Ugh…this song fit pretty well, but I think I rambled too much….It's not my best. u.u; Oh well, enjoy another two a.m. song fic from yours truly.
The song: "Crazy For This Girl" by Evan and Jaron. Not mine, and neither is RK.
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{She rolls the window down
And she
Talks over the sound}
"Kenshin! Look!" Kaoru had me by the arm now, and I suddenly realized why sometimes, it was best not to take her shopping with me, but I loved the company, and it was one of those rare occurrences where neither of us had a care in the world. There were no new opponents, there was no one hurting Kaoru….it was perfect, and I honestly didn't mind the fact that she seemed to want to see everything…She deserved it, after all…She was in my presence, and I had put her into danger so many times before.
"Yes, Kaoru-dono?" I replied, amusedly. "What do you want this one to s--" Too late; I was already dragged over to a jewelry stall. Oddly, though, I never really saw Kaoru wear much jewelry at all, so why she had this sudden interest in expensive gold and silver was lost on me.
"Pretty, hm?" She breathed, her head bent over a few trays of...rings?
"Yes, Kaoru-dono." I replied, just to agree with her. While they were gorgeous, I didn't know why she would care…..
But then I realized how much of a jerk I was being. She was a woman after all --a swordswoman, admittedly, but still…she was allowed to find the beauty in jewelry.
She sighed wistfully, then left, leaving me to follow her.
{Of the cars that pass us byAnd I don't know why
But she's changed my mind.}
Tofu for the night's meal in hand, we turned to leave, and out of the corner of my eye, I saw a young couple holding hands, walking closely. I then looked to Kaoru, and I could, somehow, see us in the very same position. I never would admit it to her --she was so innocent, so pure, but…maybe there was a chance.
I loved her more than anything; it hurt to be away from her. I was going to leave, after a few weeks of staying at the dojo, after our first meeting, but I wanted to stay. I needed to stay. She showed me what it felt like to be accepted for who I was, and with a title like the one I donned, it was uncommon to find someone willing to look behind the hitokiri, and into my heart, where she stayed, permanently.
{Would you look at herShe looks at me
She's got me thinking about her constantly.}
She turned back to face me, a hint of confusion in her eyes. "Kenshin, are you coming or what?" She asked, with her hands resting on her delicate hips.
"Oh, sorry, Kaoru-dono." Oh, what she didn't know --that I was too busy thinking about her to keep up. She seemed to have no idea, even though there was a slight blush creeping up my cheeks.
{But she don't know how I feel
And as she carries on without a doubt
I wonder if she'll figure out
I'm crazy for this girl}
She turned back around, and began to walk again, but I quickly caught up, walking slightly behind her and to the left. She didn't seem to know anything, and that was the way I liked it. What would she do if she knew that a rurouni like I was…crushing on her? I was falling in love fast for her, but it was never meant to be. It was best she didn't know anything…I was fearing rejection, perhaps, or that she would get hurt. And, while it was selfish, I think it was equal feelings of both. I didn't want my heart broken by Kaoru, though I would understand why she would never love me...so many factors going against us.
We reached the dojo in what seemed like both record and slow timing. I walked towards the kitchen, Kaoru heading off to practice for a short time, and I was to make dinner for the both of us, Sano and Yahiko both conveniently having other plans for the evening.
{She was the one to hold me
The night
The sky fell down}
We ate dinner quietly, Kaoru uncharacteristically reserved and keeping her thoughts to herself. I bade her goodnight, quite early, after finishing the dishes. It was to be a long night ahead, I knew.
I was pretty quiet that night, until midnight, when I crept outside to look at the stars. It was a common practice of mine; I thought that maybe it would help calm me. The demons of the past had leapt upon me again, and with good reason to…Remembering that day…For some random reason, it seemed to make itself known when I thought I was the happiest.
I was musing over my dead beloved, my silent tears of agony that I housed for so long. I could have sworn Kaoru was asleep…
But I was wrong.
"Kenshin?" Her tired voice rang out through the courtyard. She could see me.
Lovely.
"Yes, Kaoru-dono?" I asked, as evenly as I could, but I could tell my tone was shaking. I didn't want her to see my cry, because I didn't want to explain…
Too late.
"What's wrong, Kenshin?" She walked over to me, clad in only a sleeping yukata and sandals for walking across the dirt covered yard.
"Kaoru-dono, this one wishes you to return to bed…It's nothing for you to worry about, that it is not."
She didn't listen to me. I knew she wouldn't, because she was always that caring.
She took a seat next to me, taking one hand of mine and holding it in one of her own. "Tell me, Kenshin, why are you crying? I've never seen you cry, something must be wrong…." She sounded distressed; was I really capable of worrying her?
"It's just the past again….this one was merely thinking about it, and it…"
She cut me off abruptly.
"Upsets you," She added, nodding. "But Kenshin…..you are no longer the hitokiri that you once were. You are a wonderful person, who is always there for me…"
She was blushing, and I can't say I didn't enjoy it. She looked so cute when she blushed.
"I am there for you, because I care about you, Kaoru-dono." I explained, though really knew not why.
"I care about you, too, Kenshin…" She said, and her face seemed to be nearing mine, slowly.
"Kaoru…" I said her name without the honorific, as if it were natural. "I…"
Her lovely azure eyes slid shut, as her mouth parted open, just a bit.
"Aishiteru." I said, and immediately felt an odd mix of relief and fright wash over me.
"Mou..aishiteru." She whispered to me, before our lips met, and I kissed her for the first time, feeling like the luckiest person in the world.
Forgive me, Tomoe.
{And what was I thinking whenThe world didn't end
Why didn't I know what I know now.}
We slowly pulled apart, a smile on her lips, and a heavy blush covering her cheeks, both of us a little slight of breath.
"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" She asked, a valid question that I was also now asking myself.
"I….This one thought that you would be hurt, Kaoru-dono. And also…well…rejected…" It was such a lousy excuse when spoken.
"No. Never."
"Thank you, Kaoru-dono…But this one wishes us both to bed, now. It is late, and Yahiko will need training."
Another great excuse on my part.
"Oyasumi nasai, Kenshin…" She said, as I stood and extended a hand to help her up.
"Oyasumi nasai…." I watched her go back to her room, and oddly...I think we both weren't ready to go to sleep. I felt so awful. I told her I loved her, and I did kiss her, which was really a goal for me, but….after that, I pushed her away, just like I always do. I needed to talk to her about this, tomorrow….It was too late, now.
{Would you look at herShe looks at me
She's got me thinking about her constantly
But she don't know how I feel}
The next morning when I awoke, she was still asleep, so I made breakfast for the two of us, as Yahiko was at the Akabeko, and Sano was…well…at his house. Strangely, neither seemed to be coming for breakfast, but I was just fine with that.
Kaoru awoke and came inside about five minutes after I had finished, and the way she walked in and faced me wasn't what I expected at all. She smiled, but said nothing, and sat down across from me, eating without looking up once.
"Something the matter, Kaoru-dono?" I asked, though knowing her, she probably wouldn't tell me.
"Oh, no….Kenshin, there's nothing wrong." She said, quietly, and having finished quickly, she stood up. "It's just going to be a busy day…With training and all."
"Busy, you say?" I asked, hoping to merely extend the conversation.
"I'm teaching at a dojo across town today…We need the extra money."
"Oh. If there is anything this one can do…"
"Thanks Kenshin, but....there's really not much you can do."
"Alright…" I trailed off, noticing her and my replies were rather short.
"I'll see you later! Thanks for breakfast, Kenshin!" She ran outside, already in her hakama and gi.
But why was she in such a rush to leave?
{And as she carries on without a doubtI wonder if she'll figure out
I'm crazy for this girl}
"She's just busy....or maybe it's me. I'm probably just imagining things," I told myself, feeling very...lonely at the dojo by myself, as the situation didn't often arise.
Speak of the devil, I heard the gate crash closed as Sano came running into the kitchen, and amazingly, not for food.
"Kenshin, you idiot!"
"Pleasant morning to you, too, Sanosuke." I said, rolling my eyes.
"You did NOT just do what Jou-chan said you did!"
"Oro?" I was confused…what did Kaoru say, anyways?
"I was told all about it…Kenshin, you need to hurry up and do something."
"Please explain."
"You kissed her…then sent her away? That was stupid, Kenshin, even for you."
"What does this have to do with anything?"
"She thinks you made a mistake!"
"Oro?! She thinks this one did what?!" Oh no….I knew what Sano meant, and if Kaoru really did think that, then I was in for a world of hurt.
"She thinks that you…I dunno, you changed your mind or something." He paused to shrug. "I guess it's a paranoid woman thing…"
"Thank you, Sano…" I said, as I headed to my room to retrieve something. Sano was quick at my heels.
"What are you gunna do about this, Kenshin?" He asked, casually.
"It's nothing, Sano." He'd find out soon enough. "Look, I have to go run some errands for Kaoru-dono, so would you please tell her this if she comes home before I do?"
"Sure thing, Kenshin…."
"Thank you.." By now, I was at the gated entrance.
"Hey, Kenshin?"
"Yes?"
"Don't let Jou-chan down."
"I wouldn't ever."
With that, I left.
I felt like such a fool…the things I do for love, eh? I had just told Kaoru I loved her, supposedly sent her away, and now she's convinced I hate her.
Oh, how I sometimes question her thinking.
I suppose it was my fault, and now I have to rectify it, somehow…Alas, I found myself in the same place I was yesterday, overlooking the ring trays in the market again.
"What do you need, sir?" A woman pleasantly looked me over, her intent gaze caught on the hilt of my sakabatou.
"Erm…" The way she was staring was making me uncomfortable. "I was looking for a ring, that I was.""Like…a western engagement ring?" She hinted, smiling. I remember Tae and Kaoru speaking of engagement rings once, and...that unfortunate incident, which I am still trying to forget.
"Sort of." I said, simply.
"Well then…" She brought out a wooden tray of the finest silver and gold rings. "There's bound to be a perfect one for whoever the lucky lady is."
I said nothing in reply, peering at each individual ring with a critical eye, until one caught my attention.
"This one, for sure." I said, quickly. It was a silver band, but the gem in the center was the exact color of her eyes, undeniably, and in the shape of a small heart. There were a few diamonds surrounding it, glimmering in the sunlight.
"That one?" The woman whistled. "That one's gunna cost you."
After a few moments of bargaining, I left the stall, the small black box in the sleeve of my gi for protection.
Kaoru was at the dojo when I arrived, though luckily I was only a few minutes behind her.
"Would you like this one to make a bath for you, Kaoru-dono?" I asked, peering at her as she smiled wearily.
"That would be lovely, Kenshin." She answered, and I set off to work.
I prepared her bath, and was just about to stand up as Sano walked my way, and dragged me to the other side of the yard.
"Well?"
"I did it, Sanosuke." I said, pleasantly.
"Great, Kenshin. I'm happy for ya'. But when are ya' gunna ask?" He inquired, and I replied without a second thought.
"Tonight, I will take her to the forest of the wishing fireflies."
"But isn't that the same pla--"
"Yes, that it is, Sanosuke."
"What grand irony, Kenshin." Sano said, shaking his head, chuckling.
"What's ironic?" Came another voice. A female voice. Kaoru's voice.
"Oh, nothing….say, Kaoru-dono….would you like to accompany this one on a walk tonight?"
"…Wow…I'd be delighted, Kenshin. Just let me get changed!"
I hadn't realized that the sun was just beginning to dip below the horizon.
Oh dear Kami-sama. My time was running short.
{Right now
Face to face
All my fears
Pushed aside
And right now
I'm ready to spend the rest of my life
With you}
I hurriedly changed into something 'appropriate'. My same hakama, but a cobalt gi….Great, I'd intimidate her by using the looks of the hitokiri. Wonderful.
I kept my hair in the bottom knot, so at least I wasn't too scary looking.
Kaoru was already waiting for me on the porch, looking stunning --more than usual, as if she had gone out of her way to look pretty, graceful, and elegant.
A simple pink kimono with silver embroidery, and a magenta obi. I don't remember seeing this particular kimono before. Interesting. It also matched the blush on her face rather well, I noted silently.
"Ready, Kaoru-dono?" I asked, extending a hand, and taking hers in mine.
Sano just shook his head and walked off, as I led her to the gate and we began our short trip to my intended destination.
We didn't say much, but not once did she stop smiling, I still remember that.
Finally, we were there. It felt like an eternity, my heart beating like a bass drum the entire time. I was afraid I was going to have a heart attack.
The smile vanished as I stopped, and turned towards Kaoru.
"No…." She said softly, her eyes widening, "Kenshin, no…please…"
"Ssh." I placed a finger to her lips. "Let me speak."
She seemed to trust me, because she said nothing more after that.
"Kaoru…." I said her name without the honorific again. It felt good. "I know that this place holds so many bitter memories….I never wanted to leave you, you know that. I never wanted to leave you…" I repeated, holding her in my arms the way I did when I was actually leaving for Kyoto.
She seemed stunned, as I pulled away, and to her merit, she still remained silent.
"I love you, Kaoru, more than anything….and I want to prove it to you…"
I gracefully let her go, and fell to my knees. It seemed as if my swordsmanship was good for something else, as well, for the fall didn't hurt.
"Kenshin…." She breathed, staring down at me with eyes still wide.
"This one…would love to be by your side for the rest of your life. Would you agree to give me the honor of being Himura Kaoru?"
"K-Kenshin.." She looked grief stricken for a moment, the single moment in time that I think I've ever been the most frightened. Finally, though, she smiled.
"Of course." She answered finally, and I stood up and claimed her lips with mine, feeling like I had really accomplished something.
{Would you look at her
She looks at me
She's got me thinking about her constantly}
It has been a week since I asked her, and not a day has passed when I didn't thank fate for bringing us together. For bringing her into my life at the time I needed someone the most. Every time she looks at me, I can tell there's one more little thing I don't know about her that I will figure out, and there will be a million more memories for me to reminisce upon.
{But she don't know how I feel}
She's always on my mind…but I don't think she knows. She'll never know the extent of my feelings, because it's unexplainable. I can't begin to comprehend how perfect she is, or how much I need her with me to feel complete…
But that's okay, because some things are always better left unsaid.
And some day, she may find out how much I care. Maybe.
{And as she carries on without a doubtI wonder if she'll figure out
I'm crazy for this girl}
I watch her as she trains, sometimes. The way she is so serious about her swordsmanship. She's so different from other women --fearless, driven, and successful, even if she doesn't know it.
I've fallen head over heels, deeply in love.
I'm crazy for this girl.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------All I have to say is, I hope you didn't die. U.u;