10am

Hermione cracked open one eye, and then the other. She groaned as a splitting pain shot through her head. She drank far too much last night.

"I'll just have one drink with you guys, but then I have to get home! Firewhiskey makes me crazy."

"Awe c'mon, Hermione! We all owe you a shot!"*

She had closed her first case as head of the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures. Gringotts could no longer use dragons to guard their underground vaults. It had been a 2 year long fight. Court date after court date, and so many late nights pouring over legal papers. After the final hearing, she had planned on going home and sleeping her weekend away. But her coworkers had dragged her out to a local pub and gotten her completely sloshed.

She groaned again and sat up in bed. Something blue and sparkly caught her eye. Ginny had left a hangover potion on her nightstand. Hermione unstoppered it and chugged the whole thing. She threw her legs over the side of her bed and fumbled around for her prosthetic. Odd, it was usually propped up against the side of her bed. She peered over the edge, it wasn laying on the floor, either. Perhaps it rolled underneath. She plopped down on the floor and checked. Nothing. Sitting up, she rubbed the back of her neck and surveyed the room. It was nowhere to be seen.

After an hour of searching her entire home, she summoned a muggle crutch and apparated to Ginny's to get a rundown of the events that happened last night. She didn't remember much after the 4th shot of liquor and people whooping and chanting her name.

11am

"Ginny!" Hermione called from her living room. She glanced at the clock on the wall. It was 11am.

"Granger? I'm up here!" Came Ginny's voice from upstairs.

"Do you happen to have my leg?" Asked Hermione, cringing at her own irresponsibility.

"Erm… no? You don't have it?" Asked Ginny, coming down the stairs.

"Do you really think I would be asking you if you had my leg, if I had it?" She asked sarcastically.

"Hmm. I guess not." Said Ginny. She hopped off the last step and swept her red hair up into a ponytail. "Gods, do you remember anything from last night?" She asked. Hermione shook her head.

"I remember taking shots with Luna and Theo, and I remember throwing my drink on McLaggen for grabbing my arse." She said, rubbing the back of her neck. It wasn't like her to drink past the point of being in control of herself. It had been so long since she had let her hair down.

Ginny nodded thoughtfully. "I remember getting kicked out of the Toad and Lily, and I remember punching Blaise Zabini in the nose." Ginny held up her left how and showing Hermione 4 bruised knuckles.

Hermione gasped, "why did you punch him?" Ginny shrugged.

"I've not the slightest clue."

There was a crashing sound from inside the closet behind them. Both girls jumped and drew their wands. Theo Nott stumbled out. He had antlers growing out of his head, and two nipple tassels suctioned to his bare chest.

"Where am I?" He asked, looking around frantically.

"Um, I think that's the least of your worries, mate." Said Hermione. Ginny doubled over in laughter.

After an hour of trying different potions and charms, Hermione had managed to shrink Theo's antlers down to tiny two-inch spikes.

"You don't remember how you got antlers?" She asked, judgement coloring her voice.

Theo raised a brow at her. "I'm not the one hopping around on one leg, Granger." Ginny snickered behind her.

Hermione groaned and massaged the bridge of her nose. "We're going to have to retrace our steps. I know I had my leg at the Leaky, and I remember getting kicked out of the Toad and Lily. At some point we had to have gone to The Bat, because those tassels on Theo belong to one of the dancers."

"How do you suppose that?" Asked Theo. Hermione grabbed one of the tassels and gave it a sharp tug. It pulled off Theo's chest with a loud 'pop!'

"Ow!" Whined Theo, massaging his nipple. Hermione inspected the tassel. Sure enough, a name was written on the inside of the suction cup. Lilith.

"Do you remember meeting a dancer named Lilith last night?" She asked. Ginny and Theo both shook their heads. "Then that's our first stop." Theo pulled the other tassel off his chest and accio'd his shirt. Nothing happened.

"Awe man!" He groaned, "I lost my favorite shirt!"

12:30pm

The three landed in front of Wizarding London's most popular burlesque club, The Bat. The club didn't open for another thirty minutes so the three walked two blocks down to a little cafe for some coffee and pastries.

"I can't believe you're making me wear this stupid shirt." Complained Theo.

"If you wake up, half naked, in my house with antlers sprouting out of your head, you better damn well believe I'm going to make you wear Harry's 'Gryffindor Rules' shirt." Said Ginny, pulling off a corner of her scone and popping it into her mouth. Theo pouted and crossed his arms.

"Where is Harry anyways?" Asked Hermione.

"He took Ron home last night and ended up crashing there. Said Ron was too sloshed to apparate home without splinching himself. Harry stayed to keep an eye on him." Said Ginny.

"Such a saint, that Potter." Said Theo. "I'd have taken his wand and let him stumble all over Britain after the shite he tried to pull with Granger last night."

"What?!" Asked Ginny and Hermione, both of them whipping their heads in Theo's direction.

"Weasley made a move on you, you don't remember that? He snogged you in the middle of the Toad and Lily You threw your drink on him, that's why we got thrown out."

Hermione shook her head, "I threw my drink on McLaggen because he grabbed my arse."

Theo laughed, "I don't remember that, but I definitely remember you throwing a drink on Weasley. I bought you another shot because of it."

Hermione groaned and dropped her head into her hands. She had thrown a drink on Ron and McLaggen? Ginny had punched Blaise in the nose, Theo had ended up with some burlesque dancer's tassels attached to his chest and her prosthetic leg was gone. She was never drinking again.

12:30pm

Draco Malfoy woke up with a head splitting headache. His jaw was sore, his wand was missing, and he was pretty sure he had gotten into a fistfight last night. Blaise had taken him out drinking to help him get his mind off of Astoria. His relationship with her had been doomed from the start. They both knew it. After two years of dating they had finally called it quits. They were in different places. She wanted to travel, and experience the world, he wanted to settle down and start a family. He had had enough "experiences" during the war. All he wanted was a quiet, perfectly boring life.

He threw his legs over the side of his bed and stood up.

"Oi! Watch it!" Draco stumbled sideways and fell flat on his arse. Blaise sat up and glared at him. "You stepped on my shoulder, prick."

"Why were you asleep on my floor?" Draco asked.

"You wouldn't share your bed with me." Said Blaise simply.

"What happened last night?" Asked Draco, rubbing his throbbing skull.

"We drank. A lot. I'm pretty sure you got your arse handed to you by some burlesque dancer." Said Blaise.

"That somehow doesn't answer my question at all." Said Draco, standing up and holding a hand out to Blaise.

Draco hunted around in his bathroom cabinet for a hangover potion while Blaise tried to recall the events of last night. "We stopped at the Leaky, and I think Weasley and Potter were there. I definitely remember Theo, too. We all walked down to The Bat and I don't remember much from there. I do remember some dancer slugging you in the jaw though.

Draco pulled out two hangover potions and tossed one to Blaise. They unstoppered then and clinked them together before tossing them back.

"I'm going to make some food." Announces Blaise. Draco sat back down on the bed and put his head in his hands. He had lost his girlfriend and gotten punched in the face all in the same day. That was just great.

"Drake!" Came Blaise's panicked voice.

Draco jumped up and sprinted into the living room. Blaise was looking at him in horror, in his arms was a prosthetic leg.