ESPOV
"…and then I walked to my car and found someone trying to steal it! Can you believe that? But then a beautiful angel stepped out and I knew I'd give her anything. It was your mommy! I knew right then that I loved her, and once I found out about you, I loved her even more. Your mommy is the most beautiful and amazing person on this earth. We're so lucky to have her."
My eyes are heavy as I focus and try to force them open. Immediately I notice a small ache between my legs and a sticky wetness there as well.
Finally I'm able to force my eyes open, but quickly close them again, whimpering when the light blinds me.
"Hey" Carlisle whispers, his voice closer than before, "you're okay. Everything's fine. You're coming off some pretty powerful drugs, just take your time."
I slowly focus on my breathing and finally I'm able to flutter my eyes open. Carlisle's handsome face is right in front of me, but for the first time, he's not the one I want.
"Where is she?" I croak.
"She's right here." He grins holding up the pink bundle in his arms and I reach out my hands for her. My limbs feel like they're dead, but nothing could stop me from holding her right now.
"She's been patiently waiting for you to wake up." He says placing her gently into my arms.
My sweet angel is looking up at me with cloudy blue eyes, and my heart melts. She's wearing a soft pink knitted hat and a white onesie that says "hello world" in silver sparkles. I immediately tug off her hat to find a completely bald head. I laugh and kiss her smooth skin before replacing her beanie. The white and pink blanket she's swaddled in covers her legs and feet so I quickly unwrap her to find skinny chicken legs, and tiny sock-covered feet. Her socks are quickly removed as I count her 10 sweet toes before putting them back. I quickly swaddle her again so she doesn't get cold and cuddle her against my chest.
"Is she okay?" I ask Carlisle, taking my eyes off my sweet baby girl for the first time.
"She's perfect: 6 pounds, 11 ounces, and 18 inches long. She's tiny because she was a little early, but she's completely developed and normal."
I breathe out a sigh of relief against her soft forehead when the memory of Carlisle yelling and something pouring out of my body hits me.
"What happened? How long was I out?"
"You had a postpartum hemorrhage. The medication to control your pain knocked you out. You've been asleep for about an hour. We controlled the bleeding and you're fine. Little Miss here had a few ounces of formula, but you can still breastfeed if you want; she's new so she'll adjust well. Other than that, we've just been waiting for you to wake up."
"Thank you." I tell him, tears burning my throat. "You saved both of our lives."
Carlisle leans forward to lay his forehead on mine as his eyes close.
"I was so scared." He whispers. "I was doing everything right, but when your blood started pooling on the floor, my heart dropped out of my chest. It was the worst moment of my life."
"Hey" I whisper running one hand through his hair. "I'm okay. We're okay and we're all finally together."
He nods and kisses me before leaning down and kissing our sweet baby girl.
"Thank you so much, Esme. I never knew life could be this amazing."
"Neither did I." I whisper.
Those several minutes we spend enjoying each other and our baby are ones I know I'll never forget.
"Are the kids here?" I ask after awhile.
"Yes. They're all waiting patiently for us to have some alone time before they officially meet their sister."
"They can come in. I'm ready." I tell him.
"Um…love, you might want to put a shirt on first."
I look down to see that I'm topless and my heavy breasts are out in the open.
"Here" he says handing me his shirt I was wearing earlier. I reluctantly have to give him back the baby so I can put my arms through the shirt, but once I do, I get her right back.
"Ready?" he asks once he's tucked the blankets around me and made sure nothing inappropriate is showing.
"Yep." I nod and smile.
It's only a few seconds before there's a timid knock at the door.
"Come in." Carlisle and I say at the same time. One by one the kids file in led by Rosalie and Emmett who have already seen their sister.
"Hi guys." I say softly. "We would like for you to meet your baby sister: Addyson Anne Cullen."
Carlisle's eyes twinkle as I say "Cullen" and the others smile at the name Carlisle and I agreed upon just a few weeks ago.
"Named after her beautiful mother." Carlisle whispers and I smile shyly.
The kids are all standing in front of us smiling and cooing over their new sister.
"Rosalie" I call "would you like to hold her? I'm sure she'd love to officially meet her godmother."
Rosalie gasps and lets out a quiet sob before nodding and coming over to take her.
"Thank you." She whispers and Carlisle and I nod.
"We would also like Emmett to be her godfather." Carlisle says, and for the first time, I see Emmett at a loss for words as he just nods his head.
I know immediately that we made the right choice. If it weren't for Rosalie, I wouldn't be here right now, and Emmett has had a special bond with Addyson since she was still inside me.
Carlisle sits on the edge of my bed holding my hand as the kids carefully pass the baby between them.
"She's amazing." Alice says smiling.
"Yes she is." I whisper and Carlisle squeezes my hand.
"And how are you?" Bella asks me.
"Um…sore and a little achy, but very happy." I tell her honestly and she smiles and nods.
Jasper is the last one in line to hold Addy and I can feel his nerves as he gently and awkwardly takes her in his arms. Addyson coos and waves her hands around before laying one on his chest and softly closing her eyes. In that moment, I see big, strong Jasper melt. He holds her the longest out of all of the kids as she sleeps until she suddenly squawks and starts to whimper. Jasper's eyes go wide and he hurries to hand her back to me.
"I think she's hungry." He says awkwardly and I nod.
"That's our cue." Edward says and starts to file everyone out of the room. "Let us know if you need anything." He calls out before closing the door.
I look up to find Carlisle chuckling and shaking his head until Addyson lets out another squawk.
"Do you want to try breastfeeding, love, or do you want me to warm up some formula?"
"I want to try." I tell him.
He helps me out of my shirt and Addyson immediately starts rooting around on my naked chest.
"Just remember, you're both new at this so try not to get discouraged."
I nod and lift my breast to her mouth; she roots around for my nipple before finding it and latching on. She lets go a few times like she's confused—probably because she drank from a bottle first—but I'm persistent and she finally starts sucking. Once the flow starts in her mouth, she starts eating with new vigor. Carlisle leans down and nuzzles his nose to the top of her head.
"Now that's gorgeous."
I smile at him and lean my head against his shoulder while our daughter eats. My nipple is sore when she's done, but it's a small price to pay for the intimate act of feeding my daughter from my own body.
Once she's full and comfortable, she falls asleep in my arms. I wipe the little drop of milk off of her dimpled cheek giggling as her face twitches under my touch.
"Can I hold her?" Carlisle asks softly.
"Of course. You don't have to ask. She's your daughter too."
He grins and kisses me on the cheek before carefully taking Addyson into his arms. He's the epitome of perfection: his strong arms so carefully wrapped around our baby girl, his gorgeous face full of love, and his chest bare as Addy snuggles into his perfect skin.
"You're beautiful." I whisper and then blush when I realize I said it out loud.
He grins at my blush and kisses me softly.
"There's nothing in this world more beautiful than you right now, angel."
"I'm covered in blood and sweat." I scoff.
"You just gave birth to our daughter. I don't care if you're covered in mud, you're gorgeous."
I just shake my head at this crazy man and lean back on my pillows. Carlisle hums and sings to Addyson as he rocks her, and his beautiful voice makes my eyelids droop reminding me of how tired I am.
Addyson's crying wakes me from a deep sleep and I struggle to remember drifting off.
"What's wrong?" I ask without opening my eyes. I can feel Carlisle in the room with me, and I know he has our baby with him.
"Somebody has a stinky diaper." Carlisle coos and I open my eyes to see him changing Addy who is squawking at him in the process. When he took her blanket off, she probably got cold—hence the squawking.
"Hey precious girl" Carlisle sing-songs. "Its okay. We have to clean your bottom so you don't get sore. You'll feel so much better once you're all clean."
I giggle at the 400 year old vampire doctor cooing about poopy diapers.
"I think your mommy is laughing at me, my little peanut."
I laugh again and he grins at me over his shoulder. I love the look of complete bliss on his face.
Once Addy's diaper is changed and she's swaddled up all warm and cozy, Carlisle hands her to me where she puts her head against my heart and thumb in her mouth before falling asleep.
After holding her for a minute, my sticky armpits remind me that I'm disgusting.
"Carlisle? Is it okay for me to shower?"
"Of course, but I'll need to help you."
"Okay" I whisper, unsure of what to do next.
There's a knock on the door and Alice sticks her head in.
"We can take Addy. She'll be fine until you're finished."
"Thank you." I tell her and she comes to lift her out of my arms.
"No problem at all." She grins and walks out of the room cooing to Addy about Vogue and shopping.
"You ready?" Carlisle asks.
"Yep. Um…how do we do this?"
"You'll swing your legs over so you can stand. The pad in your underwear will keep you from bleeding anywhere and I'll hold onto you as you walk to the bathroom. Slowly. You lost a lot of blood and you're still bleeding, which is normal for any new mother. Because of your hemorrhage you'll likely be dizzy and disoriented when you stand. Once we're in the bathroom, I'll help you undress and you'll sit on the bench while I wash you."
"Okay" I whisper and turn around to stand.
Immediately the room spins and sparkles, and Carlisle's hold keeps me from falling over. His strong hands on me never falter as we walk very slowly to the bathroom. I'm exhausted once we're there, and it's a blessing that I can sit down in the shower. Before turning the water on, Carlisle helps me remove my shirt and underwear. The thick blood on the pad embarrasses me and I have to look away.
"Hey, this is completely normal. You've gone nine months without your regular cycle. Your body's just catching up. It's perfectly natural."
I nod but continue to look away until he strips and turns the water on. Carlisle sets the shower head so it rains down on me and I close my eyes—I'm pretty sure this is the greatest shower of my life.
"You're very euphoric right now, love." Carlisle chuckles.
"This feels amazing." I moan as he shampoos my hair.
I rest and relax as Carlisle takes care of me and before I know it, I'm clean and feel like a new woman. Carlisle helps me step out of the shower, and dry off before carrying me to the bedroom. He pulls a clean pad from the small refrigerator, placing it in a clean pair of panties. I look at him curiously before I feel the cold against my center. I moan as it helps with the ache and I vow to never question Carlisle again—even mentally. He helps me into a pair of yoga pants and a blue and white t-shirt that is made for breastfeeding; it has layers and open flaps on the chest so there's easy access for Addy.
Sitting in the armchair, I let Carlisle brush my hair and pull it back into a low ponytail. He kisses the back of my head and leaves me sitting as he goes to the bed and changes the sheets in less than 30 seconds. My jaw hits my chest as I watch him, and he laughs and helps me into bed.
"Thank you." I whisper and lean up to kiss him.
"Anything." He vows against my lips as his tongue pokes out to taste me.
Addyson's signature squawk interrupts us along with a knock at the door.
"I think she's hungry." Alice calls and Carlisle goes over to unlock the door. Addyson's blue-gray eyes are wide open as Carlisle takes her in his arms and hands her to me.
"Hey pretty girl." I whisper to her. "Did you have fun with your brothers and sisters? I hope they weren't too bad an influence on you." As I talk she calms down and just looks up at me wide-eyed.
It's easier this time as I take my breast out and get her settled. She has a little trouble latching on, but she gets it after a minute.
"My smart girl." Carlisle coos at her. He's moved to sit on my other side so he can be right next to her as she eats. His eyes never leave her suckling face and his fingers trail along the top of her head, her cheek, and my naked breast. After all of the things we've been through, this might be the most intimate. Addyson coos and gurgles once she's done eating and Carlisle takes her so he can burp and settle her. She quickly falls back to sleep and I'm beginning to think that's all newborns do: eat, sleep, and poop.
I'm surprised when Carlisle sets her down in the crib next to my bed and crawls in with me. My belly is still pudgy and round, but there's now enough room for me to lay my head on his chest and cuddle into him.
"How are you feeling?" He asks me.
"Okay. A little sore and really tired."
"That's to be expected, love. You lost a lot of blood.
"I'm also starving. Can I have anything to eat?"
"Of course! Why didn't you tell me?" he jumps up and darts from the room. In five minutes he's back with a sandwich, some fruit, and a cookie.
"Eat only what you can. Don't force it. You might be nauseated and sensitive to food for awhile."
I nod but I have no problem finishing everything on my plate. Once I'm done, Carlisle crawls back into bed with me and I resume my snuggling. My eyes are drooping and I lose the battle to keep them open as I drift off.
"Esme?" Carlisle whispers.
"Hmm?"
"Thank you. For giving me everything."