I'm working on the other one too, I swear. This was just fast and could be typed out between classes (and possibly during lecture).
p.s. Thanks to Jason M. Lee for catching a typo!
p.p.s. Yes, I do need a beta. Pretty badly. Thanks for the catch L!
Disclaimer: I claim only the dialog.
1- Bribery:
It didn't matter how many times she said no, he just kept coming back... and with goodies.
"Kao'u? Will you Ma'wy me 'en we g'ow up?"
"NO!"
"I'll give ou my favo'ite bo'kken."
"… and 'ou'r sh'pin'ee 'op?"
.
-w-
.
"Give my ribbon back!"
"Only if you let me walk home with you today."
"No."
"I'll buy you ice cream?"
"…"
"Two scoops. Cookie Dough."
"Banana split."
"Done."
.
-w-
.
"Come see Batman Saturday?"
"No."
"I have tickets to ooopening night."
"No, Kenshin."
"I hear Joseph Gordon-Levitt is in it..."
"Are you bribing be with another man?"
" … oops. Lost the Batman tickets… Moonrise Kingdom?"
.
-w-
.
"Spar with me?"
"You'll flatten me"
"Says the national title holder. I'll feed you after."
"You just never compete. I can feed me."
"I'll feed you real food."
"Insulting my cooking will get you nowhere."
"I'm making Oden."
"Psh. Oden Schmoden. I can get free, string-free oden from Tae's."
"And wasabi eel. "
"…Shinai or bokken?"
.
-w-
.
"Can I stay with you?"
"What?!"
"My apartment manager was arrested last night. The whole building is being evicted."
"Told you that place was sketch. Go stay with Hiko."
"Hiko would have me sleep in the dog house and you have an empty room. I'll pay rent."
"…"
"I'll cook."
"…"
"And clean."
"…"
"And foot massage."
"… only till you find a new place."
.
-w-
.
.
-w-
.
.
-w-
.
"Aren't you glad I give great foot massages?"
"Don't remind me. That's what got me here in the first place."
"You're beautiful this way."
"Well, I'm glad you've developed a taste for bloated whales."
"Stop fishing for compliments, you're gorgeous."
"It's a little hard to believe when you can't see your own feet."
"Would a peanut-butter-Spanish-omelet-burrito make you feel better?"
"You can't solve everything with food and foot messages!"
"So, that's a yes then?"
" …with blueberry sauce on top."