A/N: You're reading fanfiction so as you might have guessed I'm neither JK Rowling nor Masashi Kishimoto. I don't own anything in here that you recognise from their stories:)

Chapter 1: Naruto Uzumaki AKA the bane of Ollivander and his parents' peace of mind

There was dumb, and then there was retarded. Mikano's twin definitely classified for the latter category. This was one of many things Sasuke Uchiha and she agreed on.

Okay, maybe Naruto wasn't actually that stupid - though he certainly acted it sometimes!

"I swear, he's a downright embarrassment in public," Mikano huffed. The sky was blue with lots of puffy white clouds. Lying on your back on the roof of one of Konoha's many tall buildings made for the perfect vantage point to pick out shapes.

"Hn."

"I've seriously considered pretending not to know him at Hogwarts."

"I sure am."

"Ha." While Mikano knew Sasuke very well might go through with it, she never could. Despite Naruto's more obnoxious sides, she loved him too much not to own it. Though she did wish he would tone it down a bit.

"I think he almost killed Mr Ollivander yesterday," Mikano continued, and without waiting for Sasuke's reply began recounting the events.

The bell above Ollivanders' front door hadn't even stopped chiming before Naruto ran forward, almost knocking over his dad, and poked his head over the shop's counter. He was wearing the ugly orange and blue jumpsuit that clashed horribly with his blond, spiky hair as always, and black sandals that gave him lots of bounce as he jumped excitedly up and down trying to get a better look at the back of Ollivianders' front desk. A hand grabbed the collar of his jacket and pulled him back.

"Naruto, will you please behave," said Kushina in a dangerous tone that indicated that this was not the first time such a request had been voiced. She kept a tight grip on her son's jacket as she called out, "Mr Ollivander?"

A squeaked, "Coming!" and a rustle were heard from the back of the shop which looked more like an ancient library than a place where you sold things, except with small boxes on the shelves instead of books. A tiny wizard in robes that looked as ancient as the man himself appeared among the shelves after a moment.

"Ah, first wands, I reckon?" He clapped his wrinkly hands together with an excited gleam in his eyes. His voice was high and crusty. "Yes, yes, I have already had two Hogwarts students-to-be come by today! Always a lot of business in July." He winked and beckoned Mikano's dad closer with a finger. Minato smiled politely and presented Mr Olliviander with the wand he had just procured from a wand holster attached to his forearm.

"Hmm, stylish, stylish, though not one of mine," he mumbled glancing at the wand holster, "a shinobi, I reckon. Now, let's see…" He looked at the wand intently, gently turning it between his fingers. "Yes, of course. Twelve and a quarter inches, pear and unicorn. Nice and bendy. A versatile wand, powerful but with a gentle temper, yes, yes. Well-used, I can tell, but also well taken care of…" He handed back the wand with a satisfied nod then turned to the other adult who was still occupied with restraining the blond boy who had now taken an interest in the wands on display in the windows facing the bustling street outside.

"May I?" he asked. Kushina handed over Naruto's jacket collar to her husband then let her wand shoot into her hand with a flick of the wrist. This time the old man made no comment, simply accepting the wand with a hum.

"Ten and a half inches, hawthorn and dragon heartstring. A wilful combination. Unyielding, to be expected," he said, mostly to himself. "A good match for a fierce witch." He gave back the wand with a broad smile. "Now, shall we? The young man first perhaps?"

"Naruto, come here," Kushina called out, "it's wand time."

At this point, Mikano, who had so far been quietly inspecting a selection of wand holsters on the left side wall, snorted and turned around to face her family. Ollivander noticed.

"Or perhaps the young lady first?" He motioned for her to come closer. "Why not, why not." Mikano complied, her pursed lips not entirely masking the excitement in her storm grey eyes. A wand! She had barely been able to sleep last night for nervous anticipation. Of course, it hadn't helped that Sasuke had gotten his a whole week ago.

(Sasuke snorted.)

A measuring tape popped into existence at a wave of Ollivander's wand, and it began taking measurements up and down her body. While this was happening, Olliviander tapped his lips with a knobbly finger as he stared raptly at his subject. Then he turned around with an abrupt movement and started down one of the shelf aisles while muttering to himself. He returned with a box as the measuring tape snapped shut and disappeared in with a puff.

"Elm and dragon heartstring. 10 inches, very supple." He opened the case and let Mikano pick up the wand inside. As she gave it a little flick, a string of thick smoke slouched from the wand tip and spiralled towards the floor.

"No!" The old man deftly snatched back the wand, returning it to its package as he disappeared among the shelves again. Mikano shifted, biting the inside of her cheek until Olliviander quickly returned with three new boxes.

"Elm! What was I thinking! Now, here is a nice ash wand, unicorn tail, eleven inches, a little on the stiff side. Pick it up!" She had barely touched the wood before also this wand was picked from her grip with a hearty chuckle. Ollivander kept bringing new wands till a minor mountain of boxes was piled on his counter. His initial failure to find Mikano a match did not seem to dissuade him in the least. Rather, with every case he brought, he seemed to become more animated.

Then, as she tried what seemed to Mikano to be the hundredth wand, an idle swish made a flock of tiny, chirping bluebirds flutter from the wand tip. She beamed excitedly at her dad who had been watching, unable to contain her happiness as a deep feeling of recognition and rightness shuddered from her wand arm through her body.

"Eleven inches, flexible, cherry wood and phoenix feather. Independent qualities from both the cherry and phoenix, powerful, powerful indeed. Requires a strong mind to master," he glanced at Mikano, old eyes appraising, "which should not be an issue… yes, yes, a good match I suppose." He nodded. "Now to the other one. Where…" Naruto was nowhere in sight.

"NARUTO!" Kushina yelled. A mighty crash sounded from the deep interior of the wand shop.

Their mum moaned. "Sir, I am so sorry…" Then she ducked around the counter and started towards the crash that had just sounded. An awkward silence ensued with the ancient Olliviander gripping the edge of his counter looking a little pale.

A number of thumps and exclamations were heard from behind the shelves and finally Kushina whose face was now the same colour as her hair emerged dragging her son behind her by the shoulder of his jacket.

"I know we should have put a leash on him," she told Minato, then turned to the wandmaker. "Sir, I am terribly sorry. I have no idea what he was doing back there but it is quite a mess. A shelf fell over and there are boxes all over the floor - I am not sure if anything broke, but either way, we will of course pay for…"

Ollivander broke her off with a wave. "No matter, accidents happen." He stared at the little blond delinquent who was sporting an unrepentant grin, arms stubbornly crossed in front of his chest. "I know just the wand for you," Ollivander said pensively and trotted away into the labyrinth of shelves. Then a muffled yell was heard.

"Quite a mess, yes," he said a little weakly as he returned with a box under his arm. "Now, young man, try this one out! I'm rather sure…" he stopped. "This is not English oak. This is not-" he snapped the box shut, nearly catching Naruto's fingers. "Boy!" His voice was shrill, "what, exactly, were you doing back there?"

"Just a prank," Naruto said in a singsong voice; the tone that made Mikano want to strangle him.

"Just a prank! Switching around the wands! Never have I…" the old man trailed off, fuming. "No, no English oak for you, oh no." He turned on his heel and marched towards the right wall. He used a ladder to nimbly reach the highest shelf from which he drew out a box.

Mikano tucked one of Naruto's blond spikes. Hard.

"You're such a clown, naphat," she whispered in his ear and poked him in the ribs with an elbow. She felt her dad put his hand on her shoulder. She looked up and he smiled calmly at her with amusement in his sky blue eyes. She stopped berating her brother. By then the old wandmaker had returned and put the wand box down on the counter with a clank.

"Try this one," he said and rubbed his hands together. Mikano thought the gleam in his watery eyes was rather unnerving. Apparently, Naruto thought so as well as he warily clicked open the box and picked up the wand inside. He made an expressive flick towards the ceiling and a number of bright red sparks shot out with a boom that made everybody in the room jump.

"Dragon heartstring and cedar. Eleven inches, like your sister's, but more springy than flexible. Now, that would be 14 Galleons in total." The money changed hands. "And now you must have a lovely day." The frail old man all but ushered them from his shop.

Out on the street, Kushina hid her still red face in her hands.

"Naruto. Must you antagonize each and every person you encounter?"

"I was nice to the robe lady," Naruto countered while waving around his new wand. Mikano had stored hers, still in its box, safely in one of the inner pockets of the black jacket she wore over her favourite sleeveless blue dress. It would be properly unpacked in the safety of her room.

"Naruto, you pulled out and hid every pin she put in your Hogwarts uniform!"

"But I didn't put them on her chair with the point up even though that would have been a really obvious thing to do."

"You could have just stood and let poor Madam Malkin do her job as Mikano did!"

Naruto blew a raspberry at this and Minato quickly broke in before the argument could escalate further:

"Shouldn't we go check Florean Fortescue II's Ice-cream Parlour to see if Akari and Esther finished their shopping? We agreed to meet them there about now." He kissed his wife on her cheek and she exhaled with a huff.

"Naruto, if you don't behave for the rest of this trip, we won't buy you an owl," she told her son in definitive voice. Then she turned around, grabbed Minato's hand and began marching down the bustling street which was crowded with bodies and sounds under the warm July sun.

Behind her, a high-pitched and painfully aggrieved voice cried, "But you promised!"

In the end, Naruto had gotten his owl. Naturally, he had picked the largest owl he could possibly find in Eeylop's Owl Imperium, a dignified male Mr Eeylop identified as of the species great grey owl. And certainly it was great, and grey, with a face flat and round like a plate. Mikano chose a sweet, female tawny owl with reddish-brown feathers and large black eyes that gave it a permanently surprised expression. She named her Duchess.

"I'll have her bring you a letter later if you'd like to meet her." Mikano chuckled. "If only you give her a treat, she'll be sure to like you."

"Sure. Hey, that one looks like Madara Uchiha in profile." Sasuke extended an arm towards the sky and Mikano's eyes followed the direction indicated by his finger.

"It actually does," Mikano acknowledged. Drawings of the Valley at the End and the two great statues there featured in most of the Academy's history books.

Mikano enjoyed the feeling of the sun on her skin for another moment before pushing up on her elbows. "I'm going home. I promised Nene I'd play with her after lunch."

Sasuke eyed her without moving. He was lying in the shadow of the wall, his pale skin much more vulnerable to sunburn than Mikano's. "You don't wanna go practice throwing kunai?"

Mikano thought for a moment. "Is Itachi home?"

Sasuke raised a thin, dark eyebrow. "No?"

"Then I'm going home," Mikano decided, sitting up.

Sasuke followed, huffing. "Miki, you're such a fangirl, it's annoying."

"As if you're one to talk!" If Mikano had a teeny tiny crush on Sasuke's older brother, it was nothing against the adoration and admiration Sasuke felt towards him.

Instead of answering, Sasuke only frowned. "He's out on a mission. Again. As always." Mikano had heard it before. The 'Itachi is never home, he's always so busy, he's at Hogwarts all year and then he might as well be during the breaks too for all I see him' tirade. This time, Sasuke cut himself off.

"Why are you still here then?" he said again.

"Prat," Mikano mumbled, getting up. "See you tomorrow."

Sasuke didn't answer and Mikano didn't need him to. A smile played around her lips as she climbed the emergency stairs, fingering the smooth length of wood in her dress pocket.

The Uzumaki family's living room had cream-coloured walls, one of them covered floor to ceiling with moving photos in varying sizes. The largest one was centred at eye-height and depicted six people standing in front of a large cliff wall into which four mighty faces were carved. A man with blond hair and sky blue eyes was crouching next to two children looking around the age of seven. One had bright red hair to her shoulders, high bangs framing her whisker-marked cheeks (two lines on each), and large grey eyes which seemed to stare right through time and space at the onlooker. Her face bore a long-suffering expression of please-get-me-away-from-here.

That might be explained by the boy next to her who had his arm slung around her neck so that her cheek was pressed against his own. The boy had spiky hair the same colour as the man's, three whisker-like markings on each cheek, and he sported a grin so wide his cerulean eyes were closed to make space for it. The arm not used for strangulating the red-head next to him was stretched out towards to camera, waving two fingers stuck up in a V.

On the crouching man's shoulder sat a toddler, a baby girl with flat blond hair that shone with a strawberry glow in the sun, and her fists buried deep within the yellow mess in front of her. Her mouth was open in childish excitement and from the man's half smile, half grimace, you could tell she was probably tugging rather forcefully at his roots.

On the other side of the seven-year-olds stood a woman with her hands resting on the shoulders of a boy half a head shorter than the two besides him. The woman had beet red hair reaching below her waist. Her smile was proud; the apron she wore over her t-shirt housewifely. The boy in front of her had friendly blue eyes and was smiling shyly, hands hidden away in his trouser pockets. His hair had the same shocking red hue as the woman's but stuck up just like the man's instead of lying flat on his head.

"2006" was drawn in the upper right corner of the picture in black ink.

The dining table which was usually spacious, even with six occupants, had become crowded when four more seats were added.

"Wow, Minato, this lasagne is really delicious," a woman with brown hair and crow feet at the corners of her eyes said, "I wish my husband was as good a cook as you." She glanced at her red-headed husband with a half-teasing, half-accusing glint in her eyes.

Minato laughed. "Thank you, Esther. With praise like that, you and Akari are always welcome to come over any time you feel like eating out." He sighed and looked at Naruto. "It will be so quiet from tomorrow on."

"Yeah, it always takes some getting used to the quiet in September." Akari grinned wryly, "I can't believe there will be four Uzumaki at Hogwarts this year. Headmistress McGonagall is going to get a run for her money."

"Naruto, eat your veggies. I can tell you're smuggling them into your lap," Kushina interjected. "My, you are gonna die of malnutrition at Hogwarts with no one to look after you. Umiyo, promise me you'll force-feed my son the greens if he is sorted into your house."

Umiyo quickly got her own hand out of her lap and discretely wiped squash sauce off her fingers on a tissue.

"Sure thing Auntie," she grinned and tucked a lock of bob-cut brown hair behind her ear. "S'pose Naru are bound for Gryffindor."

Only because Hogwarts doesn't have a house for pure idiots, thought Mikano dryly.

Umiyo was a year older than Mikano and Naruto and would never let them hear the end of it. Especially since last summer when she got to attend Hogwarts a year before the twins and took to writing weekly letters to Naruto detailing how simply brilliant a time she was having. Mikano wrote most of it off as unfounded bragging, which both her brother and cousin most annoyingly were rather prone to, but still could not help sigh wistfully for the day she herself would have Hogwarts adventures to write home about.

Minato swallowed thickly. "You have grown up so fast, you two," he said looking at Mikano and Naruto with misty eyes. "It seems like just yesterday you three were rolling around on top of each other in your onesies, teething on the handles of your mother's kunai…"

"You're such a sap, Dad," said Naruto making a face.

"I wasn't leaving them lying around," Kushina declared quickly as if she wanted that fact established, "it was Mikano who constantly summoned them from our weapons stash. No lock could keep them from her, it would just," she made a popping sound, "bust open. In the end, I had to seal them away in a scroll. But then she started summoning them from strangers walking by-"

Esther laughed heartily. "Don't worry Kushina dear. We aren't doubting your abilities as a responsible parent." She put down her cutlery. "It can't be easy for all-shinobi parents. I get why you quit the field after the twins, Kushina. Especially with all the extra hours you, Minato, as the Hokage, get in the office." She laughed. "If Akari and I had had another two nippers I surely would have byed my ministry job as well with all the time Akari spends in the shop."

At least Meromaru, born two years after Naruto and Mikano, had been an easy child. Even now, he was sitting quietly in his chair, cutting his lasagne into meticulous squares. Nene, the youngest, on the other hand, was entertaining herself by dipping her long, strawberry blond bangs in her water glass to make wet swipes at Naruto with the locks whenever he looked away.

Akari huffed. "I can't help that quality rune work is in high demand."

"You could hire an assistant."

"Mido is the best assistant I could get." At this, Mido, Mikano's eldest cousin about to start her fourth year at Hogwarts, looked down, a small smile on her lips.

"Mido is at Hogwarts five sixth of the year."

"Nobody but an Uzumaki would be up to par."

"Then make somebody up to par! Take on an apprentice!"

"The Uzumaki Seal Shop is a family business."

"You're not making it easy for yourself then, seeing as there is only a handful of you left."

That caused an awkward silence. Even Nene ceased her antics, and Naruto stopped slapping at her. Mikano looked down at her plate, neatly scraped clean. She fiddled with the hem of her dress under the table.

Minato cleared his throat. "We shouldn't be talking about us tonight! This is a farewell feast. We should celebrate the ascent of youth into adulthood, not argue about mundane things like work." He smiled at his family sitting around the table.

Mikano snorted at her father's words. 'Ascent into adulthood.' If Naruto was an adult, she was a lumberjack.

"Hogwarts," Akari said slowly, "a place of dreams. I wish I could have had more than two years there."

Mikano had heard the story before. Her mother had been enrolled at Hogwarts instead of the Uzushio College on the Hidden Uzu-Island which would have been standard procedure for a young girl of the Uzumaki clan. Uzumaki had been one of the largest and most powerful clans affiliated with Konoha before it was wiped out, island and all, during the tension-filled years leading up to the Fourth Great Shinobi War. When Kushina went to Hogwarts, Akari had, for reasons unknown to Mikano, gone too, transferring to Hogwarts for his sixth and seventh year.

"Yes. I had a lovely time there. Hogwarts was where I met your dad," Kushina winked at her children. Though they had heard the story many times before they still settled in, grinning. Kushina continued: "At first I thought he was a bit of a wimp, your dad."

Minato chuckled good-naturedly.

"I suppose he was," she said, glancing teasingly at her husband.

"Kushina!" Minato exclaimed, mock-hurt in his voice.

"He was just a meek little Hufflepuff," she went on, leaning back in her chair with a smug smile. "The pride of his house. Such a smart puff! It went over their heads how he had not been placed in Ravenclaw with all the other nerds."

Minato groaned.

"Either way, he was way too soft for a lioness like me." She flicked her hair, earning a laugh from Umiyo. "Or so I thought…" She smiled at her husband who smiled back. "It was Christmas during my third year and I was staying a couple of days in Konoha before going back to my family in Uzushio. That was when it happened…" she lowered her voice dramatically, "I was kidnapped!"

Naruto let out a theatrical gasp and clasped his hands over his mouth. "You wasn't!"

Mikano could not help but laugh. Even Akari's mouth twitched.

"I was!" Kushina exclaimed with mock-seriousness, widening her grey eyes, leaning forward. "It was in the middle of the night and they picked me right out of my bed! Nobody noticed before the next day and by then I was long gone… Of course, they sent out search parties when they finally caught on but they found nothing! I had mysteriously, tracelessly disappeared," she paused for effect. "Except… I hadn't! But only your dad here, who I had never credited with anything more than being a sissy, noticed the trail of red strands I had made sure to leave behind as I was taken away." She sniffed in affected arrogance. "They had it coming, underestimating an Uzumaki!

"Either way, they hadn't gotten me far before Minato caught up. Only thirteen years of age and already able to take on three grown shinobi. Quite the prodigy," she winked at her husband, then yawned. "Well, we fell in love after that. Or rather, I fell in love with him - you were already quite head-over-heels with me by then, weren't you, babe?" Minato grinned.

"Guilty as charged," he confessed and put his hand over Kushina's where it lay on the tabletop.

"I used to hate my red hair - the other children called me Tomato - but your dad made me change my mind. I now consider it the red thread of fate that brought us together." She smiled knowingly, squeezing her husband's hand.

"I do love your hair," Minato said, looking at his wife in a way that made Naruto make silent gag motions, causing Umiyo to laugh out loud.

Mikano pursed her lips, frowning. "Mum, you've told that story so many times I've lost count, but you've never explained why you were kidnapped in the first place."

Minato stiffened and Kushina snatched her hand away from his on the table. Akari furrowed his brows and caught Kushina's eyes. Her cheeks gained a faint angry glow as she pushed back her chair and stood up swiftly.

"That's a story for another time," she said briskly. She yawned, though it looked a little strained this time. Her cheeks were still pink. "Look at the time!" she glanced at the clock hanging on the wall, "already past eight! You better get on your way so we'll all be ready for the trip to London tomorrow. It was lovely to have you over. Feel free to come again soon so we won't get lonely without our troublesome offspring." She picked up the nearest lasagne tray and stomped out into the kitchen.

As Akari, Esther, Mido and Umiyo said their goodbyes and left, Mikano turned to her dad and raised an eyebrow.

What had all that been about?