Yup, I'm back with another Elsanna story, but this time, I'm switching it up a little. Both Elsa and Anna are intersex in this story and it will be narrated solely by their mother, Iduna rather than switching narrators every chapter. I'm aware I'm not the first person to write a story like this but I need to get some smut out of my system. This story does contain incest, so if you're not into that, feel free to venture to another M rated fic :) Now, on with the story…

Agnarr was dead.

Usually, one wouldn't grieve the death of their unofficial ex-husband, go to his funeral or work out his assets now that he was gone, but normalcy left my life a long time ago.

We got together in college. I was an ecology major and he was a literature major. A pair that not many of our peers expected, but all of them supported. I was head over heels for him and he loved me as much as I loved him. We were lovers, we were best friends, we knew everything about each other. After graduating, we moved in together, putting off marriage until we were more financially stable. Weddings were expensive… they still are. Though, that plan did have to be put on hold when we found out I was pregnant.

Elsa came as a surprise to both of us and that's when the first unique part of our family was brought to light. She was intersex. Looking back, it was different at first. Really different. But now it's just part of her and I love and accept her for that. Not much was said about being intersex at the time, just that it would be different when she grew up and had to find a partner. Agnarr and I treated her no differently than we would have if she had been born with a vagina, and it came in handy because three years later, Anna was born the same way.

Now, the chance of having 2 intersex children were slim to none. Or at least that's what the doctor had told me. But it seemed like we defied the odds.

The first few years after the girls were born, we were a picture perfect family. We never got officially married but practically saw each other as husband and wife. Elsa and Anna obviously saw us as Mommy and Daddy. The two girls were very different personality wise. Elsa was quiet and reserved while Anna was outgoing and bubbly, but they were both such bundles of joys in our lives. Unfortunately, as time went on, the spark between Agnarr and I was lost. Some may have said it was because we had children together so young and rushed into it, others might say it's just a thing that happens and some relationships don't last. The feelings, or lack thereof, were mutual, but neither of us resented the other person. Eventually, we decided to break it off, going our separate ways but still remaining friends.

Normalise being friends with your exes.

Neither of us could bear to separate the girls. They acted as support for each other, both born so uniquely. Keeping them apart would do nobody any good. Instead, we chose the "if we had been married" route. If we had been married and officially divorced, we would have shared custody of the girls, rotating every week and making sure we both could accommodate them. So that's what we did.

Agnarr stayed in our apartment in the city while I moved to a small, quaint neighbourhood on its outskirts. In my house, Elsa and Anna shared a spacious bedroom, their queen sized beds facing each other next to a large window. My room was right next to theirs and there were many nights I stuck my head in to shush them because I could hear them giggling into the night through the walls. They shifted between households on alternate weeks and we even spent holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas together, Agnarr, Elsa, Anna and me. The girls were understanding and never pressured us to live together again. They understood that their parents had grown apart and that it was okay. They still loved us all the same.

As the years went on, my daughters matured and grew. Elsa went through a dark patch during college, becoming more and more self conscious, isolating herself from everyone, even Anna. It was a terrible thing for a mother to have to watch. She fell deeper and deeper into a dark abyss from which I couldn't coax her from. Sometimes, I still wonder how Anna managed to get her to open up again, to physically open the door to the spare room she'd been locking herself in whenever she got the chance. The close relationship my daughters had after those moments of conflict made me remember how much I treasured them.

Cancer is a vicious thing. It can come out of nowhere and ate at Agnarr from the inside, During that time, the girls stayed at his apartment for longer. I knew they wanted as much time as possible with him as he climbed the stages and was more than happy to give them all the time they needed together. It was always "too something." It was spotted too late. It spread too quickly. The top tier treatment was too expensive. It was too much to delay the inevitable.

A year. It took him in a year.

He was in and out of hospital, always with one of us by his side every time. By the end of it, in the final few weeks, he asked to go home. He knew there was nothing that could be done, despite me trying to convince him otherwise. The roles were really reversed there. While I was grasping at straws, he was looking at the facts and knew what had to be done. It was usually the other way round with us. Our jobs made it so that Agnar was always looking at things from a million different perspectives, finding so many different meanings to one text, while for me a fact was a fact and nothing could change it.

Deep down, I knew he was right. He left the hospital and returned to that first apartment. In those final few weeks, I moved back in temporarily, sleeping on the sofa but staying by his side most of the day, especially while the girls were off at college. I still remember one of our last conversations.

"Iduna?"

I looked up from my laptop to see him staring at me, his body much frailer than the one I'd fallen in love with decades ago. A novel sat on his lap, opened but unread. "What is it?"

"Do you wish things could have been different?"

"What do you mean?"

"Should we have gotten married? Should we even have gotten together in the first place? Did we make the right choices?"

"Oh Agnarr," I offered him a small smile. "We did what we could have done in our circumstances. If we had gotten married, things could have arguably been a lot worse. Our feelings for each other just didn't work out, and that's okay. They don't deter our love for the girls, and in fact, the fact that we're still on such good terms is way better than other parents who have separated. So no, I don't hold a single regret. And you shouldn't either."

He let out a tired laugh. "When I'm gone-"

"Don't say that."

"We both know it's nearly time. As a scientist, you should know. The facts are indisputable."

"Still, I don't like it when you say that." I took his hand in mind, squeezing gently. The skin felt papery, delicate beneath my fingertips, as if a hard poke could rip a hole right through it.

"Iduna…" his expression was soft. "You may not be losing a husband or a significant other, but you'll be losing a friend. Who knows everything about you. Who knows you're scared to be alone with the girls but who is here to tell you that you'll all be fine. You might think that you need to be strong for them, but remember to give yourself a break. You'll be there for each other to lean on, to grieve on."

"We're all going to miss you. So much."

"I know."

A moment of silence washed over us. We sat in the presence of one another, both of us knowing it could quite possibly be the last time we could.

"Do you remember when we met?" he asked.

"I do," I replied sheepishly. "You wouldn't stop embarrassing me with that story for years."

"I was sitting under a tree on campus, the big one near the quad, reading a book for class. My vision was suddenly blocked by a head of dark brown hair."

"Ugh, stop!" I tried to be serious, but couldn't hold back a giggle.

"Some insane freshman was hanging upside down from that tree, her knees hooked around a branch."

"I was just collecting a sample for class, I swear!" I defended.

"She asked me what I was reading. Before I could introduce her to the revelation that was Danish literature, she lost her grip and came crashing down into my lap."

I held my head in my hands, my cheeks beet red. "Yeah, well, it all worked out in the end, didn't it?"

"Mmmm," he took a break to cough, the horrible strangled sound making my skin crawl. Agnarr examined my facial expression. "What's wrong?"

"I'm scared," I admitted. "I know there isn't much of a choice, but I don't want to be left alone, to take care of Elsa and Anna myself."

"Our girls are grown," he said matter of factly. "Heck, they're both in college already. They'll be okay." Agnarr held my hand. "You'll be okay."

XXX

He was gone that night. Anna, Elsa and I were by his side when he relinquished his final breath.

The days, weeks, months after all blurred into one hazy mess.

First the wake, then the funeral. What kind of casket? Burial or cremation? What was he going to wear? Who was going to give the eulogy?

Then, his assets. Who got his apartment? His car? His research papers? Who inherited what?

Then, it was a matter of the girls.

Agnarr's apartment was sold, and the girls moved all their things to our house in the suburbs. They took a little time off school and I took leave from work to be with them. Time to grieve. Though, that's the thing about death I suppose. Of course, the dead are never forgotten, and the living never forget the pain of losing them. But life goes on, with or without them, and we had to adjust to a new normal.

A few months had passed since Agnarr's passing. Work kept me coming home late most nights, but I tried my best to be a pillar of support for Elsa and Anna. We spent most weekends together, offering comfort to one another just by being in the same room, even if we were absorbed with different things. That particular night, I had been at the labs until close to midnight, my eyelids heavy, my vision blurry and my mind barely thinking straight. When I reached home, I was quiet, every movement as delicate as a snowflake for fear of waking them. I passed their room on the way to mine, surprised to see a line of light illuminating the hallway floor. Their door was left ajar and I could hear a soft sniffling. Just as I was about to knock and ask if they were alright, I heard their voices and my actions faltered.

"I just miss him." Anna's voice cracked, missing its usual cheer. While it had been a few months, she would occasionally sink into smaller bouts of darker moods, though not nearly as extreme as Elsa did.

"I do too," Elsa replied. By this time, she missed him, but she had also grown to accept her father's death, her moods significantly better than Anna's. Better than I had ever seen, actually. "But we still have each other. We have to be strong for each other. And for Mom." This line tugged at my heartstrings. It was comforting to know that they were there for each other, but at the same time, I didn't want them to feel like they had to be strong for me. That was my job.

While one part of me wanted to nudge their door open and join them, I also didn't want to disrupt their moment. Elsa was always a good older sister, when they were little and especially after she became more open with us again. I knew Anna was in good hands.

"You'll never stop missing him," Elsa continued. I imagined she had an arm wrapped around her little sister, pulling her close. "But it will get easier as time goes on."

"You really think so?"

"I know so."

I could hear Anna release a contented noise which sounded like a cross between a sigh and a hum. The two of them could be heard shuffling around for a bit, before their movements stilled.

"I love you, Anna."

"I love you too, Elsa."

At first, I chalked this up to sisterly love, ready to retreat to my room for the night. Then, something happened. Something that made me stop in my tracks. Something… unexpected.

The line of light in the hallway let me see their shadows, their forms so close, blocking the light but also revealing their every move. I watched with bated breath as they neared each other, one of their hands reaching out to touch the face of the other, before the faint yet undeniable sound of kissing filled the silence.

A/N - Hello dear reader! I'm gonna be honest, I'm not entirely sure where I'm going with this. Of course, we know what this will eventually lead to, but unlike some of my other stories, I don't have the entire thing planned out yet. Well, we'll see where my mind takes me. As always, reviews of what you want to see are welcome. Until next chapter, stay hydrated and wear a mask x