Hell.

Just a brief recap before you read this:

- Kagome and Rin have been abducted by Byakuya.
- Chiyo has been killed; and Tessaiga has been coated with her blood.
- Kouga is truly dead, that poor thing, but pls don't tell me to revive him.
- Sesshoumaru was almost killed by Inuyasha's Kaze no Kizu, and he regained his memories.
- Jaken and Ah-Un are fine (not mentioned though.
- Mouryoumaru is still lurking around somewhere behind my door with Naraku's heart.
- Kikyou and Kohaku are still together.
- Toukijin got broken in the process (not mentioned) from Kaze no Kizu.
- Houjou and his cousin are still hanging around, in Tokyo.

Glossary:

demo - but

taijiya - youkai exterminator

nee-san - elder sister

bakemono - ghost

ki - internal energy/spirit

shouki - miasma daijoubu - its alright

katana - sword

chichi-ue - respectful way of addressing one's father

"To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me."

- Charles William Stubbs

He blinked his eyes slowly; his eyelashes felt as if they had been coated with lead.

He tried to focus on his surroundings and heaved at the same time. His chest hurt, and he wondered why. Light gray mist drifted before his eyes like a veil of silk, and he could not understand why they were always there in his dreams. It clouded his vision and dulled his senses, even though he knew that it was not real.

Still, he was Sesshoumaru, and he liked to have an unobstructed view of everything. He turned his face around slightly and the muscles in his neck burned and tightened as never before. He winced at that uncomfortable sensation and allowed his eyelids to droop.

He felt weary, expended beyond what he could bear and very, very down. And it was an odd feeling since he rarely felt depressed or hopeless. Did one need hope when one was a youkai? Who was it that told him that hope was futile? That hope itself was an oxymoron which burns deeper than hopelessness?

His head hurt and he dragged his eyelids up again. Dreams always ask one weird questions, he told himself.

Sesshoumaru leaned against something unknown; it was hard, stiff and cold. He glanced around the mist-coated surroundings. It was a grass field that looked deplorably bleak under the dim grayish light. There were no flowers, no birds, no butterflies. Just blades and blades of gray-looking grass that stretched on and on, seemingly to the ends of the earth and the skies.

It was soundless, even though he could see the grass blades swaying side by side as if there was a light breeze rushing through them. But he could not feel that breeze, nor the temperature of the air that seemed to crawl on his skin. The field before him was also almost colourless too, as if the vibrancy of Life had been sucked out of it. Everything was in different, depressing shades of gray, and that made him sadder.

Then he looked down at himself and realized that he was not gray at all. He was white, and red, and silver and flesh-colored. He could see the soft suede of his black boots, the bright yellows and rich blues of his obi, and the deep mahogany brown hilt of Tenseiga's saya. He reached out his hand and touched his hakamas; they felt cool, smooth and taut. But was he the only one that was inot/i gray? And the air seemed to press down on his skin; it felt supremely dense but yet very, very still. The familiar scent of oncoming thunderstorms suddenly came, and he looked up to skies in varying shades of dismal gray.

I seem to be in Hell.

And upon that thought, a soft voice trickled across the field from the left.

He jerked his head up to the direction and saw a wave of colours spreading itself from the left to the right. The voice was familiar, very familiar. But he could see no one at all, and the colours vanished as fast as they had come. His eyebrows dipped to the center as he narrowed his eyes in search for his little girl; She must be there.

Then he heard it again; it was louder this time round, and her voice seemed to come from the other direction.

"Sesshoumaru-sama!"

He swiftly turned his head to the right and another wave of bright colours flooded the field in one direction like a spilled bucket of water. The echoes faded with the colours like the way waves receded back to the merciless ocean, but he still could not catch any sight of her.

He frowned hard; had something bad happened to her? Why could he hear her voice and not see her? Or had something bad happened to him?

"Sesshoumaru-sama!"

He could not ascertain the direction of her voice and called out in frustration, "Rin."

There was complete silence, as if the little one knew that she should not play hide-and-seek with her youkai lord anymore.

Then he heard sobbing, and thought he could recognize that scent of bitter tears. He could not see her, but he knew that it was Kagome, and she was hiding somewhere in this wide gray field. Her hushed cries seem to radiate from every corner of this bleached-out space, and he wanted to get up; to look for her, to scout for Rin, and to see whether they are alright or not. But his legs would not move as if Hell had bound them to the field with invisible cords. He felt extremely helpless and useless, and wanted to scream when he heard it again.

"Sesshoumaru-sama!"

Her cheerful voice returned, and he jumped. It was right behind him, and the corners of his mouth curled up as he turned around. He wanted to see Rin, to see her happy smile and her messy pony-tail. Perhaps Kagome would be with her too.

But the sight of a nameless tomb greeted his eyes, and he gasped out loud.

Her eyelashes fluttered a little, like the wings of a new-born butterfly that struggles out from its cocoon.

When she opened her crusty eyes, she could not see anything, at all.

Kagome stared into nothingness for a while and wondered whether she had really opened her eyes. Or had she turned blind?

She rubbed her arms weakly and exhaled slowly; it was rather cold, and she wondered why. Was she locked inside a refrigerator then? A bad dream perhaps? She tried to scan her surroundings, and to her horror she could not find any beam or source of light at all. It was too dark; the absence of warm light seem to chill right to the core of her bones, and she shivered uncontrollably.

She sniffed a little, and the musty dingy scent evoked a precious memory that was of him and her.

Sesshoumaru...

Kagome closed her eyes and leaned back against what seemed like a tree to her. She could almost visualize the bright orange-red flames of the fire that he had kindled in the hut, dancing and licking around the cold, roughened gray stones. She could see his bright, iridescent gold irises hiding behind that soft, silver curtain and how she had tried to part them. She could remember the rhetorical questions they asked each other, the bittersweet hug that he gave and how she had drowned herself in it; but she could not feel the familiar heat on her skin that should have accompanied her thoughts.

Kagome drew her legs in, hoping that her pleated skirt would be able to cover more of her exposed skin and rubbed her arms hard.

But she just could not reproduce the same warmth that he had given her during that winter, and she felt miserable and exhausted.

She could see nothing; the empty darkness bore into her eyes and she felt hollowed out. She could hear nothing other than her own heavy, laboured breathing which seemed to reverberate within her chest and created echoes in her head. She could not feel anything around her other than the tree behind her back and the short, grass blades that tickled her bare feet. Her mind felt awfully heavy and clouded, as if she had been unconscious for a long, long time. There was this dull, numbing ache at the back of her neck, and Kagome buried her face into her folded arms.

What had happened to her? Where was she? Was there anyone else around in this dark space?

Kagome missed him terribly, and the isolation she felt only made it worse.

"Only memories that I can hold on to..." She smiled bitterly to herself and brushed away the tears. She did not understand why she felt so depressed and helpless; perhaps it's the darkness, she reasoned to herself.

Why do you miss him?

She opened her wet eyes. Someone was asking her.

Why do you think of him?

Her lips parted; but there was no answer for that question.

And what about Inuyasha?

Her eyelids drooped upon that question.

Why can't you decide now?

Kagome shut her lids and covered her ears.

What are you going to do?

She frowned, and desperately wished that the voice would go away.

Inuyasha still loves you.

"He has Kikyou," Kagome retorted to herself.

But he still loves you.

She nodded her head, although she wanted to cry.

You know what you have to do.

She buried her face into her arms again and surrendered. Her conscience would never forgive her if she just let go of him like that. Inuyasha had braved his life for her, so many times that she could not count. He had always placed her safety in a higher priority than he himself; and he always waited for her, no matter how far she lagged behind, no matter when she would climb out of that dry well.

Inuyasha was always around the corner for her, in his own special way that no one other than Kagome, herself would understand.

So she cried. And in her dream, the raindrops splattered mercilessly against her uncovered head, and she wrapped her virgin-wings around herself, because she could no longer fly. Her fate had been sealed like an aborted cocoon.

Inuyasha leaned back against the trunk as he balanced himself on a sturdy branch.

"Inuyasha!" Sango yelled, but he did not respond.

Miroku took a look at Shippou, who was staring at his feet silently with his back hunched. He shook his head and tossed more wood into the growing fire.

"Sango, let him be," he let out a silent sigh and began to insert a thick twig through the river trout.

"Demo..." Sango's voice trailed off as Inuyasha turned his face away from her.

Miroku beckoned the taijiya to the fire and patted the seat beside him, "Inuyasha will be fine."

"This is such a big mess..." Sango took a cautious peek at the hanyou and whispered softly.

The monk shrugged his shoulders and wondered what had really transpired between Inuyasha, Kagome and Sesshoumaru. Things could not get more confusing and difficult at the same time. "I hope Kagome-sama is fine."

Sango nodded her head and frowned a little at the grilled fish that Miroku passed to her. She did not have any appetite at all, but she knew that she had to eat since she needed the energy to look for her good friend. At the thought of Kagome's possible death, Sango bit into the fish and forced herself to chew.

From the corner of her eye, Sango glanced at Miroku and frowned harder; the skin under his eyes were sagging and dark. Shippou was listless and depressed, whereas Inuyasha had been fiercely silent as he raged on in his pursuit for Kagome. They had been chasing after the flailing scent of Naraku and Byakuya for days but still gained no clues to where they had hidden Kagome and Rin.

"Miroku, Rin is with them too."

He nodded his head and closed his eyes. He wondered whether Sesshoumaru was dead, whether Kagome was dead, and whether Rin was dead too. Perhaps, he himself would be dead soon. Would the eventual showdown between them and Naraku come soon? Would he be able to grasp a little control over his fate, and would Kazaana ever disappear from his right hand? Somewhere in his selfish heart, Miroku wished that he could retrace his path and never got himself involved with this from the beginning.

"I know." He looked at the prayer beads around his right wrist and gobbled down the tasteless fish. "Inuyasha, you need the energy; please come down and eat something."

The hanyou closed his eyes and balled his fists until his nails could go no deeper.

Inuyasha knew that everyone including himself were tired, but no one complained and he was glad for that. He had not allowed the group to rest unless it was necessary, and he doubted any one of them could anyway. Kagome was still in Naraku's hands, and Inuyasha could not even close his eyes without thinking of her safety. Would she be scared? Would that bastard hurt her? What would Byakuya do to her?

And who would she think of?

Inuyasha scrunched his nose, frowned hard and shook his head. He looked up to the full moon that hung like a gigantic jewel in the sky amidst the thick, red clouds and silently cursed it. He would be delayed until sunrise came and for now, there was nothing he could do other than to wait.

And he hated waiting, for it yielded nothing fruitful other than frustrations and anxiety. "And many useless vexing thoughts."

He still could not believe that Kagome was indeed with Sesshoumaru, and they were even on talking terms! And why was Sesshoumaru so protective of her? Why had he tried to kill him again just after a long battle with Chiyo and Byakuya? It was unlike of the taiyoukai to lose his cool, and he wondered whether his Kaze no Kizu had really taken him down. Not that his death will affect me anyway, he told himself.

Inuyasha sniffed, squinted his eyes and let out a silent sigh. His sense of sight, smell and hearing were not as good as usual and he hated that too. He looked down at the black hair that pooled on his fire-rat hakamas and the dull blunt nails that rested on Tessaiga; he felt very small, useless and helpless, and even more so when thunder boomed in his human ears.

He thought of how he could not protect nor save Kikyou, how she had fallen down the cliff even though he had held on to her cold clay hand, the hatred and revenge that burned and hissed in her dark, black eyes, and how indifferently she had treated him. Would Kagome be like that too? Had she fallen for Sesshoumaru because he had neglected her? Would she hate him, the way Kikyou did?

Lightning flashed; Miroku and Sango yelled for him to get down.

No, Kagome is not like that, Inuyasha closed his eyes, tried to shut out his jumbled thoughts and enjoy this rare reprieve.

Inuyasha would not give up on Kagome no matter what happened, because he simply could not allow the same thing to happen to either of them again. He knew that he could not be with her, but he could not control his love for Kagome too. And as the cold night air rubbed its weight on the tip of his nose, Inuyasha decided that as long as Kagome was safe and sound, nothing else really mattered. He would not ask her any questions, nor doubt her love for him, for he was in no position to do so and he simply did not want to.

"Kagome, wait for me," Inuyasha mumbled to himself and fell asleep thinking of her smiles and voice.

"Ka...go..me..."

She jumped, her eyes wide and round as she jerked her head up and froze. Could it be a bakemono!

"...nee ... san..."

Kagome immediately got to her feet and winced a little at the numbing pain that shot through her legs. Had she slept for long?

"Rin!" Her own voice resounded like gongs in the enclosed space and Kagome realized that the room was not big.

"Where are you Rin? Talk to me!" Kagome clutched at her pleated skirt nervously, not daring to move.

"'Nee... san..." The small, fragile voice was almost a whisper now, and she knew that Rin was very, very weak. But she still could not locate her position until an idea struck her mind. Kagome instantly concentrated and willed her ki to her hands; her hands emitted a faint pinkish glow and she waved her hands around, inwardly hoping that she would be able to see Rin and at the same time wondered why she was with her. Were they trapped? Or kidnapped? An intense pain shot through the base of her neck right to the top of her skull, and she recalled that someone had knocked her out.

"Rin!" Kagome noticed the faint outline of the small crouched figure at one corner and rushed to her. When her fingers touched her neck as Kagome tried to lift her up, she realized that her skin was deathly cold and Rin was very heavy, as if there were no more energy left in her.

"Rin..." She could not see the little girl's face and that worried her further. She wanted to ask her what had happened and why was she trapped in this room with her. But she knew that Rin would not be able to answer her. There was also a dense, stank smell in the room and Kagome's eyes widened, "Shouki!"

She laid Rin's head against her chest and wrapped her arms around the little one, hoping to give her some warmth and a sense of protection. She knew that the shouki was affecting Rin and wondered whether this was the kind of suffering and death that Naraku wanted them to go through.

Bastard!

"Rin, can you hear me?"

The little one shifted a little, and Kagome continued, "Don't breathe too deeply. Relax, I am here with you. Sesshoumaru-sama will come for us soon."

Rin's head dropped and she mumbled, "Yu..kata... dirty..."

Kagome frowned and willed herself not to cry at the despair that surrounded them. She was not even sure whether Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha were able to trace down their whereabouts, not to mention the time and hurdles they might take and undergo. And she had to be strong, stronger than before because Rin needed her strength and support.

"Daijoubu, I will clean your yukata for you, Sesshoumaru-sama won't be angry."

Rin wanted to smile, but realized that took too much effort. She was scared, because her body was getting weaker and weaker and she did not understand why. But she knew that her youkai lord would come for her, no matter what.

"Hauru..." Rin's voice barely reached her ears.

The bittersweet smile lifted up the corners of her mouth; she had almost forgotten about this story and it brought a flame of hope to her heart, which seemed to make the hellish silence go away from her mind.

Kagome rubbed Rin's cold arms and whispered, "Ee... Hauru eventually discovered that the pretty teacher was the old evil witch..."

Sesshoumaru woke up with a jolt and realized that a raw, un-ripened fruit had fallen on his head. He stared angrily at the shiny green, waxed skin of the fruit and wished that it would explode under his venomous stare. He had never been rudely woken up before; and he desperately wanted to continue the nightmare. He wanted to take a better look at the tomb; he had to know who had died! Was it Rin? Was it Kagome? Or was it his own?

He shut his eyes and frowned as hard as he could, because he knew that dream would not return to him anymore. It was more than just a nightmare to him; like a bad premonition that would not go away unlike the green fruit that lay beside his empty sleeve, which would eventually decay, decompose, or got itself gobbled down someone's throat. The image of the nameless tomb, the sound of Rin's sweet voice, and the heart-wrenching sobs from Kagome hovered before his very eyes and lingered in his mind like an inner ghost that had not been exorcised.

No, he opened his eyes and bared his fangs; he would not let any one of them die. He would not allow the dream to materialize. He would not bow down to Fate.

And so he had to move, to go to them, to seek out Naraku.

At that very moment, excruciating pain befell every inch of his body, and he yowled silently. Beads of perspiration trickled behind his ears and tremors coursed through every of his single vein as if there was a mini earthquake happening right inside of him. He felt as if he had been flogged, turned over, beaten and whacked on every bone, flesh, sinew and nerve that he thought had ever existed in his body.

"Tessaiga..." Sesshoumaru hissed vehemently as he recalled the bright, yellow youki that had enveloped his body. Yes, it was the katana that his chichi-ue had given to Inuyasha, instead of him. It was the hanyou who had hurt him this badly; it was him who had lost again.

He gritted his teeth and closed his eyes in pain. Physical pain that wrecked through his body; mental pain that banged against his skull at the newly found memories; emotional pain that hissed and stung like red, hot blood.

It was too much, too much for him to bear, and for the first time in his life, Sesshoumaru wanted to die.

Too many conflicting thoughts, desires, principles fought against each other in his soul and he knew that he would implode if order was not restored.

He needed to save Rin; but he was injured.

He wanted to save Kagome too; but he was not supposed to fall for her.

He wanted to kill Inuyasha; but he knew that she would be devastated.

He wanted to kill himself; but he knew that he was needed.

And what was he supposed to do? What would be the right thing for him to do? And where had his super analytical mind went? Why was it circling around one woman that he knew was beyond his reach? Had he not told himself that when he was still grappling with old memories dribbling back to him then? And who was she to him; and he to her? And where was Rin and Jaken? Toukijin lay depressingly broken by his side, and he had nothing other than Tenseiga's empty saya tucked in his obi.

A loud, long rumble of thunder shook the woods and the flash of ion-friction seemed to part and light up the light-gray skies.

He really hoped the lightning would strike him down for the sins that he had committed and the blood he had shed with his cruel claws.

Heavy raindrops pelted down mercilessly on his body and the green, unripe fruit.

Perhaps the tomb was his own.

Hello, I'm baaaaaaaaack:D

I did not think that I would be able to complete Chapter 1 of "Ten Thousand Cranes" so fast, but I happened to sprain my ankle and thus, had buckets of time to rot at home and mull over this. I actually started work quite early, but took a really long time over this chapter. I had chosen to end "Fate" at the juncture whereby things would take a drastic change in the fic (which was supposed to be connected, but I decided that 100K words was too much). I wrote and stopped for so many times, as if my brain was in a traffic jam in Bangkok. Pardon me if this chapter is a little choppy. Also, now that Sesshoumaru has regained his memories, he would revert to his old-self, sort of.

Also, I will be using less Japanese words, because I think its a little awkward for some readers to keep referring to the glossary. My purpose of using the original is because sometimes I think in that way (that happens when you watched subbed animes instead of dubbed animes). When I do use them, its because I can't find a suitable english word to substitute it, or simply because it sounds better that way.

I'm normally not this long-winded (or perhaps I really am!) but I would like to give my thanks to Parsnip; she will be beta-ing the whole of "Cranes"! She's the best beta and friend one can have, and I love, love, love her for that. :p

So... Enjoy. Heh. Reviews would be much love for me (and my poor feet)!

Pseudomonas