Batman skidded to a halt inside the bat cave and climbed out, quickly walking over to Nightwing and Alfred who were sitting at the desk waiting for him "What has he done?" Batman demanded walking past them towards the exit.
"Not much but he keeps yelling at the cameras, talking about escaping," Nightwing responded as they all entered the elevator but instead of going up to the mansion it when down.
"Sir, do you think it's best to entertain his delusion of escape?" Alfred asked.
"Yeah, he's not getting out of there, it's impossible," Nightwing agreed.
"Never underestimate him, Dick," Batman growled, "I thought you knew that."
"I do but he's in bulletproof glass, surrounded by tungsten bars, we've got about forty cameras on him, his cell has its own water and power supply which is not at all connected to the outside world, he has no human contact and he's thirty thousand feet in the ground and the only way out is this elevator, protected by sentry guns and electricity and even then it takes almost eight minutes to get down there, we would notice if someone was using it," Nightwing said "Bruce, he's not getting out of there ever, the justice league made sure that he couldn't stave to death and didn't have to eat so no one would have to have contact with him, that's how far we went, there's no chance."
"I know but he's had months to plan this out and I'm not taking any chances," Bruce answered and after that, they all stood in silence until they reached the bottom of the elevator shaft, 30,000 feet below the surface.
They stepped out into a large room with a metal catwalk that led to a smaller glass cell in the middle of the room that was surrounded by a fence of metal bars. Inside the metal cell sat a man with his back to them, a dragon tattoo covered his pale back and his green hair seemed to be the only color in the room other than the grey walls of the cave, white floor and bed and his black pants which were his only form of clothing. His head turned to the side slightly when the elevator doors closed and a grin appeared on his face "Batman," he said simply.
"Joker," he replied.
"Is this my appeal?" Joker asked standing up swiftly and moving to the front of the cell "Because I don't have a lawyer yet, oh and I want to complain about the food service down here, mainly the fact that there is none."
"And there won't be one," Batman growled.
"You know that's illegal right, I could sue you for kidnapping me and holding me against my will," Joker said and folded his arms.
"I think people would thank me," he responded.
Joker laughed slowly and held a hand to his chest "Oh that one hurt Batsy," he suddenly looked serious and growled putting his face to one of the air holes in the cell "Almost as much as it must have hurt you when you found your little robin lying in the rubble of that warehouse," he purred evilly.
"Don't you dare talk about him," Batman muttered.
The mad man chuckled "Oh am I getting to you huh? You should have heard his cries for help, he was so certain that Batman was going to come save him and I would go to hell like the scum I am," he taunted, then gave an exaggerated pout "But Batman never came," he said and burst into laughter as if It was the punchline to a perfect joke.
Batman was tempted to open the cell and grab the Joker and beat him into oblivion but resisted giving him an opportunity to escape "You're going to rot down here," he resorted to saying and turned to leave.
Joker giggled "I don't think so," he said brightly.
Batman turned back and glared at him "How do you suppose you're getting out?"
He stared back at him with no emotion, his jaw was a little slack as he stared unsettlingly at batman "A queen can't live without her king," he said simply, letting a smirk make its way onto his face.
It wasn't much but Batman knew what it meant, he turned and stormed towards the exit followed by Alfred, who had stayed out of sight and Dick, still in his costume. They entered the elevator and were silent for the first few minutes of the long travel back to the bat cave "Do you really think Quinn could do it?" Dick asked.
"Weren't you the one saying the place was inescapable?" Batman demanded.
"But we didn't consider the fact that someone else might be helping him."
"He's not getting out, Dick, end of conversation," he growled and walked back to his car.
On the other side of Gotham in the Joker's penthouse, four of the suicide squad members were sitting in the lounge. Captain Boomerang, Killer Croc, and Deadshot sat in front of Harley Quinn "Why do we have to do this huh? Let's just go after her ourselves," Boomerang said.
Harley glared at him "If you want to get caught you can do that but if you want her ta suffer, you'll help me get ma puddin back and he can help us," she said smiling.
"She's right, you seen this guy? Completely psychotic," Deadshot said, "He'll be useful."
"Fine but how do you expect to get him out of this super prison?" Boomerang demanded.
Harley sighed "I put a tracka' on one of tha bats cars, all I need you two to do," she said pointing at Croc and Boomerang "Is distract the Batman and his bitch, Nightwing, while me and Deadshot break inta tha bat cave and get Mr J," she concluded.
"We're gonna break into the bat cave?" Deadshot demanded.
"Yeah the tracka showed me where tha bat cave is and when you two distract them, they won't be in tha cave," Harley explained "Is everyone happy with that?" she asked.
They all mumbled their agreement and within two hours Deadshot and Harley were in Joker's car speeding through the streets towards the outskirts of Gotham "So where is the bat cave?"
"Underneath some river or something," she answered.
"And how do you expect we get in there?" he asked.
Harley picked up an explosive out of the glove box and handed it to him "Brute force," she said.
When they finally arrived at the river they saw a pair of tire tracks that disappeared at the edge of the river "So where is it doll face?" Harley didn't answer, she only took off her jacket grabbed the explosive and dived into the river, looking for an entrance "She really wants to find him," Deadshot said to himself.
Meanwhile Harley had found a stone platform that was only just under the surface of the water, she climbed on top of it and placed the bomb on the middle where there seemed to be the line of the door "Boom," she murmured grinning.
Deadshot saw her dive back into the water and barely had any time to react before the platform exploded revealing a large tunnel that went into the ground "Harley!" he yelled in panic but smirked when he saw her surface and throw her hands in the air. They both got to the tunnel and slid down the ramp before beginning the walk to the bat cave, Deadshot looked at her "So you and The Joker…" he started.
Harley looked at him confused "What about us?"
"You never told me how that happened," he said looking straight forward.
"Oh, well, I was his psychiatrist and after a while, we…started having an affair and the next time he broke out he took me with him," she explained purposely leaving out the fact that he electrocuted her.
"How do you put up with him? He's completely insane," he asked.
"I love him and he's not so bad when ya meet him, unless he don't like you then he'd probably kill ya," she said happily and skipped ahead into a large room "Wow," she said looking around her "I didn't think it'd be so big."
"You see him anywhere?"
She looked around "No."
"How did you get in here?" asked a voice behind them.
They turned to see an old man, Harley didn't see anything threatening about him "I'm here for ma puddin, could ya just point me in that direction?" she asked.
"No," the man said sternly.
"Shoot him but don't kill him," she said immediately. Deadshot nodded and before the man could react he was shot in the shoulder and fell back "Where is he?!" she shouted grabbing him by the collar.
"I'll never tell you, he's never getting out," he said.
By this point, Harley had had enough and knocked his head back onto the concrete floor "Come on let's look around, he's not in here," she said getting up and walking around the office.
"What about there?" he asked pointing to an elevator "If there's another room, that seems like the only way to get there."
Harley ran over to the elevator and looked at the buttons, I had her current floor, another three floors above and one below and she looked at Deadshot "He wouldn't be upstairs would he?"
"Between upstairs and downstairs for keeping the most dangerous super-criminal in history, I'd say downstairs," he said and got in the elevator next to them.
"I hope Crocy and Boomer are ok," she said after a minute in the elevator.
"They'll be fine, we saved the world remember?" he smiled and nudged her with his elbow.
"Yeah but we didn't get anythin' for that, puddin forgot the espresso machine when he broke me out," she said.
"Well, thats why we're here to get your…friend, so we can unleash him on Waller, I'm sure he'll have something to say to her too, he said.
I had been seven more minutes, Harley was sitting on the floor and Deadshot was leaning against the side "How far can an elevator be?" she whined.
"I don't know but I think we're in the right place," he said. Harley was about to smart mouth back when the doors opened, she gasped and ran out and through the small tunnel on the other side "Harley wait!"
But she had already gone, he ran after her through the small tunnel to see her pressed up against a metal fence "Puddin!" she yelled beaming.
Joker turned around and rushed over to the front of his cell "Harley!"
She smiled and turned to Deadshot "Shoot the locks," she demanded and he did as he was asked, not wanting to get between Harley and her puddin.
When the glass box was open Harley swung the door open and threw her arms around the Joker pressing her mouth deeply into his "Harley," he growled and purred between her kisses and shoved her against the wall of the cell.
Deadshot looked away as the two clowns made out in front of him before coughing "Let's go before the bat gets back," he said awkwardly.
The Joker pulled away from her, keeping his arms around her waist "Who's this guy?" he asked immediately suspicious.
"This is Deadshot, he and a few other of my friends need your help, puddin," Harley explained smiling.
Joker looked at her "That's the only reason you're breaking me out?" he asked.
"No, no, no, puddin, I needed their help and I said that if they broke you out you could help them so that they would help," she explained quickly.
It seemed to be a good enough explanation for him so he took her hand and pulled her to the elevator "Come on, I just wanna get outta here," he said pressing the up button barely giving Deadshot enough time to get into the elevator.
"What was it like sitting in there all day, man?" he asked, "I've spent my fair share of time in a cell but I wasn't isolated."
"Oh it's a great time, lots of time to think about what you want to do to Gotham and Batman when you get out," he said "And you and me, toots," Joker said pulling Harley to him "Have got some catching up to do," he purred and kissed her neck softly.
"Yeah ok, look, man, please don't do that lovey-dovey crap in front of me, ok?"
Harley smiled "Aww come on, he's been down here without his Harley to take care of him," she giggled.
"Please, just don't," Deadshot repeated and the two clowns laughed.
A few hours later Alfred came to and immediately ran to the radio "Master Bruce?!"
"They got away Alfred, we lost Killer Croc and Boomerang," Batman answered tiredly.
"Uhh…Master Bruce…we have a problem," Alfred answered.
"What's wrong Alfred?"
"…He got out," he answered after a pause.
"What?!" Batman yelled, "How?!"
"Harleen Quinzel came for him, sir," he explained "And she was not alone she was with Floyd Lawton, I'm reviewing the security footage now," he sighed when he watched the Joker leading Harley and Lawton out of the bat cave but not before turning to the camera and sticking up his middle fingers.
"How did she find him?"
"I would look for a tracker in your car if I were you and they blew up the door and found his cell by looking around, sir."
"And where were you?" Batman demanded, speeding back to the hideout.
"Unconscious on the floor after being shot in the shoulder, sir, so I think you should take a long thought before you go blaming me for this mess," Alfred snapped.
He sighed "I'm coming back, we need to find him, Alfred."
On the other side of Gotham, in the Joker's penthouse, Joker rolled off of Harley, breathing heavily as he collapsed onto the bed beside her "It's good to be back, baby," he said.
"You're welcome," Harley replied, shuffling over to rest her head on his shoulder.
He smirked down at her and kissed her before climbing out of bed, much to Harley's displeasure "I'll be back in a bit," he promised, chuckling when she wouldn't let go of his arm "Harls, I'm hungry," he whined.
She pouted at him "No come 'ere," she pressed pulling him back down onto the mattress and kissing him deeply. She ran her hand through his hair and pulled, he growled pulling her closer and deepening the kiss, abandoning all thoughts of getting food.
Just as he was about to climb back over her they both heard the intercom buzz, they both growled in irritation "I'll see who it is," he muttered, getting up and pulling on his Arkham pants and shuffling through the penthouse, the early morning sun shining through the windows, casting an orange glow of the room and the view of Gotham. He got to the intercom next to the front door and looked at the camera footage that was live from the front of the building, he saw Deadshot, Killer Croc and Boomerang standing at the front door looking up into the camera.
"We know you're in there, Joker, come on, let us in," Deadshot yelled to the camera.
"Yeah, it's bloody cold out here," Boomerang added.
Joker growled before pressing the microphone button "What do you want?!" he snapped.
"We need to talk to you and Quinn, man," Deadshot said.
"Well come back later, we're…in the middle of something."
"Come on this is important," he pressed.
"Why should I care?"
"Because Harley will be mad if you don't help us."
Joker growled "Fine!" he yelled and buzzed them in "Harley!"
"Yeah, baby?" she asked immerging from the bedroom in a robe.
"Your squad is here to see you," he growled and walked over to the liquor cabinet and grabbing a bottle of scotch.
"Come on baby, don't be sour," she sighed coming up behind him and wrapping her arms around him "We can get back to business after."
He was about to respond when the men from downstairs entered through the front door and the Joker quickly shrugged off Harley's hands before pouring himself a considerably large glass of scotch "I don't care," he muttered, taking a gulp and walking to the lounge to sit down in an armchair in front of where the three men had sat "Ok, what do you want?" he demanded.
"Mr J, don't be mean," Harley said and sat down on the second lounge.
"Harley said you could help us get back at Waller," said Deadshot.
"Oh did she now?" he asked.
"Puddin' we talked about this," she said.
He sighed "No we didn't, we've been fucking since we got home," he said abruptly.
"Mr J!" yelled, shocked.
"What? We have," he said defensively "And we still would be if these fucks hadn't interrupted us," he continued.
Harley had had enough so she decided to take control "If you don't have anything nice to say so just shut up!"
He had seemed to have drank enough of his drink to find this amusing and only chuckled leaning back in his chair and taking another drink. Deadshot spoke up "Look, we just want to get back at Waller and we know you do too, we would have done it ourselves but Harley's told us that you're one mad dog, man, so we helped her break you out."
"What's in it for me?" he asked.
He sighed "We broke you out that's one thing and as I said, you can't be Waller's biggest fan either," he said, "Think of it as a revenge opportunity."
Joker finished his drink in one gulp and sighed slamming the glass down on the coffee table "Fine."
After an hour of Harley chatting with the rest of her squad and Joker drinking a few too many, Harley showed them out the apartment and sighed looking at her now intoxicated boyfriend. She walked over and sat in his lap, frowning at the smell of alcohol in his breath "You're drunk," she stated.
"And? Do you care or are you going come with me to the bedroom and finish what we started?"
She growled "Damn you can be charming when you want to," she said and slammed their lips together.