One Tin Soldier
Disclaimer: I own zip. All that, and a bag of chips!
Summery: After the events of OotP (That's a warning, folks!) the path laid for Harry is one he must walk alone. But what he does not realize is the falsity of the statement. Some shippy goodness may be in store. The rating, too, may go up.
~~~~~
Beneath the begonias of number four, Harry Potter stared at the stars. Another sleepless night had lured the adolescent from the comfort of his room to the midnight chill of the well-groomed lawn. He listened silently to the drone of the television, which Dudley had fallen asleep in front of, yet again, after his favorite shows. After the drivel of Dudley's liking, the station opted to draw a more sophisticated audience with the broadcast of Broadway productions. As Harry's mind wandered with the melodies of Miss Saigon trailing in the background, a cloud crossed the moon before him. Quietly, the boy sighed. Above him, the black dog of the cloud only stared down upon him, and faded into the darkness. He closed his eyes as a look of pain flickered across his pale features.
He had not slept much lately. His godfather still ran in his dreams, always evading his call behind the veil of darkness, the veil of hopelessness. Every night, if he wasn't gazing through the eyes of the snake, he was observing the dance of his mother and father before him, his godfather running away from him in the background.
A small sound escaped his lips. No matter how much he argued that nothing could be done, the unfairness still strangled his feeble hold to his only consolation-- his friends. They couldn't understand, nobody did. This was just too much. He had been the cause of his godfather's death, he knew it. But what hurt the most was knowing how infinitely alone he was. In this fight, in this end.
As he opened his eyes again, the same overwhelming sense of emptiness filled him with a pain worse than anything he had felt before. Standing so alone at the edge of the abyss, he plummeted into the stars above him in a fountain of glittering silence. He felt himself slip further, gravity releasing him, and quietly, like a hand into a glove, the cold night air seemed to take him. For a moment, he swore he brushed near the dog-cloud, and the laughing, lolling creature he loved ran beside him again amongst the stars. He stretched his arms to him...
All the met Harry was the slick begonia leaves. His head slipped back as cruel consciousness called him. Staring into the same starry void, tears began to slip tentatively down his cheeks as Kim sang softly to her child in the still night air.
~Did I kill him?...~
///You who I cradled in my arms, you...
Asking as little as you can,
Little snip of a little man
I know I'd give my life for you..///
Lupin had told him his mother loved Madam Butterfly... Her favorite opera... Wasn't Miss Saigon derived from that opera?
Was he hearing his mother singing to him?
His eyes slipped closed as the voice fell over him, the tears coming in sudden succession.
///You didn't ask me to be born, you,
Why should you learn of war or pain?
To make sure you're not hurt again,
I swear I'd give my life for you.
I've tasted love beyond all fear
And you should know it's love that brought you here...///
His hands locked into fists as he tried to stifle the sobs. He could hear his mother in his mind. The same vision came forth, again and again.
~ "No! Not Harry! Please, not Harry..."~
///And in one perfect night
When the stars burned like new,
I knew what I must do!////
~Why did she do that for me?~
///I'll give you a million things I'll never own,
I'll give you a world to conquer when you're grown..///
His eyes flew open. ~*Scoffs* A world to conquer? But I'm alone...~
His breaths came ragged and heavy as his tortured eyes stared into the sky.
~ What have you given me, mother?~
///You will be who you want to be, you,
Can choose whatever heaven grants...///
The tears dripped onto his clothing, the cold unintelligible from the evening air.
~ A world without my family? A path I must walk alone?~
///As long as you can have your chance,
I swear I'll give my life for you....///
He stood up and ran from there, the green light burning in his mind, to the back of the house and up the rope ladder from his window. He knelt on the bed, sobbing brokenly. The light on the clock stared back at him. He was sixteen, and he was alone.
As sudden as the pain came, it still slipped in, as did the darkness, through the cracks of his tears.
~~~~~~~~
He wanted to vomit. The stench was terrible, the burning buildings all around him flashing with fire. Muggles fell before him as the families were slain, one by one, as Voldemort gave his cruel order to his waiting guard. Nausea fell over him wave bye wave as the men and woman collapsed before him, the children never even passing before his eyes, the witless accusations ringing in his ears. He swore that if he could run, he would turn and never look back.
The deaths were too gruesome to describe. Huge blades were waved before him. Awful curses were used that caused the victim's bodies to explode organ by organ. Women with eyes of blood and men robbed of body parts collapsed before him, each etching a horrible reminder of the bastard that watched in satisfaction's heartlessness. The pain grew in intensity until he was blind with it, beyond his body he swore he must have vomited.
They were raped, slain in masses....
So publicly... so openly.. It was a demonstration of the Dark Lord's power. An insult, a challenge, to the ministry, to the world. These people, these rich Muggles, had done nothing. Ripped from their beds, they were tortured for crimes that did not belong to their name. He watched in helplessness as his sight swelled in red. His mind trembled on the edge of some frighteningly intense nothingness.
As everything shattered, he stared in paralyzed fear. The final victim, a man of about 50, stared transfixed in his bleeding mind, gazed up at him with deadened features. The green light around him illuminated the glossy honey brown eyes and flawless, although large, front teeth.
Everything fell away. He screamed.
~~~~~
A parchment brushed his cheek as dawn strained to pass through the wilted curtains. His eyes opened. His head hurt terribly, and he felt near to blind. Shadows passed above him back and forth as he moaned. Suddenly, the last face floated before him, and all at once he threw himself forward and vomited on his bed.
Nameless hands eased him to the side, and as his blurred vision swirled before him Remus Lupin gazed down on him, eyes fixed and worried as he mopped his mouth and chest. Harry looked dazedly down at his soiled robes.
~What the hell am I doing here..?~
Harry stared around the room with a pang of sorrow. He was at Grimwauld... the home of the Order, and of his late godfather. His breath caught in his chest as his senses slowly gathered themselves.
::The green light around him illuminated the glossy honey brown eyes and flawless, although large, front teeth.::
His skull felt as if it were cracking as he grabbed it in his hands, curling forward, eyes wide in horror.
~Hermione!~
" Hermione!!"
His voice sounded alien as it burst from his ragged and retch-burned throat. He stared with frantic eyes around the room, and made to stand from his bed. Lupin held him back, suddenly. Harry looked up into his eyes, heart sinking to the pit of his stomach. There was a terrible familialarity as he restrained him.He continued yelling frantically, struggling forward.
"Hermione..! Hermione!..."
~ "No Harry... He's.. d--"~
Lupin stared down at him. "Not now, Harry... You cannot see her now..."
Harry still struggled.
"Hermione... Hermione!!" Something inside of him rejected the idea of not being able to see her. This was far too like the time Lupin had restrained him from chasing Sirius.. because then his godfather had been dead. His mind was convinced that those eyes had belonged to her.
Without thinking, he kicked Remus and ran dizzily through the house, yelling. He stumbled from room to room, heart pounding.
~ she can't be dead she can't be dead she can't be dead.....~
He fell through the final door, and froze, gasping, at the interior.
Hermione sat curled on the bed, unconscious, eyes red, several welts across her skin and an odd sort of ashen tone on her cheeks. He wanted to scream. He began to rush forward, swearing that if she had died, another person, because of him, he would never, ever, be able to live life in the light of day. It would have been his fault, utterly and completely. His fingers reached out and came within inches of shaking his friend, grabbing her shoulders and forcing the form into some kind of proof of life.
~ Not someone else... oh god, I need her and Ron!.. if--~
His thoughts were disrupted, though, as he fell back through the doorway, a hand gripping his collar with choking tightness.
Harry, rather shocked, stared up into the face of Alaster Moody.
~~~~~~
A/N: TBC Please review!!! You get cookies, and I get feedback!
~~~~~
Disclaimer: I own zip. All that, and a bag of chips!
Summery: After the events of OotP (That's a warning, folks!) the path laid for Harry is one he must walk alone. But what he does not realize is the falsity of the statement. Some shippy goodness may be in store. The rating, too, may go up.
~~~~~
Beneath the begonias of number four, Harry Potter stared at the stars. Another sleepless night had lured the adolescent from the comfort of his room to the midnight chill of the well-groomed lawn. He listened silently to the drone of the television, which Dudley had fallen asleep in front of, yet again, after his favorite shows. After the drivel of Dudley's liking, the station opted to draw a more sophisticated audience with the broadcast of Broadway productions. As Harry's mind wandered with the melodies of Miss Saigon trailing in the background, a cloud crossed the moon before him. Quietly, the boy sighed. Above him, the black dog of the cloud only stared down upon him, and faded into the darkness. He closed his eyes as a look of pain flickered across his pale features.
He had not slept much lately. His godfather still ran in his dreams, always evading his call behind the veil of darkness, the veil of hopelessness. Every night, if he wasn't gazing through the eyes of the snake, he was observing the dance of his mother and father before him, his godfather running away from him in the background.
A small sound escaped his lips. No matter how much he argued that nothing could be done, the unfairness still strangled his feeble hold to his only consolation-- his friends. They couldn't understand, nobody did. This was just too much. He had been the cause of his godfather's death, he knew it. But what hurt the most was knowing how infinitely alone he was. In this fight, in this end.
As he opened his eyes again, the same overwhelming sense of emptiness filled him with a pain worse than anything he had felt before. Standing so alone at the edge of the abyss, he plummeted into the stars above him in a fountain of glittering silence. He felt himself slip further, gravity releasing him, and quietly, like a hand into a glove, the cold night air seemed to take him. For a moment, he swore he brushed near the dog-cloud, and the laughing, lolling creature he loved ran beside him again amongst the stars. He stretched his arms to him...
All the met Harry was the slick begonia leaves. His head slipped back as cruel consciousness called him. Staring into the same starry void, tears began to slip tentatively down his cheeks as Kim sang softly to her child in the still night air.
~Did I kill him?...~
///You who I cradled in my arms, you...
Asking as little as you can,
Little snip of a little man
I know I'd give my life for you..///
Lupin had told him his mother loved Madam Butterfly... Her favorite opera... Wasn't Miss Saigon derived from that opera?
Was he hearing his mother singing to him?
His eyes slipped closed as the voice fell over him, the tears coming in sudden succession.
///You didn't ask me to be born, you,
Why should you learn of war or pain?
To make sure you're not hurt again,
I swear I'd give my life for you.
I've tasted love beyond all fear
And you should know it's love that brought you here...///
His hands locked into fists as he tried to stifle the sobs. He could hear his mother in his mind. The same vision came forth, again and again.
~ "No! Not Harry! Please, not Harry..."~
///And in one perfect night
When the stars burned like new,
I knew what I must do!////
~Why did she do that for me?~
///I'll give you a million things I'll never own,
I'll give you a world to conquer when you're grown..///
His eyes flew open. ~*Scoffs* A world to conquer? But I'm alone...~
His breaths came ragged and heavy as his tortured eyes stared into the sky.
~ What have you given me, mother?~
///You will be who you want to be, you,
Can choose whatever heaven grants...///
The tears dripped onto his clothing, the cold unintelligible from the evening air.
~ A world without my family? A path I must walk alone?~
///As long as you can have your chance,
I swear I'll give my life for you....///
He stood up and ran from there, the green light burning in his mind, to the back of the house and up the rope ladder from his window. He knelt on the bed, sobbing brokenly. The light on the clock stared back at him. He was sixteen, and he was alone.
As sudden as the pain came, it still slipped in, as did the darkness, through the cracks of his tears.
~~~~~~~~
He wanted to vomit. The stench was terrible, the burning buildings all around him flashing with fire. Muggles fell before him as the families were slain, one by one, as Voldemort gave his cruel order to his waiting guard. Nausea fell over him wave bye wave as the men and woman collapsed before him, the children never even passing before his eyes, the witless accusations ringing in his ears. He swore that if he could run, he would turn and never look back.
The deaths were too gruesome to describe. Huge blades were waved before him. Awful curses were used that caused the victim's bodies to explode organ by organ. Women with eyes of blood and men robbed of body parts collapsed before him, each etching a horrible reminder of the bastard that watched in satisfaction's heartlessness. The pain grew in intensity until he was blind with it, beyond his body he swore he must have vomited.
They were raped, slain in masses....
So publicly... so openly.. It was a demonstration of the Dark Lord's power. An insult, a challenge, to the ministry, to the world. These people, these rich Muggles, had done nothing. Ripped from their beds, they were tortured for crimes that did not belong to their name. He watched in helplessness as his sight swelled in red. His mind trembled on the edge of some frighteningly intense nothingness.
As everything shattered, he stared in paralyzed fear. The final victim, a man of about 50, stared transfixed in his bleeding mind, gazed up at him with deadened features. The green light around him illuminated the glossy honey brown eyes and flawless, although large, front teeth.
Everything fell away. He screamed.
~~~~~
A parchment brushed his cheek as dawn strained to pass through the wilted curtains. His eyes opened. His head hurt terribly, and he felt near to blind. Shadows passed above him back and forth as he moaned. Suddenly, the last face floated before him, and all at once he threw himself forward and vomited on his bed.
Nameless hands eased him to the side, and as his blurred vision swirled before him Remus Lupin gazed down on him, eyes fixed and worried as he mopped his mouth and chest. Harry looked dazedly down at his soiled robes.
~What the hell am I doing here..?~
Harry stared around the room with a pang of sorrow. He was at Grimwauld... the home of the Order, and of his late godfather. His breath caught in his chest as his senses slowly gathered themselves.
::The green light around him illuminated the glossy honey brown eyes and flawless, although large, front teeth.::
His skull felt as if it were cracking as he grabbed it in his hands, curling forward, eyes wide in horror.
~Hermione!~
" Hermione!!"
His voice sounded alien as it burst from his ragged and retch-burned throat. He stared with frantic eyes around the room, and made to stand from his bed. Lupin held him back, suddenly. Harry looked up into his eyes, heart sinking to the pit of his stomach. There was a terrible familialarity as he restrained him.He continued yelling frantically, struggling forward.
"Hermione..! Hermione!..."
~ "No Harry... He's.. d--"~
Lupin stared down at him. "Not now, Harry... You cannot see her now..."
Harry still struggled.
"Hermione... Hermione!!" Something inside of him rejected the idea of not being able to see her. This was far too like the time Lupin had restrained him from chasing Sirius.. because then his godfather had been dead. His mind was convinced that those eyes had belonged to her.
Without thinking, he kicked Remus and ran dizzily through the house, yelling. He stumbled from room to room, heart pounding.
~ she can't be dead she can't be dead she can't be dead.....~
He fell through the final door, and froze, gasping, at the interior.
Hermione sat curled on the bed, unconscious, eyes red, several welts across her skin and an odd sort of ashen tone on her cheeks. He wanted to scream. He began to rush forward, swearing that if she had died, another person, because of him, he would never, ever, be able to live life in the light of day. It would have been his fault, utterly and completely. His fingers reached out and came within inches of shaking his friend, grabbing her shoulders and forcing the form into some kind of proof of life.
~ Not someone else... oh god, I need her and Ron!.. if--~
His thoughts were disrupted, though, as he fell back through the doorway, a hand gripping his collar with choking tightness.
Harry, rather shocked, stared up into the face of Alaster Moody.
~~~~~~
A/N: TBC Please review!!! You get cookies, and I get feedback!
~~~~~