Hi Guys! Miss me? I've missed you all. To those who have been here since the very beginning, welcome back. I'm so happy to continue this journey with you. To those that just discovered me in between stories, WELCOME! To those that are new, give me a chance. You might like what you read. ;) I know it's been awhile since I've posted, but I've always been writing. So here are the ground rules for this one.
1. This is NOT an EO story. So for all my EO shippers I love you, really I do, but this one is NOT for you. So please click the back button and find an EO story to enjoy. I've written a couple you may enjoy so check out my page!
To my loyal readers…You know it's NEVER that simple.
2. This story is out there. Like really REALLY out there. Like forget this is based off a TV show we're all obsessed with and love out there, but it has elements of fanfiction we've all come to know and love. So give it a chance.
3. Pay attention to the Music. Some parts of this story was literally inspired by the music that was playing as I was writing. For me, music is LIFE. Enjoy it. Let it inspire you as well.
4. I do not own all of these characters. They belong to Dick Wolf. I only manipulate them for my own pleasure. =)
Chapter 1. Seven Devils
I was dead when I woke up this morning, I'll be dead before the day is done.
"38 year old female."
She feels her body moving, but she doesn't know how.
"Possible overdose."
The voices swirl above her and she wonders if she's finally done it. If this is what limbo is like.
"Heart rate 60 bpm. BP 99 over 66. We have her on high flow O2..."
If she was cursed to watch the lives of the ones she once loved continue on without her.
"Ma'am. Ma'am. Can you hear me?..."
She breathes deeply and stares at the blur of faces above her and tries to focus on the light.
The light. Warm. Comforting.
"Can you tell me your name?.."
The room spins. The light swirls. Her breath escapes her.
"Ma'am. Can you tell me your name?"
"Olivia," she breathes.
"Ok Olivia, how about your last name?"
The light brightens and its warm glow surrounds her.
"Stabler," she sighs and allows the light to envelop her, finally leaving the darkness behind.
"Stabler," Elliot grunts into his cell phone.
Twenty plus years of this and you'd think he'd be used to it by now. He pulls himself from the warm body that rests beside him and picks up the phone.
"Good morning, Mr. Stabler. Sorry to wake you. I'm a nurse over at Bellvue Hospital. We have an Olivia Stabler here and she has you down as her next of kin."
"Olivia?"
He hasn't heard from her in over two years.
"Yes, sir. Can we expect you here shortly?"
"Yeah," he snaps out of his thoughts. "Yeah, I'll be right there."
He hangs up the phone, climbs out of bed, and begins searching for something to wear.
"Was that Olivia?" she asks.
"No, Casey. Go back to bed," he replies once he's found a clean shirt and pulls it on over his head.
"Then who was it? Where are you going?"
"The hospital," he answers as he grabs his cell phone and slides it into his pocket. He leans over her side of the bed and kisses her chastely on the lips. "I'll call you as soon as I know what's up," he tells her before heading on his way.
"Love you," she calls to his retreating form.
"Love you too," he answers as he heads out the door.
He sits and stares at her still form. It's been two years, three months, and four days since he's last laid eyes on her. He stares at a shell of the woman he once knew. Her skin is deathly pale and she is thin. Far too thin. Yet despite her ghastly appearance, he can still see the beauty of the woman he once loved and called his wife.
Her eyes open and she blinks rapidly, taking in her new surroundings. Sadness and disappointment immediately overwhelms her when she realizes she's failed again. She's still here. She looks around and her eyes settle on his. "What are you doing here?" she asks in a raspy voice.
"They called me. Apparently you still have me listed as your next of kin. You should probably have that changed."
"Yeah, I'll get right on that," she sits up and pulls the IV out of her hand then unclips the monitors from her skin. She stands on shaky legs and moves about the room in search of her clothes.
"Where do you think you're going?"
"Out of here," she answers as she looks in a nearby closet. She slams it closed when she comes up empty handed.
"Olivia, you need help. Heroine? Really, Olivia? You're better than that."
"No. I'm not. You made that quite clear. Where the fuck are my clothes?!" she growls in frustration, running her fingers through her long, scraggily hair. Her fingers snag on the knots and she fights to shake her fingers loose as she looks under the bed and finds a plastic bag with her clothes in it. She sheds the thin material of her johnny and he grimaces when he can see her ribs poke through her skin.
"Olivia, they can help you," he tries.
"Why the fuck do you care?"
"You know why I care."
"Whatever. Why don't you go back to my so-called best friend and give a fuck about her instead. I don't need your help. I can quit whenever I fucking want to."
"That's a lie and you know it."
"Serena, there you are! I've been looking all over for you. They had you under some pseudonym or something."
Elliot turns to see a man dressed in an expensive suit standing in the doorway. He is crisp from head to toe. Not a single hair out of place. Clean shaven. Smooth skinned. Hair styled to perfection. His pink tie perfectly matches the pin stripes in his suit. Not a scuff on his shiny leather shoes. His cufflinks match the pin in his tie, and Elliot could swear that even his nails are manicured. He watches as Olivia steps back into red stilettos that match her red dress. "No," he says and grabs her as she makes to walk past him. "You're not going anywhere."
"Get your hands off me," she says and shrugs off his grasp.
The man grins. "The possessive type, huh?" He grabs Olivia roughly by the chin. "You see this bitch? She belongs to me. You want a turn with her, then you're going to have to pay just like everyone else."
"Pay?" Elliot echoes because he cannot believe his ears. He stares at Olivia, but her eyes avoid his.
"Yes. Pay." The man reaches in his pocket and flicks a business card out at Elliot. "Call if you want a ride. Believe me she's worth every penny," he winks at him then grabs Olivia by the wrist and pulls her out the door behind him.
Elliot remains in a state of shock as he comes to grips with what he's just heard. He bends down and picks up the fallen business card.
Xavier's Girls On Call.
Anytime you want them.
Anything you need.
Anything you need? What the fuck does that mean?
She adds the finishing touches to her hair and looks in the mirror as she does a final once over. She needs new extensions, but this will have to do for now. As she takes in her appearance, she realizes that she barely recognizes herself. Her face is gaunt. Her skin, pale. Her collarbones pop out from under her skin. Though this is all nothing compared to the real issue:
She no longer knows who she is.
She unplugs her curling iron and heads back into her bedroom to slide into the hot pink cocktail dress. It should cling to her every curve, but she no longer has any. She does a final once over to make sure everything is in place. She adjusts her cleavage to make sure her breasts are exposed as much as possible without revealing any traces of the lingerie she wears underneath. Xavier always wants her to look as sexy as possible so that people know that she belongs to him. Free Advertising is what he calls it. She is his prized money maker and he makes sure nothing gets in the way of his money.
She thinks about how she got to this place. In a way, Xavier had been her savior. He had stalked her for weeks, but she'd avoided him. She didn't want some pimp to come in and make her do all the work and then take all of her money, but there had been a particularly cold night when things were especially slow and she was itching for a fix. He'd pulled up in his Mercedes and the warm air had wafted around her as he beckoned her to him. As they drove to a nearby hotel, he had discussed his business proposition. He offered to get her out of the ratty motel she had been living in and put her up in the nice apartment she is living in now. To keep a continuous supply of drugs. Whatever she needed or was in the mood for. As long as her drug of choice didn't affect her appearance. That was all the coaxing she needed, and once he had "sampled the goods," she was his. He moved her here to her current apartment, but that was only so that he could keep tabs on her at all times. He kept an eye on her every move and she couldn't go anywhere without him without his permission. She found that out the hard way when she went out for a walk one day and came back to find him waiting for her. He punched her so hard that she lost a tooth, which he had fixed the next day and had her pay for it by screwing the dentist who fixed it right there in the dental chair and again in his office a week later.
Xavier was good at weeding out the psychos, but as long as they were willing to pay the price they could do just about anything with her. Things that she buried in the deepest recesses of her mind. They were able to play out their deepest darkest fantasies with her. Fantasies she would never dream of. The right price made her theirs for the taking and as long as she did as Xavier said, she had a place to live, drugs to keep the pain away, and twenty percent to keep for herself. It wasn't a bad deal. She figured living her life this way was the proper way to end it.
It wasn't like anyone cared.
No one would miss her.
"You ready?" Xavier asks from the doorway.
She steps into her gold Louboutins and adjusts her necklace. "Yea," she answers as stares at herself in the mirror.
Xavier comes to stand behind her and gives her the once over. "Tomorrow I want you to go and get your hair done, and update your wardrobe. This is the fourth time I've seen you in this dress," he adjusts her breast and gives her another once over.
"I'll need more money."
"I'll pay them when I come and pick you up. And besides, I need to look over what you pick out."
"I thought you liked my taste."
"I do, but I still need to approve them."
She shrugs.
"Let me see your nails," he demands. she holds out her hands for inspection. "Hmm. Get your nails done, too. And some new lingerie. What are you wearing now?"
"Black lace. Pink ruffles."
"That'll do. This guy paid top dollar for you. He has you for the night, so come back here when you're done. He'll pay you at the end of the night. Make sure he becomes a regular."
"You know I will."
He tucks a curl into place and smiles. "That's my girl. Now go, the car's waiting for you."
"What about my fix?"
"It's in the car. You know I always take care of you. Now go. Make me some money."
She waits at the bar and sips her cosmopolitan as she waits for him to arrive. This place has become so familiar to her. They rotate locations to keep the regulars and bartenders from becoming too suspicious, but she's been here in enough to find its aroma comforting. She knows exactly how the scratches were made in the bar top. The best nights to come when there is a lull in the crowd. She knows the bartenders' shifts. The ones that want to take her home and the others that are suspicious of her. She almost likes it there except it's associated with the necessary evil that is her life.
"Serena?" she turns and takes in her John for the evening. This one is boyishly cute and young.
She smiles seductively. "Yes."
"I'm John," he smiles.
"Clever," she replies and eyes him skeptically. Something about him is off and yet vaguely familiar. Like she's seen him before, but she can't quite place him. She may not be a cop anymore, but she hasn't forgotten anything she learned during her fifteen years on the force.
"Huh?" he asks.
"Nothing. You ready to go?"
"Yeah, the limo is waiting outside."
She ignores the pang in her gut and quickly pays her bar tab then slides off the bar stool. She links arms with him and he leads her to the limo. The driver opens the car door and she slides in first.
"So, is this your first time?" she asks as the limo pulls away from the curb.
"What? Me? No, I'm not a virgin," he answers nervously.
"I meant with a professional."
"Umm. Yea. It is. How can you tell?"
"You seem nervous. But trust me, there's nothing for you to worry about," she says and begins to massage his cock through the thin layer of his pants.
She kisses him slowly and gradually his lips come alive and he kisses her back. Once he is hard she straddles him and delves her tongue deep into his mouth. His hands slide up her thighs and underneath the hem of her dress. She rocks gently against him and she is so focused on her task, her job of making him feel good that she doesn't notice when the car comes to a stop. She doesn't hear the footsteps that approach the limo or when the doors unlock. Suddenly the door flies open and strong arms grip her. She tries to fight him off, but he is too strong. His arm wraps around her neck and she feels herself begin to fade as she struggles against him. The darkness surrounds, and eventually envelops, her.
Once again, she fades into the black.
I was dead when I woke up this morning, I'll be dead before the day is done.
Music Credits: Seven Devils-Florence and the Machine