There was a rustle behind her and she knew that he had propped himself up on his left elbow, his blue eyes probably staring at her naked body while she looked for her clothes. The Hinata from nine months ago would have blushed beet red before rushing out the door, embarassment flooding her at the mere thought of looking so...vulnerable before the man she had been in love with all her life.

The Hinata now - who had somehow managed to sleep with the same blond hero she could barely speak to without fainting as a child - merely shot a stern look at the cheeky man leering at her. He snorted at the scolding glare she attempted and she pouted, her fingers deftly reclasping the hooks of her bra before picking up her underwear, which had been unfortunately hanging over the table lamp on Naruto's bedside table.

Despite having done this so many times she had lost count, she still flushed at the sight of her lacy panties dangling so casually on the lamp fixture.

Light conversation and soft peals of laughter filled the silence of the room as she got dressed, her favourite purple sweater sliding over her head at last. She was chiding him playfully at a particularly snide comment he was making regarding Sai when he suddenly fell silent.

Hinata turned to look at the man who had brought her to nirvana fifteen minutes ago and smiled. The odd sight of him sitting on the edge of his bed, his expression carefully blank as he stared at the ground caused her to falter.

"Naruto-kun, is something wrong?" she asked worriedly. He should have been tangled in his sheets sleeping by now. And normally, she would have stayed with him until he fell asleep before slipping out of his bed to go home, but Neji had been a bit paranoid about her late returns recently. She didn't want to raise any suspicions about their...relationship? Affair? Transaction?

Nine months into this and Hinata still had no idea what 'this' even was. She knew that a heated glance from her long-time crush meant 'let's go to my apartment'; she knew that a lingering touch on her shoulder meant 'I want you' and she knew that the first snore he let out meant 'you can leave'.

But she didn't know what to call the 'thing' they had, even after so many hours of getting to know each other in the most intimate ways possible.

Hinata sighed.

She walked towards the blond man, her cheeks pinking a little at the expanse of rippling muscle that greeted her when he looked up. She may be twenty and moderately experienced in sex now, but she was still only human.

"Naruto-kun?" she asked again, hands reaching out to touch his forehead to check for a fever.

Her eyes widened when she noticed how hot his skin was. There was a fierce blush on his face and he couldn't meet her eyes.

"You're burning up!" Hinata scrambled to the kitchen to get him a glass of water, grabbing a clean cloth from his dresser and wetting it with cold water before rushing back to his side.

She placed the glass into his hand. "Here, you need to drink some water," she said, gently patting his forehead with the damp cloth. "I can't believe you didn't tell me you were sick! Oh God, I probably made your fever worse -"

His hand shot up to grasp her wrist. "I'm fine," he gritted out and Hinata frowned.

"But you -"

"It's nothing," he snapped harshly, startling the Hyuuga heiress.

She took a step back warily. "Oh, alright," she mumbled. "I'll just -"

"No! Stay!" he blurted out and she looked at him quizzically, her instincts telling her to call Sakura to check up on her teammate.

Naruto buried his face into his hands. "This is a mess," he groaned, frustration evident in the tensing of his shoulders. "I shouldn't have done this. Sakura told me not to and I should have just listened to her in the first place, goddammit."

Hinata felt her body go cold.

"Oh," she said dumbly.

Bright blue eyes looked into hers with a desperation she couldn't understand. "I've been going about this all wrong, Hinata. I spoke to Sakura and she agreed that this was a mistake." he spoke, his words jumbling together so quickly she could barely keep up.

All she could register was the words he had said seconds ago.

This is a mistake.

She watched his lips move but she couldn't hear anything past the ringing in her ears.

This is a mistake.

Hinata watched him shake his head and look away, his hand coming up to rub at the back of his neck in the way he always did when he was uncomfortable.

She backed away from him, lips parted.

Was he finally ending their deal?

Had he finally decided after months of casually seeing each other that he would start courting Sakura seriously? She knew that they had been spending a lot more time together lately, and she'd heard from some of the Hyuuga women she shopped with that they had spotted the two getting cosy on a late-night ramen date.

" - think we should end this," he said finally, looking so determined that she couldn't bear to stay in the room any longer.

Hinata's hand trembled in his grip and she tore herself away, her eyes welling up with tears. She blinked them back and turned her back to him.

If he was going to end this, she was at least going to maintain some semblance of dignity. She was a Hyuuga, after all. And the Hyuuga were not known for their infamous stoicism for nothing.

She breathed in. "I agree," she said, raising her chin as she faced the door.

"You do? For real?!"

Her heart clenched at how happy he sounded. Tears pricked at her eyes as humiliation flooded her.

How long had he been dying to break this unspoken contract they had?

How long had she laid in his bed when he had been thinking of another girl in her place?

She curled her palms into fists, her nails digging so tightly into the flesh that she nearly drew blood.

Hinata bit back the sob that threatened to escape and plastered the most genuine smile she could muster before turning around to face him.

The utter joy in his face would have shattered her if she hadn't already been broken.

She nodded in response to his previous questions, hoping he wouldn't notice the redness of her eyes.

"I think this was a mistake too," she agreed, shutting her eyes momentarily. "We should have stopped this a long time ago."

When she opened them, she shot the man she had loved so wholly, so intimately, a bright smile. He deserved to be happy. And if he couldn't find that with her, then that was her burden to bear. How could she ever take away his chance at happiness when all she had ever prayed for was for him to be able to find the love he had always, always deserved?

"Thank you for taking care of me all these months, Uzumaki-san," she said, proud of how steady she sounded. She was so preoccupied with maintaining her composure that she missed how Naruto was very rapidly losing his own.

"What - I - " he stammered, blue eyes so open and wide. He clenched them shut and gritted out, "I'm sorry, Hinata. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."

Hinata nodded, pale eyes shining as she opened his door. "It's alright! You don't have to explain," she assured him as she stepped out into the hallway, pieces of her heart slowly being trampled with each step she took away from him. "It was fun while it lasted anyway."

When the door closed shut, she fled.

By the time she collapsed in her own bed, her tears have long since dried on her cheeks, the pain in her heart shriveling the muscle into a dense, unfeeling rock.

She clutched her pillows, breathing in Naruto's musky smell that lingered on her sweater before ripping it off.

She dumped it into the laundry basket along with her other clothes, her hands shaking. Hinata tucked herself into her futon, her arm thrown over her face as she tried to force sleep to come.

She squeezed her eyes shut, only to be met with the memory of blue eyes and whiskers.

Hinata rolled over to her stomach, burying her face into her pillow. A sense of dread filled her stomach when she thought about her feelings for the blond.

Sixteen years of hopelessly pining after a man who remained blind to her affections, choosing to chase after a woman who wouldn't give him the time of the day.

She was so, so tired of chasing his shadow, trying to catch up so desperately when he wasn't even waiting for her.

Hinata let a tear trail down her cheek.

So many years of loving a person to the point where she barely knew who she was without him. What had she even become?

The kunoichi shook her head. She wasn't a child anymore. And she wasn't going to waste more time forcing her love on someone who didn't want it.

Kiba and Shino had always told her that she deserved more than he could offer and Hinata was slowly beginning to open her eyes to the fact.

It was past time she moved on.

Note 1: thanks for reading! leave me a review to lemme know what you liked, disliked or just to yell at me for breaking poor hina's heart :)