Openings
This story just kind of popped into my head and I needed to write it down. The plot might not be strong, and my tenses might be all wrong... so pardon me. I will finish this ficlet, and I don't intend it to be long. Im not sure whether the title is appropriate.. let's see how the story unfolds itself, shall we? It might also make no sense... :P
Happy 2007 people.
Prelude
It was a horrible time. No one would dispute against it but it was a happy time, too. They were always together, and even during the times when they were not (sometimes being caught up with loneliness, exams, monsters, graves-visiting), they kept each other in their thoughts and always prayed for one another. For safety, for warmth, for better future and for love.
At least they had each other.
Now Kagome only have herself, and it's worse than horrible. She cannot get it out of her system; those memories of her and her friends, her and the monsters, her and Inuyasha. Her mother does not say anything but worry is evident on her face. Not that Kagome is not eating or not smiling... but there's just something lacking in her and it's hard to put a finger to it. Souta tries to help her sister in the daily mundaneness of life and school and friends and even brings her out on one of his dates. Kagome knows that it is not proper to go out with your younger brother and his girlfriend but she doesn't want to disappoint him and his little girlfriend doesn't seem to mind. Souta has probably awed his date with tales of his big sister killing monsters (and it is true, so she doesn't bother to explain since the girl is smitten with him) and Kagome keeps smiling and joking until she feels too uncomfortable and excuses herself by saying that she has to meet Ayumi for movies.
Of course Ayumi is not there; Souta knows but no one says anything. Kagome walks to the cinema, looks at the show-times and wonders how it'll be like to watch a show with Inuyasha. Somehow the movies do not seem interesting and she sighs, a soft one under her breath and turns up the collars of her coat because it is winter and cold.
Kagome looks around; there is nothing on her mind except to walk, and so she follows the crowd. Or maybe she's letting herself drift along, with the people and street musicians crowding the busy streets because Christmas is coming soon.
Along the stores, then a T-junction, a left turn, another busy street, one more junction, a quiet alley, and she wanders into a small, unkempt playground flanked by decrepit apartment buildings. No one is here; it's too cold for children to play now and too quiet for mothers to let their children out here alone. Kagome sits on the bench and hears the dry leaves crackling under her butt and shoes. There is no wind, and the only sounds are of vehicles far-off.
'Snow hasn't come yet', she thinks and takes a sip from her water-bottle.
"Hello," a voice comes from behind and Kagome almost choked. She turns her head around and is flabbergasted when a little girl is standing behind her. Her face is flushed, as if she'd ran a great deal to this playground but Kagome didn't hear any footsteps.
"Hello, and are you alone?" Kagome asks, a little warily even though the girl doesn't look like a ghost nor feel like a demon to her.
"Can I have some of your drink? I am thirsty," the little girl asks, shyly with her face bent low but eyes on her water-bottle. Kagome nods and passes her the bottle. The little girl takes several great gulps and sits beside her, as if Kagome is no stranger but her mommy's friend. The little girl says nothing, looks at the empty merry-go-round while she swings her skinny legs to and fro. Not wanting to disturb the tranquility, Kagome keeps quiet too. It's nice to have company; quiet companions who understands the subtle beauty and importance of silence. Besides, she's a little girl and Kagome doesn't have much money in her bag.
But something doesn't feel very right.
She looks at the little girl from the side; her wavy hair is cropped and her big eyes do not blink. They are fixated on the rusty merry-go-round and she does not hum or giggle like other little girls. There is something familiar about her small face but Kagome cannot identify it. She looks harder, at the nose, at the mouth, at her hunched back and distant, vague memories come but still nothing concrete. The little girl continues to swing her legs, like a pendulum and Kagome notices her feet.
She's not wearing any socks and her shoes...
The pendulum-motion stops, and the hushed silence is broken by her little voice. "Can you stop looking at me?"
Kagome looks up at her face and smiles, albeit a little embarrassed, "I'm sorry, it's just that I have a pair of sneakers like yours too."
The little girl fixes her unblinking big eyes on Kagome, "What is the colour of your sneakers?"
Kagome thinks, but the memory of her sneakers came and went away, "I can't remember, but I think they were white."
"So what is the colour of my sneakers?" The little girl asks again.
Kagome begins to think that the girl can only asks questions, but nevertheless, she being good-natured decides to humour her and looks at her feet, which she has stopped swinging.
Both of them looked at the small pair of sneakers for a long while until the little girl repeats her question.
Kagome begins to feel confused; she cannot identify the colour. The little girl asks a third time, and she starts to panic. "I... I don't know what colour your sneakers are..."
The little girl frowns, then nods her head. Kagome looks at her knowing face and her panic turns into irritation and frustration; what is it that the little girl knows but she doesn't?
"You'll never find out the colour of my sneakers, or will you?" the little girl hops off the bench and hops onto the merry-go-round. A bewildered Kagome stares at her, a little miffed and scared at her .
"Will you come and turn this?" The little girl holds onto the bar and readies herself. Dumb-founded, Kagome obliges the little girl while her frazzled mind tries to pick apart their conversation and determine whether there's any hidden meaning in it or not.
The merry-go-round turns slowly, a little creakily at first and seeing her unsatisfied little face, Kagome pushes harder, until she starts to run with it. One hand on the cold steel bar, the other hand steadying her sling-bag, Kagome starts to forget her question and laughs together with the little girl. Then suddenly she remembers.
"I remember now! I had red sneakers! And so are yours!" Kagome tries to catch her breath in between the panting and the little girl's smile widened.
"Come up, you've found the key!"
'Key?' Kagome is puzzled but hopped onto the revolving merry-go-round obediently. Which seemed to go faster and faster and the surroundings blur into a mesh of browns and greens and whites. She feels a little giddy, squats down and across the bars, she can see the little girl's face grinning back at her.
"Can you see the door?" She asks again.
Kagome nods her head; there's a door beside her little self and she feels a small key in her right palm. Her small self urges her on, and as if Kagome has shrunk to her old size, she walks under the tall steel bars like a little monkey and inserts the key.
It can't turn! Kagome panics, and looks at her old self anxiously. She doesn't know why, but she wants to go through this door. Something is waiting for her at the other end, behind the wall, and she needs to know, needs to find it, needs to get it back-
"Here, use my key. I'll keep yours until you're back," and the new key exchanges hands.
Kagome thanks her, although there is no need to and went through the door.
Door #1
Kagome climbs out of the well. The sun is bright, the birds are chirping, the grass is soft and green and nothing seems to have changed. She shakes her head; is this a dream or not? She pinches her underarm hard; it hurts and she winces.
"Hello?"
There is no echo, but there is a wind rustling through the field and trees and she realizes that her coat and sling-bag are no longer with her. But she's not in her high-school uniform and Kagome sits down confused, in her jeans and sweater when her hand brushes against something.
It's her bow. But there's no arrows. Kagome tests the horse-hair string; it's still taut but there are no arrows.
What is she trying to tell herself? And is she back in Sengoku Jidai, or not?
Kagome bites her lower lip and frowns; the confusion is giving her a mini-headache and she feels hot too. It is summer now and she has no other clothes. It gets worse when a figure ambles into her sight and shouts.
"Kagome! You are back!"
The voice reaches her ear before her eyes can focus on the familiar eye-patch, "Kaede-baachan...?"
"Come child, you're hungry, aren't you?" Kaede smilingly offers her hand and Kagome takes it. Her calloused but strong hand is warm and solid; this is no apparition and Kaede does not ask why she is dressed like that. She follows her home, through the familiar dirt-path journey and the faint waft of vegetable stew greets her nose as she stepped under the straw curtain.
Nothing has changed. Kagome is not sure which time slot she is at now but it doesn't really matter. Seeing Kaede and eating her delicious, salty stew brings back old memories and she is overwhelmed; by being in those old memories and re-living them once again. The initial purpose of seeking something temporarily eludes her and Kagome chats with Kaede happily, as they finish up the meagre pot of stew with some rice.
No one asks each other questions, and Kagome helps to scrub the heavy pot while Kaede washes the dishes in the nearby river. Then she remembered, and asks about the Shikon jewel.
"Oh, that," Kaede continues rinsing.
Kagome continues to scrub.
They went to sleep that night. Kaede gave her a change of clothing and Kagome sleeps with a happy smile on her face.
The next morning, Kaede wakes her up but Kagome is already awake.
"Where are we going Kaede-baachan?" Kagome rubs her eyes and tightens her haori. Kaede smiles but says nothing. They wash their faces with icy-cold spring water that Kaede has already fetched in a wooden basin, and went out without eating breakfast. It is still dark, the sun has not risen but they can hear the baby birds chirping.
Kagome follows her obediently, and they walk for a long while until light fills the skies. They pass by another village, and the farmers already out in their fields early, bow to Kaede and Kagome with a genial smile. Little children follow them for a short while, giggling and singing while one naughty boy tries to pluck at Kagome's red hakama.
Kaede leads her to a small shrine, up on the hill and Kagome frowns a little. She doesn't remember this hill, nor the surroundings. The shrine looks new, and there is a small pile of stones and suddenly she feels the pulse of the Shikon jewel from the heap of stones.
"The jewel!" Kagome exclaims, excitedly because she has found another old memento.
Kaede nods her head gravely, "This is Inuyasha's grave."
The smile left her face swiftly, and Kagome stares dry-eyed at the insignificant grave for a long while. She has often wondered how Inuyasha was doing, when she'd gone back to her time and Tokyo. Whether he was happy and with Kikyou, whether he was with the rest and taking care of Shippou, even though she knew that he was dead. She cannot explain it, but she knew.
"It is not befitting of him, Inuyasha is a hero," Kagome says quietly.
Kaede nods, "All heroes are mere persons. And graves are for the living."
Kagome has nothing to say in response to that. "How did he die?"
Kaede didn't answer her. She left after a while, leaving Kagome alone. She sat cross-legged before the grave of stones, knowing that the Shikon jewel was buried with him beneath the earth and wonders whether this hill still exists in her time.
The question of Time came into her mind again and Kagome ponders over it. Has she truly gone back in time? Was that door a time-portal? The well in her shrine had already stopped working so why go back now? Is there a purpose? And if so, is there a treasure then? Something she needs to locate and bring back?
She looks at the stones. She is sad, but not overtly so. She doesn't understand why either. Maybe all this running and walking has worn her out. Maybe she hasn't really woken up yet. Maybe the lack of breakfast is making her a little giddy and she lies down beside the stones.
By the time she wakes up, it's dusk. Her stomach is growling, and there's no food.
"Inuyasha, did you steal my potato chips again?" Kagome asks sleepily, half in jest but he doesn't respond. No yelling, no shouting, no screaming. The cicadas are singing, making the silence more bearable but it also intensifies her loneliness.
She closes her eyes, tries to trace the image of Inuyasha in her mind and realizes that she can't. Time has eroded that part of him away and she cries. Her memories are getting dimmer, fainter, and Kagome is afraid. The more she cries, the more she realizes how much she has been trying to cling onto these intangible recollections all these years and she cries again, for her futile attempt and effort.
The growling of her stomach rouses her from the crying and Kagome looks bleak-eyed at the pile of stones. Kagome doesn't know what is Time now. It seemed linear to her last time, where she travelled to and fro on the same line through an old well.
Now she doesn't need the well. She also do not have an idea of her age. She looks at her hands; they are not wrinkled and she touches her cheeks; they are still smooth and her teeth are all there. Kagome picks up a stone, adds it to the top of the pile and makes her way back to Kaede's hut. It's a long way, but Kagome is sure of the path and the darkness no longer scares her. There are no more demons, she knows, and she is not afraid of the demons in people's hearts. She has her bow, even though the arrows are missing.
When she reaches Kaede's hut, she gulps down her dinner happily and slept beside Kaede for the first time. Their bodies do not touch, they do not speak to each other, but there is a communicable understanding between the both of them... of what exactly, she doesn't know. She is not sure of what she have to do, but she knows that she has to get back to her time.
And there are more journeys for her to take, before she can do that.
Door #2
The next morning, Kagome wakes up before Kaede does. It is already morning, but Kaede is still asleep. Kagome creeps out of the small hut quietly, with her bow and the wooden basin. When she reaches the river, there is a little boy standing there on the banks crying softly.
"Why are you crying?" Kagome asks gently and lowers herself to his height.
The boy continues to cry, without looking at her and points to the river. Kagome puts down the basin, moves forward and squint her eyes; there is something sparkling on the riverbed.
"Is it yours?" Kagome asks.
The boy nods, not looking up while he wipes his face of never-ending tears.
Kagome feels pity, it is obvious that the boy cannot swim. "Shall I retrieve it for you?"
The boy nods again, but continues his crying. Kagome sighs and dives into the river. The waters are cold, but clear and refreshing. She locates the sparkling stone, and swims towards it. But when her hand is about to reach for it, she blinks and the stone disappears. Kagome is perplexed and rises for air.
"I cannot find it!" Kagome shouts, but this puts the boy into further distress and he sits on the dirt-ground and wails. Kagome is confused but decides that it must be the trick of the light; the stone must be there. She sucks in another deep mouthful of air and dives back to the same spot, and what she saw alarmed her.
There is no stone, but there is a door. On the riverbed and there is a keyhole. But she has no key.
Still, she puts her hand on the doorknob and turn; the door opens and she wades into the terrifying darkness and realizes that she is out of breath-
and splutters as she sits up, water dripping all over her face and in the back of her throat and nostrils. Kagome coughs out the water, parts her hair and sees that she is sitting in a small stream. She looks at her lap, at her soaked haori and her bow is lying by her side in the stream, stuck between the boulders. Aghast, she quickly picks up the bow, afraid that the wood might rot and the string go useless even though she has no arrows.
And there is a man, staring open-mouthed at her as if she has just descended from Venus. He is squatting in the stream too, some distance away from her and trying to catch fish. She looks back at him, feeling embarrassed and cold until the man speaks,
"Kagome-sama?"
She cocks her head to one side; trying to figure out who this person is as she climbs back onshore. The man passes her his coat and asks, "You don't travel through the well anymore?"
Kagome doesn't know how to answer him and shakes her head while she wraps his coat around her shoulders. The man looks at her for a while, not saying anything and eventually cooks up a meal for both of them. Kagome is grateful for the grilled fish, even though it tastes quite bland but her mind is pre-occupied with where and when she is now.
"You look as old as me now, Kagome-sama," the man says quietly and blushes a little.
She is roused out from her train of thoughts and turns to look at his handsome face. Her memory seems to be wiped clean regarding this man but she is not afraid of him either. There is a kindness in his eyes and gentleness in his behaviour and she smiles.
"I am 25 this year," she replies.
He dare not look at her face and merely nods to signify understanding.
"Where am I? And when?" Kagome asks as she looks at her surroundings. This is a new place, somewhere she has never been before in her travels with Inuyasha and her friends. And the man gives her a name that she has never heard before too.
"It's been some years... isn't it?" He says.
She nods, still now knowing who he is even though he knows her fairly well, or so it seems.
"So you come from the river now?" He asks.
She laughs, "Oh not really... well, I'm not very sure actually..."
He laughs, and not knowing why, both began to laugh louder and more heartily until he suddenly pulls her to him. Kagome is stunned, and before she can say anything, he rubs his nose against her ear and she stills. Nobody has done that to her for a very long time and his action suddenly arouses this longing for intimacy in her body.
"I miss her so much, and you look like her... even though I can't remember her face well anymore," he lowers his face to her neck and she closes her eyes. When was the last time she had sex? Kagome wonders briefly but stops when his hands moves up to her abdomen.
"I know this is wrong..." he mumbles and kisses her lips softly and she can feel the hard bulge against her groin. She touches the bulge; it twitches and his hands start to knead her covered breasts and a shiver runs down her spine. They do not stop kissing, until he pulls away for air and opens her soaked haori.
She tilts her head back as he pleasures her; her back arched and her privates wet. She rests her hand on his shoulders, and he unties her hakama. Kagome looks down; he is already naked and a sudden flush of heat makes her giddier and she falls onto him. He catches her and he smiles, love and passion in his eyes and this makes her weird all over.
She is buck naked with a stranger, going to make love to him yet she doesn't know who he is?
But there was no time for questions and answers and he reverses their position and looks into her eyes, "I miss you so much... and this has turned to love... forgive me..." Kagome doesn't understand what he is saying, but he is kissing her breasts again and rubbing his member against her wet entrance and before she can ask anything, he thrusts and she moans. They cannot stop and continue, again and again until they wear out their urges and bodies.
He rests his head on her abdomen; the tingling in her body lingers. Then he starts to cry, and Kagome is shocked. But she says nothing, and strokes his hair until he stops, which isn't too long. He takes his time to recover himself, and sits up.
Then she sees the scar behind his shoulder-blade and a deathly cold settles in the pit of her heart.
"Kohaku," she cries out dry-mouthed.
He hugs her, until she stops crying. It doesn't really matter, he tries to comfort her. We will pretend that we don't know each other, he continues. She nods, because the sadness has to go away, somehow. He has revealed a great secret to her, and she wonders how she is going face Sango if she sees her.
If.
He falls asleep, she doesn't. Full of guilt, she dresses herself, picks up a bow and leaves him. She will not stay here, and she cannot stay here. She tries to tell herself, that it is okay, that she has given her body to men before and it will not matter whether this person is her friend's brother or not. She doesn't understand why she meets Kohaku but there's no point in thinking about it.
She feels funny, and detached. Time is so messed up in her brain, and she no longer knows. She turns her head around, and Kohaku and the campfire has disappeared. She runs back, and it's true, there are no traces nor ashes and stupefied, Kagome sits on the grass, covers her face and cries.
Is this a dream or not? She is also confused and angry until someone nudges her. She looks up, and a young boy stands in front of her. He points to a nearby tree with his sickle-chain and she stares open-mouthed at him.
Kagome cannot believe her eyes; is Time playing with her? Her mind blank, she walks to the tree; nothing is there. Kohaku gestures and giggles childishly; she walks to the back and sees a door carved into the bark of a tree. It is a very small door.
But there is a knob-like stump. Kagome turns the knob.